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Quotes for
Percy Fitzwallace (Character)
from "The West Wing" (1999)

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"The West Wing: 20 Hours in America: Part II (#4.2)" (2002)
Nancy McNally: Leo.
Leo McGarry: Nancy.
Nancy McNally: Yeoman Fitzwallace
Percy Fitzwallace: Dr. McNally
Nancy McNally: Let's attack.
Leo McGarry: Who?
Nancy McNally: Qumar. Let's recommend to the President that we attack.
Leo McGarry: Why?
Nancy McNally: 'Cause I've had it!
Percy Fitzwallace: I don't think the UN is going to let us do it for that reason.
Nancy McNally: That's 'cause you're a sissy. You want peace in the Middle East? Give me a pair of third generation ICBMs and a compass. You got B-2 Spirit stealth bombers over Qumar right now, as if the Qumari Air Defense System requires stealth capability. Just fly in at night and while you're at it could you order the USS Louisiana to fire off a D-5 Trident just to see if it works? What's the worst that could happen?
Percy Fitzwallace: Is she talking to me?
Nancy McNally: Yes!
Percy Fitzwallace: Well 98% of all living organisms within a seven mile radius would die instantly in a torrent of fire.
Nancy McNally: Admiral Sissymary...

Josiah Bartlet: The happy fun group.
Leo McGarry: We have reason to believe that in the next 48 hours the Qumari rescue team will announce that they've recovered a military-issue Israeli-made parachute.
Josiah Bartlet: They're just allowed to make things up now?
Nancy McNally: As long as we won't step up and say it was us, they do.
Josiah Bartlet: They know it was us, right?
Leo McGarry: Yeah.
Josiah Bartlet: Is that what you think we should do?
Nancy McNally: Me?
Josiah Bartlet: Yeah.
Nancy McNally: No, I don't. I am, however, beginning to lean towards reducing our nuclear arsenal one at a time if you know what I mean, sir.
Josiah Bartlet: What about you?
Percy Fitzwallace: Well, I'm with Dr. Strangelove on keeping our military secrets secret.


"The West Wing: We Killed Yamamoto (#3.21)" (2002)
Leo McGarry: This is always when you say something.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Nah. nah. Have you changed shampoo? You have, I can tell. 'Cause your hair seems bouncy and more manageable.
Leo McGarry: I like to look good for you.

Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Can you tell when it's peacetime and wartime anymore?
Leo McGarry: No.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: I don't know who the world's leading expert on warfare is, but any list of the top has got to include me, and I can't tell when it's peacetime and wartime anymore.


"The West Wing: A Proportional Response (#1.3)" (1999)
[during a military situation]
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You know what I was just thinking?
Officer #1: What's that, Admiral?
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: This is different coffee than we usually have.

Leo McGarry: The President's personal aide. They're looking at a kid. You have any problem with a young black man waiting on the President?
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: I'm an old black man and I wait on the President.
Leo McGarry: The kid's got to carry his bags and...
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You going to pay him a decent wage?
Leo McGarry: Yeah.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You going to treat him with respect in the workplace?
Leo McGarry: Yeah.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Then why the hell should I care?
Leo McGarry: That's what I thought.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: I got some real honest-to-god battles to fight, Leo. I don't have time for the cosmetic ones.


"The West Wing: What Kind of Day Has It Been (#1.22)" (2000)
Percy Fitzwallace: The eagle... on the seal in the carpet. In one talon he's holding arrows and in the other an olive branch. Most of the time, the eagle is facing the olive branch, but when congress declares war, the eagle faces the arrows. How do they do that? Do you think they've got a second carpet sitting around in the basement someplace?


"The West Wing: Lord John Marbury (#1.11)" (2000)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: All I'm trying to do right now? I'm trying to avoid making eye contact with the CIA Director.
George Rollie: Mr. President...
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Three hundred thousand troops? I can't move my motorcade from K Street to Connecticut without it showing up on a weather satellite!
George Rollie: We dropped the ball, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Pick it up again - would you please?
George Rollie: Yes, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Any chance this is an exercise?
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: No, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: A threat gesture?
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Possibly.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Any nuclear activity?
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: We don't know, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. That's probably not important information.


"The West Wing: Gaza (#5.21)" (2004)
Percy Fitzwallace: What do Photographers say in the digital age now that the'Come up and see my darkroom' line has gone the way of the Dodo?
Donna Moss: They offer their high speed...
[roadside bomb explodes next to the car]


"The West Wing: Let Bartlet Be Bartlet (#1.19)" (2000)
Major Tate: Sir, we're not prejudiced toward homosexuals.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You just don't want to see them serving in the Armed Forces?
Major Tate: No sir, I don't.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: 'Cause they impose a threat to unit discipline and cohesion.
Major Tate: Yes, sir.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: That's what I think, too. I also think the military wasn't designed to be an instrument of social change.
Major Tate: Yes, sir.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: The problem with that is that's what they were saying about me 50 years ago - blacks shouldn't serve with whites. It would disrupt the unit. You know what? It did disrupt the unit. The unit got over it. The unit changed. I'm an admiral in the U.S. Navy and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff... Beat that with a stick.


"The West Wing: College Kids (#4.3)" (2002)
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Claudia Jean.
C.J. Cregg: Sailor...


"The West Wing: Arctic Radar (#4.10)" (2002)
Josh Lyman: [about Navy pilot Vicky Hilton] I guess also, the thing is, that she isn't just any pilot. She's like Jackie Robinson - she's busted a lot of barriers. She's the first woman at Miramar, first woman to fly the F-14 Tomcat - she teaches on an F-14. I guess, at this point I don't have to give you her resume.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: No, but could you tell me more about Jackie Robinson and breaking barriers?