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Quotes for
Carrie Bradshaw (Character)
from "Sex and the City" (1998)

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Sex and the City (2008)

Carrie Bradshaw: Some labels are best left in the closet.

Carrie Bradshaw: And we were dressed from head to toe in love... the only label that never goes out of style.

Resort Worker: Very good, Mrs. Preston.
[walks away from table]
Carrie Bradshaw: [gives blank look] That was like taking a bullet.

Miranda Hobbes: [at a bar, drinking Cosmopolitans] Why did we ever stop drinking these?
Carrie Bradshaw: Because everyone else started!

Carrie Bradshaw: Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants.

Samantha Jones: I can't color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box
Carrie Bradshaw: We get it! You like to color...

Carrie Bradshaw: When Big colors... he rarely stays within the lines.

Carrie Bradshaw: Women come to New York for the two L's: Labels and Love.

Carrie Bradshaw: I thought I'd still be in extreme pain. But I feel nothing. I'd like some more nothing.
[Miranda pours her some more Skyy vodka]

Carrie Bradshaw: What does your gut tell you?

Samantha Jones: [hands Carrie her iPhone, which Carrie returns somewhat disgusted]
Carrie Bradshaw: I don't know how to work this!

Carrie Bradshaw: It's the last single girl kiss.

Charlotte York: I always knew she'd marry Big.
Samantha Jones: You thought that after the second break up?
Charlotte York: Yep.
Miranda Hobbes: After the fifteenth?
Carrie Bradshaw: Ha ha, we broke up a lot.

Miranda Hobbes: The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh you just said a mouthful there sister.

Carrie Bradshaw: Well, honny, what have you been eating?
Samantha Jones: Everything except Dante's dick.

Carrie Bradshaw: Lets go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my Mexi-coma.
Samantha Jones: Aww, you made a little joke. Good for you!

Miranda Hobbes: Is it just me or is Valentine's Day on steroids this year?
Carrie Bradshaw: No it's the same, we just played for the other team.

Anthony Marentino: The invitations are fancier than the dress.
Carrie Bradshaw: I heard that.
Anthony Marentino: I meant you to!

Carrie Bradshaw: Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. I think you're done.

Carrie Bradshaw: You brought me back to life.

Carrie Bradshaw: Yes, the honeymoon to a romantic Mexican resort that I prepaid on my credit card to surprise the man who jilted me.

Carrie Bradshaw: I know, my head's in the Witness Protection Program.

Carrie Bradshaw: I put a bird in my hair.

Carrie Bradshaw: I let the wedding get bigger than Big.

Carrie Bradshaw: What makes you think something bad is gonna happen?
Charlotte York: Because! Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.
Carrie Bradshaw: Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. I think you're done.

Carrie Bradshaw: New York Magazine says Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.
Miranda Hobbes: Yes, but whoever wrote that lives in Brooklyn.

Carrie Bradshaw: It wasn't logic, it was love.

Mr. Big: You make me very happy.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, yeah... put it in writing.

Carrie Bradshaw: Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories
Carrie Bradshaw: But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love.

Carrie Bradshaw: They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.

Carrie Bradshaw: [braces herself in the door, bows] Hello... I live here!

Mr. Big: Would you want to get married?
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, I didn't, didn't think that was an option.
Mr. Big: What if it was an option?
Carrie Bradshaw: Why? What? Do you want to get married?
Mr. Big: I wouldn't mind being married to you. Would you mind being married to me?
Carrie Bradshaw: No, no, not, not if that's what you wanted. I mean, is, is that what you want?
Mr. Big: I want you. So, ok.
Carrie Bradshaw: So really, we're, we're getting married?
Mr. Big: We're getting married. Should we get you a diamond?
Carrie Bradshaw: No. No. Just get me a really big closet.

Carrie Bradshaw: Maybe you're only alloted a certain amount of tears per man; and I've used mine up.

"Sex and the City: The Real Me (#4.2)" (2001)

Carrie: You're Heidi Klum!

Carrie: I have a style and jeweled panties aren't it.

