Archie Morris
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Quotes for
Archie Morris (Character)
from "ER" (1994)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"ER: Somebody to Love (#13.3)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: So, are you loving motherhood?
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Yeah, it's, uh, it's bizarre.
Dr. Archie Morris: Sore nipples?

Dr. Archie Morris: [as he gives baby Joe, who's spitting up, back to Abby] Ok, you'd better take him. He's starting to get gross.

Dr. Archie Morris: [Talking about baby Joe] He looks more like Kovac.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: They say they usually look more like the father in the beginning. It's natures way of making sure Daddy doesn't get all insecure, and club us to death.

Dr. Abby Lockhart: I think I need to feed him.
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah, I'm down with that. Breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural thing, nothing to be ashamed of.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: You're not sneaking a peek at my tits, Morris.

Hope Bobeck: Have you accepted Jesus in your life?
Dr. Archie Morris: Jesus in accounting, or...?

[Hope has invited Archie to attend her next Bible group]
Dr. Archie Morris: Bible group. That's hot, right?
Timmy Rawlins: Trust me, carrot boy. You ain't anywhere near tapping that.


"ER: Sea Change (#13.22)" (2007)
Hope Bobeck: When I was 8, I found this book in my parents' bedroom: Sex and the Christian Marriage. And the very first page, it said, "Orgasms bring a couple closer to God." So that night at the dinner table, I asked my parents what an orgasm was.
Dr. Archie Morris: What did they say?
Hope Bobeck: An orgasm is a very special kind of prayer. Which is fine, and actually kind of sweet. But like, later that week, I had my first sleepover at a friend's house, so her mom asked me what my bedtime routine is, and I said "Bath, tooth brushing, orgasm, sleep."
Dr. Archie Morris: You did not!
Hope Bobeck: I did! I was never invited back.

Dr. Archie Morris: Your wedding was awesome. I just hope that thing I did didn't make you lose your security deposit.
Dr. Luka Kovac: What thing?
Dr. Archie Morris: What?

Dr. Archie Morris: It's like, your wedding happened, and now everything's changed. You know, you're married, I'm with Hope, you're not the chief anymore, there's new ramps in the bathroom. It's a brave new world. Gates is still a pain in the ass, though. At least there's something you can count on.


"ER: Believe the Unseen (#14.12)" (2008)
Frank Martin: Morris, are you sick?
Dr. Archie Morris: No, Frank, I got this IV because I'm feeling a little parched.

Dr. Archie Morris: Welcome back. How was Croatia?
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Oh, you know... European.

Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Jaspreet's gone, and she's never coming back.
Dr. Archie Morris: Where'd she go?
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Well, I could tell you that, but then I'd have to kill you. She asked me to relay the following: Archie, thank you for a wonderful night. It was great, but please stop calling. And don't ever call again. Ever. Harold, thank you for a wonderful night. It was great, but please stop calling. And don't ever call again. Ever. So, there you go. And I'd very much appreciate it if we never speak of this again. Ever.


"ER: Jigsaw (#13.7)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: You turned down the chance to be the next Sanjay Gupta? Are you insane, woman?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: I have no interest in fluff pieces about sunburns and bee stings.
Dr. Archie Morris: What's wrong with fluff? Half the patients who come through here are fluff! I'm the king of fluff!
Frank Martin: Word is, you're the best fluffer in town.

Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, uh, any messages for me yet, Frank?
Frank Martin: [loudly] No, Morris! That TV producer lady has not called back yet, and if you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna slap you so hard you turn brunette! Have you got that?

Hope Bobeck: I lied to Samantha about something, and now she's really steamed.
Dr. Archie Morris: Ooh, bad move. Piss one nurse off, piss them all off, like the mafia.


"ER: City of Mercy (#13.11)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: Hi, Lenore, I'm Dr. Morris. I would wish you a merry Christmas, but as an employee of the county, I am duty-bound to respect the separation of church and state.

Dr. Archie Morris: Don't you know that there's a rule that if millions of kids believe in the same thing, it becomes real?
Melia Simon: That's not a rule.
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah. Every time you're generous, or thoughtful, or help someone who needs help, that's a little bit of Santa too.

Dr. Gregory Pratt: Go ahead, you can gloat now. Tell me all about what a great manager you are. "I saved Jerry, I diagnosed D.I.D., yadda yadda."
Dr. Archie Morris: Know what? I'm gonna go with humility this time. For real.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Humili-what?


"ER: Graduation Day (#13.2)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: I'm not trying to toot my own horn, okay? But had Jerry wound up in the hands of Barnett or Lockhart, he'd be rapping with Tupac right now.

