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Quotes for
Miranda Sanchez (Character)
from "Lizzie McGuire" (2001)

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"Lizzie McGuire: Working Girl (#2.5)" (2002)
[Matt has just drunk about a dozen glasses of orange juice]
Miranda: You're hitting the juice a little hard there, aren't you, Matt?
Matt: You wouldn't understand. You see I need to talk to a girl but Lizzie's the only one I know and she's busy.
[Gordo and Miranda look a little surprised and confused. Gordo gestures to her]
Miranda: Uh, Matt? I'm a girl.
Matt: [realising] Hey! You are, aren't you?
Gordo: [sarcastically; points to Matt] Nothing gets past you, does it?

[Lizzie has got a job working as a "bus person" at the Digital Bean. She is very busy and has just snapped at Gordo for messing around with a ball]
Miranda: Guess we can't talk to the new workin' Lizzie.
[Matt comes in on his scooter]
Gordo: Probably not...
Gordo: ...but you've got the next best thing, your boyfriend!
Miranda: He is not my boyfriend!
[Gordo looks at Matt's new licence plate which reads I "heart sign" MRNDA]
Gordo: But he hearts you, MRNDA.

Gordo: I can't believe you're gonna break Matt's heart.
Miranda: You know what, you just want to keep this going for your own sick amusement.
Gordo: Well... yeah!

Melina Bianco: So, the rumour *is* true!
Matt: Hello, Melina.
Melina Bianco: [to Miranda] Listen, just because you can't find a guy your own age doesn't mean you can steal mine. You're just a rebound girl, so keep your distance, 'cause if anyone is gonna get Matt in trouble, it's gonna be me. Got it?
Matt: [delighted] You really *do* like me!
Melina Bianco: Let's go.
Matt: [to Miranda] Sorry things didn't work out.
Melina Bianco: *Now*!
Matt: Coming, my angel.
[Matt and Melina leave]
Miranda: [sarcastically] Well, that was really easy.
Gordo: You do realize you just got dumped by Matt?
Miranda: We're not talking about this ever again, especially to Lizzie!
Gordo: All right... rebound girl.
Miranda: That was talking about it!

Lizzie McGuire: I just hate running to them for every little thing...
Miranda: [notices the "busboy wanted" sign] Lizzie, you could get a job!
Lizzie McGuire: ...right at the mall, and I want a pair of jeans, I wanna buy them...
Miranda: Lizzie, you could get a job!
Lizzie McGuire: I need independence and freedom.
[Gordo also notices the "busboy" sign]
Lizzie McGuire: No, they won't let me have that...
Gordo: Lizzie, you could get a job!
[Miranda rolls her eyes]
Lizzie McGuire: A job? That's a great idea.
[Miranda now looks stated]
Lizzie McGuire: What a great idea, I could get a job!
[Miranda puts her head down her arms, completely resigned]
Lizzie McGuire: Oh, I'm sorry... What were you saying to me, Miranda?
Miranda: Huh? Oh, no, I think getting a job is a great idea.

Gordo: So, when do you start?
Lizzie McGuire: I start tomorrow.
Miranda: Oh. But I thought we were all supposed to hang out at the mall tomorrow.
Lizzie McGuire: Oh, well, we can hang here instead. It'll be fun.
Gordo: Are you sure? Uh, we don't wanna get you in trouble.
Lizzie McGuire: Oh, no, I think it'll be fine. Plus, I think I can swing for some free drinks for my friends.
Gordo: Free? Free is my favorite number.

Gordo: [after Miranda receives a card from Matt] I think Matt's over Melina.
Miranda: I know, I give such good advice.
Gordo: No, no. You're missing my point here. He's over Melina, 'cause he's got a crush on you.
Miranda: Please, this is Matt! He's just giving me a thank you card.
Gordo: Yeah.
[Miranda opens it and screams. The card shows pictures of them together]
Gordo: I hate being right all the time. So, when you and Matt get married, are you gonna move in here or are you gonna get an apartment, or... what?