Stanford: [eyeing an attractive man at a club] Do you think he's a model?
Carrie: A model what? A model citizen? A model home? A model airplane?
Stanford: I think he's the dirty-haired Gucci guy - with clean hair.

Carrie: Why don't you go over and say hello?
Stanford: Oh, he's gorgeous. The only way I could get a guy like that interested in me, would be to pay him.
Carrie: Stanford, my love, there is no need for you to enter Hookerville.
Stanford: [dejected] Carrie - I *know* what I look like.
Carrie: Then you can't see what I see.
[kisses his cheek]

Carrie: Dolce and Gabanna picked me?
Fashion show producer: Yes, fuckette, and those are some picky Italians.

Carrie: When I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I felt it fed me more.

"Sex and the City: Anchors Away (#5.1)" (2002)

Charlotte: Everyone knows you only get two great loves in your life.
Carrie: Everyone who? Where'd you get that?
Charlotte: I read it in a magazine.
Miranda: What magazine, "Convenient Theories for You Monthly"?

Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.

Carrie: That's another reason I love New York. Just like that, it can go from bad to cute.

Carrie: [to Samantha] This past week I've seen Miranda's boobs and Charlotte's boob. Why don't you show me your boobs too and the circle is full?
[Samantha flashes her boobs]
Carrie: I was kidding.

[Charlotte has just told the girls about a magazine article she read which said that a woman only gets two "great loves" in her lifetime]
Charlotte: So far I've only had one great love - Trey.
[to Miranda]
Charlotte: How many great loves have you had?
Miranda: Zero.
Carrie: Really? What about Steve?
Miranda: Steve's a friend, not a core-shaker.
Samantha: Well, I'm done with great love. I'm back to great lovers.
Miranda: [to Carrie] You?
Carrie: I refuse to define love in those limited terms
Miranda: [laughing] I had to!
Charlotte: Oh, come on Carrie! Aidan and Big!
[Charlotte pauses as she realizes what she just said. Carrie looks up at her]
Carrie: One, two. And according to you, I'm done!
Charlotte: No, no, it was a stupid article. It was at the dentist!
Carrie: No, no, no, no, too late now. You said it, it's over for me. "Here lies Carrie. She had two loves and lots o' shoes."

"Sex and the City: The Big Journey (#5.7)" (2002)

Samantha: Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good you can't get it anymore, if it's bad you just had sex with an ex.
Carrie: It wouldn't be bad.
Samantha: Oh.

Carrie: [squeals] I'm gonna get laid! I'M GONNA GET LAID!

Carrie: What? Now? What about last night, all those concerns?
Big: Fuck it. You'll need material for the sequel.

Carrie: [on starting an all-male brothel industry] We should open one in every block, like Starbucks!
Samantha: Starfucks!

Carrie: [waiting with Mr. Winkle, the puppet dog, for her book reading to start] This book tour's tough.
Carrie: [Mr. Winkle continues to nod and pant. Carrie gives him a good look] That's a cute top.

"Sex and the City: Ex and the City (#2.18)" (1999)

[on meeting Big's new girlfriend]
Carrie: [quoting "The Way We Were"] Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.
Mr. Big: I don't get it.
Carrie: And you never did.

Carrie: You string me along for two years and you marry some 25 year old girl after five months.

Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.

Carrie: [Miranda has just told Carrie that Steve wants to be exclusive, and that she's feeling conflicted about it] Uh-oh. Time for the ol' list.
Miranda: The list?
Carrie: Things you like about Steve, things you don't like about Steve. Then see which list is longer.
Miranda: That seems so judgmental.
Carrie: Miranda, you *are* judgmental. Try putting it to good use.

Samantha: Women are for friendships, and men are for fucking.
Carrie: Honey, you have got to learn to form an opinion.

Sex and the Matrix (2000) (TV)

Neo: Carrie, I have to tell you something about the Matrix.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh! I threw up in the Matrix didn't I?
Neo: No, no, no, you threw up in the real world. The Matrix is a system created by robots. It's like the real world but it isn't real. The Matrix is real but it's like the real world that isn't real. At least that's what the robots want us to think. But I don't think the robots are real. Wait... Robots, which are real, but they told you it's fake, they know it's real... The numbers are... Wait.
[frustrated]
Neo: I should've written this down.
Carrie Bradshaw: [raises one eyebrow, narrates] Something told me it wasn't the first time he was confused.