Dr. Archie Morris: I am not an ass-kissing company man. I'm an ass-kissing ER man, and I want my scrubs back!

Frank Martin: [Morris is wearing an expensive suit] What'd you do? Mug a pimp?
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah, your dad says hi.


"ER: The Show Must Go On (#11.22)" (2005)
Dr. John Carter: You set the tone, Morris.
Dr. Archie Morris: Huh?
Dr. John Carter: Never mind.

Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, I'm Archie.
Dr. Archie Morris: Ya, I introduced you two ten minutes ago.
[Archie then stumbles away]
Jessica: Whoa, is that guy really your boss?
Dr. Ray Barnett: No!
Jessica: That's what he's been saying.

Benny: So, are you a doctor too?
Dr. Archie Morris: Ah, Chief Resident.
Benny: Wow! That means like, nothing to me.


"ER: Blackout (#14.7)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: I hooked myself up with a tight, little sex machine. Energy-efficient to the tune of 40-plus miles per gallon, and draws babes to Archie like bees to honey.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Ew, that made me throw up in my mouth a little.

[Archie and Hope have broken up]
Dr. Archie Morris: No big deal. It was very mutual.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: That's good.
Dr. Archie Morris: Except it was all her idea, and I begged her not to do it. But I'm fine with it now, it's all good.
Dr. Archie Morris: Lady for you on three, chief.
Dr. Archie Morris: I hope she chokes on a mojito.

Dr. Archie Morris: Mr. Lefkowitz, did Mr. Perkins have any new pills at the home?
Bartholomew Lefkowitz: They're always giving us pills. You can't poop, they give you a pill. Complain about the government, you get a pill!
Dr. Archie Morris: Can you be more specific?
Bartholomew Lefkowitz: Try to get people to vote for Obama, they got a pill for that too!


"ER: Forgive and Forget (#10.16)" (2004)
Dr. Archie Morris: Dr. Weaver, if I'm endangering any lives, I'm willing to leave.
Dr. Kerry Weaver: Good. Why don't you go stand in the middle of Lake Shore Drive and play Tiananmen Square?

[about a patient who is coming to the ER in a tank]
Officer Davis: If he's coming here, we'll feed him onto the Eisenhower, force him to run out of gas.
Dr. Archie Morris: That's your plan? Let him run out of gas?
Nurse Abby Lockhart: [sarcastically] They're also getting a helicopter with a gigantic magnet.


"ER: Wake Up (#12.5)" (2005)
Dr. Archie Morris: Those are cool shoes, man. Adidas?
Dr. Victor Clemente: Get laid, Morris.

[about Clemente]
Dr. Archie Morris: He's annoying.
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: You said you liked his bloody shoes, you wanker!
Dr. Archie Morris: Just because he's annoying doesn't mean I can't like his shoes!


"ER: Lost in America (#12.17)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, I need someone to parlez-vous a little español.

Dr. Archie Morris: Ray! Meet my kids!
Dr. Ray Barnett: Your what?
Dr. Archie Morris: I needed some extra cash in college, donated to a sperm bank. Best job I ever had, by the way.


"ER: You Are Here (#11.20)" (2005)
Dr. Archie Morris: Excuse me everyone, I have an announcement to make... effective immediately, I am your new chief resident!
Dr. Greg Pratt: ...this is a joke, right?

Jerry Markovic: 2 words, Pratt, voice mail.
Dr. John Carter: What's all that?
Dr. Greg Pratt: Friends of mine begging me to go to a party after a long 12 hour shift. That's the problem with the non-medical types, they don't get it.
Dr. Archie Morris: Par-tay tonight at Ike's! The boss man is buying, but dont get used to it. Who's on board?
Dr. John Carter: [aside] Sometimes the medical types don't get it.
Dr. Archie Morris: Ray?
Dr. Ray Barnett: Uh, other plans.
Dr. Archie Morris: Neela?
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: The Apprentice is on.


"ER: Tell Me No Secrets... (#13.10)" (2006)
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: The human shish-kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Okay, all right, Just for fun, let's pretend that you each had even a modicum of gray matter that you somehow managed to fashion into some crude, rudimentary semblance of a brain. You would know that you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.
Hope Bobeck: We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass? Not the same thing.
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, hey, Dr. Bobek acted under my supervision and my orders.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Perfect! You've got the half-wit leading the dimwit.
Dr. Archie Morris: Look, you obnoxious boor! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest, when no one, not even Surgery, would give him the time of day! Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine. It happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility. But at least we got off of our asses and tried to help!
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow, you know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life, to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: [drops clipboard as he turns to walk away]
Hope Bobeck: I could kiss you right now.
Dr. Archie Morris: Really?
Hope Bobeck: Hmm. Now it's gone.

