Carrie Bradshaw
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Quotes for
Carrie Bradshaw (Character)
from "Sex and the City" (1998)

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Sex and the City (2008)
Carrie Bradshaw: Some labels are best left in the closet.

Carrie Bradshaw: And we were dressed from head to toe in love... the only label that never goes out of style.

Resort Worker: Very good, Mrs. Preston.
[walks away from table]
Carrie Bradshaw: [gives blank look] That was like taking a bullet.

Miranda Hobbes: [at a bar, drinking Cosmopolitans] Why did we ever stop drinking these?
Carrie Bradshaw: Because everyone else started!

Carrie Bradshaw: Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants.

Samantha Jones: I can't color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box
Carrie Bradshaw: We get it! You like to color...

Carrie Bradshaw: When Big colors... he rarely stays within the lines.

Carrie Bradshaw: Women come to New York for the two L's: Labels and Love.

Carrie Bradshaw: I thought I'd still be in extreme pain. But I feel nothing. I'd like some more nothing.
[Miranda pours her some more Skyy vodka]

Carrie Bradshaw: What does your gut tell you?

Samantha Jones: [hands Carrie her iPhone, which Carrie returns somewhat disgusted]
Carrie Bradshaw: I don't know how to work this!

Carrie Bradshaw: It's the last single girl kiss.

Charlotte York: I always knew she'd marry Big.
Samantha Jones: You thought that after the second break up?
Charlotte York: Yep.
Miranda Hobbes: After the fifteenth?
Carrie Bradshaw: Ha ha, we broke up a lot.

Miranda Hobbes: The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh you just said a mouthful there sister.

Carrie Bradshaw: Well, honey, what have you been eating?
Samantha Jones: Everything except Dante's dick.

Carrie Bradshaw: Lets go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my Mexi-coma.
Samantha Jones: Aww, you made a little joke. Good for you!

Miranda Hobbes: Is it just me or is Valentine's Day on steroids this year?
Carrie Bradshaw: No it's the same, we just played for the other team.

Anthony Marentino: The invitations are fancier than the dress.
Carrie Bradshaw: I heard that.
Anthony Marentino: I meant you to!

Carrie Bradshaw: Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. I think you're done.

Carrie Bradshaw: You brought me back to life.

Carrie Bradshaw: Yes, the honeymoon to a romantic Mexican resort that I prepaid on my credit card to surprise the man who jilted me.

Carrie Bradshaw: I know, my head's in the Witness Protection Program.

Carrie Bradshaw: I put a bird on my head.

Carrie Bradshaw: I let the wedding get bigger than Big.

Carrie Bradshaw: What makes you think something bad is gonna happen?
Charlotte York: Because! Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.
Carrie Bradshaw: Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. I think you're done.

Carrie Bradshaw: New York Magazine says Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.
Miranda Hobbes: Yes, but whoever wrote that lives in Brooklyn.

Carrie Bradshaw: It wasn't logic, it was love.

Mr. Big: You make me very happy.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, yeah... put it in writing.

Carrie Bradshaw: Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories
Carrie Bradshaw: But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love.

Carrie Bradshaw: They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.

Carrie Bradshaw: [braces herself in the door, bows] Hello... I live here!

Mr. Big: Would you want to get married?
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, I didn't, didn't think that was an option.
Mr. Big: What if it was an option?
Carrie Bradshaw: Why? What? Do you want to get married?
Mr. Big: I wouldn't mind being married to you. Would you mind being married to me?
Carrie Bradshaw: No, no, not, not if that's what you wanted. I mean, is, is that what you want?
Mr. Big: I want you. So, ok.
Carrie Bradshaw: So really, we're, we're getting married?
Mr. Big: We're getting married. Should we get you a diamond?
Carrie Bradshaw: No. No. Just get me a really big closet.

Carrie Bradshaw: Maybe you're only alloted a certain amount of tears per man; and I've used mine up.

[first lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover] Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York City in search of the two L's: labels and love.

[last lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover] And there, in the same city where they met as girls, four New York women entered the next phase of their lives dressed head to toe in love. And that's the one label that never goes out of style.

Carrie Bradshaw: He's my boyfriend.
Mr. Big: Aren't I a little old to be introduced as your boyfriend?
Carrie Bradshaw: Point taken. From now on you'll be my man-friend.
Mr. Big: That sounds like a dog.
Carrie Bradshaw: Well if the shoe fits.

Carrie Bradshaw: Aside from the space issue... why'd you move to New York?
Louise: fall in love.

"Sex and the City: Three's a Crowd (#1.8)" (1998)
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: I didn't know you were into children's books.
Carrie: Well, who doesn't love children's books?
Carrie: [in her head] Five minutes of bodice-ripping material out the window. So, I did what any writer would do... I pulled an idea out of my ass.
Carrie: Well, my story's about a little girl... named Cathy. Little Cathy.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: And what makes Little Cathy special?
Carrie: Well, um, she has these magic...
[looks at cigarettes in her purse]
Carrie: ...cigarettes.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: She has magic cigarettes?
Carrie: Yes, "Little Cathy and Her Magic Cigarettes". And whenever she lights up, she can go anywhere in the whole wide world. Like Arabia or New Jersey! Of course that's going to be worked out.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: You want to write a children's book about smoking?
Carrie: Yes, it's a children's book for adults.

[first lines]
Carrie: [voice over narration] Once upon a time in a magical land called Manhattan a young woman fell in love. Charlotte and Jack locked eyes at a black tie benefit for Epstein/Barr. She chased him through every disease in New York. They've been officially dating since retinus pigmentosis. Jack was perfect for her. Architect, philanthropist, and the sex was amazing. Late one night, Jack popped the inevitable question.
Jack: So... what are you fantasies?
Charlotte York: Oh, God. I'd love to own my own gallery, and maybe a little cottage in Maine.
Jack: Well, actually I meant more like uh, screwing in an airplane bathroom kind of fantasies.
Charlotte York: Oh? Um...
Carrie: [voice over narration] The closest Charlotte had ever come to getting screwed on a plane was the time she lost all her luggage in a flight from Palm Beach.

Charlotte York: Jack wants us to do a threesome.
Miranda: Of course he does. Every guy does.
Samantha Jones: Threesomes are huge right now. They're the blow job of the nineties.
Charlotte York: What was the blow job of the eighties?
Samantha Jones: Anal sex.
Carrie: Any sex, period.
Miranda: Don't let him pressure you into it. It's just this guy's cheap ploy to watch you be a lesbian for a night.
Samantha Jones: Don't knock it till you tried it.

Carrie: Well, I've never done a threesome.
Samantha Jones: Come on, of course you haven't. You in a threesome? You won't even wear a thong!

Samantha Jones: [Discussing whom to call into the threesome] Just make sure that the other woman isn't a friend. Use somebody random, you know, somebody you meet in a bar or something.
Miranda: That's romantic!
Charlotte York: No, I think that I'd feel safer with a friend. With someone I could trust, like Carrie.
Carrie: Oh, gee, I'm flattered. But umm, I'd go with someone who has a little more experience, like Sam.
Samantha Jones: Well, thanks. But there is something sexy about a first-timer like Charlotte.
Charlotte York: Really?
Miranda: [feeling out of the loop] Oh great, no, forget about me.
Samantha Jones, Charlotte York, Carrie: Oh, come on!
Miranda: You know, I'd do it with you guys. It's like, it's like picking teams for dodge ball all over again.
Carrie: [voice over narration] Was Samantha right? Were threesomes the new sexual frontier? No question. Guys were infatuated with threesomes. And when I started looking, they were everywhere. After all, our lives are built on threesomes. Fat, low-fat, non-fat. First, Business, Economy. Moe, Larry, Curly. Maybe we were never meant to do it with only one other person. Maybe threesomes were the relationship of the future. Meanwhile, Samantha had been busy guest starring in a show I like to call 'Sam Does The Married Guy'.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Ken was thirty seven, a wine importer, unhappily married to a woman who designed modular office furniture. This affair was the most exciting thing that happened to him since the ninety-four Montrachet. Five, hours later, Charlotte's night was just beginning. She and Jack had just had another fantastic date, dancing for dyslexia.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Who knows whether it was her vodka or her vibe, but Charlotte suddenly did feel a little warm.

Carrie: [voice over narration] That night, she had an eye-opening experience. Charlotte hadn't been that excited since she tried on her JV cheerleading uniform for the first time.

Shrink: So what do you think your dream meant?
Miranda: I'm in a sandbox with Charlotte, Sam, and Carrie, and none of them will play with me. Please, it's obvious.
Carrie: [voice over narration] Across town, Miranda was dealing with her own nightmare.
Miranda: Look, I know it's juvenile, but it bothers me. I'm attractive, I'm smart, right? Plenty of people should want me for a threesome.

Carrie: Dreams are a really good way to experiment. It's like a... it's like buying a dress and keeping the tags on.
Charlotte York: Do you think it means I should do it? Have a threesome? Jack says that I have a fire inside me.
Carrie: You tell him they make a cream for that.
Charlotte York: I'm serious!
Carrie: I know, but it's your call. Don't do it just to make Jack happy.
Charlotte York: But maybe it would bring us closer.
Carrie: Sweetie, don't you think it's weird that you're thinking of sleeping with someone you don't know, to get closer to Jack?
Charlotte York: But how well do we ever know the people we sleep with?
Carrie: [voice over narration] That was the thing about Charlotte. Just when you were about to write her off as a Park Avenue Pollyanna, she'd say something so right on, you'd think she was the Dalai Lama.
Charlotte York: Do you think my hair is too shiny today?
Carrie: [voice over narration] And then she'd say something else.
Charlotte York: Do you?
Carrie: [voice over narration] But the bigger question remained: if Charlotte was actually considering a threesome, who wasn't? The Village Voice had more ads for looking for threesomes than it did for small rat-infested studios renting at a thousand a month. But who actually answered these ads?

