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: The next item on the agenda is the calendar. Last year we had views of local bridges, so this year I thought we could go for the twelve most beautiful views of... Chris
] ... George Clooney Marie
: ...the churches of Wharfedale. Chris
] Eleven fully-clothed and a little "lift the flap" for December.
: We don't do nudity. But we do do charity. I assume that this is a local fundraiser and you're not going to be making a big hoo-ha out of it? Chris
: Yes. Brenda Mooney
: Then it is a branch matter, and I can leave any decision in the hands of your branch president.
] Oh sod it go on then.
: I'd like to welcome Alan Rathbone from York. He's here to tell us about the history of the milk marketing board.
: Might I just say, I never knew broccoli could be so intriguing.
: She's here to introduce us to the fascinating world of rugs
[secretary whispers to her
: My apologies Iris, I stand corrected, it's not just rugs, it is in fact all forms of carpeting. Chris
: Oh, thank God. For a moment I thought it was going to be dull.
: It's not all jam and Jerusalem you know.
: And seeing Marie's raised the issue, we're a good few months short. Marie
: Is that not because all this has the air of another of Chris's great ideas? Like the vodka tasting night? Chris
: No, because I'm going to make sure this one turns out ok Marie, because it's for John. It's inspired by John and it's for John and it's because of John and no matter what you might think of the idea Marie, you're looking at January.
: Naked! Cora
: It's not naked. It's nude. Marie
: What's the difference? Celia
: I do know how you must be feeling. Annie
: Do you? Oh dear. Marie
: Are you sure John would have approved? Annie
: You said yourself, you didn't know him. Marie
: I know he was a decent man... Annie
: If your concern is for the reputation of Knapely WI... Marie
: It's not. Annie
: I think it is. The WI is about doing good. And what does more good? Knowing slightly more about broccoli one week than we did the last or providing some comfort for someone in the worst hours of their life because that's what it's like sweetheart. And no. I don't think you do know how I feel.
: It says here in this letter from Leukaemia Research Fund that the calendar has so far raised a total of £286,000. So congratulations to all of us for making it such a success. Annie
: [whispers to Chris
] We can get that sofa in the leather then.
: Victoria Sponge. Annie's on Victoria sponge.
[Marie leaves. Chris dives under the table and brings out a cake tin
: What's that? Chris
: Well, Annie won't have had time running Yul Brynner in and out of Skipton General, so ta da! Annie
: Sorry I'm late. It just took a bit longer than... Oh my God, the cake! Chris
: Told you.