Carrie Bradshaw: Oh, like you two have never woken up covered in goo.

Neo: This is where you belong, Carrie! Here, in the real world.
Carrie Bradshaw: Neo, your apartment has no natural light. I'm wearing a freakin' potato sack, and I've got an outlet in the back of my head!
Carrie Bradshaw: Screw the real world, give me the Matrix!

Neo: I'm Neo!
Carrie Bradshaw: [narrates] There he was: cute, cocky, and awfully flexible.

Morpheus: I am Morpheus.
Carrie Bradshaw: [mimicking him, amused] I am Carrie.

"Sex and the City: An American Girl in Paris: Part Deux (#6.20)" (2004)

Carrie: I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

Big: You know, I don't live here anymore and the Plaza won't check you in until 1.
Carrie: Oh, you wanna come up?
Big: Abso-fucking-lutely.

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Carrie: [Picking up beads from her broken necklace, Carrie looks up and sees Big smiling down at her] Hi.
[Bursts into tears]
Big: Hey! Hey! Why the tears?
Carrie: Paris is a mess. I never should have come here. Everything fell apart, we had a big fight and then I got slapped.
Big: [shocked] You got what?
Carrie: No, he didn't mean it. It was just an accident.
Big: [enraged] He slapped you? I'll kick his ass.
Carrie: What? No!
Big: Ok, what room were you in?
Carrie: I'm not telling you that.
Night Clerk: I see you were in room 521.
Big: Room 521? Thank you.
[storms off]
Carrie: Wait! What do you think you're doing?
Big: I think I'm kicking some Russian ass.

Carrie: I miss New York. Take me home.

"Sex and the City: Sex and the Country (#4.9)" (2001)

Carrie: You can't make friends with a squirrel. Squirrels are just rats with cuter outfits.

Carrie: Hi, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, a large fries and a Cosmopolitan.

Carrie: If by "going," you mean being taken against my will and kidnapped, then yes I'm going. So, enjoy me now, ladies, because this weekend I am Patty Hearst in a mud puddy. I'm a hick town hostage.

Carrie: The only thing I've ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires.

"Sex and the City: The Agony and the Ex-tacy (#4.1)" (2001)

Carrie: [leaving a message for Big] Hey, uh, I think you're still in England but, uh, its midnight here in New York, and its my birthday. I am official old. So um, I felt the need to call someone... older... haha. Uh anyway some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow night, well actually its tonight and you're a friend so, um, if you are back in town it's going to be at Ilcantanori at 8:30 and if you're still in London... cheerio old chap... so, okay

Samantha: I masturbated to my priest... Friar Fuck!
Carrie: Okay, I think we're going to have to get Charlotte a crash helmet.
Charlotte: You have a priest?

Carrie: It's after twelve. You're late.
Mr. Big: Not really, I'm on London time.
Carrie: London is five hours ahead.
Mr. Big: In that case, I'm really fucking late.

Carrie: [Carrie just turned 35] I'm thirty-five.
Samantha: Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm a hundred and forty.

"Sex and the City: Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman (#3.3)" (2000)

Carrie: She's shiny Hair Style Section Vera Wang and I'm the sex column they run next to ads for penile implants.

Carrie: I've talked to her twice. Once I was in a cowboy hat and once I was in my bra. I'm like friggin' Annie Get Your Clothes On.

Charlotte: I didn't grow up in a naked house.
Carrie: Well I didn't either.
Charlotte: [laughing about a naked woman in the locker room] I bet she grew up in a naked house.
Carrie: She might still live in a naked house.

Carrie: I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.

"Sex and the City: I Heart NY (#4.18)" (2002)

Samantha Jones: Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good you can't get it anymore. If it's bad you just had sex with an ex.
Carrie Bradshaw: It wouldn't be bad.
Samantha Jones: Oh.