Carrie: [voice over narration] I seemed to be the only person in New York who still believed in the one-on-one relationship. Mr. Big and I were actually doing sleep-overs.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Why is it that putting a tie around a man's neck is sometimes even sexier than taking it off?
Mr. Big: What are you doing for lunch today? I could maybe swing an hour between meetings.
Carrie: No, sorry. I can't. I have to interview someone.
Mr. Big: About what?
Carrie: Threesomes. Ever done one?
Mr. Big: Sure. Who hasn't?
Carrie: Really? With who?
Mr. Big: My ex-wife.
Carrie: [voice over narration] Suddenly my column was the last thing on my mind.

Samantha Jones: This is ideal No muss, no fuss.
Carrie: Sounds like you're selling toilet bowl cleaner.
Miranda: Does this color turn you on?
Samantha Jones: [voice over narration] You had to hand it to Miranda. She was determined.

Carrie: [voice over narration] It was the last straw, she was smart, beautiful, and she got me. I'd have to kill her. Meanwhile, Samantha was about to have her own close encounter with the third kind.

Carrie: [voice over narration] That afternoon was a first for Samantha. She successfully screwed a guy in under two minutes. The more Miranda analysed, the worse her nightmares got.
Miranda: So the four of us get in a cab, only they won't let me sit in the back with them. They make me ride up front with the drive who happens to be the original Chris from 'The Partridge Family'.

Carrie: [voice over narration] That night, I thought I could put the whole Barbara thing out of my mind. After all, Mr. Big was with me now.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: Nibbling his ear lobes? How sweet. Let me show you how it's really done.
Carrie: [voice over narration] So I guess you couldn't avoid a threesome. Because even if you're the only person in the bed, someone has always been there before you.
Mr. Big: Hey, what just happened? Where'd you go?
Carrie: Preoccupied.
Mr. Big: No kidding. About what?
Carrie: [voice over narration] Your ex-wife's breasts, your ex-wife's lips, your ex-wife's long legs.
Carrie: ... My column.
Mr. Big: You know, I didn't tell you I was married because it was a long time ago.
Carrie: What happened?
Mr. Big: Alienation of affection, followed by divorce. Let's not talk about the past, please.
Carrie: [voice over narration] What Mr. Big didn't realise was the past was sleeping right next to me. The next day the flesh and blood Barbara asked me to lunch.

Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: Listen I have some not great news.
Carrie: [voice over narration] I'm back with Mr. Big!
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: The head guys didn't go for Little Cathy. But fuck 'em, they wouldn't know a good book if it bit 'em in the ass.
Carrie: Yeah, fuck 'em.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: I still love the project, and at the risk of sounding like a groupie, I'd really like it if we could become friends.
Carrie: Friends?
[voice over narration]
Carrie: Two hours and four chardoney's later, I was sleeping with the enemy.

Carrie: [voice over narration] That night at the attention deficit disorder masquerade ball, Charlotte felt free to indulge her fantasy. It's amazing what some sequins on a stick can do to free up inhibitions.
Jack: So... who here is your type?
Charlotte York: Do you like peacocks?
Jack: Do you?
Carrie: [voice over narration] Then Charlotte did the unthinkable.

Carrie: [voice over narration] She realised that this was her moment. If she was going to take the plunge, it was now or never. Unfortunately it was Jack who plunged first. Apparently someone else's fire was a little stronger than Charlotte's. She was not the guest star in this fantasy. Meanwhile, at a bar downtown...

Carrie: [voice over narration] That night Miranda finally got her validation. Her shrink has suggested she comes three times a week. I didn't see Mr. Big for eight days.

"Sex and the City: The Monogamists (#1.7)" (1998)
Carrie: I've done the merry go round I've been through the revolving door I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and... don't you wanna stand still with me?
Big: You dragged me out to a park at three in the morning to ask me if I wanna stand still with you?
Carrie: ...Yes.

[first lines]
Carrie: [voice over narration] The Island Of Manhattan is a cosy village populated by more than seven million fascinating individuals who all behave like they own the sidewalk. But lately it seemed as if the entire city had been magically reduced to only two people... us. Four-hour conversations flew by in the space of fifteen minutes, and a few days apart felt like weeks. I realised that Einstein's law of relativity would have to be amended to include a special set of rules, those to explain the peculiar effects of infatuation.

Carrie: [on the phone] I can't believe it's been so long. I've been meaning to call you, I've just been...
Miranda Hobbes: Fucking your brains out?
Carrie: Yeah, well, that's the least of it.

Carrie: [voice over narration] As I hung up, I realized I'd committed the cardinal sin... I'd forsaken my girlfriends for my new boyfriend. That night I faced the tribunal.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Last night, after Michael took Charlotte to the Philharmonic, they went back to his place and began the classic dating ritual... the blow job tug of war.

[Talking about oral sex]
Charlotte York: The truth is, I hate doing it.
Samantha Jones: Honey, you can't be serious!
Miranda Hobbes: Are you telling us you never perform this act?
Carrie: She'll juggle, she'll spin plates, but she won't give head.
Charlotte York: I don't like putting it in my mouth! I have a very sensitive gag reflex and it makes me want to puke!
Miranda Hobbes: That's one way to say no.
Charlotte York: It's not like I haven't tried. I practiced on a banana, I pretended it was a Popsicle, but... I just don't like it.
Miranda Hobbes: Personally, I'm loving it, up to the point where the guy wants me to swallow.
Carrie: Well that's just, that's really a judgment call.
Samantha Jones: Some men just take it so personally if you don't.
Miranda Hobbes: Some guys don't give you a choice!
Carrie: Well that's just bad behavior.
Charlotte York: Are you honestly telling me you like it?
Carrie: Well, it's not my favorite thing on the menu, but you know, I'll order it from time to time, and, with the right guy, it can be nice.
Miranda Hobbes: Oral sex is like God's gift to women. - You can get off without worrying about getting pregnant.
Samantha Jones: Plus the sense of power is such a turn-on, maybe you're on your knees, but you got him by the balls.
Charlotte York: You see, that is the reason that I don't want to go down this road.
Carrie: Well sweetheart, if you're gonna get all choked up about it...
[Carrie and Miranda exchange looks about the pun]
Carrie: , just don't do it, don't do it!
Miranda Hobbes: But if you don't go down on him, how can you expect him to go down on you?
Charlotte York: I don't.
Miranda Hobbes: Oh, well, forget it! I only give head to get head!
Samantha Jones: Me, too.

Carrie: [voice over narration] True, we had never discussed exclusivity. But while for me, the idea of seeing another man would be trying to fit another outfit into an already over-stuffed suitcase, Big was happily dating another woman like it was the most natural thing in the world. Is it that men have an innate aversion to monogamy, or is it more than that? I wondered. In a city like New York, with its infinite possibilities, has monogamy become to much to expect?

Carrie: [voice over narration] Samantha didn't believe in monogamy, especially when it came to real estate agents.
Rick Connelly: This is a pre-war six. Notice the classic lines. Very solidly built.
Carrie: [voice over narration] Although Pamela had the hottest contacts in town, Rick did have a slight competitive edge. He gave Samantha the opportunity to combine her two greatest loves: sex and real estate. That afternoon I dragged my poor tortured soul out to lunch with Stanford Blatch, and attempted to stun it senseless with cosmopolitans.
Stanford Blatch: Monogamy is on its way out again. It had a brief comeback in the nineties, but as the millennium approaches, everyone's leaving their options open.
Carrie: Come on, you wouldn't commit to a nice guy, given the option?
Stanford Blatch: I can't even commit to a long distance carrier.
Carrie: Yeah, you know what you are? You're a whore!
Stanford Blatch: I wish that were true.

Carrie: [voice over narration] What was happening to me? I used to get a secret rush on men who hit on me during their fifteen minutes of fame. In this case, it merely felt exhausting.

Carrie: [aside to the camera] I was striving for noncommittal, but I was worried I had just bordered on shrill.

Carrie: [voice over narration] There were so many questions I wanted him to answer, but would not ask. Not tonight at least. No, tonight I would ask Miranda.
[to Miranda]
Carrie: He said, "I miss you, baby." Do you think that was meant to be some kind of coded mea culpa?
Miranda Hobbes: You mean like what he really meant was, "I've been a complete idiot. Please forgive me for having dinner with that other woman."?
Carrie: Exactly.
Miranda Hobbes: Could be.
Carrie: Well no, because that would mean that everything he ever said that I interpreted as sincere is subject to interpretation, and in that case, what I perceive as his feelings for me may only really be reflected projections of my feelings for him.
Miranda Hobbes: What?
Carrie: Oh God, I'm freaking. I've gotta stop. Stop.

Carrie: [voice over narration] As Skipper rededicated his singular affection for Miranda, Charlotte was receiving her own declaration of monogamy.

Carrie: [voice over narration] And while Charlotte embraced fidelity, and Samantha flaunted her infidelity... I felt myself caught somewhere in between.

Carrie: [voice over narration] I felt like a fool. I had gone so far out on a limb with my feelings that I didn't realise I was standing out there alone. When life gets this confusing, sometimes there's only one thing to do, attend a fabulous party.

Carrie: [voice over narration] In a room where everyone was gorgeous, cool, and under thirty, monogamy suddenly became to seem like a quaint notion.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Michael was upset, but Butterscotch seemed pleased. She was finally back in her monogamous relationship. Half past midnight. In a city that never sleeps, neither did the real estate market.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Two a.m., and I already had a new man in my life.

Carrie: [voice over narration] Forty five minutes later, I realised I was alone in a park at three a.m. And that it was time to call it a night.

Carrie: [voice over narration] In a city of infinite options, sometimes there's no better feeling than knowing you only have one.

