Sam McGuire
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Sam McGuire (Character)
from The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)
Sam McGuire: All right, tell me what you know that I don't.
Matt McGuire: Dad, it's only a fourteen-hour flight.

Sam McGuire: Miss Ungermeyer says Lizzie's very well chaperoned.
Matt McGuire: Yeah, what is she, 5'1", 5'2" max?

Matt McGuire: 74 percent of Italian teenage boys said that they would most like to date American girls.
Sam McGuire: Where'd you get these numbers?
Matt McGuire: They're available for everyone who's got a computer.

"Lizzie McGuire: Between a Rock and a Bra Place (#1.12)" (2001)
[Lizzie has just blurted out to her mother that she and Miranda want to go to the mall to buy their first bras. Gordo is a little freaked out by this revelation]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Mrs. McGuire, suddenly I don't want to go with you guys to the mall anymore.
Jo McGuire: That's okay. You're uninvited.
[Jo walks off with Lizzie and Miranda]
Sam McGuire: Well, how about those, um, Mets? Huh?
Matt: I don't care. I'm just glad we're not doing anything that has to do with bras.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I have to go home and do something. Anything. Anything but this.

[Matt is entering a contest to become Jet Li's sidekick in his new movie. Sam wanted him to write an essay but Matt prefers Gordo's suggestion that they make a video and send it in]
Gordo: Where's Matt?
Sam McGuire: He's getting ready. I've got some interview questions for ya.
[hands Gordo the pad that he was writing on]
Gordo: [reading the questions] "What's your name?", "How old are you?", "Where do you go to school?"
[Gordo looks unimpressed]
Sam McGuire: [smiles] That is my absolute favourite.
Gordo: These are *really* great questions, Mr. McGuire, but there -there are other ways we could go.
[Matt jumps out and does a bad Kung Fu move]
Gordo: Looking good, Matt. So, what I was thinking is that we shoot a couple of cool establishing shots. Matt raking in the Zen garden...
Sam McGuire: We don't have a Zen garden. And what about my questions?
Gordo: [trying to be polite] The questions aren't very...
Matt: [shouts] Bor-ing!

Matt: [about David Carradine] Hey, who was that guy?
Sam McGuire: Let's just say he's like a brother to me.

"Lizzie McGuire: Party Over Here (#2.18)" (2002)
Jo McGuire: Sam, you flinched for your driver's licence picture.
Sam McGuire: Honey, this is something Matt really wants to do, and I can get over being a little camera shy for one day. That's why I AM the fun dad! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO!

Matt McGuire: Here we are, Dad. The doorway to stardom!
Sam McGuire: Okay. This is not gonna be that big a deal. We're not gonna be on camera that long. It's just gonna be a fun day together, trying something new.
Matt McGuire: Something new, like stardom!
Sam McGuire: Here, let's just sign in.
Matt McGuire: On the sign in sheet to stardom!

Director: Have the stunt guy set up the harness. Robyn! Where's my blend in?
Sam McGuire: [to Matt] Did he say harness?
Matt McGuire: The harness to stardom!

"Lizzie McGuire: Rated Aargh (#1.18)" (2001)
Sam McGuire: [about the "miniature golf"] Who won?
[the kids speak at the same time]
Lizzie: Gordo.
Miranda: Lizzie.
Gordo: Miranda.

Lizzie: The sports guy will announce who won the car races, and Gordo's taping it at home, and he doesn't wanna know who the winner is. Right, Gordo?
Gordo: Yeah... I-I love car races.
Sam McGuire: Really, Gordo? I had no idea that you were a racing nut. What are you into? NASCAR? Formula 1?
Gordo: All of them! NASCAR, Formula 1... Formula 2...

"Lizzie McGuire: Bunkies (#2.25)" (2003)
Sam McGuire: [after a pipe in Matt's room bursts, he has to sleep in Lizzie's room] Well where do you expect him to sleep Lizzie; to curl up on the floor?
Lizzie: Of course not on the floor, there's room in the closet.

"Lizzie McGuire: A Gordo Story (#2.26)" (2003)
Matt McGuire: Lanny's not talking to me.
Sam McGuire: How can you tell?

"Lizzie McGuire: First Kiss (#2.1)" (2002)
Matt: Well, Malina has the baseball card I want but she'll only give it to me if I meet her demands.
Sam McGuire: That's extortion.
Jo McGuire: That's brilliant.

"Lizzie McGuire: Gordo's Bar Mitzvah (#1.31)" (2002)
Jo McGuire: Hey, Mrs. Robinson...
[notices that Mrs. Robinson is holding Matt after his collar]
Jo McGuire: Matt, what did you do this time?
Matt McGuire: It's all a misunderstanding...
Mrs. Robinson: He was stealing oranges from my tree. Again!
Sam McGuire: Is this true, Matt?
Matt McGuire: Well, "stealing" is such a... strong word!

