Charlie Young
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Quotes for
Charlie Young (Character)
from "The West Wing" (1999)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The West Wing: Privateers (#4.18)" (2003)
Charlie Young: Zoey's being inducted into the DAR, and there's a reception. And Jean-Paul thinks it's unnatural. And he's the son of a Count.
Will Bailey: Oh, who isn't.

Zoey Bartlet: Are you going to do what I asked in the email?
Charlie Young: No.
Zoey Bartlet: You just refuse.
Charlie Young: I do. I refuse, respectfully.
Zoey Bartlet: You can't refuse and be respectful at the same time.
Charlie Young: Watch me. Ask again.
Zoey Bartlet: Stop pursuing me.
Charlie Young: Respectfully, no.
Zoey Bartlet: Why?
Charlie Young: 'Cause I'm in love with you, and that's the way it goes.

Charlie Young: This is going to be a high self-image day for me.

"The West Wing: Bartlet's Third State of the Union (#2.13)" (2001)
Charlie Young: Ma'am, I'd like you to bear in mind that I'm not wearing pads or a helmet, or contact gear of any kind.

Dolores Landingham: When the President inquires into the First Lady's bookkeeping, the First Lady gets angry with him and yells.
Charlie Young: Well, she's going to get angry and yell when I inquire into it, too.
Dolores Landingham: Well, the President doesn't care so much about that.
Charlie Young: Yeah.
Charlie Young: Okay.
Charlie Young: This is a good job.
Dolores Landingham: I saw you on TV.
Charlie Young: Cool.

"The West Wing: Inauguration: Part 2 - Over There (#4.15)" (2003)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Charlie, I'm gonna change my mind again on the Bible.
Charlie Young: Mr. President, you have to imagine my utter surprise.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Aren't you afraid that one day I'm just gonna kick your ass like it's never been kicked?

Josh Lyman: It's good cop, bad cop. I'm the good cop. The four of you are the bad cop. Will, what are you?
Will: The bad cop.
Josh Lyman: Danny, what are you?
Danny Concannon: The bad cop.
Josh Lyman: Toby, what are you?
Toby Ziegler: Hurry up.
Josh Lyman: Charlie, who are you?
Charlie Young: I love Zoey and I must have her back.
Josh Lyman: The bad cop, that's right.
Will: [to Charlie] That's great news about Zoey. I didn't meet her but I bet she's nice.
Charlie Young: Not really, but my love for her knows no bounds.
Danny Concannon: Charlie, aren't you cold without a coat?
Charlie Young: I took off my coat to show my love for Zoey.
Danny Concannon: Wow.
Charlie Young: I'd take off my shirt too, but it's inappropriate with a tuxedo.
Danny Concannon: Not if we were at Chippendale's.

"The West Wing: Bad Moon Rising (#2.19)" (2001)
President Josiah Bartlet: I'm confident in your loyalty to me; I'm confident in your love for me. If you lie to protect me, if you lie just once, if you lie just a little, if you lie 'cause you can't stand what's happening to me and the people making it happen, if you ever, ever lie, you're finished with me. You understand?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: Say you understand.
Charlie Young: I understand, sir.

Sam Seaborn: You're telling me you've never been to college and after taking two classes this summer you're going to be like, a junior?
Charlie Young: With a pretty decent G.P.A.
Sam Seaborn: Charlie, just how smart are you?
Charlie Young: I've got some game.

"The West Wing: The Women of Qumar (#3.9)" (2001)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'm a master of modern history. You can ask me anything.
Charlie Young: What year did we pass the Clean Water Act?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I don't know.

President Josiah Bartlet: Did the Celtics win last night?
Charlie Young: No - they got crushed.
President Josiah Bartlet: Okay. When I say, "Did they win?" you can just say "yes" or "no".
Charlie Young: They got pretty well crushed.

"The West Wing: Holy Night (#4.11)" (2002)
Charlie Young: Well, Jean-Paul, I read a hundred and fifty words about you in US Weekly and I feel like I know you already.

Charlie Young: [after Will fumbles badly on meeting the President for the first time] You know what? I've seen worse.
Will Bailey: Really?
Charlie Young: Well, no.