[after hearing Big is moving to Napa, California]
Carrie: If you're tired you take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa.

Carrie: It's good to know that the ones you love will always be in your heart. And if you're very lucky, only a plane ride away.

Carrie: "Going-out-of-business sex", what do we think?
Miranda: [immediately] No.
Carrie: All right, Quick Draw, give it a second here.
Miranda: [gives it a literal second] No.

"Sex and the City: The Freak Show (#2.3)" (1999)

Carrie: That was the day I came face to face with my freak: The frightening woman whose fear ate her sanity.

Carrie: Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better.

Miranda: Whatever happened to aging gracefully?
Carrie: It got old.

Miranda: If a man is over thirty and single, there's something wrong with him. It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out from propagating the species.
Carrie: Okay, what about us?
Miranda: We're just choosy.

"Sex and the City: Change of a Dress (#4.15)" (2002)

Samantha: [to the girls] I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.
Carrie: Now it's airborne.

Carrie: I am yours. There is no one else. I love you. But I can't marry you to make you trust me. Aidan. Aidan. Look at me before we make a huge mistake.
Aidan Shaw: If you don't want to marry me right now, you'll never want to marry me.
Carrie: That's not true.
Aidan Shaw: I think it is.

Carrie: We had left the world of black and white, and now everything was gray.

"Sex and the City: Plus One Is the Loneliest Number (#5.5)" (2002)

Carrie: That's my call, can you hang on?
Charlotte: [the doorbell rings] No, I can't. That's the locksmith. Bunny's back.

Charlotte: The thing is... there are some things people don't admit because they just don't like the way it sounds. Like, 'I'm getting divorced.'
Carrie: I'm lonely. I am. The loneliness is palpable.

Carrie: We were having one of those great first dates that you can only have when its not an actual date.

"Sex and the City: Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda (#4.11)" (2001)

Miranda: [on finding out she is pregnant] WHY didn't I use a condom?
Carrie: You didn't use a condom?
Miranda: He has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary! In what twisted world does that create a baby? It's like the Special Olympics of conception!

Carrie: Here. Swear. Swear on Chanel.

Miranda: Oh God, Carrie, is this my baby? I mean, what am I waiting for?
Carrie: Sweetie, do you want to leave?
Miranda: No, I can't have a baby. I could barely find the time to schedule this abortion.

"Sex and the City: Unoriginal Sin (#5.2)" (2002)

Carrie: [dedicating her book] To single women everywhere, and one in particular... my good friend Charlotte, the eternal optimist, who always believes in love.

Miranda: Baptism is a very odd tradition. It's all about cleansing this little baby of its sins, when clearly babies come into the world with a clean slate and we're the ones who fuck 'em up.
Carrie: So you're a pessimist, right?
Miranda: Have we met?

Carrie: [while trolling for men with Charlotte] You have slept with eight men and we're still on appetizers.

"Sex and the City: One (#6.12)" (2003)

Carrie: When will waiting for "the one"... be done?

Carrie: I was told there'd be no clowns - nothing scarier than a clown.

Carrie: I have a bit of an art question. As you know, Alexander...
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Aleksandr.
Carrie: Oh.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Aleksandr.
Carrie: Alexander.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Say "Alek".
Carrie: Alek.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Aleksandr.
Carrie: Alexander.
Aleksandr Petrovsky: Call me Bob.

"Sex and the City: Easy Come, Easy Go (#3.9)" (2000)

Charlotte: I proposed to myself.
Carrie: What?
Charlotte: Yes. I suggested he have a tomato salad, then I suggested we get married.
Carrie: Wait. What exactly did he say?
Charlotte: All righty.
Carrie: All righty? He said all righty? Now I'm thinking the upsetting thing isn't that you proposed, it's that you proposed to a guy that says "all righty".
Charlotte: Oh, Carrie, stop.
Carrie: All righty.

[the girls are having lunch]
Carrie: Big's leaving his wife!
[all girls gasp]
Carrie: He got drunk and told me at the furniture show
Miranda: What was he doing at a furniture show?
Carrie: Drinkin' and leaving his wife!

