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: What's that screaming? A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming...
The Great Tyrant
: Hello, pretty pretty. Barbarella
: Hello... The Great Tyrant
: Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing. You're very pretty, Pretty-Pretty. Barbarella
: My name isn't pretty-pretty, it's Barbarella.
: [radioing instructions to the rebel army
] And our password will be... Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Barbarella
: You mean the secret password is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? Dildano
The Great Tyrant
: So, my pretty-pretty; we meet again. Barbarella
: You! The little one-eyed wench! The Great Tyrant
: You have a good memory, Pretty-Pretty. Yes, sometimes I like to go among my people, be like them, ordinary, 'evil' as you would call it. So, I'm your little one-eyed wench. I'm also the Great Tyrant. Barbarella
: Well, that's nice. The Great Tyrant
: It amuses me immensely! Now, I suppose you're interested in the wereabouts and welfare of a certain party, yes? Barbarella
: Yes, I am. I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Durand-Durand. The Great Tyrant
: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HIM, I'M SPEAKING OF THE ANGEL! Barbarella
: Pygar? The Great Tyrant
: Yes, Pygar. He has escaped the labyrinth. Crime. He has destroyed twelve of my black guards. Crime. And he DARES to deprive me of a pleasure unique in Sogo, an Earthling. Crime! Crime! Barbarella
: Where is Pygar? The Great Tyrant
: You want your fine-feathered friend? There he is. Barbarella
: [as Pygar flies away from the ruins of SoGo, with Barbarella under one arm and the Great Tyrant under the other
] Pygar! Why did you save her, after all the terrible things she did to you? Pygar
] An angel has no memory.
The Great Tyrant
: Vade retro, Earth girl! I know you don't really exist. Barbarella
: That may be true, Your Majesty, but let's just stick to what we see.
: You're soft and warm. We're told earth beings are cold. Barbarella
] Well... not all of us.
: Make love? But no one's done that for hundreds of centuries!
: [holding a ray pistol to the Great Tyrant's head
] De-crucify the angel! The Great Tyrant
: What? Barbarella
: De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!
: [as she is attacked by a flock of small birds
] This is a really amuch too poetic way to die.
: Pygar! What does that say? Pygar
: "Chamber of Ultimate Solution." Barbarella
: I don't like the sound of that.
: Are you typical of Earth women? Barbarella
: I'm about average.
: I suppose you realize you've saved my life. Dildano
: A life without cause is a life without effect. Barbarella
: Well, I'm sure I could get you a substantial recompense from my government. Dildano
: Earth woman, shall I tell you what I would like? Barbarella
: I think I know.
[Barbarella starts to undress
: No! No, not like that! Like on Earth, on-on Earth, the pill! I-I have the pill. Barbarella
: But, eh, couldn't we do it your way? Eh, I don't want to change your traditions. Dildano
: I'm not a savage! The pill! Barbarella
: Alright. Dildano
: Five years, I've waited for this experience.
[Dildano takes a pill
: Oh, wait!
[Barbarella takes a pill
: Listen you kids, untie me or I'll call your parents!
: We don't know anything about Tau Ceti or its inhabitants. Barbarella
: You mean, they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility? President
: [having been equipped with weapons taken from the 'Museum of Conflict'
] Armed? Like a naked savage!
: [standing naked in front of the videophone, talking with the President
] Just a minute, I'll slip something on. President
: Don't trouble yourself. This is an affair of state.
: My energy box is completely dead!
[Durand-Durand places the sheet music into the Excessive Machine, while Barbarella lays inside the machine, looking worried
: [Durand-Durand starts playing, and Barbarella gasps in pleasure, as she feels it stimulating her
] Oh! Ohhhh! What is this thing? Durand-Durand
: You'll soon see, my dear. "Sonata for Executioner, and Various Young Women". Barbarella
: [Feeling a short spike of pleasure
] Oh! It's... it's sort of nice, isn't it? Durand-Durand
: Yes... It is nice. In the beginning.
[Barbarella's clothes are removed by the machine, leaving her in her underwear in it
: Wait until the tune changes. You may change your tune as well. Barbarella
: Oh Goodness! What do you mean?
[the intensity of the music increases, and Barbarella screams, feeling her pleasure increase dramatically, her underwear being removed by the machine
: When we reach the crescendo, you will die... of pleasure. Your end will be swift but sweet. Very sweet.