"The West Wing: 20 Hours in America: Part I (#4.1)" (2002)
President Josiah Bartlet: I didn't know you were superstitious.
Charlie Young: I'm not. Plus, there are tribes in South America who don't think a photograph's a good idea to begin with.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah...
Charlie Young: You ever see any pictures on my desk?
President Josiah Bartlet: No.
Charlie Young: You ever wonder why?
President Josiah Bartlet: Charlie, just out of curiosity, in your mind, how much time do I spend thinking about your desk?
Charlie Young: Fair point, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: How long have we been talking about this now?
Charlie Young: A couple of minutes...
President Josiah Bartlet: OK, let's not tell anybody that.

Charlie Young: This is Ms Cregg. She's the White House Press Secretary and Senior Counsel to the President. And if she wasn't, she would still be Ms. Cregg. I don't mind you not respecting people. I mind you doing it out loud. I mind you doing it in this building...

"The West Wing: Lord John Marbury (#1.11)" (2000)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: My daughter asked you out?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I should've locked her in the dungeon.
Charlie Young: I don't think you've got one, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I could've built one.

Charlie Young: Mr. President?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'll take the Indian ambassador in the Oval Office.
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: And then if you could just ask the Secret Service to step in and kill me, please.
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.

"The West Wing: Let Bartlet Be Bartlet (#1.19)" (2000)
President Josiah Bartlet: Is Toby on his way?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: C.J.?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: Why aren't they here right now?
Charlie Young: They didn't know that it was raining, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: Nothing like surrounding yourself with the best and the brightest, Charlie.

Mrs. Landingham: I'm going to lunch, Charlie.
Charlie Young: Speaking of lunch...
Mrs. Landingham: Yes?
Charlie Young: The President's not too wild about his.
Mrs. Landingham: What's the nature of his dissatisfaction?
Charlie Young: He says it's made almost entirely of vegetables.
Mrs. Landingham: Yes, it's a salad, Charlie.
Charlie Young: The President would prefer a sandwich. He says roast beef will be fine, pastrami, sliced steak...
Mrs. Landingham: Charlie, tell the President he will eat his salad, and if he doesn't like it, he knows where to put his salad.

"The West Wing: Life on Mars (#4.21)" (2003)
Charlie Young: Are you eating a salad?
Toby Ziegler: Yeah.
Charlie Young: Why?
Toby Ziegler: 'Cause I am.
Charlie Young: I don't think I've ever seen you eat a salad. What kind of salad is it?
Toby Ziegler: I don't know...
Charlie Young: Just mixed greens?
Toby Ziegler: I don't know what kind of salad it is, I'm eating a salad, okay? I'm doing it, do I have to know the names? There's no difference between them, it's a bowl of weeds!
Toby Ziegler: Some of them have cheese, this isn't the kind with cheese, does that answer your question?
Toby Ziegler: Man, how many years have you been: "Toby, you eat like a teenager, Toby, that's red meat, that's your second cigar!" And here I am, eating a salad, which by the way you could smother up this with barbecue sauce, and it would still taste like the ground, and I'm getting heckled from the gallery!... who wanted to come in here eating his roast beef sandwich with ketchup on a Kaiser roll, and watch the damn tennis on my TV!
Toby Ziegler: That's all I'm saying!
Charlie Young: Man, you're really doing all you can to marry that woman!

Charlie Young: Helen Baldwin is gonna write a book. She's retained an agent, who sent around a two-page outline and there's a bidding war. Random House has bought it for low seven figures according to Stu Winkle. Could that possibly be his real name?
[reading newspaper]
Charlie Young: "Baldwin, long a fixture in D.C. and Manhattan Society, whether for her work on charity boards or her position on the arm of some of Wall Street, Washington and Hollywood's most eligble men, as well as hosting some of the beltways favorite..." What the hell kind of a sentence is this? There's a seventy three year old lady who works in the Residence, cleaning and winding all the clocks. She won't retire. She inherited it from her mother, who inherited it from her mother. She earns $22,000 a year. She's trusted to walk in and out of rooms where there's personal correspondence, where she can hear if the President and the First Lady are having a fight, where she can see people come for secret meetings. And she's been doing this for five decades worth of presidents. Her name is Mrs. Wheely and I said, "Mrs. Wheely, you should really write a book!" and she said, "No, no, no! We don't do that." 22,000 a year!

"The West Wing: Galileo (#2.9)" (2000)
C.J. Cregg: They said modern music. I thought, you know, that meant Jackson Browne.
Charlie Young: Jackson Browne is modern?
C.J. Cregg: [sighs] He used to be.

C.J. Cregg: Everybody's stupid in an election year, Charlie.
Charlie Young: No, everybody gets treated stupid in an election year, C.J.