"Sex and the City: Frenemies (#3.16)" (2000)

Carrie Bradshaw: Have you met Liz? She works in TV.
Guy: Get outta here! I love TV!

Carrie: That night, Trey successfully screwed his wife for a full minute-and-a-half... before the wind died.

"Sex and the City: Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl... (#3.4)" (2000)

Sean: [ice skating] You know it might be easier to balance without the cigarette.
Carrie: Cigarettes are the only thing that keep me balanced.

Carrie: Vodka, rum, gin, gay, bi, straight... this party was a veritable pu pu platter of sexual orientation.

"Sex and the City: An American Girl in Paris: Part Une (#6.19)" (2004)

[at Carrie's very emotional and weepy goodbye dinner - Charlotte in particular is being a total weepy waterworks]
Samantha: Let's pull it up, shall we? I'd like to show my face here again.
Carrie: Yes, here's to go. Right. Someone say something not sentimental.
Samantha: Chemo might have kicked me into early menopause.
Miranda: Task accomplished!
Samantha: You cannot BELIEVE the hot flashes! I can barely keep my clothes on!
Carrie: Really? What was your excuse before the chemo?
Samantha: [lovingly] I'm gonna miss you, you cunt.
[Charlotte breaks into tears again, devastated that Carries is leaving for Paris in a few hours]
Miranda: Wow, even "cunt" didn't stop her!

Carrie: You do this every time! *Every* time! What? Do you have some sort of radar? Carrie might be happy - it's time to sweep in and shit all over it?
Big: What? No, no, I came here to tell you something. I made a mistake. You and I...
Carrie: You and I - *nothing*! You can not do this to me again! You can not jerk me around!
Big: Carrie, listen to me. It is different this time...
Carrie: Oh, it's never different! It's six years of *never* being different! This is it! I am done! Don't call me ever again! Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name! And you can drive up this street all you want - because I don't live here any more!

"Sex and the City: The Man, the Myth, the Viagra (#2.8)" (1999)

Carrie Bradshaw: I have a huge favor to ask: I want you to know my friends better.
Mr. Big: I know your friends just fine. Charlotte is the brunette, Miranda is the redhead, and Samantha is trouble.

[Carrie explains to Miranda she blew off their dinner date for dinner with Big]
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, he got this veal...
Miranda Hobbes: You blew me off for a piece of politically incorrect meat?

"Sex and the City: Cover Girl (#5.4)" (2002)

[Miranda's new "Weight Watchers" boyfriend is a messy lover to which Carrie quips]
Carrie: Miranda's over-eater over-ate her.

Carrie: [while talking about a possible cover for her book that she didn't like] Well, wait, let me see it again.
Carrie: [they show her the book] No, absolutely not, I would rather die.

"Sex and the City: Hop, Skip, and a Week (#6.6)" (2003)

Mr. Big: How are things with that guy, Hot Dog?
Carrie: Berger.

Carrie: What are you doing golfing?
Mr. Big: Oh, I'm just in it for the Scotch afterwards.

"Sex and the City: Hot Child in the City (#3.15)" (2000)

Mrs. Adams: [Wade and Carrie have been smoking pot at Wade's house. Wade's parents come home early and Mrs. Adams smells marijuana] Have you been smoking marijuana in my house?
Wade: [looks at Carrie] Carrie brought it.
Mrs. Adams: Is this true Carrie?
Carrie: Yes it is Mrs. Adams. And I'm gonna take it with me when I leave.

Carrie: [laughing uncontrollably] Wait, Wade, Wait... The Chicken Wings. If they come in and see billions of chicken wings they're gonna know
[more laughing]
Carrie: ...that we were smoking the POT.

"Sex and the City: A 'Vogue' Idea (#4.17)" (2002)

[in the Vogue accessories closet]
Carrie Bradshaw: [shrieks as she picks up a pair of shoes] Oh my God! Do you know what these are? Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes! I thought these were an urban shoe myth!

Carrie: Hey, you think it could really be as simple as my father walked out, therefore I'll always be messed up about men?
Miranda: My father came home every night at seven on the dot and I have no clue about men either.