Jared: The best part about being a published author, besides the universal validation, is the knowledge that I am pumping my ideas into the mainstream.
Carrie: I thought it was that you could behave like an utter ass hole and people would find it amusing.
Jared: I love you, you know that? I'm like, fucking in love with you.
[Carrie laughs]
Jared: Will you go home with me?

"Sex and the City: Models and Mortals (#1.2)" (1998)
[first lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] Last night my friend Miranda got invited to a dinner party by a man she hardly knew. She was the date of Nick Waxler, a fairly successful sports agent who'd said she had nice legs.
Nick Waxler: Okay, old movies you would have liked to fuck when they were young.
Miranda Hobbes: Alive or dead?
Nick Waxler: It doesn't matter. Veronica Lake, the year she made 'Sullivan's Travels'.

Miranda Hobbes: If men like Nick are dating models, what chance do ordinary women have? I mean, do you have to be a supermodel to get a date in New York?
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] Modelizers are a particular breed. They're a step beyond womanizers, who will sleep with just about anything in a skirt. Modelizers are obsessed, not with women, but with models, who in most cities are safely confined to billboards and magazines, but in Manhattan, actually run wild on the streets, turning the city into a virtual Model Country Safari where men can pet the creatures in their natural habitat. As if we didn't have enough problems!

Nick Waxler: My friends think I'm shallow. Sometimes I think they're right. Other times I think, "Hey, I'm fucking a model".
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] I couldn't believe it. The man had slept with half the perfume ads in September's 'Vogue'.

Carrie Bradshaw: Do you have a light?
Barkley: Yeah, sure.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] I believe there is a curse put on the head of anybody who tries to fix up their friends.

Carrie Bradshaw: Is he gay?
Stanford Blatch: He denies it. How can anyone that gorgeous be straight?

Carrie Bradshaw: So, wait, what happened you couldn't find seats right on the runway?
Samantha Jones: Oh, you can see all the flaws from this angle.

Samantha Jones: [about Barkely] Is he dating any one model in particular?
Carrie Bradshaw: Actually, he's sleeping with all of them in general.

Mr. Big: I started reading your column after we met.
Carrie Bradshaw: You did?
Mr. Big: Yeah, cute.
Carrie Bradshaw: "Cute."
Mr. Big: Well... Yeah, cute. What are you writing about this week?
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, I'm working on a story about men who date models. Any thoughts?
Mr. Big: Only that they're very lucky.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] It was hard to imagine that anyone so beautiful could ever be lonely.

Stanford Blatch: How could you!
Carrie Bradshaw: I didn't. We just talked.
Stanford Blatch: Oh, I knew he was gay.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] I began to realize that being beautiful is like having a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park: completely unfair and usually bestowed upon those who deserve it least.

[last lines]
Mr. Big: Although there are so many god damn gorgeous women out there in this city.
Carrie Bradshaw: What an amazing observation.
Mr. Big: But the thing is this, after a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh. Know what I mean? Okay, see ya.
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] I take that back... Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.

"Sex and the City: Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys (#1.4)" (1998)
Miranda Hobbes: If he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or respect you less? That's the issue.
Taxi Driver: [to Carrie] No smoking in the cab.
Carrie: Sir, we're talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.
Samantha Jones: Front, back, who cares? A hole is a hole.
Miranda Hobbes: Can I quote you?
Samantha Jones: Don't be so judgmental. You could use a little back door.
Charlotte: I'm not a hole.
Carrie: Honey, we know.

[first lines]
Carrie: [narrating voice over] Once upon a time... in a kingdom faraway, a certain man and a slightly less certain woman kept bumping into one other. They seemed to meet everywhere. On street corners. At parties. It was almost as if they were dating accidentally. And then, after another chance meeting, at a wealthy lawyer's new son's rbis, they decided to pick a time to bump into each other on purpose.

Carrie: Alright, so officially he's late.
Charlotte: Who?
Miranda Hobbes: Mr. Big, who else?
Charlotte: Carrie, that's great! Is it a date?
Carrie: No, he called it a "thing". He said, meet me... meet me for a drink "thing". He never used the "D" word.
Charlotte: Well, "thing" is good. I mean, "thing" comes before date.

[listens to a message from Big on her answering machine]
Carrie: Oh, something came up. He's not gonna meet me. Here, will you listen to this and tell me if you can figure out whether he's not meeting me as a date, or not meeting me as a friend?
[Miranda takes the phone]
Miranda Hobbes: Alright.
Carrie: [narrating voiceover] Sometimes, you need a second opinion; with doctors, real estate... men!
[to Miranda]
Carrie: Well?
Miranda Hobbes: I have no idea. And I finished first in my litigation class.

Mr. Big: I've been looking all over for you - here you are, holding a tongue.
Carrie: Well, your message said you weren't coming.
Mr. Big: I thought I said I'd try to make it for an hour.
Carrie: Well, yeah, but then you said that...
Mr. Big: What? What did I say?
Carrie: Never mind, never mind. You're here, you have an hour. Let's have a drink.
Mr. Big: Well, I was outside trying to get in for thirty minutes, and inside looking for you for twenty minutes, so that leaves me with just enough time to tell you that, I'm out of time. You have fun.
Carrie: [narrating voice over] Men in their forties are like The New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle. Tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you've got the right answer.

Samantha Jones: [on the phone] I am so fucked.
Carrie: What's wrong?
Samantha Jones: No, I mean, literally. I have been fucked every way you can be fucked.
Carrie: If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna have to charge you by the minute.
[goes to a voiceover]
Carrie: As I searched for my morning Marlboro Light, Samantha proceed to give me a rundown of her night with Jon - no "H", no inhibitions.
[voiceover ends]
Samantha Jones: We did with him on top. Me on top. Me on my side.
Carrie: Him on his side?
Samantha Jones: Oh, God, yes. On his back, on his side, on his face. Have you ever done that?
Carrie: It's too early to remember.
Samantha Jones: Well, do it immediately. It is fabulous. These guys in their twenties, they are up for anything. How did it go with uh, you and Sam?
Carrie: We kissed.
Samantha Jones: Just kissed?
Carrie: No. We just kissed for five hours, - at the club, in front of the club, on the corner of the club. I forgot how much fun it is to just kiss, you know, even if I did only get two hours of sleep.
Samantha Jones: I didn't sleep at all.
Carrie: [narrating voiceover] As Samantha went on about her sexual escapades, I glanced down at my arm. There it was in Bic blue. Twenty-something Sam's phone number. I had this sudden urge to call but I'd just left him. Hell, my lips were still swollen. Why this sudden craving? Are men in their twenties the new designer drug? Yes, Samantha, Miranda and I were all recreational users, but were we getting into something w couldn't handle? Okay, we were attracted to younger men for various reasons. But I couldn't help but wonder, what do they see in us?

Carrie: Shouldn't we be dating men our own age?
Miranda Hobbes: Good luck finding one. There are no available men in their thirties in New York. Giuliani had them removed along with the homeless.
Carrie: So, then what's really going on here? I mean, is it younger, younger men feel safer?
Miranda Hobbes: What's really going on here is sex. Good old-fashioned, eager to please, do what I tell you to, Eagle Scout sex.
Carrie: Yeah, but I'm not having sex. It's a kissing thing.
Miranda Hobbes: So, what's the big deal? It's just a fling. It's not like we're throwing out our schedules or anything.

[Charlotte is trying to decide whether to have anal sex with a man she's dating]
Miranda Hobbes: It all depends . How much do you like him?
Charlotte: A lot.
Miranda Hobbes: "Dating a few months until somebody better comes along a lot", or "marrying him and moving to the East Hampton" a lot?
Charlotte: I don't know. I'm not sure.
Miranda Hobbes: Well, you better get sure real quick.
Charlotte: You're scaring me.
Carrie: Don't scare her.
Miranda Hobbes: It's all about control. If he goes up there, there's gonna be a shift in power. Either he'll have the upper hand or you will. Now there's a certain camp that believes whoever holds the dick, holds the power, but...
[Cab Driver turns around]
Miranda Hobbes: Hello! You're driving! The question is...

Carrie: Well, I can't believe it. Same time, same place. Just you and me.
Mr. Big: Well, sort of. Meet my friend, Jack.
Carrie: Oh, hi, how are you?
Mr. Marvelous: Marvelous. Going through my second divorce. The bitch is getting everything the first bitch didn't.

Mr. Big: Are you sure?
Carrie: Abso-fucking-lutely!

Carrie: [voice over narration] Meanwhile, uptown, Charlotte wondered when relationships had gotten so complicated. She yearned for the time when dinner was followed by dessert, not lubricant.
Charlotte: I can't, Brian. I want to, but I can't. I mean, actually no, that's not true. I don't want to. Or maybe I do. I don't know what I want. But I'm afraid if I don't, you'll dump me. And if I do, then I'll be the up-the-butt girl. And I don't want to be the up-the-butt girl, because I mean... Men don't marry up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-The-Butt? No, no, no. I can't. I want children and nice bedding, and I just can't handle this right now.

Carrie: [voice over narration] I decided, the only way to break free was to move from one addiction, to an even bigger one... shoes. A couple of blocks and way too much money later, I realized I had just entered an interesting chapter in my life. I had out-grown the boys of my past, and not quite grown into the men of my future.

[last lines]
Carrie: [voice over narration] As I walked away I had a thought, maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down, and sometimes, like now, they get you so high. Damn! It would have been so cool if I hadn't looked back.

"Sex and the City: Secret Sex (#1.6)" (1998)
Carrie Bradshaw: [regarding Mr. Big] The thing is, I was dying to sleep with him, but isn't delayed gratification the definition of maturity?

Mr. Big: Interesting dress.
Carrie: Meaning?
Mr. Big: Interesting dress.

[first lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating voice over] Two weeks ago I had my picture taken...