Dr. Archie Morris: Hope, would you drive a Lamborghini to a Laundromat? Hitch Seabiscuit to a plow? Have Eddie Van Halen play air guitar? I'm Dr. Morris. I don't do migraines!


"ER: Parenthood (#13.4)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: [punches Pratt in the arm] Thanks, dog.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: [speaking to Kovac] Did you just see that?
Dr. Luka Kovac: Yep. He's your dog boy.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: He's not my dog and he's not my boy. And you don't use the two together.
Dr. Luka Kovac: I know.

Hope Bobeck: Dr. Morris, I heard some guy attacked you. Are you okay?
Dr. Archie Morris: Oh, yes. Yeah, I turned the other cheek. You know what Jesus said... you know, when the, those guys, who uh, trespassed against him, as those who trespass against us... can I get an amen?
Hope Bobeck, Timmy Rawlins: Amen.


"ER: Skye's the Limit (#14.9)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: [flexing his arms] Check out these guns!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Those are more like water pistols.

Dr. Archie Morris: I took the liberty of getting you some fitness balls. Start with the lighter one, and you squeeze...
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Archie, you couldn't pay me to touch your balls.


"ER: Quintessence of Dust (#12.14)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: Kovac, your woman is starting to sound a little kooky.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Oh Morris, I swear to God, if you ever, ever refer to me as someone's "woman" ever again, I will slap you silly with this hole-punch!

Dr. Abby Lockhart: It's amazing how you guys can leap to misogyny from homophobia in a single bound.
Frank Martin: Hey, you were the one who was just calling Albright a bitch.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: After you did! And that's not the point. The point is... why is everyone so bigoted around here?
Dr. Ray Barnett: No more overnights for Abby.
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah, Kovac, your woman's starting to sound a little kooky.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Oh Morris, I swear to God, if you ever, ever refer to me as someone's "woman" again, I'll slap you silly with this hole punch.
Dr. Ray Barnett: Don't you mean bitch slap?


"ER: Age of Innocence (#15.8)" (2008)
Dr. Archie Morris: [after learning that Simon had been molested as a child] Simon, do you need to talk to somebody about this? It doesn't just go away.
Dr. Simon Brenner: [whispering] I need to get back to work.
Dr. Archie Morris: If it's still affecting you, you have to deal with it.
Dr. Simon Brenner: I am dealing with it, in my own way.

Dr. Archie Morris: We're all dying. Stress just gets you there faster.


"ER: Dream House (#12.6)" (2005)
Dr. Archie Morris: By all that is good and holy, what diabolical spell have you cast upon that child?

Dr. Archie Morris: [after thinking the chimp is a baby] Is he cute?
Abby Lockhart: Yeah... it's a hairy little monkey.


"ER: Dying Is Easy... (#13.15)" (2007)
Simon: Doc, doc, you gotta get me out of here, man. I got a hot date tonight.
Dr. Archie Morris: Does, uh, she take air or helium?
[chuckles]
Simon: She takes Visa. That was funny.

Dr. Archie Morris: Epi has a one minute half-life.
Simon: I have a body part with that same problem.


"ER: In a Different Light (#14.2)" (2007)
[Frank is looking up the genealogy of everyone in the ER]
Frank Martin: Hey Pratt, mazel tov!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You having a stroke, Frank?
Frank Martin: Did you know that your great-great-great-grandmother on your mother's side was an Ethiopian Jew?
Dr. Archie Morris: Wow, black and Jewish. You're like County's own Sammy Davis, Jr.

Frank Martin: What the heck is speed dating?
Dr. Archie Morris: It's a way for losers to meet other losers fast.


"ER: From Here to Paternity (#13.17)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: Please tell Mr. Morales that there are things that he can buy that won't get, uh, stuck up there. You know, like a wide base, or a string attached.
Nurse Dawn Archer: My Spanish definitely ain't that good.
Dr. Archie Morris: Uh, Señor.
[gesturing to his behind]
Dr. Archie Morris: Este una salida! No entrada!

Dr. Gregory Pratt: You want me to talk to this dude because I'm black.
Dr. Archie Morris: Well, yeah. I mean, you are black, aren't you?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: That's wrong, Morris.
Dr. Archie Morris: What? We do this all the time! If I had a pregnant girl, I might get Abby. Big Croatian, Kovac.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I didn't come to you with my autistic Irish kid.
Dr. Archie Morris: You could've! You should've!


