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Quotes for
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw (Character)
from "ER" (1994)

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"ER: Scoop and Run (#13.9)" (2006)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: What's the deal with the new nurse?
Dr. Ray Barnett: What, you mean Jane?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Yeah.
Dr. Ray Barnett: What about her?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Nothing, you know? Just wondering.
Dr. Ray Barnett: You like her.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Quiet, you silly infant!

Jane Figler: Are you really a vegan?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Surgeons just shouldn't be carnivores. It's a known fact.

"ER: Heart of the Matter (#13.6)" (2006)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Are you trying to irritate me?
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Well, you make it so easy.

Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Was I unclear this morning when I assigned you to consults? Hmm? No? Do I speak too fast, or is that I, uh, accidentally lapsed into Aramaic, as I am prone to do?

"ER: Tell Me No Secrets... (#13.10)" (2006)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: The human shish-kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Okay, all right, Just for fun, let's pretend that you each had even a modicum of gray matter that you somehow managed to fashion into some crude, rudimentary semblance of a brain. You would know that you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.
Hope Bobeck: We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass? Not the same thing.
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, hey, Dr. Bobek acted under my supervision and my orders.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Perfect! You've got the half-wit leading the dimwit.
Dr. Archie Morris: Look, you obnoxious boor! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest, when no one, not even Surgery, would give him the time of day! Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine. It happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility. But at least we got off of our asses and tried to help!
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow, you know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life, to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: [drops clipboard as he turns to walk away]
Hope Bobeck: I could kiss you right now.
Dr. Archie Morris: Really?
Hope Bobeck: Hmm. Now it's gone.

"ER: Parenthood (#13.4)" (2006)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Mrs. Draper is back for her 27th hospital admission status, post-pancreatic pseudocyst.
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: 27?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Yes, somebody needs to tell her the hospital stopped giving out frequent-flier miles. Oh, and she's a chronic rectal discomfort, and you two get to work her up and review her old charts.
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: All 27?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: No, why don't you just forget all about visits 6, 13, and uh, what do you think, 21? Yeah, that should keep it interesting. It'll be like playing patient roulette.

"ER: In a Different Light (#14.2)" (2007)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Any trouble voiding?
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: No, my Foley's out.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Are you still passing gas?
Dr. Lucien Dubenko: Would you stop, Dusty? I think she's been through enough already.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: No going home until Neela makes a poo-poo.

"ER: From Here to Paternity (#13.17)" (2007)
Mae Lee Park: I've heard a lot about you.
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Great. All good, I hope.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: More or less. We left out the part about you being our unwanted ER stepchild.

"ER: Another Thursday at County (#15.2)" (2008)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: I am stuck with a new intern, and the ER was the target of a bioterrorist attack.
Dr. Lucien Dubenko: Mm-hmm, I used to call that a Thursday.

"ER: Atonement (#14.13)" (2008)
[Neela's hand was injured in a hockey game]
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: If I can't operate, you're dead!
Dr. Archie Morris: Wuss!
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: You hack!
Harold Zelinsky: Beeyotch!
Dr. Tony Gates: Who are you yelling at, Harold?
Harold Zelinsky: I don't really know.