Gregory Pratt
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Quotes for
Gregory Pratt (Character)
from "ER" (1994)

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"ER: Parenthood (#13.4)" (2006)
Dr. Archie Morris: [punches Pratt in the arm] Thanks, dog.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: [speaking to Kovac] Did you just see that?
Dr. Luka Kovac: Yep. He's your dog boy.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: He's not my dog and he's not my boy. And you don't use the two together.
Dr. Luka Kovac: I know.

Dr. Luka Kovac: What's wrong with Jane? She's good.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: No, Jane is creepy. I'm serious. She's always sneaking up on me. She's like those twins in "The Shining"

Dr. Gregory Pratt: What are the options with a hemodynamically-stable, wide-complex tachyarrhythmia?
Jane Figler: Lidocaine, if you think v-tach.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: What else?
Jane Figler: [silence]
Dr. Tony Gates: [coughing] Amiodarone!
Jane Figler: Okay, I'm guessing amiodarone.

Dr. Gregory Pratt: What were you doing with a rib spreader?
Dr. Tony Gates: One of your minor victims from the explosion came in with metal wrapped around his leg. It was occluding blood flow to the foot, so I used the rib spreader to pull the metal off. It seemed safer than a blow torch, right?

Dr. Gregory Pratt: What is Morris' problem?
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Brain damage is the first thing that comes to mind.

"ER: Ames v. Kovac (#13.5)" (2006)
[an attractive woman walks by]
Old man: Ooh, boy, if I was 20 years younger...
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You'd still be her granddaddy!

Dr. Gregory Pratt: Gates is a knuckle-head who would defibrillate with a car battery and some jumper cables.

[Abby begins to unbutton her shirt]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Wait, what are you doing?
Dr. Abby Lockhart: I'm pumping. Sorry, my boobs are about to explode!

Dr. Abby Lockhart: [to Gates] Didn't you used to be...
Dr. Tony Gates: A paramedic. Yeah and now I'm an intern.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, and next week he wants to be a cowboy.
Dr. Tony Gates: Astronaut!

"ER: Just a Touch (#10.19)" (2004)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You can pick up your Dr. Greg Pratt fan club ring at the door.

Dr. Kerry Weaver: [a female patient has complained about Pratt's breast exam] Did you TUBE her?
Dr. Greg Pratt: What? Where did you hear that?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam. You made up the term.
Dr. Greg Pratt: First, that term has been around since I was a 3rd year med student. Second, a 35-year-old woman complaining of pain between the third and fourth rib, no evidence of muscle strain and who's never had a mammogram. What would you have done?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: She said you didn't find anything. She also said you seemed to be enjoying it.
Dr. Greg Pratt: And if I had found a lesion, I would be a hero for saving her life. Besides, I did find a small cyst. Come on, Kerry; haven't you ever been turned on while giving a breast exam?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: I'm a woman.
Dr. Greg Pratt: Who dates other women. Come on, can you say it's never happened?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: Uh, leave me out of this; no more TUBEs.

Patient: What happened?
Nurse Samantha Taggart: He fixed your elbow?
Patient: Holy crap, you're good!
Dr. Greg Pratt: You can pick up your Dr. Pratt Fan Club ring at the door.

"ER: Shifts Happen (#10.4)" (2003)
[about Neela]
Rick Mathers: What is she, ten?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: No, almost sixteen!

Jerry Markovic: Pratt, Hampton called from GI. She's not going to see the quarter kid until morning, but she plans on seeing Romano first.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Is that all she said?
Jerry Markovic: No, actually, she said you're an asshole, too. Night!

"ER: Forgive and Forget (#10.16)" (2004)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: We had to open up your chest to bypass the blockage. So, no more nachos. No more peirogis.
Frank Martin: I'm in hell, right? You killed me. You and your faithful Indian companion.

[about Frank]
Neela Rasgotra: Hard to believe he was an officer.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: And a husband and a dad.
Neela Rasgotra: And a bigot.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: That too.