"The West Wing: The Red Mass (#4.4)" (2002)
Charlie Young: Can you make a run to the staff secretary's office? Ellen's not there but someone should be. Make sure you just take what needs to be signed today. They're going to try to give you a whole stack and right there is where you become a man, Emily.
Emily: Should I use sex as a tactic?
Charlie Young: If you need to. Hell, even if you just want to.

Emily: Nice note?
Charlie Young: No. At several points he suggests that I might have an improper relationship with my mother.

"The West Wing: Arctic Radar (#4.10)" (2002)
Leo McGarry: Now, please, don't leap into it. Don't...
[Bartlett answers the phone]
President Josiah Bartlet: There are BIG SIGNS. You CAN'T park there. They *should* get towed. I hope they get towed to Queens, and the Triboro is closed, and there's a big craft show at Shea, a flea market or a tractor show.
[Bartlett hangs up]
Charlie Young: Well, that was probably his secretary.
President Josiah Bartlet: Damn it.
Charlie Young: You can bet she'll be parking in a garage though.

Charlie Young: I don't think you can reasonably ask someone to control who they fall in love with.

"The West Wing: A Proportional Response (#1.3)" (1999)
Sam Seaborn: You ever tried to overthrow the government?
Charlie Young: N-No sir.
Sam Seaborn: What the hell's been stopping you?

[Charlie's first line]
Charlie Young: I-I beg your pardon?

"The West Wing: The Drop In (#2.12)" (2001)
President Josiah Bartlet: 2,000 environmentalists are going to try to kill me tomorrow night.
Charlie Young: We should go, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: They're going to come after me with vegan food and pitchforks.
Charlie Young: That doesn't really sound like something people do.
President Josiah Bartlet: Still, I'd like you to get between me and any boiled seaweed you see coming my way.

Charlie Young: He's back, but he's receiving credentials from Her Excellency Renee Ernesto of Argentina, and asks for your patience.
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury: Then my patience he shall have.

"The West Wing: Red Haven's on Fire (#4.17)" (2003)
Sam Seaborn: [to Charlie] You're all right?
Charlie Young: Yeah, I'm all right. You know, when you sit in a cage, you have time to do a lot of thinking.
Toby Ziegler: Hurricane, we were in the joint for two hours and 20 minutes, 'kay?

Toby Ziegler: You know what they don't tell you? You can post bond with a credit card.
Charlie Young: [to officer] Yo, man, that's totally whack!
Toby Ziegler: [into cellphone] Yeah. Charlie's trying to throw down with the street. It's kind of a sad sight to see.
Charlie Young: [to officer] I've got American Express. I've got Visa. I could've posted bond and gotten miles, damn it.

"The West Wing: The Portland Trip (#2.7)" (2000)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: The Assistant Energy Secretary is flying to Portland in the middle of the night so he can meet with me on Air Force One on the way back?
Charlie Young: Yes sir.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: The day-to-day experience of my life has changed in many ways since taking this job.

Charlie Young: Mr. President, if this was an idea, somebody would've had it already.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I find fault with that formula.

"The West Wing: Celestial Navigation (#1.15)" (2000)
[Charlie is waking up the President]
Charlie Young: Sir, I need you to dig in now. It wasn't a nightmare. You really are the President.

"The West Wing: Memorial Day (#5.22)" (2004)
Charlie Young: [telling the President that he has to practice throwing a baseball with a bullet proof vest on before throwing the first pitch out at a baseball game] Sir, everyone agrees.
President Josiah Bartlet: Like who?
Charlie Young: Leo, Josh, CJ, your wife, the Notre Dame athletic department...

"The West Wing: Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics (#1.21)" (2000)
Ambassador Ken Cochran: I'm sorry to do this, but I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
Charlie Young: Well, I'm personal aide to the President, so my supervisor's a little busy right now looking for a back door to this place to shove you out of. But I'll let him know you'd like to lodge a complaint.

"The West Wing: Ellie (#2.15)" (2001)
President Josiah Bartlet: Charlie, would you arrange for my middle daughter to come see me at her earliest possible convenience?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: Ah, screw her convenience. Get her ass down here.

