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Quotes for
Doc Cochran (Character)
from "Deadwood" (2004)

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"Deadwood: Sold Under Sin (#1.12)" (2004)
[Jewel and Doc are dancing together]
Jewel: Say 'I'm as nimble as a forest creature.'
Doc Cochran: You're as nimble as a forest creature.
Jewel: No, say it about yourself.
Doc Cochran: I'm as nimble as a forest creature.

Al Swearengen: [after Doc Cochran walks into Al's office without knocking] Walk in unannounced is a good way to get yourself killed, Doc, especially as the cavalry has us besieged.
Doc Cochran: I'm here about the minister. He's over at my place, past my art if I had any. He's damn near blind, mostly paralyzed. Past controlling his functions.
Al Swearengen: Well, you're preachin' to the fuckin' converted. Me, I would've seen to him, but... I've been fuckin' busy.
Doc Cochran: Well, he doesn't wanna be seen to like that.
Al Swearengen: What the fuck are we talkin' about?
Doc Cochran: A man being cared for and made comfortable 'til he expires. Girls you put to the task, deduct your time from my pay.
Al Swearengen: I get the bag of shit.
Doc Cochran: You get to care for a human being in his last extremity.
Al Swearengen: A human being in his last extremity IS a bag of shit.
Doc Cochran: [suddenly furious] AW, FUCK YOU, AL!
[Al turns and stares at Cochran in surprise]
Al Swearengen: I'll send someone over to pick him up.

E.B. Farnum: Hey doc the cavalry is in town.
Doc Cochran: Fuck the Cavalry!


"Deadwood: A Lie Agreed Upon: Part II (#2.2)" (2005)
[while working late at night in his cabin, Doc Cochran hears a thud, followed by Calamity Jane yelling at the passersby]
Calamity Jane: OW! Keep your fuckin' distance! Remain on your side of the street! Do not interfere with me in any way! Chinese cocksuckers! Ugh, Jesus...
[Cochran comes out of his cabin to find a drunken Jane lying in the mud next to her horse, her foot tangled in the stirrup]
Doc Cochran: Well, you are an entangled inebriate, are you not?
Calamity Jane: [slurring her words] This happens to be a rig and contraption of my own devising against repeated accidental falls that has temporarily malfunctioned.
Doc Cochran: Very well knotted.
[he begins untying her]
Calamity Jane: I'm back in camp, Cochran, 'cause I'm dyin', and I need a place to breathe my fuckin' last. And not for no human aid or consolation.
[Cochran struggles to untie the knot]
Calamity Jane: Jesus Christ, you're bad with your hands! If I wasn't practically fuckin' dead, I'd reach that knife and cut myself free.
[she grunts slightly]
Calamity Jane: Yeah, I just farted, so what?
[Cochran pulls the aforementioned knife out of a saddlebag]
Calamity Jane: Hey, hey hey!
[she grabs the knife out of his hands]
Calamity Jane: Don't you disarm me, you cocksucker! Lift me up so I can cut myself free!
[he gets behind Jane to pull her up by the armpits]
Doc Cochran: All right, ready?
[he lifts her up, and Jane cuts the rope that held her in place]
Doc Cochran: All right now, get under here.
[he lifts Jane to her feet by her armpits as she groans drunkenly]
Doc Cochran: Step inside and let me examine you. Even if you are past help, enhancing my understanding may allow others to benefit from your mortal illness.
Calamity Jane: Do you mock me, cocksucker?
Doc Cochran: No. Come on inside.
[Jane nods]
Doc Cochran: All right. There we go.
[he throws Jane's arm over his shoulder and walks her to the door]
Calamity Jane: [slurring her words again] Promise when I'm dead, you'll plant me with a view of where Bill is.


"Deadwood: True Colors (#3.3)" (2006)
Doc Cochran: I'm concerned that her mood seems labile.
Trixie: Does that mean she's talking through her cunt?


"Deadwood: Amateur Night (#3.9)" (2006)
Doc Cochran: I'm guessin' that your bottom rib is cracked, and this contusion at your belly'll show the colors of the rainbow before it's through with ya.
A. W. Merrick: Apparently, my expiration is not imminent.
Doc Cochran: Of course, I'm wrong as much as I am right...


"Deadwood: Childish Things (#2.8)" (2005)
Doc Cochran: I would see to those others pro bono.
Cy Tolliver: I know what that means. Prove to me you do.


"Deadwood: Deep Water (#1.2)" (2004)
Doc Cochran: I see as much misery outta them movin' to justify theirselves as them that set out to do harm.