Stevie Kenarban
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Quotes for
Stevie Kenarban (Character)
from "Malcolm in the Middle" (2000)

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"Malcolm in the Middle: Pilot (#1.1)" (2000)
Malcolm: Why do they keep doing that?
Stevie Kenarban: You're new.
Malcolm: Oh great, so I'm the freak of the freakshow?

Malcolm: Oh sure, you're okay because this doesn't make any difference to you. You've always been a freak. I used to be normal. Wait... who just said that? You're gonna take that the wrong way, aren't you?
Stevie Kenarban: You... suck!


"Malcolm in the Middle: Shame (#1.4)" (2000)
Malcolm: can't stop thinking about what I did to Kevin. I feel like crap and no one understands. Even you. You're supposed to be my friend and you don't even care.
Stevie: And yet... you keep... talking.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Hal Coaches (#3.16)" (2002)
Stevie: Social skills 10?
Malcolm: I have social skills, jackass.


"Malcolm in the Middle: The Bully (#2.10)" (2000)
Malcolm: Those guys are nuts. I'm funny!... Aren't I funny?
Lloyd: To be honest, you can be a little caustic.
Stevie: The word... is arrogant.
Dabney: How about bitter, sarcastic and handsome?
[Lloyd and Stevie turn to look at him]
Dabney: [points somewhere] Hey, she's cute.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Dirty Magazine (#5.9)" (2004)
Stevie: Freedom's a glorious thing.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Watching the Baby (#5.2)" (2003)
Kathy: [through crocodile tears] Do you guys want to go out on a date with us?
Stevie Kenarban: You pray... and you pray... and finally... it happens.
[Stevie takes a hit from his inhaler, then from his breath spray]
Malcolm: What do you mean, 'go out'? When? Where?
Joanne: Right now. With us. In that.
Reese: [the boys rush to the window and see a stretch limousine] Oh my God. I bet it has a toilet! Dibs!
Joanne: [later in the limo] OK, so here's the deal, freaks. Our boyfriends left us in the middle of the Fall Formal to go to some stupid party... So now we're gonna go to this party and make out with you guys in front of those inconsiderate jerks.
Malcolm: You want to make them jealous?
Joanne: No, we want to make them puke! See, once they see us kissing losers like you guys, they're never gonna live it down.
Malcolm: You came over to our house and asked us out because we were the most disgusting guys you could find?
Limo Driver: Actually, some kid with a hunch back and gills turned them down. Said he had too much pride.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Rollerskates (#1.13)" (2000)
Stevie Kenarbin: [after playing Hockey] Good... Game?
Malcolm: [clearly out of breath] This... Sucks.
Stevie Kenarbin: You... mocking me?
Malcolm: No... tired.
Stevie Kenarbin: Get... Skates.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Sleepover (#1.6)" (2000)
Stevie: What's that?
Malcolm: A stripped car
Stevie: What's that?
Malcolm: A naked man arguing with the wall.
Stevie: What's that?
Malcolm: A nudy book store - with my dad coming out of it.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Dewey's Special Class (#5.19)" (2004)
Malcolm: [Malcolm is desperate to help Dewey fail an intelligence test and stay out of the Krelboyne class] We have to give exactly the same answers a real dumb person would give.
Stevie Kenarban: How do we... do that?
Reese: [enter Reese, in effect answering Stevie's question] Guys, guys. I've been trying to figure out what kind of genius I am, and I finally realized, I should go to the Library. And you know what? You can get Internet porn there, and the librarians can't do anything about it! God, I *love* this country!


"Malcolm in the Middle: Carnival (#2.23)" (2001)
Kitty Kenarban: A sleepover? At someone else's house?
Abraham 'Abe' Kenarban: Don't you like sleeping here, son?
Kitty Kenarban: I don't think this is a good idea, Stevie, I mean, Malcolm's family doesn't have a hepa filter air purifier, and God knows how outmoded their alarm system is. They probably don't even have motion detectors.
Abraham 'Abe' Kenarban: Be honest, son. Is it my snoring?
Kitty Kenarban: You have a perfectly good hypoallergenic mattress here to sleep on. I just don't see the point.
Stevie Kenarban: [wheezing due to his chronic breathing problem] It would help... me feel... normal.
Stevie Kenarban: [Stevie realises his parents can no longer object; he turns his wheelchair and exits toward the camera, grinning] Fish... in a barrel.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Dinner Out (#2.4)" (2000)
Stevie Kenarban: Crying on command got me a cable modem!


"Malcolm in the Middle: Hal Quits (#2.14)" (2001)
Stevie: With my intelligence and tokenism, the sky's the limit.


"Malcolm in the Middle: Experiment (#5.18)" (2004)
Stevie: Outwitted... by a dumbass.