[Before Carrie goes on her first official date with Mr. Big, she's showing the girls what she's wearing]
Samantha Jones: Hey honey, it's fabulous. Bravo!
Miranda Hobbes: It's tits on toast, baby. But you make it work.
Charlotte York: Well, let's just say it. It's the "naked dress". I mean, you're obviously gonna have sex with him tonight.
Carrie Bradshaw: Come on, it's our first date!
Miranda Hobbes: She's not gonna have sex. She's just gonna look like sex.
Carrie Bradshaw: That's right. I'm just the trailer.
Samantha Jones: Please. If it happens, it happens. Bottoms up!
Charlotte York: Wait a second! I thought you were serious about this guy, you can't sleep with him on the first date.
Samantha Jones: Oh, God!
Miranda Hobbes: Here she goes again with 'The Rules.'
Samantha Jones: The women who wrote that book, they wrote it because they couldn't get laid. So they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad.

Miranda Hobbes: Forget the math, just don't fuck on a first date, you're fine.
Carrie Bradshaw: Third date.
Charlotte York: Too soon!
Samantha Jones: Reality check.

Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating voice over, after having sex on the first date with Mr. Big] I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly, as an asshole.

Miranda Hobbes: [the man Miranda had just met at the gym asked her out] No, it's too quick. I think maybe that kick in his head scrambled his brains.
Carrie Bradshaw: No, too quick is sleeping with him on the first date. That's too quick.
Miranda Hobbes: You both got excited, and you went for it. Stop blaming yourself.
Carrie Bradshaw: No, I don't blame myself. I blame the dress. The dress!

Samantha Jones: Have I ever had fabulous sex with someone that I didn't want to admit to? Hmm. Did I ever tell you about that jazz musician who lived with his mother in Queens?
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, Alex.
Samantha Jones: What about the window washer?
Carrie Bradshaw: The one who doesn't wear any underwear?
Samantha Jones: I met this gorgerous kid in Spy Bar last year. He was...
Carrie Bradshaw: He turned out to be in high school.
[narrating voice over]
Carrie Bradshaw: Evidently, Samantha had had lots of sex, none of which was secret.
Samantha Jones: Fine, it just proves that I'm not ashamed of anyone whom I've slept with.

Samantha Jones: There's no such thing as bad publicity.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, you would say that, you're a publicist.

Charlotte York: So we would talk about art, and sex, and the Torah.
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, why didn't you introduce him to anybody?
Charlotte York: I was embarrassed! I mean, I couldn't really date him. And he couldn't date me. I mean, what would people think?
Samantha Jones: Well, if the sex was good, who cares what anybody thinks?

[last lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: So you and me... Then maybe this is for real?
Mr. Big: Could be...

[voice-over, about Charlotte's secret tryst with a Jewish artist]
Carrie Bradshaw: It was so sexy, so forbidden: Daddy's little Episcopalian princess in the arms of one of God's chosen People.

"Sex and the City: Bay of Married Pigs (#1.3)" (1998)
Charlotte York: I hate it when you're the only single person at a dinner party and they all look at you like you're a...
Carrie Bradshaw: Loser?
Miranda Hobbes: Leper.
Samantha Jones: Whore.

[first lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] One of the best things about living in a city like New York is leaving it. My friend, Patience and her husband invited me out to the Hamptons for the weekend. Patience and Peter were the perfect married couple. They were fun, smart, and they looked like they fell out of a J. Crew catalogue. If their house wasn't right on the beach, I would've hated them.

Miranda Hobbes: When someone gets married all bets are off, they become married and we become the enemy.
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] As the only single lawyer working at her law firm, Miranda had given this topic some thought.
Samantha Jones: You know, married women are threatened because we can have sex anytime, anywhere, and with anyone.
Carrie Bradshaw: We can?
Samantha Jones: And they're afraid we're gonna have it anytime, anywhere with their husbands.
Charlotte York: I would never sleep with a married man.
Samantha Jones: What makes you so sure you haven't? Wedding rings come off you know. Face it ladies, if you're still single, you are not to be trusted.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] Was Miranda right? Were we enemies? Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles?

Carrie Bradshaw: [to Carrie] I'm determined to make partner in this firm, even if I have to be a lesbian partner.

Carrie Bradshaw: [to David & Lisa] I'm beginning to think I may not be the marrying kind.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] He was like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress. You know it's not your style, but it's right there, so you try it on anyway.

Charlotte York: How did you manage to get a new boyfriend in a week?
Carrie Bradshaw: He's not my boyfriend. He's just somebody I'm trying on.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] Everywhere I looked, people were standing in two's. It was like Noah's, upper west side rent-controlled ark.

Carrie Bradshaw: Okay, I owe you. I didn't know that all of his buddies were gonna be married. Oh, my god, you're doing tequila shots?
Samantha Jones: [drunk] You see, that buddy over there? I fucked him. You see that buddy over there? I fucked him too. I never thought I'd see them again.
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, maybe you should start tagging your married men and that way you can keep track of them.

[last lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over narration] As I sifted through the rubble of my marriage skirmish, I had a thought. Maybe the fight between marrieds and singles is like the war in Northern Island. We're all basically the same, but somehow we wound up on different sides. Sure, it'd be great to have that one special person to walk home with, but sometimes there's nothing better than meeting your single girlfriends for a night at the movies.

"Sex and the City: Sex and the City (#1.1)" (1998)
[last lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: Have you ever been in love?
Mr. Big: Abso-fucking-lutely!

Carrie Bradshaw: It's like the riddle of the Sphinx: why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

[first lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover narration] Once upon a time an English journalist came to New York. Elizabeth was attractive and bright, and right away she hooked up with one of the city's typically eligible bachelors.

Elizabeth: He never did call, of course. Bastard! I don't understand.
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover narration] She told me one day over coffee.
Elizabeth: I don't understand. In England, looking at houses together, would have meant something.
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover narration] Then I realized, no one had told her about the end of love in Manhattan. Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's, and no one has affairs to remember. Instead, we have breakfast at seven a.m., and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible. Self-protection and closing the deal are paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op!

[after Carrie had sex with Kurt and she left him 'hanging']
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover narration] After I began to get dressed, I'd realized that I'd done it. I'd just had sex like a man. I left feeling powerful, potent, and incredibly alive. I felt like I owned this city. - Nothing and no one could get in my way.

[after someone bumped Carrie and she dropped her purse, all its contents falling out. Mr Big helps her get her stuff]
Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover narration] Number one, he's very handsome. Number two, he's not wearing a wedding ring. Number three, he knows I carry a personal supply of ultra-textured Trojans with a reservoir tip.

Carrie Bradshaw: So what are you doing later?
Kurt Harrington: I thought you weren't talking to me for the rest of your life?
Carrie Bradshaw: Who said anything about talking?

Skipper Johnston: I'm a romantic. I just have so much feeling.
Carrie Bradshaw: Are you sure you're not gay?
Skipper Johnston: No!

Mr. Big: So what have you been doing lately?
Carrie Bradshaw: You mean besides going out every night?
Mr. Big: Yeah. I mean, what do you do for work?
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, this is my work. I'm sort of a sexual anthropologist.
Mr. Big: You mean like a hooker?
Carrie Bradshaw: No. I umm... I write a column called 'Sex and the City.' Right now I'm researching an article about women who have sex like men. You know, they have sex and then afterwards they feel nothing.
Mr. Big: But you're not like that?
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, aren't you?
Mr. Big: Not a drop. Not even a half of a drop.
Carrie Bradshaw: Wow! What's wrong with you?
Mr. Big: I get it... You've never been in love.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh, yeah?
Mr. Big: Yeah.

Carrie Bradshaw: [voiceover narration] I didn't understand. Did all men secretly want their women promiscuous and emotionally detached? And if I was really having sex like a man, why didn't I feel more in control?
Samantha Jones: [pointing to Mr. Big] You see that guy? He's the next Donald Trump. Except he's younger and much better looking.

Sex and the City 2 (2010)
Samantha Jones: I'm having a hot flash.
Carrie Bradshaw: You're fine.
Samantha Jones: Seriously. They're starting.
Carrie Bradshaw: You're on a camel in the middle of the Arabian desert. If you're not having a hot flash, you're dead.

Carrie Bradshaw: Me and you, just us two.

Samantha Jones: One week in Abu Dubai. All expenses paid.
Carrie Bradshaw: I always been fascinated by the Middle East. You know, desert moons, magic carpets.
Lily York Goldenblatt: Like Jasmine and Aladdin.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yes, sweetie! Just like Jasmine, but with cocktails.
Charlotte York: It really sounds exciting. When are you gonna go?
Samantha Jones: [modest tone] I don't know... When can you all be free?
[Everyone stare at her]
Samantha Jones: You didn't think I was going without my gals? All expenses paid for all four of us. All we have to do is pick the week, and the sooner the better!
Miranda Hobbes: Let me just check my work schedule.
[Looks at her cellphone really quick]
Miranda Hobbes: Yeah! All clear!
Carrie Bradshaw: Well I gotta check... but I'm good to go Middle East, sweetie!
Samantha Jones: [all excited] Charlotte! How's three weeks from now?
Charlotte York: Oh, I... I don't know.
Samantha Jones: [demanding tone] I go to children's birthday parties for YOU! You're going to Abu Dhabi for ME!
Miranda Hobbes: Children's birthday parties. Pulling out the big guns.
Charlotte York: Ah... okay.
Samantha Jones: [obliviously] Thank you!

Carrie Bradshaw: You have to take the tradition, and decorate it your way.

Mr. Big: [At Carrie's bewildered response to his putting a television in their bedroom] Don't you remember how great it was watching 'It Happened One Night' at the hotel?
Carrie Bradshaw: Yes, that's because it's only happened one night, at a hotel.