Miranda: Gordo! Good, you're home. Matt's crush on me has gone really voodoo!
Gordo: Ah, isn't that great.
Miranda: No, it's horrible!
Gordo: Maybe for you, but for me it's endlessly entertaining.

Miranda: He just asked me out on a date!
Gordo: So I guess the "let's just be friends" thing didn't work.
Miranda: Oh... Gordo, what do I say?
Gordo: Well, if you don't do something quick, you're gonna be Mrs. Matt McGuire.

"Lizzie McGuire: Aaron Carter's Coming to Town (#1.7)" (2001)
[Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda are planning to sneak into the warehouse where Aaron Carter's video is being shot]
Lizzie: Remember, act like you own the place.
Miranda: [excited] Aaron Carter walked on this ground! I'm never wearing these shoes again!
[she takes off her shoes]
Gordo: That's not acting like you own the place!

Lizzie: [after falling over in the cafeteria and spill all her food] Forget lunch! Forget eating!
Miranda: The cafeteria food is not that bad.
Gordo: You know, you could save that stuff on your shirt for later.

Gordo: What's in the bag?
Matt McGuire: Do you guys have a plan?
Miranda: Yeah.
Matt McGuire: Then this is for when your plan fails.

Miranda: Aaron Carter walked this ground! I'm not wearing these shoes again.
[takes them off]
Gordo: This is not acting like we own the place.

Lizzie: Aaron Carter's personal pass?
Gordo: How are we gonna get Aaron Carter's personal pass?
Miranda: [holds it up] Aaron Carter's personal pass!
Gordo: Then I guess this must be Aaron Carter's dressing room. Again, this would be a lot more exciting if I was a thirteen-year-old girl.

"Lizzie McGuire: Rated Aargh (#1.18)" (2001)
[trying to sneak into the rated R movie "Vesuvious: The Eruption"]
Gordo: [whispers to Lizzie and Miranda] Talk like you've just seen the movie.
Gordo: The critics were right! Vesuvious explodes off the screen!
Miranda: Another triumph for Affleck! His love scenes are hotter than lava! Don't hail Ceasar, hail Oscar!
Lizzie: I liked the volcano!
Lizzie: [to Gordo and Miranda] What? I like volcanos!

Gordo: It's official. We're the only three kids in this school who haven't seen "Vesuvius: The Eruption".
Miranda: Duh. 'Cause it's rated R.
Lizzie: Besides, Gordo, since when do you care what other people do?
Gordo: I don't. I just wanna see the movie. An entire ancient city destroyed by lava. And...
Miranda: ...And Ben Affleck in a doomed love affair.
Lizzie: I know, you're right. It's like the best movie ever made. Why does it have to be rated R?
Gordo: Because of adult situations, mild violence and brief nudity.

Sam McGuire: [about the "miniature golf"] Who won?
[the kids speak at the same time]
Lizzie: Gordo.
Miranda: Lizzie.
Gordo: Miranda.

Miranda: So, I'm grounded for a week. How about you guys?
Gordo: Two weeks. Plus, I have to write a ten page paper on responsibility.

Miranda: [walking over to Lizzie, who is putting her notebooks in her locker, with Gordo] Hey.
Lizzie: [turns; closes locker] Oh, hey. I was thinking since we can't go to the movie this weekend, we should go to Mount Rushmore mini golf.
[Gordo makes a face with a sound effect]
Miranda: Miniature golf? Is that the dorkiest thing you can think of? How about the sci-fi convention?
Lizzie: [defiant] Hey, I like miniature golf, okay? You're just still mad about your fourth-grade birthday party when I set the course record for the windmill.
[pictures with sound effect ensue]
Larry Tudgeman: [walking with friend toward the friends' direction] I can't believe I'm saying this, but Vesuvius is actually better than Star Wars.
[turns to his locker]
Friend: I've seen it four times. And I still can't figure out how they do that thing with the lava.
Larry Tudgeman: [looks sideways with a sly look on his face] I'm not watching the lava. I'm watchin' the slave girls.
Friend: Yeahhhhh.
[Larry then turns to Lizzie]
Larry Tudgeman: Ooooh, Lizzie.
[growls; Lizzie is grossed out]
Gordo: Okay, new plan. We tell our parents we're going miniature golfing when instead, we go and see Vesuvius.
Lizzie: [incredulous] Okay, so you're telling me to lie to my parents?
Gordo: No, I'm asking you to make a last-minute change in plans in advance.
Miranda: Mmmhmmm. That sounds reasonable to me.
Lizzie: [slight nod, haltingly] Okay. I'll try. But I don't think it's gonna work.