"ER: Chaos Theory (#9.1)" (2002)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: To tell you the truth, I don't know if I could date a chick that was missing pieces.
Dr. John Carter: What if she had a really great personality?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: What, and really big tits?

Dr. Jing-Mei Chen: I'm gonna eat this in bed.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Sounds good to me.
Dr. Jing-Mei Chen: Alone!

"ER: Here and There (#11.16)" (2005)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: When was the last time you went out on a date?
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Why does everybody here think I need to get laid?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Trust me, sometimes it helps.

Dr. Greg Pratt: [about the letter Neela is writing to Gallant] Tell him to hurry up and get his ass back here in one piece. I'm tired of waiting for my rematch. Now let's get back inside.
Neela Rasgotra: [in her letter] Pratt says he misses you.

"ER: You Are Here (#11.20)" (2005)
Dr. Archie Morris: Excuse me everyone, I have an announcement to make... effective immediately, I am your new chief resident!
Dr. Greg Pratt: ...this is a joke, right?

Jerry Markovic: 2 words, Pratt, voice mail.
Dr. John Carter: What's all that?
Dr. Greg Pratt: Friends of mine begging me to go to a party after a long 12 hour shift. That's the problem with the non-medical types, they don't get it.
Dr. Archie Morris: Par-tay tonight at Ike's! The boss man is buying, but dont get used to it. Who's on board?
Dr. John Carter: [aside] Sometimes the medical types don't get it.
Dr. Archie Morris: Ray?
Dr. Ray Barnett: Uh, other plans.
Dr. Archie Morris: Neela?
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: The Apprentice is on.

"ER: From Here to Paternity (#13.17)" (2007)
[Pratt notices that Charlotte has entered the trauma room, where they are working on her dad]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Hey Charlotte, how did you get in here?
Charlotte Paxon: The door.

Dr. Gregory Pratt: You want me to talk to this dude because I'm black.
Dr. Archie Morris: Well, yeah. I mean, you are black, aren't you?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: That's wrong, Morris.
Dr. Archie Morris: What? We do this all the time! If I had a pregnant girl, I might get Abby. Big Croatian, Kovac.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I didn't come to you with my autistic Irish kid.
Dr. Archie Morris: You could've! You should've!

"ER: Things Change (#9.19)" (2003)
Dr. Robert Romano: Congratulations, smart ass. You just bought yourself a month of midnights.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Good. I love the night life.

Dr. Gregory Pratt: Do you know how many patients I'm juggling?
Dr. Kerry Weaver: Not enough if you have time for dancing in the hall.

"ER: Blackout (#14.7)" (2007)
[the rest of the staff doesn't like the singers]
Dr. Tony Gates: Some people actually like it.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Oh yeah, what people?
[Tony indicates to Frank, who is singing along]
Nurse Chuny Marquez: Frank's not people.

Frank Martin: So did the Medical Board make another deadly error in judgment?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yes they have, Frank, I passed.

"ER: Brothers and Sisters (#8.19)" (2002)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You can do the rectal.
Michael Gallant: The rectal?
Dr. John Carter: Play nice, kids. Don't make me stop this trauma.

Dr. Gregory Pratt: I need to clamp off the aorta with... that big-ass clamp!
Dr. John Carter: If you don't know what it's called, then you sure as hell shouldn't be using it!

"ER: Dead Again (#9.2)" (2002)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: So, newbies, huh? You don't wanna work here.

"ER: Impulse Control (#10.14)" (2004)
Nurse Abby Lockhart: What are we gonna throw all our TB patients in jail?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: No, just this one in particular.
Nurse Abby Lockhart: If this is the way we treat people with TB, they're gonna stop coming to this hospital.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Abby, it's not like they all go clubbing together.

