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: [speaking to outgoing President Bartlet, about his delay and indecision on pardoning Toby Zeigler
] You *do* realize you turn into a pumpkin at noon?
: [briefing Ronna on her duties
] Your most important job is keeping track of who's going in and out of the oval office. The first thing you'll need to do is establish who'll have walk-in privileges. Usually it's just the First Lady and the Chief of Staff. At some point the President is going to ask you to take away his wife's walk-in privileges... don't do it. No matter how much he begs.
: Good morning, Mr. President. President Josiah Bartlet
: Morning. Deborah Fiderer
: How do you feel this morning? President Josiah Bartlet
: Unemployed. Deborah Fiderer
: A lot of that going around the building.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
: Why did you leave the White House? Deborah Fiderer
: Well, Mr. President, if you wanna talk about getting screwed with your pants on... President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
: Charlie! Deborah Fiderer
: ...I guess I... I got pretty... pretty well doinked.
: Before your next job interview with the President, I'm gonna remind you that you probably don't wanna be stoned. Deborah Fiderer
: There's gonna be a second interview? Charlie Young
: There's gonna be as many as it takes. We're gonna get this right. Deborah Fiderer
: Well, let me back you up a second. Have we done the first one yet?
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet
: [Deborah has told the President he only has 15 minutes
] DEBBIE! Deborah Fiderer
: 38 seconds. Not bad commander. President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet
: I'm going to need the Russian Ambassador, the Chinese Ambassador, and my wife. Probably not in that order.
: Mr. President? President Josiah Bartlet
: Mrs. Hottentot? Deborah Fiderer
: Toby and Charlie... President Josiah Bartlet
: Yeah, where are they? Deborah Fiderer
: They're being held. President Josiah Bartlet
: What do you mean? Deborah Fiderer
: Toby and Charlie are under arrest. There was an incident at a bar. President Josiah Bartlet
: They're under arrest? Deborah Fiderer
: Yes sir President Josiah Bartlet
: Did they rob the bar? Deborah Fiderer
: No, sir. A patron was jostling Congresswoman Wyatt and Toby tried to get him to step back, and the man slipped on the floor. And then the man's friend lunged for Toby. President Josiah Bartlet
: Uh-huh. And what did Charlie do? Deborah Fiderer
: He hit him. Josh Lyman
: Sir. President Josiah Bartlet
: Toby and Charlie were arrested in a bar fight. Josh Lyman
: Yes, sir, it's not going to be a problem. C.J.'s taking care of it. President Josiah Bartlet
: Really? Josh Lyman
: It's going to be a little bit of a problem. President Josiah Bartlet
: Everytime we come to Southern California we are absolutely the Clampetts.