"Lizzie McGuire: First Kiss (#2.1)" (2002)
Gordo: I guess I never thought about what it would be like when Lizzie had a boyfriend.
Miranda: What are you... jealous?
Gordo: What? No, no, no, no. Wrong road. I was trying to identify a different emotion... not jealousy...
[Miranda walks to class]
Gordo: I think.

Lizzie: [talking to her boyfriend, Ronnie on the phone] No, you hang up first, you first...
[Miranda clicks the phone off and Lizzie says to Miranda]
Lizzie: HEY!
Miranda: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were talking to me!

Miranda: [as she puts a cookie on her notebook] Lizzie, this is your brain... and this is your brain...
[Miranda smashes the cookie]
Miranda: ON RONNIE!

"Lizzie McGuire: Lizzie Strikes Out (#1.21)" (2001)
Miranda: I think it is time for Phase Two.
Gordo: Does Phase Two involve cookies?

Miranda: Wow! I can't believe I'm gonna help you. This is a first.
Gordo: Believe me. There's no one more surprised than me.

Gordo: Gutterball!
Miranda: Yeah!
Gordo: Adorable!
Miranda: The worst I've ever seen!
[they hug]
Gordo: Oh, thank you, Miranda! I couldn't stink so bad without you.

"Lizzie McGuire: I've Got Rhythmic (#1.5)" (2001)
[Lizzie was asked to represent the school at a rhythmic gymnastics meet. She was reluctant at first until Gordo and Miranda convinced her to do it but for their own reasons]
Gordo: We can't push Lizzie into doing something shameful just because I want to make a documentary and you want to one-up Kate.
Miranda: We can't?
[Gordo gives her a disapproving look]
Miranda: Okay. We can't. You're right.
[they sit down on the grass]
Gordo: Being humiliated during puberty can have deep and lasting psychological consequences.
Miranda: [smiles] You've been into your dad's shrink files again, haven't you?
Gordo: His Tuesday at 3:30 is *really* scary!
[she laughs and shakes her head]

Lizzie McGuire: English test grades are up.
Miranda: Another B?
Lizzie McGuire: What else?
[Gordo turns his camera from Miranda to her]
Lizzie McGuire: I'm so sick of getting B's! I want an A at something.
Gordo: You can be an actress. You look pretty good through the camera.
Lizzie McGuire: You think?
Gordo: Sure.
[Lizzie takes a pirouette in front of camera]
Miranda: Cool.
[Lizzie stumbles on her bag and falls over]
Gordo: Or a stunt woman.

Miranda: Woah! You look like Neve Campbell at the end of "Scream".
Lizzie McGuire: Which is pretty good, compared to how I feel.

"Lizzie McGuire: Rise and Fall of Kate (#2.4)" (2002)
Miranda Sanchez: So the word is Kate dislocated her shoulder.
Gordo: That'll take her out of cheerleading for a month, thanks to Sabrina the teenage witch.
[points to Lizzie]

Lizzie McGuire: I hate this! Claire is ten times worse than Kate.
Miranda Sanchez: I know, it's like, "Kate: The Sequel".
Gordo: Yeah, like one of those monster movies where you think you've just destroyed the monster, but it wasn't really the monster. It was just the baby monster, and then the monster mom comes back and she is not happy.

Kate Sanders: Why do you guys wanna help me?
Lizzie McGuire: 'Cause everybody needs a friend, Kate.
Miranda Sanchez: And you obviously don't have any.
Gordo: And we don't wanna be them, so we gotta get your old ones back.