Samantha Jones: There ought to be a law against hiring a nanny who looks like that.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, the Jude Law.

[Carrie and Big are being kept awake by Charlotte's baby crying and Samantha's loud sex]
Mr. Big: I don't know which is worse.
Carrie Bradshaw: Samantha. The baby will get tired eventually.

Carrie Bradshaw: I guess I really missed who I used to be and Aiden was such a big part of that. And yes I wanted the flirting and yes I wanted the attention, but I didn't want the kiss. The minute I kissed Aiden, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?

Carrie Bradshaw: So does he really get to cheat?
Stanford Blatch: Yes, but only in the 45 states where our marriage isn't legal.

Sex and the Matrix (2000) (TV)
Neo: Carrie, there's something I have to tell you about the Matrix.
Carrie Bradshaw: [ashamed] Oh! I threw up in the Matrix, didn't I?
Neo: No, no. You threw up in the real world. The Matrix is a system created by robots. It's like the real world, but it isn't real. The Matrix is real, but it's like the real world that isn't real. At least, that's what the robots want us to think. But I don't think the robots are real. Wait... Robots, but it's real, but they told you it's fake, but they know it's real... There are a lot of numbers, or... Wait.
Neo: I should've written this down.
Carrie Bradshaw: [raises one eyebrow, narrates] Something told me this wasn't the first time he was confused.

Carrie Bradshaw: Oh, like you two have never woken up covered in goo.

Neo: This is where you belong, Carrie! Here, in the real world.
Carrie Bradshaw: Neo, your apartment has no natural light. I'm wearing a freakin' potato sack, and I've got an outlet in the back of my head! Screw the real world, give me the Matrix! Manhattan... Martinis... cute men.

Neo: I'm Neo!
Carrie Bradshaw: [narrates] There he was: cute, cocky, and awfully flexible.

Morpheus: I am Morpheus.
Carrie Bradshaw: [mimicking him, amused] I am Carrie.

Carrie Bradshaw: [reading the words that have appeared on her computer] Follow the White Rabbit?
[a knock comes at the door; it's a man dressed as a white rabbit]
White Rabbit: Here's your vodka and cigarettes.
Carrie Bradshaw: The White Rabbit!
White Rabbit: [sardonic and world-weary] No way. Where?

Carrie Bradshaw: [recounting the adventure to her friends] Neo assured me that his roommate was away on business. Apparently, business wasn't too good.
Neo: Aw, you've got to be kidding me!
[Morpheus, looking out the window at the storm, turns to face them]
Neo: Dude, what are you doing here? Didn't you see the sock on the door?
Carrie Bradshaw: [to Neo] Hey, who's the third wheel?
Morpheus: I am Morpheus.
Carrie Bradshaw: [sassily imitating his voice] I am Carrie.
Morpheus: Let me tell you why you are here. Come. Sit down.
Neo: [disgusted] Aw, dude, you are not gonna cockblock me again!

Carrie Bradshaw: So, how come I haven't heard about this Matrix place? Did it just open? Can I get on the guest list?
Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.
Neo: [coughing to cover his comment] Bullshit!
Morpheus: Take the blue pill: You wake up in your bed, and believe whatever you want to believe.
Neo: I believe just because I ate your last Hot Pocket doesn't give you the right to get all up in my grill!
Morpheus: You take the red pill: You stay in Wonderland.
Carrie Bradshaw: Ooh, Wonderland!
[She takes the red pill and drinks it with a glass of water]
Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating] I should have known better. The last time I took one of those, Wonderland became Wonder-what-the Hell-Happened-Last-Night-Land.

"Sex and the City: The Power of Female Sex (#1.5)" (1998)
Samantha: Money is power, sex is power, therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.
Carrie: Once again, Samantha managed to up-sex me.

[first lines]
Carrie: [narrating voice over] The most powerful woman in New York is not Tina Brown, or Diane Sawyer, or even Rosie O'Donnell. It's the hostess at Balzac, which had overnight become the only restaurant that mattered. And we were there to celebrate the moment.

Carrie: [narrating voice over] I couldn't understand a word she was saying, but I felt I had in my possession all the Italian I'd ever need to know. Dolce, Dolce, Dolce. While at home, all the English I seemed to encounter was bills, bills, bills. I envied Amalita. Her life was a blur of rich men, designer clothes and glamorous resorts. She didn't actually work for a living, yet possessed a dazzling sexual power that she exploited to her full advantage, which presented a certain conundrum.
[to the camera]
Carrie: Where's the line between professional girlfriend and just plain professional?

Samantha: Women have the right to use every means at their disposal to achieve power.
Miranda Hobbes: Short of sleeping their way to the top
Samantha: Not if that's what it takes to compete.
Charlotte York: But that's exploitation!
Samantha: Of men, - which is perfectly legal.
Carrie: [voice over narration] Saturday night, in an effort to save money, and maybe even pick up a few extra bucks, I invited the girls over for poker.
Charlotte York: I'll buy two.
Carrie: I'm in for three. So, you advocate a double standard. Women can use their sexuality to get ahead whenever possible, but men should not be allowed to take advantage of it?
Samantha: No, I'm just saying that men and women are equal-opportunity exploiters.

Miranda Hobbes: [to Charlotte who is talking about a famous painter who might ask her to hold his brush] If he so much as suggests what she's suggesting, you give me a call and we'll sue the hell out of him. That's the only proper way to trade sex for power.
Samantha: I can't believe what I'm hearing. You're like the Harvard Law Lorena Bobbitt.
[Door bell rings]
Miranda Hobbes: Ah, it's Skipper, I told him I was here and he insisted on picking me up. But he's not supposed to be here 'till eleven!
Carrie: Oh! He's like a sweet little seal pup.
Miranda Hobbes: That you sometimes want to club.

[after Gilles has slept with Carrie, he leaves her a note and a thousand dollars]
Miranda Hobbes: [reading the note] "Thanks for the beautiful day." Must've been a hell of a beautiful day.
Carrie: Well, it was. We had such a fantastic connection, then he leaves me money. I don't understand. What exactly about me screams "whore"?
Miranda Hobbes: Besides the thousand dollars on the end table?
Samantha: I just can't believe you had dinner at Balzac. Wait a minute, I thought I ordered two eggs Benedict and one spinach omelette.
Miranda Hobbes: It's all right. I'll take the omelette.
Carrie: You know what you guys, this isn't right. We're gonna pay for all this ourselves, all right?
Samantha: He said order anything.
Miranda Hobbes: The room service is one thing, but the money... - uh-uh.
Samantha: What are you getting so uptight about? I mean, money is power. Sex is power. Therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.
Miranda Hobbes: Don't listen to the dime store Camille Paglia.
Carrie: I don't know whether to take it as an incredible compliment or as an incredible insult?
Samantha: Just take it, period.
Carrie: Well, I wouldn't know how to return it anyway because the one thing he didn't leave me was his phone number.
Miranda Hobbes: He paid in full, what more is there to talk about? Who is this Amalita Amalfi character anyway? I'm concerned you've been drafted into a ring of high-class hookers.
Carrie: She isn't a hooker. She's like an international party girl.
Miranda Hobbes: She's a hooker with a passport.

[last lines]
Carrie: [narrating voice over] They say a picture is worth a thousand words... But in this case... I was speechless.

"Sex and the City: Ex and the City (#2.18)" (1999)
[on meeting Big's new girlfriend]
Carrie: [quoting "The Way We Were"] Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.
Mr. Big: I don't get it.
Carrie: And you never did.

Carrie: You string me along for two years and you marry some 25 year old girl after five months.

Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.

Carrie: [Miranda has just told Carrie that Steve wants to be exclusive, and that she's feeling conflicted about it] Uh-oh. Time for the ol' list.
Miranda: The list?
Carrie: Things you like about Steve, things you don't like about Steve. Then see which list is longer.
Miranda: That seems so judgmental.
Carrie: Miranda, you *are* judgmental. Try putting it to good use.

Samantha: Women are for friendships, and men are for fucking.
Carrie: Honey, you have got to learn to form an opinion.

Carrie: After two advanced yoga classes and a hit of the best Columbian Gold she could find, Samantha was ready to take on Mount Everest.

Miranda: When did you stop calling her the idiot stick figure with no soul?
Carrie: Three weeks ago when I saw them at Cafe M. He was smiling and holding her hand and I finally got it. They're happy slash we're over.

"Sex and the City: The Real Me (#4.2)" (2001)
Carrie: You're Heidi Klum!

Carrie: I have a style and jeweled panties aren't it.

Stanford: [eyeing an attractive man at a club] Do you think he's a model?
Carrie: A model what? A model citizen? A model home? A model airplane?
Stanford: I think he's the dirty-haired Gucci guy - with clean hair.

Carrie: Why don't you go over and say hello?
Stanford: Oh, he's gorgeous. The only way I could get a guy like that interested in me, would be to pay him.
Carrie: Stanford, my love, there is no need for you to enter Hookerville.
Stanford: [dejected] Carrie - I *know* what I look like.
Carrie: Then you can't see what I see.
[kisses his cheek]

Carrie: Dolce and Gabanna picked me?
Fashion show producer: Yes, fuckette, and those are some picky Italians.

Carrie: When I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I felt it fed me more.

"Sex and the City: Anchors Away (#5.1)" (2002)
Charlotte: Everyone knows you only get two great loves in your life.
Carrie: Everyone who? Where'd you get that?
Charlotte: I read it in a magazine.
Miranda: What magazine, "Convenient Theories for You Monthly"?

Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.

Carrie: That's another reason I love New York. Just like that, it can go from bad to cute.

Carrie: [to Samantha] This past week I've seen Miranda's boobs and Charlotte's boob. Why don't you show me your boobs too and the circle is full?
[Samantha flashes her boobs]
Carrie: I was kidding.

