Stanford Blatch
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Quotes for
Stanford Blatch (Character)
from "Sex and the City" (1998)

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"Sex and the City: The Real Me (#4.2)" (2001)
Stanford: [watching a runway-fallen Carrie get stepped over by Heidi Klum] Oh, my god, she's fashion roadkill!

Stanford: [eyeing an attractive man at a club] Do you think he's a model?
Carrie: A model what? A model citizen? A model home? A model airplane?
Stanford: I think he's the dirty-haired Gucci guy - with clean hair.

Carrie: Why don't you go over and say hello?
Stanford: Oh, he's gorgeous. The only way I could get a guy like that interested in me, would be to pay him.
Carrie: Stanford, my love, there is no need for you to enter Hookerville.
Stanford: [dejected] Carrie - I *know* what I look like.
Carrie: Then you can't see what I see.
[kisses his cheek]

"Sex and the City: Boy, Interrupted (#6.10)" (2003)
Carrie: You know what the craziest thing is? I actually thought after everything I've been through, I might end up with my high school boyfriend. Yeah, I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that.
Stanford: Your boyfriend might get tied up.
Carrie: ...and taken away! Okay, no more jokes. I might be dating him in eight to ten months.

Stanford: I missed my prom in high school because...
Anthony Marantino: You were gay.
Stanford: No. My girlfriend and I broke up the night before because...
Anthony Marantino: You were gay.
Stanford: No. I wasn't gay until...
Anthony Marantino: You were born.
Stanford: Never mind.

"Sex and the City: Models and Mortals (#1.2)" (1998)
Carrie Bradshaw: Is he gay?
Stanford Blatch: He denies it. How can anyone that gorgeous be straight?

Stanford Blatch: How could you!
Carrie Bradshaw: I didn't. We just talked.
Stanford Blatch: Oh, I knew he was gay.

"Sex and the City: Politically Erect (#3.2)" (2000)
Stanford: I can only stay a few minutes. I got tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Carrie: Why?
Stanford: Just because I don't eat at the restaurant doesn't mean I can't hear the specials.

Sex and the City 2 (2010)
Carrie Bradshaw: So does he really get to cheat?
Stanford Blatch: Yes, but only in the 45 states where our marriage isn't legal.

"Sex and the City: The Monogamists (#1.7)" (1998)
Carrie: [voice over narration] Samantha didn't believe in monogamy, especially when it came to real estate agents.
Rick Connelly: This is a pre-war six. Notice the classic lines. Very solidly built.
Carrie: [voice over narration] Although Pamela had the hottest contacts in town, Rick did have a slight competitive edge. He gave Samantha the opportunity to combine her two greatest loves: sex and real estate. That afternoon I dragged my poor tortured soul out to lunch with Stanford Blatch, and attempted to stun it senseless with cosmopolitans.
Stanford Blatch: Monogamy is on its way out again. It had a brief comeback in the nineties, but as the millennium approaches, everyone's leaving their options open.
Carrie: Come on, you wouldn't commit to a nice guy, given the option?
Stanford Blatch: I can't even commit to a long distance carrier.
Carrie: Yeah, you know what you are? You're a whore!
Stanford Blatch: I wish that were true.