"The West Wing: The Midterms (#2.3)" (2000)
Charlie Young: Zoey and I are going out. I'll be on my pager.
Leo McGarry: You're going out?
Charlie Young: Yeah.
Leo McGarry: Charlie, you're taking extra protection, right?
Charlie Young: [taken aback] Hey, Leo, I...
Leo McGarry: Secret Service protection, Charlie, but thanks for loading me up with that image.
Charlie Young: Yeah, we'll have extra protection.

"The West Wing: Hartsfield's Landing (#3.15)" (2002)
[CJ and Charlie are discussing a copy of the President's private schedule - which she has hidden in retaliation for him making her sign a copy out earlier - before walking into the office outside the Oval Office]
Charlie Young: Look C.J...
C.J. Cregg: You'll find it in your filing cabinet under A for "anal".
Larry: I don't really wanna know what he's going to find in his filing cabinet, do you?
Ed: No.

"The West Wing: And It's Surely to Their Credit (#2.5)" (2000)
Abbey Bartlet: Just give him a message for me, would you?
Charlie Young: Sure.
Abbey Bartlet: You'll want to write this down.
Charlie Young: Yes, ma'am.
Abbey Bartlet: Your blood pressure is 120/80.
Charlie Young: How did you know that, ma'am?
Abbey Bartlet: I'm saying his blood pressure.
Charlie Young: Ah... is 120/80.
Abbey Bartlet: Yeah. Your EKG shows a good sinus rhythm.
Charlie Young: Okay.
Abbey Bartlet: No evidence of ischemic changes.
Charlie Young: How are we spelling...?
Abbey Bartlet: Doesn't matter. Your electrolytes and metabolic panels are within normal limits. Chest x-ray is clear, and prostate screens are fine.
Charlie Young: Okay.
Abbey Bartlet: So, we can have sex now.

"The West Wing: Stirred (#3.18)" (2002)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Can I tell you what's messed up about James Bond?
Charlie Young: Nothing.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Shaken, not stirred, will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. The reason you stir it with a special spoon is so not to chip the ice. James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it.

"The West Wing: What Kind of Day Has It Been (#1.22)" (2000)
[President Bartlet walks through the halls talking with Charlie and occasionally wishing "Good morning" to various White House employees]
President Josiah Bartlet: Listen, have I gotten any of the names right so far?
Charlie Young: No sir, but you came damn close on a couple of them.

"The West Wing: Swiss Diplomacy (#4.9)" (2002)
Charlie Young: More thank-you notes?
President Josiah Bartlet: You know what? Why don't you tell Debbie we're gonna do some calls.
Charlie Young: Calls?
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, calls. "Calls". Mr. Sarcasm with your dry "calls". I was this close to renaming one of the oceans after you, but no way. Maybe, maybe one of the species of fish. Like trout. Trout is now Charlie. Went out to the lake, pulled out a couple of nice Charlie for dinner.
Charlie Young: Anything else, s...
President Josiah Bartlet: [cutting him off] Look at the size of that Charlie you've got mounted on your wall.
Charlie Young: Thank you sir.

"The West Wing: Shibboleth (#2.8)" (2000)
Charlie Young: Okay, Mr. President. I say this with all possible respect, but each of these knives cuts, you know, meat. Why is it important?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: 'Cause it is something we pass on. It's something with a history, so we can say, "My father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him, and now I'm giving it to you."
Charlie Young: Well, OK, sir. But if that's true then why don't you already have one?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I do have one.
Charlie Young: Why do you need a new one?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'm giving mine away.
Charlie Young: To who?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Whom.
Charlie Young: To whom?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Funny you should ask.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: [Reaches into his desk and takes out a case]
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Charlie, my father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him, and now I'm giving it to you.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: [Hands Charlie the box]
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Take a look.
Charlie Young: [Opens the box]
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: The fully tapered bolster allows for sharpening the entire edge of the blade.
Charlie Young: It says "PR" I thought I knew them all but I don't recognize the manufacturer.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: This was made for my family by a Boston silversmith named Paul Revere. I'm proud of you, Charlie.
Charlie Young: [overwhelmed] Thank you, sir.

"The West Wing: He Shall, from Time to Time... (#1.12)" (2000)
Charlie Young: How are you feeling, sir?
President Josiah Bartlet: I'm feeling roughly the same as I was feeling when you asked me four minutes ago.

"The West Wing: Tomorrow (#7.22)" (2006)
[after the inauguration, Bartlet's staff is getting ready to leave the West Wing]
Charlie Young: What about see a movie?
Will Bailey: It's two o'clock in the afternoon.
Charlie Young: Got anything better to do?
Kate Harper: No, I guess, we don't.
Will Bailey: Is there a movie theater around here?
Charlie Young: I have no idea.