"Lizzie McGuire: Party Over Here (#2.18)" (2002)
Lizzie McGuire: I would not go to this party if it was the last party on Earth.
Student: Last year, she gave us cell phones in the goodie-bags.
Lizzie McGuire: [screams lowly, suddenly excited] I am so there!
Miranda Sanchez: Uh, me too!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Wait, did that include long distance?
Student: Duh!

Lizzie McGuire: She started with my full name and ended with: "Why can't you just enjoy your childhood?" Fill in the blanks.
Miranda Sanchez: Uh! My mom gave me: "I don't agree with Kate's mom on how to raise children." Raise! Like we're chickens or something!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: My mom said it was okay.
Lizzie McGuire, Miranda Sanchez: Uh, what?
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Uh, it's depressing, really. You know, my parents think I'm so good I can never get into trouble?
Miranda Sanchez: Yes!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I can make trouble! I have a dark side.
[Lizzie smiles skeptically]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I can disrespect the common areas. I can act with outregard for the safety of others! Hm-m.
[throws his soda can backwards, high up the air. It lands on a student's head]
Student: Ow!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Oh, oh! I'm so sorry!
[turns to Lizzie and Miranda, who are beyond surprised]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Sorry, yet bad.
[turns back to the student]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Here, let me get you a towel!
[tries to wipe the student's head with the towel, but the student escapes]

David 'Gordo' Gordon: What's the plan?
Miranda Sanchez: YOUR plan is your parents take you to the party that you're allowed to go to.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Oh, but that's where you're wrong. See, I told my parents that I wasn't going to the party tonight. In fact, they think I'm at Miranda's house. But I'm not. I'm here. Wanna know why?
[does a fancy move]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: 'Cause I'm BAD.
[Lizzie laughs]
Miranda Sanchez: We'll see you at the party, Gordo.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Oh, you're not getting rid of me that easily. 'Cause I'm all about the plan tonight. You wanna know why?
[does the fancy move]
Miranda Sanchez: [before Gordo can say anything] Yeah, Gordo. You're BAD.

"Lizzie McGuire: Best Dressed for Much Less (#2.12)" (2002)
Miranda Sanchez: I don't feel like "Most..." anything.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: That's what Kate wants you to think. So that you'll never even try. It's a way of maintaining the "status quo".
Lizzie McGuire: "Status quo"?
David 'Gordo' Gordon: It means Kate wants to keep things the way they are.
Miranda Sanchez: Why didn't you just say that?
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I did.

David 'Gordo' Gordon: All you have to do is be better dressed than Kate and Claire for this one day.
Miranda Sanchez: And win "Best dressed"! You can break the "status cow"!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: "Quo".
Miranda Sanchez: Whatever!

Lizzie McGuire: I don't have enough money to buy the pants in the first place.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Well, how much are they?
Lizzie McGuire: Well, sixty-five dollars, but I've only saved up ten.
Miranda Sanchez: Well, I got thirty dollars for my birthday.
[they both look at Gordo, who walks a few steps before stopping]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: [pauses] Fine, I've got thirty dollars too.

"Lizzie McGuire: Gordo's Bar Mitzvah (#1.31)" (2002)
[Talking about never growing up]
Miranda: Oh, like Peter Pan! Clap if you believe!

Lizzie McGuire: Must be something in the water. I mean, first Ethan, now Larry...
Miranda: You're not actually gonna use Ethan and Larry in the same sentence, are you?
David 'Gordo' Gordon: You just did.
[Miranda looks resigned]

"Lizzie McGuire: Jack of All Trades (#1.6)" (2001)
Miranda: [to Gordo] Everyone knows that you're the Tiger Woods of term papers.

[Gordo and Miranda are discussing why their science teacher, Mr. Pettus, seemingly hates him]
Miranda: Did he ever find out that you put that dead frog in his pocket?
Gordo: It was alive when I put it there!

"Lizzie McGuire: Misadventures in Babysitting (#1.8)" (2001)
Gordo: [looking at Kate] Well, I guess Kate sorta does give off a sort some... visual signals which imply a biological nurturing capability...
Miranda: We get it, Gordo. She's stacked.
Gordo: Yes, yes she is.

