Nurse Malik McGrath
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Quotes for
Nurse Malik McGrath (Character)
from "ER" (1994)

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"ER: Night Shift (#3.11)" (1997)
Nurse Connie Oligario: So you got an idea that's gonna make you a millionaire?
Nurse Malik McGrath: Yeah, money in the bank!
Nurse Chuny Marquez: Alright, let's hear it.
Nurse Malik McGrath: Flypaper in a can!
Nurse Connie Oligario: Say what?
Nurse Malik McGrath: It's like aerosol. You spray it on your car so bugs will stick to it, then you peel off one big sheet, the boom! Your car is clean!
Nurse Chuny Marquez: You're kidding, right?
Nurse Malik McGrath: No! I'm gonna call it "Bug Off"!
Nurse Connie Oligario: That's the dumbest idea I ever heard.
Nurse Chuny Marquez: Yeah, why not just clean it off with a hose?
Nurse Malik McGrath: Ok, I got another one: Stethescope condoms!
Nurse Connie Oligario: I don't even wanna know.

[the doctors are trying to save a man who got hit by the El]
[a beeper goes off]
Nurse Malik McGrath: Whose beeper?
Dr. Peter Benton: It's coming from the patient.
[Malik looks at the beeper]
Nurse Malik McGrath: Lydia, what number did you page Gant to?
Nurse Lydia Wright: This room, 3376.
Nurse Malik McGrath: That's the number on this pager.
Dr. Maggie Doyle: Oh my God.
Dr. John Carter: What?
Dr. Maggie Doyle: The patient! It's Gant!

"ER: I Don't (#13.21)" (2007)
Nurse Malik McGrath: Timmy just told me I was the prettiest nurse in the ER.
Frank Martin: What do you want from me? A second opinion?

Nurse Malik McGrath: Timmy just told me I was the hottest nurse in the ER.
Frank Martin: What are you looking at me for? You want a second opinion?

"ER: Tell Me Where It Hurts (#9.7)" (2002)
Nurse Malik McGrath: Just say no to drugs and double bacon cheeseburgers.
Paul Nathan: You know, his size was probably something he couldn't control.
Dr. Susan Lewis: Especially if he was running downhill.

"ER: Dear Abby (#10.3)" (2003)
Nurse Abby Lockhart: I also have a guy in 2 who needs... something I can't read.
Nurse Malik McGrath: What does that say, "nipple lips?"

"ER: A Miracle Happens Here (#2.10)" (1995)
Carol Hathaway: On the twelfth day of Christmas, / my true love gave to me... uhhh...
[all the other ER docs enter and start singing]
Dr. Doug Ross: 12 tone deaf doctors.
Dr. Mark Greene: 11 lords a lording.
Dr. Susan Lewis: 10 drummers drumming.
Dr. John Carter: 9 something something.
Nurse Lydia Wright: 8 maids a milking.
Malik: 7 swans a swatting.
Harper: 6 geese a gagging.
Everyone: 5 golden rings. 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

"ER: The Show Must Go On (#11.22)" (2005)
[Carter has just lost three games of pool from Kovac]
Nurse Malik McGrath: I didn't even know they played pool in Croatia.
Dr. Luka Kovac: Sure. But, we just use broomsticks and goat testicles.
Nurse Malik McGrath: Get out of here!
Dr. Luka Kovac: No, it's hard. Those balls don't roll straight.

"ER: It's All in Your Head (#8.15)" (2002)
[Abby is looking for an apartment]
Nurse Malik McGrath: There's an old lady who's been sick on my floor.
Nurse Abby Lockhart: I don't know if I want to live in an apartment where somebody died.
Nurse Malik McGrath: All you need is some Lysol and some air freshener and it's all good!

"ER: Carter's Choice (#4.13)" (1998)
Jerry Markovic: Carter, what do you think the best approach with Weaver is? Contrition? Indignation?
Nurse Malik McGrath: Begging.
Dr. John Carter: I think I would just appeal to her innate sense of fairness.
Nurse Lydia Wright: She has a sense of fairness?
Dr. John Carter: Yeah. Just remind her that you've been on nights now for...
Jerry Markovic: Four months.
Dr. John Carter: And that you think your exemplary work history, and your many years of loyal service, marred only by one minor incident...
Nurse Lydia Wright: Blowing up the ambulance bay.
Dr. John Carter: ...makes it incumbent upon her to bring you back to the land of the living.
Nurse Malik McGrath: I still say beg.

"ER: Hit and Run (#1.4)" (1994)
Nurse Malik McGrath: [Carrying gigantic shears] Behind you! Look out!
Dr. Mark Greene: Ummm, Malik, you look like a surgeon!

"ER: Hell and High Water (#2.7)" (1995)
Dr. Mark Greene: What's he doing on a new chopper?
Jerry Markovic: [Jerry points to the TV] Hey look there's Doctor Ross.
Nurse Malik McGrath: Turn up the volume.
Nurse Wendy Goldman: Where's the remote?
Dr. Mark Greene: [Greene speaks into the radio] Doug, do you read me?
Dr. Doug Ross: Mark, is that you?
Dr. Mark Greene: What are you doing?
Dr. Doug Ross: I got a 12 year old with hypothermia. I gotta warm him up fast! I'm doing the best I can.

"ER: Homecoming (#7.1)" (2000)
Dr. Dave Malucci: Whoa, she's dead.
Dr. Luka Kovac: I know.
Dr. Dave Malucci: Like, blue-dead.
Nurse Malik McGrath: Pulse-ox is 65.
Dr. Dave Malucci: That's because she's dead.