"ER: Wake Up (#12.5)" (2005)
[Dr. Pratt is about to give nitroglycerin to Clemente, who is posing as a patient with chest pain]
Dr. Victor Clemente: No... no, I did two lines of coke last night.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: What?
Dr. Victor Clemente: Yeah, and a bottle of tequila.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You did?
Dr. Victor Clemente: Yeah, not to mention three Viagra.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Why didn't you say something?
Dr. Victor Clemente: Aren't you supposed to take my history?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Who are you?
Dr. Victor Clemente: Victor Clemente, your new attending. And congratulations, doc. You just killed me.

"ER: Photographs and Memories (#13.18)" (2007)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Knuckleheads. I'm surrounded by knuckleheads.

"ER: Breach of Trust (#13.12)" (2007)
Sarah Riley: You must be that guy who's always riding Uncle Tony. You know, like a bull in heat?
Dr. Tony Gates: Shh!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: So, uh, what else does Uncle Tony say about me?
Sarah Riley: The rest I'm not allowed to say.

"ER: There Are No Angels Here (#12.20)" (2006)
Dr. Stephen Dakarai: She asked if we were angels. I said There are no Angels here.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Speak for yourself.

"ER: Skye's the Limit (#14.9)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: [flexing his arms] Check out these guns!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Those are more like water pistols.

"ER: Freefall (#10.8)" (2003)
Dr. Elizabeth Corday: Is he squeamish?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: No, just stupid.

"ER: Under the Influence (#14.5)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: Okay, you're feeling some pressure? Excellent. Name me three bacteria for neonatal sepsis.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Bend over and kiss my ass.
Dr. Archie Morris: Those are not bacteria!

"ER: City of Mercy (#13.11)" (2006)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Go ahead, you can gloat now. Tell me all about what a great manager you are. "I saved Jerry, I diagnosed D.I.D., yadda yadda."
Dr. Archie Morris: Know what? I'm gonna go with humility this time. For real.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Humili-what?

"ER: Refusal of Care (#11.18)" (2005)
Dr. Ray Barnett: [Ray's patient has cancer] Well, that sucks. She's a nice lady.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, I hear that's a risk factor for cancer.

"ER: Abby Normal (#10.20)" (2004)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Let me guess... whatever you geeks were doing up there is strictly illegal.
Colin: No, it's - i - it's legitimate science, word.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Did you just say "word" to me?
Yuri: Uh, well, uh, it wasn't exactly authorized.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: So we're saving lives, and you're up there playing Jekyll and Hyde. Wanna tell me what it was?
Yuri: Just... we don't wanna get kicked out.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Forget it. Just hang down here for 20 minutes. Then you can get back to wiring electrodes to your nuts for all I care.

"ER: Graduation Day (#13.2)" (2006)
[Pratt comes over with a lab coat]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yo Gates! You want me to take this or put it in the lost and found for you?
Dr. Tony Gates: Oh, I don't do the whites. I'm into natural fibers.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You know, Gates, you've always bugged me. But you're in my ER now, so put on the damn coat.

"ER: Owner of a Broken Heart (#14.14)" (2008)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: [Two elderly patients start bickering] Larry, Laverne, they're all yours.
Dr. Simon Brenner: You think those two can handle it
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, I think they could handle a lot if you'd let them.
Dr. Simon Brenner: That's right you said that before.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You know, no disrespect Brenner, but you're making it real hard for me to respect you. You're taking the procedures away from the residents, you're not even letting them do physicals.
Dr. Simon Brenner: They don't know what they're doing.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: They've been to med school.
Dr. Simon Brenner: So what, look you've either got it or you don't.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Excuse me?
Dr. Simon Brenner: You know what I'm talking about. Some people catch on, other people never get it.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah but it's our job to train them.
Dr. Simon Brenner: That is sweet Greg, but it's also a complete waste of time.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Are you serious?
Dr. Simon Brenner: Look, I teach people that can benefit.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: And what about Larry and Laverne?
Dr. Simon Brenner: They're, they're adorable, and eager, and absolutely clueless. Look I could spoon feed them everything I know, and it'd just pass straight through them like a bad case of cholera.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: And so what do you suggest instead?
Dr. Simon Brenner: Encourage them to find new careers.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I don't know where you came from, but this is a teaching hospital. So if you can't accept the fact that everybody needs to learn, then you don't belong here.
Dr. Simon Brenner: Okay, sorry, remind me again Greg, you're not the chief of the department, right?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: No I'm not.
Dr. Simon Brenner: Okay, that's great. So you do things your way, and I'll stick with the way that works. Now, my shift's over, it's been an absolute pleasure, but I gotta go, I got a date, I got two actually.
[Dr. Brenner walks out of the room]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Hey I'm not the only one that thinks...
Dr. Simon Brenner: Night, Dr. Pratt