Lizzie: Matt, go upstairs, change your shirt and get cleaned up. Now!
Matt McGuire: No!
Miranda: See?
Lizzie: Zip it!
Miranda: Why should I? He won't!
Lizzie: Matt. Starting right now, you do everything I tell you! Or I'll tell Mom and Dad.
Matt McGuire: Na-ah. You want Mom and Dad to think you're a good babysitter. So you're gonna say things went great.
Lizzie: Then I'll squash you like a bug instead!
Matt McGuire: Then I'll tell Mom and Dad. Face it, I'm in charge here.
Lizzie: No. I am in charge here!
Gordo: Matt, what do you say we go upstairs and find you a clean shirt.
Matt McGuire: Okay.

"Lizzie McGuire: The Untitled Stan Jansen Project (#1.22)" (2001)
Gordo: [to Lizzie and Miranda] You guys have been keeping stuff from me? Like what? Tell me!
Miranda: Oh, like when Lizzie had a crush on you in fourth grade?
Gordo: [to Lizzie] You did?
[to Miranda]
Gordo: She did?

Miranda: [after Stan Jansen talks to Gordo] Gow did you do that?
Gordo: I don't know.
Lizzie: Yeah, Gordo. Looks like you are the King Kong of this monkey house.

"Lizzie McGuire: Bad Girl McGuire (#1.11)" (2001)
Miranda: [sarcastically] Great. A pop quiz.
Gordo: [sincerely and excitedly] Great! A pop quiz! I love the smell of pop quizzes in the morning!
Angel Lieberman: What planet are you from again, Gor-dork?

Miranda: [to Gordo] Where is Lizzie? She never misses lunch. It's her favorite class!

"Lizzie McGuire: Facts of Life (#1.25)" (2001)
Gordo: [to Mr. Dig] I think we should study the old-fashioned way, you know, where you read books and memorize facts.
Miranda: Where you turn into an old, worried man at 13?
Gordo: I am not an old man!
[he gets a chair to sit down and accidentally hurts his back when he leans down]

Gordo: Sorry I'm late, I was getting you guys some doughnuts.
Miranda: So, where are they?
Gordo: Oh, I ate them.

"Lizzie McGuire: Gordo and the Dwarves (#1.27)" (2001)
Lizzie McGuire: We just don't want you to play "Dwarflord" anymore. Okay? It's taken over your life.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: It has not.
Miranda Sanchez: Uh, has so!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I sware on the sacred shield of O.N. Thundereater, it has not!
[Lizzie and Miranda look at him]
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Alright, maybe that didn't sound so good.

Miranda Sanchez: [yelling into Gordo's ear] Dwarflord!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Ow!
Miranda Sanchez: Just checking.

"Lizzie McGuire: Obsession (#1.16)" (2001)
Lizzie McGuire: [about Miranda's jacket] It's leather. Leather is cow, cow is meat! I don't eat meat.
Miranda Sanchez: Fine! So don't eat my jacket.

Miranda Sanchez: Lizzie, you're totally overreacting!
Lizzie McGuire: I'm overreacting? Tell me that I'm overreacting when the garbage builds up so high that it blocks out all the sunlight, and we freeze.
Miranda Sanchez: Yeah? Well, at least I'll have my jacket to keep me warm!

"Lizzie McGuire: Gordo and the Girl (#1.19)" (2001)
Miranda Sanchez: Does he honestly think we don't know? We saw them kissing!
Lizzie McGuire: Maybe they were just talking really close.
Miranda Sanchez: That wasn't talking.
Lizzie McGuire: Maybe she had a smudge on her mouth, or something...
Miranda Sanchez: That he was trying to get off with his lips?

Lizzie McGuire: This is the longest I've ever gone without talking to Gordo since he deliberately smushed my brownie in the third grade.
Miranda Sanchez: How long did the fight last then?
Lizzie McGuire: Until the bus ride home.

