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Quotes for
Joseph (Character)
from We're No Angels (1955)

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We're No Angels (1955)
Joseph: We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, slash their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes.

Albert: Even the girl herself called us angels.
Joseph: We're no angels.

Albert: What if she knows his handwriting?
Joseph: If you got a beautiful note like this, would you bother comparing signatures?
Albert: No. It'd have to be signed by a girl, though.

Joseph: I'm going to buy them their Christmas turkey.
Albert: "Buy"? Do you really mean "buy"?
Joseph: Yes, buy! In the Spirit of Christmas. The hard part's going to be stealing the money to pay for it.

Jules: Tell him there's a deadly poisonous snake inside of the cage. Tell him.
Joseph: [Joseph eaves the room. Re-enters a few seconds later]
Jules: You didn't tell him?
Joseph: [after a pause] He knows already.

Joseph: I'll say one thing about prison. You meet a better class of people.

Joseph: [Referring to the Ducotels] People like that - how can you cut their throats?
Albert: [Dryly] It isn't easy.

Albert: I read someplace that when a lady faints, you should loosen her clothing.
Joseph: [Sarcastically] It's that kind of reading that got you into trouble.

Amelie Ducotel: I'd like to talk to you if can spare a few minutes.
Joseph: A man sentenced to life can always spare a few minutes.

Amelie Ducotel: It's you?
Joseph: How could I be anybody else?

[Joseph brings Andre a spiny pineapple on a plate to eat with no utensils]
Andre Trochard: Knife! Fork! How am I supposed to eat that?
Joseph: [matter-of-factly] You eat it like an apple.
[Joseph gives him a look like this is common knowledge]

Joseph: That's the way it is, "in the midst of life," et cetera, et cetera, I forget the rest of it.

Joseph: In the immortal words of somebody or other, "Well done, Adolphe."

Joseph: If you don't mind my saying so, Albert, he's got it all over you.

Albert: Now I've really lost her.
Joseph: You never really had her.