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: I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this about anyone, so please don't get me wrong when I tell you that Tom, while being a very nice guy, is the Devil. Jane Craig
: This isn't friendship. You're crazy, you know that? Aaron Altman
: What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Jane Craig
: God! Aaron Altman
: Come on! Nobody is going to be taken in by a guy with a long, red, pointy tail! What's he gonna sound like?
] Aaron Altman
: No. I'm semi-serious here. Jane Craig
: You're seriously... Aaron Altman
: He will be attractive! He'll be nice and helpful. He'll get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation. He'll never do an evil thing! He'll never deliberately hurt a living thing... he will just bit by little bit lower our standards where they are important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit. And he'll talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.
: And in the middle of all this, I started to think about the one thing that makes me feel really good and makes immediate sense... and it's you. Jane Craig
: Oh, Bubba. Aaron Altman
: I'm going to stop right now. Except that I would give anything if you were two people, so that I could call up the one who's my friend and tell her about the one that I like *so much*!
: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room. Jane Craig
: No. It's awful.
[Playback on monitor
] Reluctant Interviewee
: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Can you use that? Aaron Altman
: Depends on how slow a news day it is.
[Reacting to the playback
] Jane Craig
: I can't believe you said that! Aaron Altman
: I'm very proud of that.
: No, no, no it wasn't just the speech, the same thing happened with this guy. I have passed some line, some place. I am beginning to repel people I'm trying to seduce. Aaron Altman
: He must've been great looking... Jane Craig
: Why do you say that? Aaron Altman
: Because nobody invites a *bad* looking idiot up to their bedroom.
: Bastard! Sneak! Quitter! Aaron Altman
: Just what do you want from me anyway, permission to be a fake? Stop whining.
: I-I can't help you. Sorry, I'm not here to teach remedial reporting.
: People called in complaining about your sweating? Aaron Altman
: No, NICE calls, worried that I was having a heart attack.
[On Aaron's sweating incident on the air
] Jane Craig
: [on phone
] It wasn't UNPRECEDENTED, was it? Tom Granick
: [on phone
] Not unless you count "Singin' In the Rain".
: So you like me, huh? Tom Granick
: I like you as much as I can like anyone who thinks I'm an asshole.
: It's amazing who's here. Jane Craig
: Who? Tom Granick
: You're an *amazing* woman - what a *feeling* having you inside my head! Jane Craig
] Yeah - it was - an unusual place to be. Tom Granick
: It's like - indescribable - you knew *just* when to feed me the next line, you knew the m... second before I needed it. There was like, a *rhythm* we got into - it was like - *great sex*!
[he pulls her toward him while she laughs