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Joan
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Quotes for
Joan (Character)
from Playing by Heart (1998)

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Playing by Heart (1998)
Joan: Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.

Keenan: That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen.
Joan: She's an angel.
Keenan: She only has one eye.
Joan: Yeah, but it's her good one.

Keenan: What did I ever do to deserve you?
Joan: Usually that line is screamed at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change.

Keenan: This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.
Joan: So? We're all damaged goods.

Joan: You can't treat people the way you treat them and then say something adorable like that.

Keenan: I can't stop thinking about you.
Joan: I love conversations that start with the guy saying "I can't stop thinking about you." Mind you I've never actually been on the receiving end of any of those conversations...
Keenan: Just looking at you makes me happy.
Joan: I have - I have to sit down.
[almost knocks over the chair sitting down]
Keenan: When we're together, whether or not I show it, I just can't wait to hear the next words out of your mouth. But right now I need to ask you to do something for me.
Joan: Anything.
Keenan: Shut up.

Joan: When was having sex or not having sex not a problem?

Joan: I want to get rid of you as much as I want to get rid of that crap from Ikea.

Joan: Blanche can look at you with a gaze of unflappable superiority that springs from total detachment and disinterest... not unlike how you're looking at me know.

Joan: The lad doesn't say much and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul.

Keenan: This... isn't anything. It's not anything now and it won't be anything ever.
Joan: WOW. Message received, end of date.

Joan: I feed the fucking thing. I take her to the vet, all you do is pet her twice a day... which is a HELL of a lot more than you've been doing to me lately.

Joan: You don't say much, do you?
Keenan: Does anyone when they're with you?

[On the Phone]
Joan: What, is that a rhetorical question? Why is my life so complicated? Gee, I don't know. Why is your life so fucking simple?

Max: I uh... I like your tight body. It looks like it would do what I tell it.
Joan: What?
Max: I said...
Joan: No, I heard what you said. And I'll admit 'What?' was a rather banal, cliché, noncolorful response. What I really meant to say was: 'Why don't you do the world a big fat fucking favor and crawl back into your mother's womb?'

Joan: No, no, STOP. I've waited my entire life for somebody that I cared about to tell me they loved me and if you think you're getting out of this car now, you're INSANE.

Joan: Last time I saw Harry he was wearing a blue sweater and an idiotic expression. The sweater was new.

Max: Some girls like you to say things like that to them.
Joan: Some girls like you to take a dump on them. I'm neither one of those girls.

Joan: [to waitress] I'll have a vodka martini, very dry, straight up. three olives, and... my sullen friend here will have...
Keenan: A Coke.
Joan: The poster boy for designated drivers will have a *Coke.*

Paul: [a waiter arrives with a tray of champagne] Ah, champagne!
[Paul offers a glass to Joan]
Paul: Jo-Jo?
Joan: [smiling self-consciously, waves it away] Oh, um, Dad, that's okay. Keenan and I are just going to have a couple of cokes.
Hannah: [Paul and Hannah look at each other, shocked that Joan has passed up alcohol, then they both look at Keenan] Keenan, have I said how very nice it is to meet you?
Joan: Funny.

Joan: Hugh designs video games.
Keenan: Any I'd know?
Hugh: Uh..."Killer Golf" That was the last.
Keenan: Oh, man. That game was awesome! You have a hell of an imagination.
Joan: Hey, you owe me a dance.
Keenan: Just one?
Joan: No.