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: Man, take it easy, and if she's easy, take her twice.
: Oh, yeah, nice from a far, but far from nice.
: You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name. Matthew
: [pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs
] What the hell is that? Rod
: It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pounds.
: But check it out, this penile power thing, it's going to help me you know, increase my libido, help me maintain a full, firm erection and it's gonna help me control my ejaculation baby, so I'm going to be going all night long.
: You know, all you gotta do is find the matching bra to those panties and bam! Mystery solved! Matthew
: That's not a half bad idea. Rod
: What are you? A Wyllie E. Coyote super genius or something? Matthew
: Yeah. Something like that. Rod
: Wait, the Coyote never caught the Roadrunner.
: [to Matthew
] Do you have any suspects yet?
: So what are you gonna do about this girl, huh? Matthew
: You know what, she left these
[handing Rod a pair of panties
: Let me see them.
: I don't recognize this one. Matthew
: Hey, give them back.
: Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction. Rod
: What do you mean? Matthew
: Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye! It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men. Rod
: Wow. That's profound. Matthew
: And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have...
[Rod starts cleaning his ears with his car keys
: ...like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis... it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin... Rod
: Hey, get that outta here! It freaks me out, ok? Matthew
: I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh. Rod
: Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby!
: You're never gonna get in that virgin vault man. They don't let boys on the girl's side.