Dora Charleston
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Quotes for
Dora Charleston (Character)
from Murder by Death (1976)

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Murder by Death (1976)
Dora Charleston: Mr. Diamond, there's a bullet hole in your jacket.
Sam Diamond: You should see the other guy.

[Hearing a knock at the door]
Dora Charleston: Oh, that's probably the cook. Come in!
Dick Charleston: Darling, the poor woman is stone deaf.
Dora Charleston: I'm sorry, I forgot. COME IN!

Dora Charleston: Is he dead?
Sam Diamond: With a thing like that in his back, in the long run, he's better off.

Dora Charleston: What a godforsaken spot to get lost!
Dick Charleston: I'm sure I saw a much better spot a few miles back.

Dick Charleston: Up there, Dora, look - a blind butler.
Dora Charleston: Don't let him park the car, Dickie.

Lionel Twain: I'm the greatest, I'm number one!
Sam Diamond: To me, you look like number two, know what I mean?
Dora Charleston: What DOES he mean, Miss Skeffington?
Tess Skeffington: I'll tell you later. It's disgusting.

Jessica Marbles: I'm not one to use hyperbole, ladies and gentlemen but I'll tell you this, for the first time in my life I had the caca scared out of me!
Dora Charleston: Dickie, I like her I really like her!

Dick Charleston: [hanging up telephone] Sounded as though somebody snipped the wire.
Dora Charleston: Really? What did it sound like?
Dick Charleston: Snip.

Dick Charleston: [inspecting their room] This dust is baking flour. And those cobwebs. Candied sugar. All placed here recently for the sole purpose of frightening us. And that mouse. Obviously a mechanical toy.
[picks up mouse and laughs]
Dick Charleston: Silly.
Dora Charleston: What is?
Dick Charleston: I am. It's real.

Sidney Wang: Quiet, please. Observe strange sounds.
[the room is filled with hideous death-groans]
Dora Charleston: Good God! The face! It's coming from the face!
[Sure enough, that agonized moaning issues from the African death-mask on the wall]
Dick Charleston: The victim of that tribal ritual, actually going through his final moments of death! What could it mean?
Jamesir Bensonmum: It means dinner is ready, sir. We have no gong.

[stumbling around during a blackout]
Dora Charleston: Dickie, don't. You know how I get when you touch me there.
Dick Charleston: Me, darling? I've got my hands in my pockets.
Sam Diamond: I'm afraid they're my pockets.
Dick Charleston: Oh, sorry about that.
Dora Charleston: Dickie, behave yourself.

Sam Diamond: You say you know who's going to get it?
Lionel Twain: Intimately.
Inspector Milo Perrier: And you know how the crime is to be committed?
Lionel Twain: Definitely.
Sidney Wang: And exactly what time murder to take place?
Lionel Twain: *The* murder. Precisely.
Dora Charleston: Well, I know it's none of my business, but doesn't that mean that you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?

Dora Charleston: Where's my Dickie?
[everyone stares at her]
Dora Charleston: Sorry. Where's my husband?

Dora Charleston: I want you to know, Dickie, that if you're the murderer, I'll still love you. I don't think it would be right for us to make love, but I'd still love you.

Dick Charleston: Now let's see what we have here. We have one missing, dead, naked butler, one host with a butcher's knife in his back, and one poisonous scorpion crawling up our sheets.
Dora Charleston: Is that what that is?
Dick Charleston: Yes. They can kill instantly. I suggest we don't move.
Dora Charleston: For how long?
Dick Charleston: Quite possibly for the rest of our lives.

Dora Charleston: I don't understand. Why would anybody want to steal a dead, naked body?
Dick Charleston: Well, dear, there are people who, um...
[whispers rest into her ear]
Dora Charleston: Oh, that's tacky! That's REALLY tacky!

Dick Charleston: [introducing them] My wife Dora. Inspector Perrier.
Milo Perrier: Très charmant.
[kisses her hand, then coughs]
Dora Charleston: I'm sorry. Our room is so dusty.
Milo Perrier: My fault. I should have blown first.

Dora Charleston: Thank you. You are?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Bensonmum.
Dora Charleston: Thank you, Benson.
Jamesir Bensonmum: No, no, no, no, no... Bensonmum. My name is Bensonmum.
Dick Charleston: Bensonmum?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Yes, sir. Jamesir Bensonum.
Dick Charleston: Jamesir?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Yes, sir.
Dick Charleston: Jamesir Bensonmum?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Yes, sir.
Dick Charleston: How odd.
Jamesir Bensonmum: My father's name, sir.
Dick Charleston: What was your father's name?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Howard. Howard Bensonmum.
Dick Charleston: Your father was Howard Bensonmum?
Dora Charleston: Leave it be, Dickie. I've had enough.

Dick Charleston: [Cutting-room floor-scene of the Charlestons driving through heavy fog to Twain Manor] ... You know something, darling? I smell crime in the air.
Dora Charleston: I'm not surprised. You just ran over a small animal.
Dick Charleston: Did I? Oh, sorry about that... LOOK OUT!
[he slams on the brakes to avoid hitting Tess]
Dick Charleston: ... Hello out there! Are you hurt?
Tess Skeffington: [exhausted from walking] ... Oh, I'm fine - I just hiked five miles back this way from the gas station. Thank Heavens you saw me when you did.
Dick Charleston: Oh yes, I wouldn't want blood on my hands twice in one night. Well, keep to the side of the road.
[he drives off, leaving Tess standing there!]

Sidney Wang: [reading note from mute cook] I think butler is dead! My name is Yetta, I don't work Thursdays.
Dora Charleston: Ask her if she sleeps in, Dickie!

Dora Charleston: [after Wang demonstrates his wine was poisoned] Great Scott Mr. Wang, you've saved our lives.
Milo Perrier: Not quite, Mrs. Charleston. Bon Apetit
[drinks wine - company gasps and exclaims]
Milo Perrier: . Since Monsieur Wang was the only one who could detect such a poison, he was the only one who was tested. Point 5: Mr. Twain is both beguiling and fiendish.
[crys out]
Milo Perrier: Mon Amis!
Dora Charleston: Oh get a doctor quick!
Milo Perrier: No, no, it's alright, my wine is not poisoned. It was just a bad year.

Dora Charleston: I hope he knows how to stop that thing.