"Lizzie McGuire: Those Freaky McGuires (#2.9)" (2002)
Miranda Sanchez: [noticing Lizzie's/Matt's clothing] Lizzie! What are you? I mean, how can you?
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I think what Miranda's trying to say is what... what were you thinking when you got dressed this morning? You look like Elton John!
Lizzie McGuire: [as Matt in Lizzie's body] That's SIR Elton John!

David 'Gordo' Gordon: [after Kate pulls a stunt on Lizzie/Matt] Are you okay?
Lizzie McGuire: [as Matt in Lizzie's body] I seem to be spending a lot of time on the ground.
Miranda Sanchez: Yeah, but Kate just made you look like a total idiot!
Lizzie McGuire: [as Matt in Lizzie's body] Oh, that's fine. She has no idea who she's dealing with.

"Lizzie McGuire: Picture Day (#1.2)" (2001)
Miranda: [about Lizzie's sweater] That's not "Oops, I Did It Again", that's just "Oops"!

Kate Sanders: [when Kate and Miranda have on the same outfit] You aren't wearing that.
Miranda: Oh, really? It feels like... I *am*!

"Lizzie McGuire: Lizzie in the Middle (#2.15)" (2002)
Miranda Sanchez: Hey, everyone! It's Frankie, he's getting away!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I hate Lizzie.

Miranda Sanchez: So how was your summer?
Frankie Muniz: Well, I finished my series, read a few movie scripts, and bought a car. How 'bout you guys?
Lizzie: Um... Well, I-I... Um...
Miranda Sanchez: Well, I started to, uh...
David 'Gordo' Gordon: I broke my toe!

"Lizzie McGuire: And the Winner Is (#2.6)" (2002)
Larry Tudgeman: I love it when you're angry!
Miranda Sanchez: [pushing Larry away] 2 feet!

Miranda Sanchez: So... No A?
Lizzie: No A.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Well, that's okay. 'Cause there's no A in friendship! Though, Ethan thought there was.
[Lizzie and Miranda laugh]

"Lizzie McGuire: A Gordo Story (#2.26)" (2003)
David 'Gordo' Gordon: You guys are part of the problem, you know. You buy into the whole tall guy thing. And look at who you have a crush on - Ethan Craft!
Miranda Sanchez: We don't like him because he's tall!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Why, then? Because he's smart?

"Lizzie McGuire: Night of the Day of the Dead (#1.24)" (2001)
Kate Sanders: [locking themselves in the janitor's closet] Okay, Lizzie is WAY out of line.
Miranda Sanchez: She's not Lizzie right now! The spirits of the dead have taken over her body!
Lizzie: [banging on door, demonic voice] Kate! Kaaaate!
Miranda Sanchez: And they're using Lizzie for, for revenge. They're mad because you called the Day of the Dead artifacts stupid, and shoved them off a little corner!
Kate Sanders: Dumb Kate, dumb, dumb!
Lizzie: [rattles door] Kaaaate!
Kate Sanders: Can't we stop her?
Miranda Sanchez: I think I remember my grandmother talking about ways to beg the spirits for forgiveness. We need a handful of cemetery dirt and a bucket full of blood.

"Lizzie McGuire: Random Acts of Miranda (#1.14)" (2001)
Miranda Sanchez: Can't you talk some sense into him Tudgeman?
Larry Tudgeman: Um, I'm Stinko.
Miranda Sanchez: Oh, can't you talk some sense into him Stinko!

"Lizzie McGuire: Just One of the Guys (#2.33)" (2003)
Miranda Sanchez: They're gonna think of her as a guy girl!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: You know what? I don't think she cares what they think. And I think that's pretty cool.

"Lizzie McGuire: My Dinner with Dig (#2.32)" (2003)
Lizzie McGuire: This is not helping, you guys.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: This situation is beyond help.
Miranda Sanchez: Yeah, we are pretty much doomed.