"ER: When Night Meets Day (#9.21)" (2003)
Anna: No, I don't have gallstones!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Fatty foods bring out the pain.
Anna: I didn't even have dinner. I just had some pie!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: How much pie?
Anna: You know... a pie!

"ER: Next of Kin (#9.9)" (2002)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: A 12-year-old cross-dresser?
Erin Harkins: All I know is that, anatomically, she's a he.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: And you're sure about that?
Erin Harkins: I've seen my fair share of penises.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Really?

"ER: Heart of the Matter (#13.6)" (2006)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Dawn, meet Josie Weller.
Josie Weller: Delightful to meet you! I've been so looking forward to this day!
Nurse Dawn Archer: We're going to radiology, not Disneyland.
Josie Weller: Marvelous squared!

"ER: Status Quo (#14.11)" (2008)
Jeanie Boulet: You're not so bad, Dr. Pratt.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I know. It usually takes people a while, but I eventually win them over.

"ER: The Chicago Way (#14.19)" (2008)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Hey, Abby. It's a beautiful spring day, the Cubs are playing at Wrigley Field, and we live in America.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: I think I solved the case of the missing Lexapro.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Sorry. I was looking for some un-depressed person that I could be happy around, and uh... heh.
Dr. Abby Lockhart: You chose me? Must be slim pickings.

"ER: No Place to Hide (#12.19)" (2006)
[Pratt is on his way to Darfur]
Vatima Abika: It's a lot.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, well... I work in Chicago, at County ER. I've treated hundreds of gunshot wounds, knife wounds, domestic violence... I think I know my way around.
Vatima Abika: AIDS, malaria, dysentery... two million people homeless, not to mention the nearly 400,000 already slaughtered. Boys, babies, tossed onto bonfires. Women and young girls raped, sometimes by men, sometimes by bayonet. The work of gangs, all things you have seen. But in Darfur, it's political, and on a massive scale. And while this insanity rages on and on and on, the rest of the world continues its debate: is it or is it not genocide? This is not debate. This is paralysis. Can you treat that, Dr. Pratt? Can you cure paralysis?

"ER: Two Ships (#12.8)" (2005)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: OK, I'm going out with Pickman.
Dr. Victor Clemente: Congratulations, have her home by ten.

"ER: Gravity (#14.4)" (2007)
Dr. Archie Morris: I'm getting my pretty boy on for my last night with Hope. I ordered the works package. I can't wait.
Frank Martin: It's gonna take more than the works to save that mug of yours.
Javier: Oh my God, so mean.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: That's his baseline. You'll get used to it.

"ER: NICU (#10.12)" (2004)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: When'd you start your rotation?
Nurse Abby Lockhart: Five minutes ago.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Well, the NICU's great. Intubations, chest-tubes, umbilical lines. You get to do all sorts of teeny-tiny kick-ass procedures.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Good luck, you two!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, you're gonna love it! Let's get out of here.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: I hate the NICU.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Those guys are screwed.

"ER: I Don't (#13.21)" (2007)
[Greg is giving a toast]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You guys know me, I've never been married before.
Dr. Archie Morris: But he's dated women who were!
[crowd laughs]
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Leave your mom out of it, Morris!
Crowd: Ohhhh!
Dr. Archie Morris: Okay, okay, what's the difference between an ER nurse and a Porsche, Sam?