"Sex and the City: The Domino Effect (#6.11)" (2003)

Charlotte York: Big is in town?
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, he's having a little heart thing done.
Miranda Hobbes: What, is he on the wait list to get one?
Carrie Bradshaw: No, and you're going to feel incredibly bad in a minute: he's here because he's having heart surgery.
Miranda Hobbes: Okay, I'm officially a monster, please continue.

Carrie Bradshaw: Honey, if it hurts so much, why are we going shopping?
Samantha Jones: I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit.

"Sex and the City: Catch-38 (#6.15)" (2004)

Miranda: I don't understand, why do you have to have chemo?
Samantha Jones: Because he's an asshole!
Carrie Bradshaw: Apparently there could be something microscopic...
Samantha Jones: Like his dick!
Carrie Bradshaw: I'm sorry, do you have cancer or Tourette's?

[Carrie and Charlotte are in the park]
Carrie: The Russian doesn't want to have kids. Had one a long time ago. He's done.
Charlotte: Well, then, "dosvidanya" or however you say it.
Carrie: What? No! For you maybe, but not for me.
Charlotte: Don't you want to have the option?
Carrie: Well, yes. But it's my experience that men like him don't come along that often.
Charlotte: But we're 38! These are the years.
Carrie: Yes, I know, I've heard. I'm running out of time. I don't even have time to eat this cookie.
Charlotte: How is it?
Carrie: It's so good I forgot to have children.

"Sex and the City: Boy, Interrupted (#6.10)" (2003)

Carrie: You know what the craziest thing is? I actually thought after everything I've been through, I might end up with my high school boyfriend. Yeah, I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that.
Stanford: Your boyfriend might get tied up.
Carrie: ...and taken away! Okay, no more jokes. I might be dating him in eight to ten months.

Carrie: So maybe it won't look like you thought it would in high school, but it's important to remember that love is possible. Anything is possible. This is New York.

"Sex and the City: La Douleur Exquise! (#2.12)" (1999)

Carrie: Charlotte felt like Cinderella... Cinderella in a dirty, kinky, freaked out storybook parallel universe.

Carrie: [voice over] Did I really love Big, or was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable.

"Sex and the City: All or Nothing (#3.10)" (2000)

Samantha: Until he says "I love you", you're a free agent.
Carrie: What is this? The Rules According to Samantha?
Samantha: See? I'm more old-fashioned than you think.

Aidan Shaw: I don't want to be paranoid here, but you took Pete for a walk, and we both know you are not big on the dog-walking thing. And I smell something. Are you cheating? I can smell the smoke on you.
Carrie: Oh.

"Sex and the City: Cock-a-Doodle-Do (#3.18)" (2000)

Mr. Big: Stay.
Carrie: I can't.
Mr. Big: Why not?
Carrie: Because, dear friend, you and I are like that red wall. It's a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn't quite work.

Carrie: [narration at the finale, during the rooftop party] Don't worry - they have a very lovely life...

"Sex and the City: Sex and the City (#1.1)" (1998)

[last lines]
Carrie Bradshaw: Have you ever been in love?
Mr. Big: Abso-fucking-lutely!

Carrie Bradshaw: It's like the riddle of the Sphinx: why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

"Sex and the City: Secret Sex (#1.6)" (1998)

Carrie Bradshaw: [regarding Mr. Big] The thing is, I was dying to sleep with him, but isn't delayed gratification the definition of maturity?

Mr. Big: Interesting dress.
Carrie: Meaning?
Mr. Big: Interesting dress.

"Sex and the City: Just Say Yes (#4.12)" (2001)

Aidan Shaw: I love you, Carrie. There's no one I could love more. I want to live my life with you.
Carrie Bradshaw: [voice over] Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers. Maybe you just have to say what's in your heart.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yes.

Carrie Bradshaw: I'm engaged.
Samantha Jones: Fuck you!