"Lizzie McGuire: Lizzie's Nightmares (#1.15)" (2001)
Lizzie: I've made a decision. I'm not going to let my little brother ruin what's otherwise the greatest day of my entire life.
Gordo: What's so great about it?
Lizzie: Tell him, Miranda.
Miranda: Two words, Gordo.
Gordo: If you say "Ethan Craft," I swear I'm gonna hurl!
Miranda: Fine. In that case, I'll say one word: "lunch."
[Gordo pretends to start vomiting. Lizzie and Miranda walk off. Gordo just shakes his head]

"Lizzie McGuire: I Do, I Don't (#1.10)" (2001)
Gordo: [on the phone with the girls] My trash empire could have been something big.
[the girls snort and hang up on him]
Gordo: Hello? Hello?
Lizzie, Miranda Sanchez: Guys.
Gordo: Chicks.

"Lizzie McGuire: You're a Good Man, Lizzie McGuire (#2.13)" (2002)
[Lizzie is hiding a decapitated school statue]
Miranda Sanchez: Why don't you tell them Kate broke it?
Elizabeth Brooke "Lizzie" McGuire: Because middle school doesn't have a witness protection program.

"Lizzie McGuire: Scarlett Larry (#1.26)" (2001)
Miranda Sanchez: Have you lost your mind? She can't go out with Larry Tudgeman. Tudgeman!
Lizzie McGuire: Miranda, it's just one dumb date!
David 'Gordo' Gordon: One dumb date for Lizzie, but it's one giant date for every boy who has ever been dissed by a girl.

"Lizzie McGuire: The Greatest Crush of All (#2.28)" (2003)
Lizzie McGuire: Did you hear that, Miranda? He was afraid I wasn't gonna make it.
Miranda Sanchez: Yeah. Big - whoop.

"Lizzie McGuire: Between a Rock and a Bra Place (#1.12)" (2001)
[the gang are talking on the phone]
Lizzie: I can't believe you spent all afternoon with Matt and my dad.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Hey, Matt and your dad are pretty cool. We made a kung fu movie, and considering the alternative, I'd say it was a good choice.
Lizzie: Well, I don't think we'll have any girl only shopping trips for quite a while.
Miranda Sanchez: Yeah, Gordo, it's safe to go with us to the mall again.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Cool. But when you start talking about shopping for school supplies, let me know when you mean school supplies or... school... supplies.
[Lizzie and Miranda laughs]

"Lizzie McGuire: Gordo's Video (#1.30)" (2002)
Miranda Sanchez: Why don't they just set up a big sign in this school that says: "Loser Farm" and be done with it? Everyone looks up to the jocks and the cheerleaders. We're a bunch of stuck up dirts! We're gonna end up working at the drive through at Burglar Button. I mean, it's this whole place! It's the way people say one thing to your face, and another behind your back. It's the way that the cafeteria serves us like circus animals. I just get the feeling that nobody's being honest here, that everybody's afraid to let everybody else know the truth about them. Let's face it... It's a school full of fakes. But it's not so bad if you've got really great friends.

"Lizzie McGuire: In Miranda Lizzie Does Not Trust (#2.10)" (2002)
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Give it time. I'm sure it'll blow over. I'm sure everything's gonna be cool.
Miranda Sanchez: [comes in] Mr. Dig? I'd like another partner, please.
Lizzie McGuire: [to Gordo] You know, for a smart guy, you sure get a lot of stuff wrong.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do.

"Lizzie McGuire: Inner Beauty (#2.16)" (2002)
Miranda: How come no one ever told me I had, like, six chins!
Lizzie: Because you only have one?

"Lizzie McGuire: Grubby Longjohn's Olde Tyme Revue (#2.27)" (2003)
Lizzie: We have to enjoy ourselves.
Miranda Sanchez: Why?
Gordo: But more importantly... How?

"Lizzie McGuire: Over the Hill (#2.11)" (2002)
Lizzie McGuire: You've got your movies, and you've got your music. You guys are set for the rest of your lives.
Miranda Sanchez: The rest of our lives? Lizzie, I may never be a professional musician.
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Exactly. She may never be a professional musician.
Miranda Sanchez: No! You're supposed to say: "I may never be a professional director."
David 'Gordo' Gordon: Are we here to talk crazy, or are we here to help Lizzie?

"Lizzie McGuire: Just Friends (#2.8)" (2002)
Miranda: All parents want to do is poke holes in things. You know, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke... *poke*!