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: My husband is being disrespected by a woman who isn't fit to eat the crap between your toes. Someone ought to cut that woman's belly open with a rusty knife and strangle her with her own entrails." Francis
: I love you, too.
: I don't even know how to pronounce your last name. Piama
: Mother, we can't afford to put you up here. Grandma Ida
: You can afford a maid. Piama
: I'm not the maid, Ida. My name is Piama. I'm married to Francis. Grandma Ida
: [to Lois
] Tell the help not to talk to me.
: Hal, why don't you take the boys out tomorrow and do something fun? I could use the time alone, anyway, to straighten up the house before the baby comes. Piama
: I can help you clean. Lois
: [trying to disguise her resentment of Piama
] Well, that'll take a little longer, but I guess I could use the company. Hal
: Hey, there's a car show at the convention center. Malcolm
: Yeah, let's spend the whole day looking at cool things that we'll never get to own. Lois
: Oh, come on, Malcolm. If we only looked at stuff we could afford, all we'd ever see is crap.
: Sorry it's so cramped, Piama. This van really isn't designed to carry seven people. Piama
: Oh, I guess I was thrown off by the seven seats and the seven seatbelts.
: [to Lois
] Lady, you don't wanna stick your hand in my face.
: I still can't believe you convinced the newspaper to give us another review. Francis
: Honey, you of all people should know how persuasive I can be. Piama Tananahaakna
: You cried? Francis
: Like a baby.
: Wow, Mom, this is fantastic. I am so happy to be home for Christmas. Piama Tananahaakna
: You said this house was Satan's trash can. Francis
: [with forced sweetness
] You're quoting me out of context!
: There has to be some way to get rid of her. Piama
: All we know is she doesn't burn.
: [indicating note from boys
] I'm afraid it starts off a little antagonistic. Francis
] Is that last word 'lick' or 'wipe?' Piama
: I think you're safe either way.
: [Reese's septic barrel has just exploded over everyone
] Well we might as well go ahead and have kids, since I'm not afraid of changing diapers anymore.
: What happened? Francis
: The other piglets were mean to him. Piama Tananahaakna
: Francis, you said last week you'd put that thing back in its pen. Francis
: I tried, but he's just so good natured and sweet, the others won't let him feed. I am not putting him back in there until I teach him to be more assertive. Piama Tananahaakna
: Either you return Ralph to his pen tonight, or he's gonna be looking up at you from an omelet.