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: The sooner you get I know what I'm talking about, and I'm on your side, the sooner your world gets better.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
: But I am not satisfied. Indeed, Leo, I am close to taking my own life with a wheat thresher Leo McGarry
: Bruno. Bruno Gianelli
: Yeah, uh, listen up. I-I've been thinking. It might not be such a bad idea to lock you all in here and set the place on fire. We have forty-eight hours before we kick off this campaign. We will all work Hard, we will all work well, and we will all work together, or, so help me, Mother of God, I will stick a pitchfork so far up your asses, you will quite simply be dead. President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
: And so, with pride and purpose, I hereby announce my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States.
: You may not get an answer today, okay? I don't want to give him too much knucklehead stuff. Bruno Gianelli
: Every time you say something like that, I buy canned goods.
: The CEQ is waiting for me down the hall Bruno Gianelli
: Two precinct captains in Iowa want jobs in Commerce Leo McGarry
: What do you think? Bruno Gianelli
: I don't care, but, Andrew Jackson said, If there's a job that can't be done by a democrat, let's abolish the job. Leo McGarry
: These are direct mail leaflets. "Bartlet: Hopelessly Liberal." "Bartlet: Super-Liberal." "Bartlet: Liberal, Liberal, Liberal." Sam Seaborn
: These aren't coming from our side, right?
: Why are you so bent on countering these idiot leaflets? Bruno Gianelli
: Because I'm tired of working for candidates who make me think that I should be embarrassed to believe what I believe, Sam! I'm tired of getting them elected! We all need some therapy, because somebody came along and said, "'Liberal' means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense, and we're gonna tax you back to the Stone Age because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to!" And instead of saying, "Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave It To Beaver trip back to the Fifties...!", we cowered in the corner, and said, "Please. Don't. Hurt. Me." No more. I really don't care who's right, who's wrong. We're both right. We're both wrong. Let's have two parties, huh? What do you say?
: [quoting a radio show host
] "This is another sign that Abbey Bartlet is a liberal elitist feminist." Bruno Gianelli
: Elitist feminist? You can't do that to the English language.
: [after hearing the President give a inspiring speech
] When did you write that last part? Sam Seaborn
: In the car. Bruno Gianelli
: Man, you have got a killer body. Do you know that? C.J. Cregg
: In fact, I do.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg
: In a poll taken three days after the MS announcement, the President lost to Ritchie by nine points. He won by 11. You did it. Bruno Gianelli
: It helps when you cook with the right food.
: Know what I hate about Jane? She's not always wrong.