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Quotes for
Reni Wassulmaier (Character)
from Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (2005) (VG)

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Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (2006) (VG)
Reni Wassulmaier: You mean, he doesn't know?
Barry: Uh, no. And let's keep it that way.
Reni Wassulmaier: Of course. He's an artist. The pressure could kill him. I mean, I perform well knowing people want to drill me full of holes. But I am unique, darling.

Victor 'Vic' Vance: Look, I'm in this to make money for my brother. I don't have time to waste.
Reni Wassulmaier: Darling, that is beautiful. One day, I will make a film like that. Two bothers. One is a dog. The other, a librarian. Love blossoms between a man and a pig. Three swans die. The end. Genius!

Reni Wassulmaier: So now, I must go to Dr. Horowitz. He's a genius! Tomorrow, new Reni!
Victor 'Vic' Vance: You're not having another sex change?
Reni Wassulmaier: I only have three.

Mendez's Henchman: You're gonna die, you freak of nature!
Reni Wassulmaier: Freak? I'm an artist. I'm sensitive... And I'm gonna kill all of you fucking filthy fuckers!

Reni Wassulmaier: [Vic and Reni are being shot at by Mendez's men] All this macho bullshit... I'll be glad when I'm a woman.
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Keep your head down!
Reni Wassulmaier: In your lap, darling?
Victor 'Vic' Vance: On second thought, keep shooting!

Reni Wassulmaier: [Reni's had a sex-change operation] Vic, darling! How do I look?
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Uh... Different?

Victor 'Vic' Vance: So, you're really leaving?
Reni Wassulmaier: I have no choice, darling. Diego will never stop looking for me. Once you've been with Reni, nothing compares. Besides, I'm through with advertising. It's so morally bankrupt. I'm going to Europe to conquer the exotic adult movie business.
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Europeans like women with big hands and stubble?
Reni Wassulmaier: Of course. We are more sophisticated that you Americans, darling.

Victor 'Vic' Vance: I'm looking for someone called Reni.
[Frankie points out Reni, who raises his/her arms]
Frankie: Ta-daa.
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Uh, yeah... Spitz said you might want something?
Reni Wassulmaier: Something? Ah! Cocaine! Darling, I want cocaine! Mummy wants some snort and she wants it now! You must be the cocaine man. Frankie, the cocaine man is here!
[Reni and Frankie both jump excitedly]
Victor 'Vic' Vance: [sarcastically] Hey! You think you can say it any louder? I don't think they heard you in Cuba.
Reni Wassulmaier: Oh, you fucking square. It's only a bit of snow. It's nineteen-eighty-fucking-four, darling. Everyone is on cocaine!
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Whatever you say, mister... uh... lady... err...
Reni Wassulmaier: Oh, darling, I'm a little bit of everything. I'm universal. Reni Wassulmaier. But you, angel, you're unique. Can I film you undressing?

[Reni introduces Vic and Barry to each other.]
Reni Wassulmaier: Darling, this is darling. Darling, darling. Wunderbar. So now we are acquainted, no? Who wants to oompah?
Victor 'Vic' Vance: [to Barry] Uh, I'm Vic.
Barry: Alright? Barry, mate.

Victor 'Vic' Vance: Reni, hey, what's wrong?
Reni Wassulmaier: Darling, he wants me dead!
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Who?
Reni Wassulmaier: Diego Mendez, that's who.
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Why?
Reni Wassulmaier: Because I put you in contact with Ricardo Diaz; said it was disloyal of me. Not as disloyal as him two-timing me with that tramp.
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Whoa, wait, you guys were an item?
Reni Wassulmaier: Yes, but I could not deal with him. He talked too much. Beat me, Reni. Spank me, Reni. Blow coke up my ass, Reni. It was too goddamn much.
Victor 'Vic' Vance: [laughs] Diego Mendez?
Victor 'Vic' Vance: Jeez...
Reni Wassulmaier: So now I must go to Dr. Horowitz. He's a genius. Tomorrow, new Reni!
Victor 'Vic' Vance: [sighs] You're not having another sex change?
Reni Wassulmaier: I only have three.