"ER: 21 Guns (#12.22)" (2006)
[Abby calls Morris a name in Croatian]
Dr. Archie Morris: Oh, what is that, some kind of nasty Croatian word? Something about me and a goat?

Dr. Archie Morris: I'm sick of getting bit, kicked, and pissed on.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Guess you stopped dating too, huh?


"ER: Atonement (#14.13)" (2008)
Dr. Archie Morris: Hey, what's the definition of a double-blind study? Two ortho docs looking at a chest film!

[Neela's hand was injured in a hockey game]
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: If I can't operate, you're dead!
Dr. Archie Morris: Wuss!
Dr. Dustin Crenshaw: You hack!
Harold Zelinsky: Beeyotch!
Dr. Tony Gates: Who are you yelling at, Harold?
Harold Zelinsky: I don't really know.


"ER: Life After Death (#15.1)" (2008)
[Greg has had a surgical airway put in]
Chaz Pratt: You can't talk with that thing?
[Greg shakes his head no]
Chaz Pratt: Good. So you get to listen to me tell everyone about how many times I kicked your ass on the court.
[Greg rolls his eyes and writes something down]
Dr. Archie Morris: [Reading what Greg wrote] "I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?"


"ER: And in the End... (#15.22)" (2009)
[last lines]
Rachel Greene: [as victims are arriving] Dr. Carter?
Dr. John Carter: What? I'm sorry. What?
Rachel Greene: Are you okay?
Dr. John Carter: Yeah. A little deja vu.
Dr. Archie Morris: [as Morris wheeling in a patient] Carter. You working?
Dr. John Carter: Absolutely!
Dr. Archie Morris: Come on!
Dr. John Carter: [to Rachel as he's taking a patient into the ER] Dr. Greene. You coming?
[Rachel runs after him]


"ER: Impulse Control (#10.14)" (2004)
Frank Martin: You waiting for Weaver?
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Yeah.
Dr. Archie Morris: Well, don't hit her. She's crippled.


"ER: Dear Abby (#10.3)" (2003)
Nurse Abby Lockhart: Any questions?
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah, why is the board see-through?
Nurse Abby Lockhart: So we can see through it.
Frank Martin: Remind me not to get sick any time soon.


"ER: The Family Man (#15.15)" (2009)
[Archie is dressed up as a superhero for a kid's birthday party]
Philip: You're not Superhero Gary!
Dr. Archie Morris: Of course I am! Yeah, I'm Superhero Gary! I'm the strongest man in Chicago. With the... behold my biceps of superness!
Kid #1: Those are fake!
Philip: Your hair looks different.
Kid #1: And his legs!
Kid #2: Superhero Gary has man legs!
Dr. Archie Morris: These are my bionic legs! Yes, for leaping buildings in a single bound!
Kid #2: What's a bound?


"ER: Let It Snow (#15.9)" (2008)
[Archie is trying to get a group of physicians to participate in singing "Let It Snow"]
Dr. Archie Morris: [singing] Oh, the weather outside is...
[he thrusts the microphone in a man's face, to no response]
Dr. Archie Morris: [singing] ... frightful/But the fire is so...
[he thrusts the microphone in a woman's face, to no response]
Dr. Archie Morris: No winners yet!
[singing]
Dr. Archie Morris: ... Delightful/And since we've no place to go/Let it...
[he thrusts the microphone in Cate's face]
Dr. Cate Banfield: Stop! Let it stop! Make it stop!


"ER: Darfur (#12.15)" (2006)
Dr. Abby Lockhart: [Abby comes across a wrapped gift basket of baby things at the admit desk] What's this?
Frank Martin: Oh, that's for you and the little bastard.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Gee, thanks Frank.
Dr. Kerry Weaver: Congratulations!
Dr. Abby Lockhart: Thanks. It was supposed to be a secret...
[looking pointedly at Morris]
Dr. Archie Morris: What? Everyone was saying you were getting puffy. I had to defend you.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: [looks at Luka] Am I getting puffy?
Dr. Luka Kovac: You are not getting puffy.


"ER: Blame It on the Rain (#12.4)" (2005)
Dr. Archie Morris: That's nice, Eve. Maybe you can bring it up at your next "Nazi Nurse" rally.


"ER: Under the Influence (#14.5)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: Okay, you're feeling some pressure? Excellent. Name me three bacteria for neonatal sepsis.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Bend over and kiss my ass.
Dr. Archie Morris: Those are not bacteria!