"Sex and the City: Luck Be an Old Lady (#5.3)" (2002)

[a fat jerk wants Miranda to leave a blackjack table when they're in Atlantic City]
Jerk One: Hey red, move your fat ass!
Carrie: [after a stunned pause] What did you just say to her?
Samantha: Who the hell do you think you are?
Jerk Two: Get in the game or get out!
Miranda: [to the girls] Guys, let's just go. It's okay.
Carrie: No, it is most certainly *not* okay!
Charlotte: Listen, you big jerk, her "ass" isn't normally this big!
Miranda: [after a pause] Yes... thank you, I almost forgot! My ass is fat because I just had a baby, you asshole!
Samantha: What's your excuse?
Carrie: Yeah, ya havin' triplets?

Carrie: Here we are ladies, Atlantic City! Look around and breathe it all in!
Carrie: [breathes in] Ahhhhhh, I've missed this! Ahhh, yeah!
Samantha: You've been here before?
Carrie: I was referring to the cigarette smoke.

"Sex and the City: The Power of Female Sex (#1.5)" (1998)

Samantha: Money is power, sex is power, therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.
Carrie: Once again, Samantha managed to up-sex me.

"Sex and the City: Baby, Talk Is Cheap (#4.6)" (2001)

Carrie: Wait a minute. Are we talking tukhis lingus?

"Sex and the City: Time and Punishment (#4.7)" (2001)

Carrie Bradshaw: Aidan, you can't keep punishing me, and I can't keep punishing me. I made a mistake and I am sorry, and I know that you can't forget what happened, but I hope that you can forgive me. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me, Aidan. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me.

"Sex and the City: The Caste System (#2.10)" (1999)

Mr. Big: Listen. I know what you're really pissed off about. But it's just something I've gotta do in my own time! Okay? Well, I fucking love you! All right? You know I do.... It's just a tough thing for me to say, because it always seems to get me in trouble ... when I say it. Okay?
Carrie Bradshaw: Okay.

"Sex and the City: Take Me Out to the Ball Game (#2.1)" (1999)

Carrie: Miranda was a huge fan of the Yankees. I was a huge fan of being anywhere you could smoke and drink at two in the afternoon without judgment.

"Sex and the City: I Love a Charade (#5.8)" (2002)

Carrie Bradshaw: He doesn't need her money, he was one of the original investors in "A Chorus Line."
Miranda Hobbes: Just when I thought it couldn't get any gayer than "Mr. Broadway has to tinkle."

"Sex and the City: The Drought (#1.11)" (1998)

Miranda: [Carrie told Miranda that she farted while in bed with Big] You farted. You're human.
Carrie Bradshaw: I don't want him to know that.

"Sex and the City: The Cheating Curve (#2.6)" (1999)

Carrie: Someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.
Miranda: That's moral relativism.
Carrie: I prefer to think of it as quantum cheating.

"Sex and the City: What's Sex Got to Do with It? (#4.4)" (2001)

Carrie: How does that work? You go to bed one night, wake up the next morning, and poof - you're a lesbian?

"Sex and the City: Three's a Crowd (#1.8)" (1998)

Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: I didn't know you were into children's books.
Carrie: Well, who doesn't love children's books?
Carrie: [in her head] Five minutes of bodice-ripping material out the window. So, I did what any writer would do... I pulled an idea out of my ass.
Carrie: Well, my story's about a little girl... named Cathy. Little Cathy.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: And what makes Little Cathy special?
Carrie: Well, um, she has these magic...
[looks at cigarettes in her purse]
Carrie: ...cigarettes.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: She has magic cigarettes?
Carrie: Yes, "Little Cathy and Her Magic Cigarettes". And whenever she lights up, she can go anywhere in the whole wide world. Like Arabia or New Jersey! Of course that's going to be worked out.
Barbara, Mr. Big's Ex-Wife: You want to write a children's book about smoking?
Carrie: Yes, it's a children's book for adults.

"Sex and the City: The Catch (#6.8)" (2003)

[on trapeze-flying]
Charlotte York: I could never! I have the most terrible fear of heights.
Carrie Bradshaw: Well, I do not. You've seen my shoes.