[Charlotte has just told the girls about a magazine article she read which said that a woman only gets two "great loves" in her lifetime]
Charlotte: So far I've only had one great love - Trey.
[to Miranda]
Charlotte: How many great loves have you had?
Miranda: Zero.
Carrie: Really? What about Steve?
Miranda: Steve's a friend, not a core-shaker.
Samantha: Well, I'm done with great love. I'm back to great lovers.
Miranda: [to Carrie] You?
Carrie: I refuse to define love in those limited terms
Miranda: [laughing] I had to!
Charlotte: Oh, come on Carrie! Aidan and Big!
[Charlotte pauses as she realizes what she just said. Carrie looks up at her]
Carrie: One, two. And according to you, I'm done!
Charlotte: No, no, it was a stupid article. It was at the dentist!
Carrie: No, no, no, no, too late now. You said it, it's over for me. "Here lies Carrie. She had two loves and lots o' shoes."

Carrie: [last lines]
Carrie: [voice over] If Louis was right, and you only get one great love, New York may just be mine. And I can't have nobody talking shit about my boyfriend. A short while later, I had a thought...
[out loud]
Carrie: Taxi!
[voice over]
Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were, to become who you will be.

"Sex and the City: I Heart NY (#4.18)" (2002)
Samantha Jones: Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good you can't get it anymore. If it's bad you just had sex with an ex.
Carrie Bradshaw: It wouldn't be bad.
Samantha Jones: Oh.

[after hearing Big is moving to Napa, California]
Carrie: If you're tired you take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa.

Carrie: It's good to know that the ones you love will always be in your heart. And if you're very lucky, only a plane ride away.

Carrie: "Going-out-of-business sex", what do we think?
Miranda: [immediately] No.
Carrie: All right, Quick Draw, give it a second here.
Miranda: [gives it a literal second] No.

Carrie: [to Mr. Big] I'll see you Sunday night. Don't disappoint us. And by us, I mean you and me.

"Sex and the City: The Big Journey (#5.7)" (2002)
Samantha: Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good you can't get it anymore, if it's bad you just had sex with an ex.
Carrie: It wouldn't be bad.
Samantha: Oh.

Carrie: [squeals] I'm gonna get laid! I'M GONNA GET LAID!

Carrie: What? Now? What about last night, all those concerns?
Big: Fuck it. You'll need material for the sequel.

Carrie: [on starting an all-male brothel industry] We should open one in every block, like Starbucks!
Samantha: Starfucks!

Carrie: [waiting with Mr. Winkle, the puppet dog, for her book reading to start] This book tour's tough.
Carrie: [Mr. Winkle continues to nod and pant. Carrie gives him a good look] That's a cute top.

"Sex and the City: An American Girl in Paris: Part Deux (#6.20)" (2004)
Carrie: I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

Big: You know, I don't live here anymore and the Four Seasons won't check you in until 1.
Carrie: Oh, you wanna come up?
Big: Abso-fucking-lutely.

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Carrie: [Picking up beads from her broken necklace, Carrie looks up and sees Big smiling down at her] Hi.
[Bursts into tears]
Big: Hey! Hey! Why the tears?
Carrie: Paris is a mess. I never should have come here. Everything fell apart, we had a big fight and then I got slapped.
Big: [shocked] You got what?
Carrie: No, he didn't mean it. It was just an accident.
Big: [enraged] He slapped you? I'll kick his ass.
Carrie: What? No!
Big: Ok, what room were you in?
Carrie: I'm not telling you that.
Night Clerk: I see you were in room 625.
Big: Room 625? Thank you.
[storms off]
Carrie: Wait! What do you think you're doing?
Big: I think I'm kicking some Russian ass.

Carrie: I miss New York. Take me home.

"Sex and the City: All That Glitters (#4.14)" (2002)
Charlotte York: I feel like we don't belong here!
Carrie Bradshaw: That's because we're wearing shirts!
Miranda Hobbes: Seriously, why don't straight men have bodies like this?
Carrie Bradshaw: Because gay men have the possibility of sex at the gym! If straight men had that they'd be working out all the time too!
Samantha Jones: I've had sex at the gym!
Carrie Bradshaw: See, Samantha's doing her part to motivate the masses!

Samantha Jones: Well it's about fuckin' time. Get over here and do me.
Carrie Bradshaw: Is that your standard greeting now?
Samantha Jones: Oh sorry I thought it was Richard.

Charlotte York: This is gay porn.
Miranda Hobbes: What was your first clue?
Charlotte York: You said we were watching an independent film. I brought biscotti.
Carrie Bradshaw: Relax. I've watched it already, and I'm telling you this really funny.
Samantha Jones: See, that's the way to do it. No "I love you.", just good old fashioned fucking.

Charlotte York: This is gay porn.
Miranda Hobbes: What was your first clue?
Charlotte York: You said we were watching an independent film. I brought biscotti.
Carrie Bradshaw: Relax. I've watched it already, and I'm telling you, this is really funny.
Samantha Jones: See? That's the way to do it. No "I love you", just good old fashioned fucking.

"Sex and the City: Sex and the Country (#4.9)" (2001)
Carrie: You can't make friends with a squirrel. Squirrels are just rats with cuter outfits.

Carrie: Hi, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, a large fries and a Cosmopolitan.

Carrie: If by "going," you mean being taken against my will and kidnapped, then yes I'm going. So, enjoy me now, ladies, because this weekend I am Patty Hearst in a mud puddy. I'm a hick town hostage.

Carrie: The only thing I've ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires.

"Sex and the City: The Agony and the Ex-tacy (#4.1)" (2001)
Carrie: [leaving a message for Big] Hey, uh, I think you're still in England but, uh, its midnight here in New York, and its my birthday. I am official old. So um, I felt the need to call someone... older... haha. Uh anyway some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow night, well actually its tonight and you're a friend so, um, if you are back in town it's going to be at Ilcantanori at 8:30 and if you're still in London... cheerio old chap... so, okay

Samantha: I masturbated to my priest... Friar Fuck!
Carrie: Okay, I think we're going to have to get Charlotte a crash helmet.
Charlotte: You have a priest?

Carrie: It's after twelve. You're late.
Mr. Big: Not really, I'm on London time.
Carrie: London is five hours ahead.
Mr. Big: In that case, I'm really fucking late.

Carrie: [Carrie just turned 35] I'm thirty-five.
Samantha: Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm a hundred and forty.

"Sex and the City: Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman (#3.3)" (2000)
Carrie: She's shiny Hair Style Section Vera Wang and I'm the sex column they run next to ads for penile implants.

Carrie: I've talked to her twice. Once I was in a cowboy hat and once I was in my bra. I'm like friggin' Annie Get Your Clothes On.

Charlotte: I didn't grow up in a naked house.
Carrie: Well I didn't either.
Charlotte: [laughing about a naked woman in the locker room] I bet she grew up in a naked house.
Carrie: She might still live in a naked house.

Carrie: I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.

"Sex and the City: The Freak Show (#2.3)" (1999)
Carrie: That was the day I came face to face with my freak: The frightening woman whose fear ate her sanity.

Carrie: Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better.

Miranda: Whatever happened to aging gracefully?
Carrie: It got old.

Miranda: If a man is over thirty and single, there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out from propagating the species.
Carrie: Okay, what about us?
Miranda: We're just choosy.

"Sex and the City: Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda (#4.11)" (2001)
Miranda: [on finding out she is pregnant] WHY didn't I use a condom?
Carrie: You didn't use a condom?
Miranda: He has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary! In what twisted world does that create a baby? It's like the Special Olympics of conception!

Carrie: Here. Swear. Swear on Chanel.

Miranda: Oh God, Carrie, is this my baby? I mean, what am I waiting for?
Carrie: Sweetie, do you want to leave?
Miranda: No, I can't have a baby. I could barely find the time to schedule this abortion.

"Sex and the City: Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl... (#3.4)" (2000)
Sean: [ice skating] You know it might be easier to balance without the cigarette.
Carrie: Cigarettes are the only thing that keep me balanced.

Carrie: Vodka, rum, gin, gay, bi, straight... this party was a veritable pu pu platter of sexual orientation.

Carrie: I'm not even sure bisexuality exists. I think it's just a layover on the way to Gaytown.
Miranda: Isn't that right next to Ricky Martinville?

"Sex and the City: Unoriginal Sin (#5.2)" (2002)
Carrie: [dedicating her book] To single women everywhere, and one in particular... my good friend Charlotte, the eternal optimist, who always believes in love.

Miranda: Baptism is a very odd tradition. It's all about cleansing this little baby of its sins, when clearly babies come into the world with a clean slate and we're the ones who fuck 'em up.
Carrie: So you're a pessimist, right?
Miranda: Have we met?

Carrie: [while trolling for men with Charlotte] You have slept with eight men and we're still on appetizers.

"Sex and the City: Change of a Dress (#4.15)" (2002)
Samantha: [to the girls] I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.
Carrie: Now it's airborne.

Carrie: I am yours. There is no one else. I love you. But I can't marry you to make you trust me. Aidan. Aidan. Look at me before we make a huge mistake.
Aidan Shaw: If you don't want to marry me right now, you'll never want to marry me.
Carrie: That's not true.
Aidan Shaw: I think it is.

Carrie: We had left the world of black and white, and now everything was gray.

"Sex and the City: One (#6.12)" (2003)
Carrie: When will waiting for "the one"... be done?

Carrie: I was told there'd be no clowns - nothing scarier than a clown.

Carrie: I have a bit of an art question. As you know, Alexander...
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Aleksandr.
Carrie: Oh.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Aleksandr.
Carrie: Alexander.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Say "Alek".
Carrie: Alek.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Aleksandr.
Carrie: Alexander.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Call me Bob.