[He continues playing dramatically, as Barbarella writhes in the intense pleasure she's being forced to feel. She has to grab hold of part of the machine to stop herself falling in from pleasure. Her face contorts between pleasure and amazement, as she struggles to keep her eyes open. Finally, she lets out a loud moan as she orgasms. After she orgasms, her face full of the ecstasy she's still being given. The Excessive Machine's wires begin to set on fire
: What's this? I don't believe it! It couldn't be! You wretched, wretched girl! What have you done to my Excessive Machine? You've undone it! You've undone me! You... look! The energy cables are shrinking! You've turned them into faggots! You... You've burned out the Excessive Machine! You've blown all its fuses! Barbarella
: My goodness... Durand-Durand
: You've exhausted its power! It couldn't keep up with you! This is incredible! What kind of girl are you? Have you no shame? Barbarella
] Ohhhhhhhh... Durand-Durand
: Shame... shame on you! You'll pay for this! I've got something in store for you! You'll wish you had died of pleasure before this day is done! Now you shall learn the wisdom of the lash! Barbarella
: Oh please, haven't you done enough to me? Durand-Durand
: I'll do things to you that are beyond all known philosophies! Wait until I get my devices!
: That's my good girl. One day, Barbarella, we must meet, eh, in the flesh. Thank you. And, Love. Barbarella
: I better adjust my tongue box.
: Professor Ping? Professor Ping
: Yes? Barbarella
: My name is Barbarella. Professor Ping
: Tell me, what is your origin? You have the aspects of an Earthling!
[Stares at Barbarella's breasts
] Professor Ping
: You are of, female gender. Are you not? Barbarella
: That is correct. Professor Ping
The Great Tyrant
: Amusing, isn't it, Pretty-Pretty? Don't you feel like playing? Pretty-Pretty, you can play with us, if you want. Barbarella
: Yes. Why not? The Great Tyrant
: Good, Pretty-Pretty.
: Oh, I'm just not the tube type.
: Come on, come on! Stop stalling! Barbarella
: I'm trying to find the keyhole.
The Great Tyrant
: Why don't you give him a mouth-to-mouth? Barbarella
: I have a better idea.
: Weapon? Ha-ha. Why would anybody want to invent a weapon? President
: How should I know. Barbarella
: Ha-ha. I mean, the universe has been pacified for centuries, sir. President
: What we know of it.
: Well, it may give them the power to shatter the loving union of the universe. Barbarella
: That could lead to - archaic insecurity and... President
: And war. Barbarella
: You mean, selfish competition and... President
: I mean, war. Bloody conflict between entire tribes. Barbarella
: I don't believe it. President
: Neither do I. But, we can't take the chance. Barbarella
: Something must be done. President
: Yes. And you are the girl who has to do it.
: I'm so grateful for what you've done, I hardly know how to begin to thank you. I'm positive I could get you some sort of recompense from my government. I mean if there's anything you need or that I can do, please tell me. Mark Hand
: Well, you could let me, make love to you. Barbarella
: Make love, did you say? Mark Hand
: Yes. Barbarella
: What do you mean? You don't even know my psychocardiogram? Mark Hand
: Heh? Barbarella
: Well, on Earth, for centuries, people haven't made love unless their psychocardiogram readings were in perfect compliments. Mark Hand
: I know nothing of that. You asked me for what you could do for me and I told you. Barbarella
: Well, alright. But, I don't see what good it will do? Do you have any pills? Mark Hand
: Pills? Barbarella
: Oh, never mind, I have some, here. Mark Hand
: Wha-wha-what is this pill? Barbarella
: Its an exultation transference pellant, of course. Mark Hand
: Hmm? I know nothing of this. Barbarella
: I see. Well, on Earth, when our psychocardiogram readings are in harmony and we wish to, make love, as you call it, we take an exultation transference pellant and remain, like this. Here, let me show you. For one minute or until full rapport is achieved. Mark Hand
: Aww! I don't care for that. This, this is what I mean! This! A bed! Barbarella
: That? Why nobodies done that for centuries. I mean, nobody except the very poor, who can't afford the pills and the psychocardiogram readings. Mark Hand
: Why not? Barbarella
: Cause it was proved to be distracting and a danger to maximum efficiency. And, and because it was pointless to continue, when other substitutes for ego support and self esteem were made available. Mark Hand
: So, you won't do it? Barbarella
: Well, if you simply must insist, I guess so. But, I can assure you, there's really no point at all in doing it like this. Mark Hand
: Without your, eh, garments, please. Barbarella