Wallace Ritchie
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Quotes for
Wallace Ritchie (Character)
from The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997)

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The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997)
Wallace: Sorry I get a little bit insensitive, but I'm a hitman!

Wallace: [Wallace is being shot at] Time out! Time out! I got something in my eye, jagoff!

Lorelei 'Lori': What are you? C.I.A., Mafia?
Wallace: Both.

Wallace: Blockbuster... Des Moines.

Wallace: Please don't call me by my real name, it destroys the reality I'm trying to create.

Hawkins: Spencer, did you flush?
Wallace: I think she's gonna do that, don't you, pal? I'll ask her. Lori!
Hawkins: [Quietly to Daggenhurst] He's talking to her!
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: She's still in the bowl?
Hawkins: Maybe he tried to flush her, but she floated back up!
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: Tell him to flush her! Spencer knows how to deal with floaters.

Wallace: Stay away from that phone!
[shoots phone]

Wallace: [a constable asks Wallace to see his license after a high speed chase] No, you may not! But I do have this nifty communicator with which you can speak directly to my superiors.
Wallace: [On the communicator/cigarette case] Breaker, breaker, come on back to that big ol' HQ, come on back to me.
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: Who is this?
Wallace: This is Spencer.
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: So you're still using that name, are you?
Wallace: Well, I figured I would until 11:30.
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: [to his assistant] How he mocks us.

Wallace: She told me about the letters.
Gilbert Embleton: Letters? What letters?
Wallace: The letters. She told me about them. I know all about the letters. How do you think I know? She told me. That's how I found out.

Wallace: Yo matey, you just stabbed me with your pen.

Wallace: [in a singsong voice] Gilbert's gone.

Lorelei 'Lori': You know, for half a second back there I thought I saw a real human being.
Wallace: Nobody asked me to be a human being.

Police Constable Cochrane: So what's the pay like then?
Wallace: They pay all your expenses, you're licensed to kill, but there's a down side.
Police Constable Cochrane: What's that?
Wallace: Torture.
Police Constable Cochrane: There's the women, though.
Wallace: Well, they're nice after the torture. Believe me.
Police Constable Cochrane: Not much of a car they've given you though, is it?
Wallace: Oh, it's a piece of crap! They've got an Aston Martin... had trouble with the surface-to-air missiles, so it's in the shop.
Wallace: Ah.

[last lines]
Wallace: Is this working? Are you liking it?

Wallace: Was that a tear? How do you people do it? Do you poke yourself in the eye? Or are you thinking right now "My dog is dead"?
Lorelei 'Lori': What's the matter with you? Are you enjoying this?
Wallace: Enormously! "My dog... is dead".

Wallace: [after FINALLY clearing Customs] Which door's England?

Immigration Officer: How long will you be staying in this country, sir?
Wallace: That's a very good question.
Immigration Officer: Yes, I thought so, too.