"ER: In a Different Light (#14.2)" (2007)
[Frank is looking up the genealogy of everyone in the ER]
Frank Martin: Hey Pratt, mazel tov!
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You having a stroke, Frank?
Frank Martin: Did you know that your great-great-great-grandmother on your mother's side was an Ethiopian Jew?
Dr. Archie Morris: Wow, black and Jewish. You're like County's own Sammy Davis, Jr.

"ER: Bloodline (#13.1)" (2006)
Dr. Neela Rasgotra: What about Abby?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: They found her in a pool of blood.

"ER: Under Pressure (#14.17)" (2008)
Dr. Simon Brenner: What's the rush, Dr. Pratt?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: It's a personal appointment.
Dr. Simon Brenner: How much is she?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Ha, ha, ha. Luckily, your mom gives me a discount.

"ER: Man with No Name (#12.3)" (2005)
[a patients father has fought with Luka]
Dr. Gregory Pratt: How you doing?
Dr. Luka Kovac: That floor came out of nowhere.

"ER: Death and Taxes (#10.7)" (2003)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Hey, what the hell you doing here?
Dr. Archie Morris: Working.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I thought you quit.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Oh, my dad wouldn't let me. Said he'd pull the money plug if I didn't see this thing through.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: This thing, meaning a career in medicine?
Dr. Archie Morris: Yeah.
Dr. Susan Lewis: What are you doing?
Nurse Samantha Taggart: He just grabbed my ass. Here, take this to church and have it exorcised.
Dr. Robert Romano: That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing director's office 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you.
Nurse Samantha Taggart: Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit!
Dr. Robert Romano: Do you mind?
Dr. Susan Lewis: Yes, I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave!
Dr. Robert Romano: Give me my damned arm back!

"ER: Out of Africa (#10.5)" (2003)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Morris, you bailing? Let him walk. Don't miss your train, sweetie.

"ER: Insurrection (#9.3)" (2002)
Dr. Jing-Mei Chen: You think this is a pinkie or a ring?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Looks like a cocktail weenie.

"ER: The Greater Good (#10.6)" (2003)
Dr. Gregory Pratt: She was my patient!
Dr. Luka Kovac: Yes, and if I hadn't treated her, she would still be here. Now she's at home and feeling better.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: So, that's it? This is how I'm supposed to learn? Either I do it your way or you take it away from me?
Dr. Luka Kovac: Pratt, I'm trying to teach you the way you practice medicine here is inefficient.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Oh, and letting babies die is?
Dr. Luka Kovac: You really think you saved that kid today? For what? 24-hours nursing care. He's probably gonna require a lifetime committment. Are you gonna be around to give it to him?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Listen, I'm sorry I'm not in some mud-hut doing amputations with a pocketknife. We have the technology and expertise to give that kid a chance! What's the sense in having it if we don't use it?
Dr. Luka Kovac: That kid has about a 5% chance of having a normal life. You have any idea how many other kids we could have treated with those resources?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I do everything I can for my patients! That's how I practice medicine. This is Chicago, not the damned Congo. Maybe you should go back to Africa.
Dr. Luka Kovac: Maybe you should go to Africa.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: I know you didn't just say that to me.
Dr. Luka Kovac: Maybe then you'd learn that there's more to being a doctor than ordering tests and calling consults for every patient just to cover your ass.

"ER: Somebody to Love (#13.3)" (2006)
Hector Rodriguez: Who's touching my dick?
Dr. Gregory Pratt: Not me, Cue Ball. That was only one time, and I was extremely lonely.

"ER: Murmurs of the Heart (#13.14)" (2007)
Pastor Watkins: Isaiah knew when the spirit of God would unburden the brokenhearted. Give strength to the meek, open the prisons so the captives could go free.
Dr. Gregory Pratt: You sound like the love child of David Koresh and Al Sharpton. You realize that, right?