"Lizzie McGuire: My Dinner with Dig (#2.32)" (2003)
Lizzie McGuire: Okay, so even though Mr. Dig is my favorite sub, I should never have invited him to dinner. But since I did, you guys have to be on your best behavior.
Sam McGuire: Does it mean I shouldn't sing?
Jo McGuire: Oh, I love it when he sings!
Lizzie McGuire: Since when do you sing, Dad?
Sam McGuire: Well, rarely, because I'm always on my best behavior.

"Lizzie McGuire: Jack of All Trades (#1.6)" (2001)
Jo McGuire: Why do you want to be called "M-Dogg?"
Matt: Because there are four Matt's in my class.
Sam McGuire: I knew we should have named him "Dillon."
Matt: There are seven Dillons.

"Lizzie McGuire: Misadventures in Babysitting (#1.8)" (2001)
Lizzie: When will I be old enough to trust? When I'm 50?
Sam McGuire: Maybe. We'll see.

"Lizzie McGuire: Rise and Fall of Kate (#2.4)" (2002)
Sam McGuire: Are you sure we need to talk to him? He's just excited about the play.
Matt: [behind the door] Mirror, mirror on the wall; who's the greatest actor of them all?
Sam McGuire: After you.
Jo McGuire: After you.

"Lizzie McGuire: El Oro de Montezuma (#2.2)" (2002)
Lizzie McGuire: Mom, dad, can I ask you guys a question?
Jo McGuire: Sure.
Lizzie McGuire: Where did I come from?
Jo McGuire: Well, I'm from Wala Wala, Washington.
Sam McGuire: And I'm from Kalamazoo.
Lizzie McGuire: [animated Lizzie] Face it. My parents are aliens.
Lizzie McGuire: No, not like that. I mean where did our family come from.
Jo McGuire: I'm Polish, Swedish, French, Swiss, German, Hungarian and all the countries with heavy food. And you're what Scottish or Irish?

"Lizzie McGuire: Gordo's Video (#1.30)" (2002)
Matt McGuire: Hey, Dad! Do we have a blow torch?
Sam McGuire: Son, you're not jumping through a ring of fire.

"Lizzie McGuire: When Moms Attack (#1.3)" (2001)
Matt McGuire: Why can't I go camping?
Sam McGuire: We'll camp this weekend with your mom.
[Matt smiles]
Sam McGuire: In the house.
[the smile is quickly wiped off Matt's face]

"Lizzie McGuire: Movin' on Up (#2.17)" (2002)
Matt: Mom! Mom! She's our man, if she can't do it no one can! Go mom!
Sam McGuire: Hey, what about me? Where's my cheer?
Matt: Dad! Dad! He's our man, if he can't do it... Mom sure can! Go mom!

"Lizzie McGuire: Inner Beauty (#2.16)" (2002)
Jo McGuire: We'll have to encourage him. Artists are very sensitive.
Sam McGuire: Sensitive? Matt eats mud!

"Lizzie McGuire: Grubby Longjohn's Olde Tyme Revue (#2.27)" (2003)
Sam McGuire: C'mon, Gordo. It's 5:30, rise and shine!
Gordo: 5:30? You rise. You shine.
Lizzie: His parents told me he's really cranky in the mornings.
Gordo: I love the mornings. This is the middle of the night.

"Lizzie McGuire: Mom's Best Friend (#2.3)" (2002)
Sam McGuire: I'm sorry. You know, I think we all learned a lot from this.
Matt McGuire: Yep. You've learned to trust me more, and I've learned that you make great monkey bait.

"Lizzie McGuire: Rumors (#1.1)" (2001)
[after Matt's lizard dies]
Sam McGuire: You know, I swear that manual didn't say a thing about changing the water.
Jo McGuire: Whatever... murderer.

"Lizzie McGuire: Clue-Less (#2.23)" (2003)
Jo McGuire: That's it! I did it and I'd do it again. McGuffin promised to marry me, but he cheated on me. He cheated it all straights and he cheated on his taxes! He's a monster, a louser, and I'm glad he's dead. I'm happy about it don't you see? He's dead! He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead. I'm happy about it!
Sam McGuire: Honey, honey.
Jo McGuire: Wa-? Oh... well. Gordo caught me.

"Lizzie McGuire: Best Dressed for Much Less (#2.12)" (2002)
Sam McGuire: I remember Coco. She was hot.
Jo McGuire: She was not hot. She was just well dressed.

"Lizzie McGuire: Just Friends (#2.8)" (2002)
Jo McGuire: And since when did you become such an expert on teenage girls?
Sam McGuire: Well, I got dumped by enough of them. I got cut loose by every girl I ever liked.