"Sex and the City: Games People Play (#2.13)" (1999)
Carrie Bradshaw: So why are you in therapy. Seriously?
Seth: I'm really fucked up about women. After I sleep with them, I completely lose interest. What about you? What's your problem?
Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating] I believe in therapy, this moment is called "the breakthrough".
Carrie Bradshaw: I pick the wrong men.

Carrie: [about therapists] First they want you to come there two times a week, then three times a week, and eventually you're starting every sentence with 'my therapist says... '
Miranda: My therapist says that's a very common fear.

Samantha: If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world.
Carrie: And at least our hands would be free to greet dignitaries and everything.

"Sex and the City: A 'Vogue' Idea (#4.17)" (2002)
[in the Vogue accessories closet]
Carrie Bradshaw: [shrieks as she picks up a pair of shoes] Oh my God! Do you know what these are? Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes! I thought these were an urban shoe myth!

Carrie: Hey, you think it could really be as simple as my father walked out, therefore I'll always be messed up about men?
Miranda: My father came home every night at seven on the dot and I have no clue about men either.

Carrie: I'm drunk. I'm drunk at *Vogue*!

"Sex and the City: The Chicken Dance (#2.7)" (1999)
Carrie: It was all very familiar. She was having a dejà-fuck.

Carrie: I better find Big.
Miranda: I'm coming with you.
Carrie: Can you leave the guest book unattended?
Miranda: It's a bullshit job Carrie, people know what to do with the guest book!

Miranda: Guess what? The guest book person is also the put the gifts in the van person. Does anybody wanna help me or should I just go stand out in the street and wait for somebody else not to see me so I can end it?
Carrie: I'll help you, what street do you wanna stand in?

"Sex and the City: Plus One Is the Loneliest Number (#5.5)" (2002)
Carrie: That's my call, can you hang on?
Charlotte: [the doorbell rings] No, I can't. That's the locksmith. Bunny's back.

Charlotte: The thing is... there are some things people don't admit because they just don't like the way it sounds. Like, 'I'm getting divorced.'
Carrie: I'm lonely. I am. The loneliness is palpable.

Carrie: We were having one of those great first dates that you can only have when its not an actual date.

"Sex and the City: Baby, Talk Is Cheap (#4.6)" (2001)
Carrie: Wait a minute. Are we talking tukhis lingus?

Carrie: How does this happen? How do they get the message that the ass is now on the menu?

"The Carrie Diaries: Pilot (#1.1)" (2013)
Carrie Bradshaw: Love is something we wait for. We imagine our first kiss, our first sex, our first I Love You. We never imagine our first heartbreak. Maybe because its too painful to even imagine. But in a way the pain of love is what truly changes us.

Carrie Bradshaw: Love is something we wait for. We imagine our first kiss or first sex, or first "I love you", but we never imagine our first heart break... maybe because it's too painful to even imagine, but in a way the pain of love is was truly changes us.

"Sex and the City: Easy Come, Easy Go (#3.9)" (2000)
Charlotte: I proposed to myself.
Carrie: What?
Charlotte: Yes. I suggested he have a tomato salad, then I suggested we get married.
Carrie: Wait. What exactly did he say?
Charlotte: All righty.
Carrie: All righty? He said all righty? Now I'm thinking the upsetting thing isn't that you proposed, it's that you proposed to a guy that says "all righty".
Charlotte: Oh, Carrie, stop.
Carrie: All righty.

[the girls are having lunch]
Carrie: Big's leaving his wife!
[all girls gasp]
Carrie: He got drunk and told me at the furniture show
Miranda: What was he doing at a furniture show?
Carrie: Drinkin' and leaving his wife!

"Sex and the City: Frenemies (#3.16)" (2000)
Carrie Bradshaw: Have you met Liz? She works in TV.
Guy: Get outta here! I love TV!

Carrie: That night, Trey successfully screwed his wife for a full minute-and-a-half... before the wind died.

"Sex and the City: An American Girl in Paris: Part Une (#6.19)" (2004)
[at Carrie's very emotional and weepy goodbye dinner a few hours before Carrie is leaving for Paris - Charlotte in particular is being a total weepy waterworks]
Samantha: Let's pull it up, shall we? I'd like to show my face here again.
Carrie: Yes, the tears have to go. Right. Someone say something not sentimental.
Samantha: Chemo might have kicked me into early menopause.
Miranda: Task accomplished!
Samantha: You would not BELIEVE the hot flashes! I can barely keep my clothes on!
Carrie: Really? What was your excuse before the chemo?
Samantha: [lovingly] Oh, I'm gonna miss you, you cunt.
[Charlotte breaks into tears again]
Miranda: Wow, even "cunt" didn't stop her!

Carrie: You do this every time! *Every* time! What? Do you have some sort of radar? Carrie might be happy - it's time to sweep in and shit all over it?
Big: What? No, no, I came here to tell you something. I made a mistake. You and I...
Carrie: You and I - *nothing*! You can not do this to me again! You can not jerk me around!
Big: Carrie, listen to me. It is different this time...
Carrie: Oh, it's never different! It's six years of *never* being different! This is it! I am done! Don't call me ever again! Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name! And you can drive up this street all you want - because I don't live here any more!

"Sex and the City: The Domino Effect (#6.11)" (2003)
Charlotte York: Big is in town?
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, he's having a little heart thing done.
Miranda Hobbes: What, is he on the wait list to get one?
Carrie Bradshaw: No, and you're going to feel incredibly bad in a minute: he's here because he's having heart surgery.
Miranda Hobbes: Okay, I'm officially a monster, please continue.

Carrie Bradshaw: Honey, if it hurts so much, why are we going shopping?
Samantha Jones: I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit.

"Sex and the City: Catch-38 (#6.15)" (2004)
Miranda: I don't understand, why do you have to have chemo?
Samantha Jones: Because he's an asshole!
Carrie Bradshaw: Apparently there could be something microscopic...
Samantha Jones: Like his dick!
Carrie Bradshaw: I'm sorry, do you have cancer or Tourette's?

[Carrie and Charlotte are in the park]
Carrie: The Russian doesn't want to have kids. Had one a long time ago. He's done.
Charlotte: Well, then, "dosvidanya" or however you say it.
Carrie: What? No! For you maybe, but not for me.
Charlotte: Don't you want to have the option?
Carrie: Well, yes. But it's my experience that men like him don't come along that often.
Charlotte: But we're 38! These are the years.
Carrie: Yes, I know, I've heard. I'm running out of time. I don't even have time to eat this cookie.
Charlotte: How is it?
Carrie: It's so good I forgot to have children.

"Sex and the City: Boy, Interrupted (#6.10)" (2003)
Carrie: You know what the craziest thing is? I actually thought after everything I've been through, I might end up with my high school boyfriend. Yeah, I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that.
Stanford: Your boyfriend might get tied up.
Carrie: ...and taken away! Okay, no more jokes. I might be dating him in eight to ten months.

Carrie: So maybe it won't look like you thought it would in high school, but it's important to remember that love is possible. Anything is possible. This is New York.

"Sex and the City: The Cheating Curve (#2.6)" (1999)
Carrie: Someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.
Miranda: That's moral relativism.
Carrie: I prefer to think of it as quantum cheating.

Carrie: Sure I knew it was wrong, seeing an emotionally unavailable man I had sworn off months earlier. But the guilt worked like an aphrodisiac. I had never felt sexier or more alive in my entire life.

"Sex and the City: The Man, the Myth, the Viagra (#2.8)" (1999)
Carrie Bradshaw: I have a huge favor to ask: I want you to know my friends better.
Mr. Big: I know your friends just fine. Charlotte is the brunette, Miranda is the redhead, and Samantha is trouble.

[Carrie explains to Miranda she blew off their dinner date for dinner with Big]
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, he got this veal...
Miranda Hobbes: You blew me off for a piece of politically incorrect meat?

"Sex and the City: La Douleur Exquise! (#2.12)" (1999)
Carrie: Charlotte felt like Cinderella... Cinderella in a dirty, kinky, freaked out storybook parallel universe.

Carrie: [voice over] Did I really love Big, or was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable.

"Sex and the City: All or Nothing (#3.10)" (2000)
Samantha: Until he says "I love you", you're a free agent.
Carrie: What is this? The Rules According to Samantha?
Samantha: See? I'm more old-fashioned than you think.

Aidan Shaw: I don't want to be paranoid here, but you took Pete for a walk, and we both know you are not big on the dog-walking thing. And I smell something. Are you cheating? I can smell the smoke on you.
Carrie: Oh.

"Sex and the City: Cover Girl (#5.4)" (2002)
[Miranda's new "Weight Watchers" boyfriend is a messy lover to which Carrie quips]
Carrie: Miranda's dating an over-eater, and he over-ate her.

Carrie: [while talking about a possible cover for her book that she didn't like] Well, wait, let me see it again.
Carrie: [they show her the book] No, absolutely not, I would rather die.

"Sex and the City: Hop, Skip, and a Week (#6.6)" (2003)
Mr. Big: How are things with that guy, Hot Dog?
Carrie: Berger.

Carrie: What are you doing golfing?
Mr. Big: Oh, I'm just in it for the Scotch afterwards.

"Sex and the City: Hot Child in the City (#3.15)" (2000)
Mrs. Adams: [Wade and Carrie have been smoking pot at Wade's house. Wade's parents come home early and Mrs. Adams smells marijuana] Have you been smoking marijuana in my house?
Wade: [looks at Carrie] Carrie brought it.
Mrs. Adams: Is this true Carrie?
Carrie: Yes it is Mrs. Adams. And I'm gonna take it with me when I leave.

Carrie: [laughing uncontrollably] Wait, Wade, Wait... The Chicken Wings. If they come in and see billions of chicken wings they're gonna know
[more laughing]
Carrie: ...that we were smoking the POT.