"The West Wing: Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail (#2.16)" (2001)
President Josiah Bartlet: What plaid-flannel-wearing cheese-eating yahoo of a milkman governor signed that idiot bill into state law?
Charlie Young: [looks uncomfortable and doesn't answer]
President Josiah Bartlet: It was me, wasn't it?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.

"The West Wing: In Excelsis Deo (#1.10)" (1999)
President Josiah Bartlet: You know, Zoey is starting Georgetown in two weeks. I was thinking about getting this for her - "The Nature of Things, a Didascalic Poem" translated from the Latin of Titus Lucretius Carus. What do you think?
Charlie Young: I think she would like that better than a new stereo, sir.

"The West Wing: Enemies (#1.8)" (1999)
Charlie Young: Sam, tomorrow is the Assistant Transportation Secretary's 50th birthday and Leo wants you to write a message from the President.
Sam Seaborn: He wants me?
Charlie Young: Yeah.
Sam Seaborn: He wants me to write a birthday message for the President?
Charlie Young: Nancy Becker needs it tonight.
Sam Seaborn: Are you sure he doesn't want someone who, you know, isn't staggeringly overqualified for the job?

"The West Wing: 7A WF 83429 (#5.1)" (2003)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: You work for the President. He's going to need you down there.
Charlie Young: I work for you, sir. Someone else can show him where the Xerox paper is.

"The West Wing: Posse Comitatus (#3.22)" (2002)
Charlie Young: Before your next job interview with the President, I'm gonna remind you that you probably don't wanna be stoned.
Deborah Fiderer: There's gonna be a second interview?
Charlie Young: There's gonna be as many as it takes. We're gonna get this right.
Deborah Fiderer: Well, let me back you up a second. Have we done the first one yet?

"The West Wing: The Leadership Breakfast (#2.11)" (2001)
Charlie Young: [Sam and Josh have just set off the smoke alarms in the West Wing] Mr. President, you know how you told me not to wake you up unless the building was on fire?

"The West Wing: Mr. Willis of Ohio (#1.6)" (1999)
[a cadre of Secret Service Agents just arrested the Frat boys in the Bar]
Charlie Young: Now I'm having a good time.

"The West Wing: The Supremes (#5.17)" (2004)
Justice Christopher Mulready: So why a racial preference and not an economic one?
Charlie Young: Because affirmative action is about a legacy of racial oppression.
Justice Christopher Mulready: It's about compromising admission standards.
Charlie Young: That's bull. Excuse me. It's about leveling the playing field after 300 years...
Justice Christopher Mulready: See, this is where the liberal argument goes off the tracks. You get stuck in the past. Now, you want to come back at me with "Grading is based on past performance, but admissions should be based on potential, on how a candidate may thrive with this sort of opportunity, and studies show that affirmative action admits have a higher predisposition to contribute to society"
Charlie Young: Hang on, I've gotta write this down.

"The West Wing: Election Night (#4.7)" (2002)
Charlie Young: I'm not Officer Krupke. I have a job.

"The West Wing: In This White House (#2.4)" (2000)
President Josiah Bartlet: When they close the book on me and you, it will say that at this moment you were not there for me. And for that, obviously, there will be some kind of punishment.
Charlie Young: Well, you could sing Puccini for me again, Mr. President. We'll call it even.

"The West Wing: The Lame Duck Congress (#2.6)" (2000)
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Charlie!
Charlie Young: Yes, sir?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Could I have a couple of aspirin, or a weapon of some kind to kill people with?
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.

"The West Wing: Take This Sabbath Day (#1.14)" (2000)
President Josiah Bartlet: Charlie, I'm going to ask you a question. And this is one of those times that it's OK to tell me I've stepped over the line, and I should shut my mouth, okay?
Charlie Young: Okay.
President Josiah Bartlet: What happened to the guy who shot your mother?
Charlie Young: They haven't found him yet, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: If they did, would you want to see him executed? Killing a police officer is a capital crime. I figured you must have thought about it.
Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: And?
Charlie Young: I wouldn't want to see him executed, Mr. President.
Charlie Young: I'd want to do it myself.

"The West Wing: Requiem (#7.18)" (2006)
[to Toby after Leo's funeral]
Charlie Young: I'll walk out with you. I don't think a picture of you and me makes the New York Times. Do you?