"ER: Heart of the Matter (#13.6)" (2006)
[about Kerry's tirade about the healthcare system, which interrupted Archie's news broadcast]
Courtney Brown: That was gold. What's her name?
Dr. Archie Morris: Dr. Judas!


"ER: Status Quo (#14.11)" (2008)
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Not every Indian has been to India, Morris.
Harold Zelinsky: It's like assuming every African-American has been to Africa.
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah, well, I mean, I just assumed... arranged marriages, India. Hello?
Harold Zelinsky: You assumed wrong, butt-head!


"ER: Love Is a Battlefield (#15.13)" (2009)
[Archie is looking at buying a minivan]
Dr. Archie Morris: If I drive it, they will come.
Nurse Chuny Marquez: Who will come?
Dr. Archie Morris: My future wife, kids, and our dog, Buster.


"ER: Just a Touch (#10.19)" (2004)
Dr. Archie Morris: Sounds like he TUBE'd her.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: What?
Dr. Archie Morris: TUBE: Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Morris, you're such an ass.
Dr. Kerry Weaver: What was that?
Dr. Archie Morris: Huh?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: What was that term?
Dr. Archie Morris: I dunno. I didn't make it up.


"ER: The Book of Abby (#15.3)" (2008)
Dr. Abby Lockhart: You know, Archie, it's amazing that you've managed to make my last moment here about you. I love that.
Dr. Archie Morris: I love you, too!


"ER: Gravity (#14.4)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: I'm getting my pretty boy on for my last night with Hope. I ordered the works package. I can't wait.
Frank Martin: It's gonna take more than the works to save that mug of yours.
Javier: Oh my God, so mean.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: That's his baseline. You'll get used to it.


"ER: I Don't (#13.21)" (2007)
[Greg is giving a toast]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You guys know me, I've never been married before.
Dr. Archie Morris: But he's dated women who were!
[crowd laughs]
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Leave your mom out of it, Morris!
Crowd: Ohhhh!
Dr. Archie Morris: Okay, okay, what's the difference between an ER nurse and a Porsche, Sam?


"ER: The Beginning of the End (#15.16)" (2009)
Dr. Archie Morris: You know, I think what you're doing to me is tantamount to police brutality.
Claudia Diaz: Where'd you hear that line? Some Dirty Harry movie?
Dr. Archie Morris: No, I think it was a porno.


"ER: ...As the Day She Was Born (#14.15)" (2008)
Dr. Archie Morris: Stop breathing so loud!
Frank Martin: Stop tapping your pen!
Dr. Archie Morris: Mouth-breather!
Frank Martin: Pen-tapping garden gnome!


"ER: Death and Taxes (#10.7)" (2003)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Hey, what the hell you doing here?
Dr. Archie Morris: Working.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I thought you quit.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Oh, my dad wouldn't let me. Said he'd pull the money plug if I didn't see this thing through.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: This thing, meaning a career in medicine?
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah.
Dr. Susan Lewis: What are you doing?
Nurse Samantha Taggart: He just grabbed my ass. Here, take this to church and have it exorcised.
Dr. Robert Romano: That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing director's office 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit!
Dr. Robert Romano: Do you mind?
Dr. Susan Lewis: Yes, I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave!
Dr. Robert Romano: Give me my damned arm back!


"ER: Coming Home (#14.8)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: I will be the keeper of the cheese!


"ER: Oh, Brother (#15.6)" (2008)
[about Chaz]
Dr. Archie Morris: He's smarter than I ever was.
Frank Martin: That ain't saying much.


"ER: What We Do (#15.18)" (2009)
Dr. Archie Morris: That is an ER attending coding on the table, and this is not a teaching case. So please, turn around, walk out, get your attending, and come back now.
Dr. Emily Haverman: I'm sure Dr. Wheeler would prefer if I at least examined...
Dr. Archie Morris: I'm trying to remain professional here, Emily, but if you're not walking away from me within three seconds, I swear to God, I may start doing compressions on your head!


"ER: The Test (#14.6)" (2007)
Dr. Skye Wexler: What kind of creepy loser hangs out in the break room all night, second-guessing the Attendings when he's not even on the schedule? I don't know if I'm being Punk'd, or if you haze all new Attendings this way, but I don't need you double-checking my work. The only reason I am here is to make some extra cash for a surf trip. Come December, I am gone. So you can stop worrying that I'm after your job, or your promotion, or whatever you and your micropenis are so afraid of.
Dr. Archie Morris: Hi. Archie Morris. I have no idea who you are or what you're talking about. Gotta bounce. You good?