"Sex and the City: Cock-a-Doodle-Do (#3.18)" (2000)
Mr. Big: Stay.
Carrie: I can't.
Mr. Big: Why not?
Carrie: Because, dear friend, you and I are like that red wall. It's a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn't quite work.

Carrie: [narration at the finale, during the rooftop party] Don't worry - they have a very lovely life...

"Sex and the City: The Post-It Always Sticks Twice (#6.7)" (2003)
Carrie: Ooh, hear that? It's midnight, the official end to what will now be known as the day I got arrested for smokin' a doobie.
[giggling uncontrollably]
Carrie: I said "doobie".

Carrie: Oh, oh. Do you smell that?
Samantha Jones: Pot!
Carrie: Let's get high.

"Sex and the City: What Goes Around Comes Around (#3.17)" (2000)
Carrie: The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.

Miranda Hobbes: Are you alright? I can't believe he took your shoes.
Carrie: I know! I probably got trichinosis.
Miranda Hobbes: You only get that from pork.
Carrie: Oh, well I'm sure I stepped on a piece of it somewhere.

Disaster Movie (2008)
Male Carrie: Oh, my God. Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus.
Enchanted Princess: Well, duh. No shit, Sherlock. All I do is wear a wig and change my voice a little bit and those dumb kids can't tell the difference. Then I get twice the pay and twice the merchandise. Just a reminder, my new CD comes out. Miley Cyrus: Underage. it's available in stores now. Featuring songs from my dad, Billy Ray. Only 9.95.

Male Carrie: [thinking] And so I thought: Could a simple New York City gal like me really beat the shit out of a pregnant teenager? I wonder.
Juney: Like Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV, I must break you.

"Sex and the City: Just Say Yes (#4.12)" (2001)
Aidan Shaw: I love you, Carrie. There's no one I could love more. I want to live my life with you.
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over] Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers. Maybe you just have to say what's in your heart.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yes.

Carrie Bradshaw: I'm engaged.
Samantha Jones: Fuck you!

"Sex and the City: Great Sexpectations (#6.2)" (2003)
Carrie: You've traded Steve-o for TiVo

Carrie, Charlotte: Who else has news?
Charlotte: I do. But you will have to put down your menus because I need your undivided attention.
Samantha: Well, you'll have to shoot our waiter. Will you look at that ass?
Charlotte: I have something a bit shocking to say. And after I say it, I don't want anyone to react because I'm very happy with my decision. I'm becoming a Jew.

"Sex and the City: Shortcomings (#2.15)" (1999)
Carrie: Yes, we'd love to meet Wesley of Wesley and Leslie. And P.S., does he work at Nestlé?

Samantha Jones: I fucked a guy once because his family had a pool. He was pretty much of a nerd, but I'd go over there and get all coca-buttered up. His mom loved me. She was always serving me Kool-Aid and chips.
Carrie: Kool-Aid?
Samantha Jones: Yeah, Kool-Aid. I was 13. And honey, you should have seen my tan.

"Sex and the City: Luck Be an Old Lady (#5.3)" (2002)
[a fat jerk wants Miranda to leave a blackjack table when they're in Atlantic City]
Jerk One: Hey red, move your fat ass!
Carrie: [after a stunned pause] What did you just say to her?
Samantha: Who the hell do you think you are?
Jerk Two: Get in the game or get out!
Miranda: [to the girls] Guys, let's just go. It's okay.
Carrie: No, it is most certainly *not* okay!
Charlotte: Listen, you big jerk, her "ass" isn't normally this big!
Miranda: [after a pause] Yes... thank you, I almost forgot! My ass is fat because I just had a baby, you asshole!
Samantha: What's your excuse?
Carrie: Yeah, ya havin' triplets?

Carrie: Here we are ladies, Atlantic City! Look around and breathe it all in!
Carrie: [breathes in] Ahhhhhh, I've missed this! Ahhh, yeah!
Samantha: You've been here before?
Carrie: I was referring to the cigarette smoke.

"Sex and the City: Critical Condition (#5.6)" (2002)
Samantha: Babies are not my scene. From what I've heard, this one sounds like an asshole.
Carrie Bradshaw: You can't call a baby an asshole!
Samantha: Why not? She called him a meatloaf.

"Sex and the City: The Ick Factor (#6.14)" (2004)
Carrie: [offscreen] The only thing harder than choosing a spot for your wedding when you hate weddings is choosing a wedding gift for your friend who hates weddings.
Charlotte: What about a guest book?
Carrie: There's gonna be like eight of us there. There's no one to keep track of. I can't believe Miranda is getting married.
Charlotte: [holds up heart shaped dish] This is pretty!
Samantha: Oh, she'll hate that. Too domestic.
Carrie: And too bridey.
Samantha: Yeah, let's try not to piss her off.
Charlotte: Maybe we should just buy her a stapler, wrap it in brown paper and just smear some dog poo on it! Think she'd be comfortable with that?
Carrie: Fine. We'll get the dish.

"Sex and the City: Time and Punishment (#4.7)" (2001)
Carrie Bradshaw: Aidan, you can't keep punishing me, and I can't keep punishing me. I made a mistake and I am sorry, and I know that you can't forget what happened, but I hope that you can forgive me. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me, Aidan. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me.

"Sex and the City: Sex and Another City (#3.14)" (2000)
Carrie: One woman's pornographer is another woman's spiritual leader.

"Sex and the City: The Caste System (#2.10)" (1999)
Mr. Big: Listen. I know what you're really pissed off about. But it's just something I've gotta do in my own time! Okay? Well, I fucking love you! All right? You know I do.... It's just a tough thing for me to say, because it always seems to get me in trouble ... when I say it. Okay?
Carrie Bradshaw: Okay.

"Sex and the City: Splat! (#6.18)" (2004)
[Carrie and Miranda are fighting because Miranda does not want Carrie to move to Paris with Petrovsky]
Carrie Bradshaw: Just say it! You don't like him!
Miranda Hobbes: Fine! I don't like him!
Carrie Bradshaw: Then don't *you* go to Paris with him.
[walks away]

"Sex and the City: Belles of the Balls (#4.10)" (2001)
Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it.

"Sex and the City: Take Me Out to the Ball Game (#2.1)" (1999)
Carrie: Miranda was a huge fan of the Yankees. I was a huge fan of being anywhere you could smoke and drink at two in the afternoon without judgment.

"Sex and the City: Politically Erect (#3.2)" (2000)
Stanford: I can only stay a few minutes. I got tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Carrie: Why?
Stanford: Just because I don't eat at the restaurant doesn't mean I can't hear the specials.

"Sex and the City: I Love a Charade (#5.8)" (2002)
Carrie Bradshaw: He doesn't need her money, he was one of the original investors in "A Chorus Line."
Miranda Hobbes: Just when I thought it couldn't get any gayer than "Mr. Broadway has to tinkle."

"Sex and the City: The Drought (#1.11)" (1998)
Miranda: [Carrie told Miranda that she farted while in bed with Big] You farted. You're human.
Carrie Bradshaw: I don't want him to know that.

"Sex and the City: The Good Fight (#4.13)" (2002)
Carrie: You can stay here with your boxes of shit and your shoe-eating dog, and knock yourself out putting on the rogaine and the speedstick!

"Sex and the City: Was It Good for You? (#2.16)" (1999)
Miranda Hobbes: [dissatisfied with her new bedsheets] Does everything I bring into this room have to have a flaw?
Carrie Bradshaw: Ha ha.

"Sex and the City: The Perfect Present (#6.3)" (2003)
Charlotte: Doesn't that waiter look familiar?
Samantha: I fucked him.
Carrie: Oh. *That* guy.

"Sex and the City: What's Sex Got to Do with It? (#4.4)" (2001)
Carrie: How does that work? You go to bed one night, wake up the next morning, and poof - you're a lesbian?

"Sex and the City: Let There Be Light (#6.13)" (2004)
[about Alek's sex appeal]
Carrie Bradshaw: I almost did it with him on a park bench in front of children.
Samantha Jones: What stopped you?
Carrie Bradshaw: Uh, common decency?
Samantha Jones: [flippantly] Oh, that.

"Sex and the City: The Catch (#6.8)" (2003)
[on trapeze-flying]
Charlotte York: I could never! I have the most terrible fear of heights.
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, I do not. You've seen my shoes.

"Sex and the City: The Big Time (#3.8)" (2000)
Carrie: One woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat.

"Sex and the City: No Ifs, Ands or Butts (#3.5)" (2000)
Miranda: You haven't had a crush since Big.
Carrie: Big wasn't a crush. He was a crash.

"Sex and the City: To Market, to Market (#6.1)" (2003)
Carrie Bradshaw: I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet.

"Sex and the City: Twenty-Something Girls vs. Thirty-Something Women (#2.17)" (1999)
Carrie: And then I realised something, twenty-something girls are just fabulous, until you see one with the man who broke your heart.

"Sex and the City: My Motherboard, My Self (#4.8)" (2001)
Charlotte: Sex can still be great without an orgasm.
Samantha: That is such a crock of shit.
Carrie Bradshaw: She has a point.

"Sex and the City: Running with Scissors (#3.11)" (2000)
Carrie: [to Big] You and I are so over we need a new word for it.

"Sex and the City: A Woman's Right to Shoes (#6.9)" (2003)
Carrie: The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.

"Sex and the City: Evolution (#2.11)" (1999)
Carrie: Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.

"Sex and the City: Oh Come All Ye Faithful (#1.12)" (1998)
Carrie Bradshaw: He introduced me to his mother as a friend. She never even heard of me. That isn't a good sign.
Miranda Hobbes: Maybe they're not that close.
Carrie Bradshaw: Come on, don't lie. You're in a church.

"Sex and the City: Defining Moments (#4.3)" (2001)
Carrie: I just left "silent Y" in the bathroom. Oh and P.S., apparently the eighties are back.