"Sex and the City: The Post-it Always Sticks Twice (#6.7)" (2003)

Carrie: Ooh, hear that? It's midnight, the official end to what will now be known as the day I got arrested for smokin' a doobie.
[giggling uncontrollably]
Carrie: I said "doobie".

"Sex and the City: A Woman's Right to Shoes (#6.9)" (2003)

Carrie: The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.

"Sex and the City: Evolution (#2.11)" (1999)

Carrie: Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.

"Sex and the City: Great Sexpectations (#6.2)" (2003)

Carrie: You've traded Steve-o for TiVo

"Sex and the City: Games People Play (#2.13)" (1999)

Carrie Bradshaw: So why are you in therapy. Seriously?
Seth: I'm really fucked up about women. After I sleep with them, I completely lose interest. What about you? What's your problem?
Carrie Bradshaw: [narrating] I believe in therapy, this moment is called "the breakthrough".
Carrie Bradshaw: I pick the wrong men.

"Sex and the City: Shortcomings (#2.15)" (1999)

Carrie: Yes, we'd love to meet Wesley of Wesley and Leslie. And by the way, does he work at Nestlé?

"Sex and the City: Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys (#1.4)" (1998)

Miranda Hobbes: If he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or respect you less? That's the issue.
Taxi Driver: [to Carrie] No smoking in the cab.
Carrie: Sir, we're talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.
Samantha Jones: Front, back, who cares? A hole is a hole.
Miranda Hobbes: Can I quote you?
Samantha Jones: Don't be so judgmental. You could use a little back door.
Charlotte: I'm not a hole.
Carrie: Honey, we know.

"Sex and the City: Defining Moments (#4.3)" (2001)

Carrie: I just left "silent Y" in the bathroom. Oh and P.S., apparently the eighties are back.

"Sex and the City: The Ick Factor (#6.14)" (2004)

Carrie: [offscreen] The only thing harder than choosing a spot for your wedding when you hate weddings is choosing a wedding gift for your friend who hates weddings.
Charlotte: What about a guest book?
Carrie: There's gonna be like eight of us there. There's no one to keep track of. I can't believe Miranda is getting married.
Charlotte: [holds up heart shaped dish] This is pretty!
Samantha: Oh, she'll hate that. Too domestic.
Carrie: And too bridey.
Samantha: Yeah, let's try not to piss her off.
Charlotte: Maybe we should just buy her a stapler, wrap it in brown paper and just smear some dog poo on it! Think she'd be comfortable with that?
Carrie: Fine. We'll get the dish.

"Sex and the City: Sex and Another City (#3.14)" (2000)

Carrie: One woman's pornographer is another woman's spiritual leader.

"Sex and the City: Splat! (#6.18)" (2004)

[Carrie and Miranda are fighting because Miranda does not want Carrie to move to Paris with Petrovsky]
Carrie Bradshaw: Just say it! You don't like him!
Miranda Hobbes: Fine! I don't like him!
Carrie Bradshaw: Then don't *you* go to Paris with him.
[walks away]

"Sex and the City: Belles of the Balls (#4.10)" (2001)

Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it.

"Sex and the City: Politically Erect (#3.2)" (2000)

Stanford: I can only stay a few minutes. I got tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Carrie: Why?
Stanford: Just because I don't eat at the restaurant doesn't mean I can't hear the specials.

"Sex and the City: The Good Fight (#4.13)" (2002)

Carrie: You can stay here with your boxes of shit and your shoe-eating dog, and knock yourself out putting on the rogaine and the speedstick!

"Sex and the City: The Perfect Present (#6.3)" (2003)

Charlotte: Doesn't that waiter look familiar?
Samantha: I fucked him.
Carrie: Oh. *That* guy.

"Sex and the City: The Big Time (#3.8)" (2000)

Carrie: One woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat.

"Sex and the City: The Monogamists (#1.7)" (1998)

Carrie: I've done the merry go round I've been through the revolving door I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and... don't you wanna stand still with me?
Big: You dragged me out to a park at three in the morning to ask me if I wanna stand still with you?
Carrie: ...Yes.