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Coach
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Quotes for
Coach (Character)
from Feast (2005)

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Feast (2005)
Coach: Oh dear.
Honey Pie: What? What's he doing?
Bozo: They're humping!
Beer Guy: Aw man! The monsters are doing it doggy style.
Hot Wheels: Monster sex.

Honey Pie: [Re: first monster trapped and killed] Jeez, it took all that? All those bullets?
Beer Guy: That's the LITTLE one? We can't fight these things! No way!
Heroine: We can still fight them. We just gotta be clever.
Coach: Maybe we don't have to fight them at all.
Bozo: Yeah, why don't we just call 'em names.

Bozo: Any more ideas, Animal Planet?
Coach: I-I was just being proactive!
Bartender: Hey Dipshit, I didn't see you helpin' did I...
Bozo: Oh, go douche, Grandpa!
Beer Guy: What now?
Tuffy: We're stuck in here, that's what.

Bozo: [Locked in bedroom as monster is coming through window] Okay! I'm ready to come out now!
Bartender: [Bartender fumbles outside with key; it breaks in the lock] Oh.
Bozo: [Panicking, rattling doorknob] OH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH"?
Coach: [Relatively calmly. i.e. oh, shit] Cheese and crackers.

Coach: [Both peering outside through secret hatch door in the dark basement] You know, you and I have a lot of similarities. Strong. Resolute...
Heroine: You need to be quiet.
Coach: I'm sorry. I talk when I'm nervous.
Heroine: Quiet.
Coach: It's just, it's been a while since someone's been horribly killed, and it seems like an opportune time for someone to be... well... offed.
Heroine: What did I say? Shh.
Coach: Sorry. I'm done now.
Coach: [Hoisting himself out the hatch door] Great men will tell of my bravery.

Coach: Whoa. Monster cock.

Coach: We got your front, bro.
Bozo: It's your back, we got your back.