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Quotes for
Joe Wenteworth (Character)
from Simon Birch (1998)

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Simon Birch (1998)
Simon: I've been thinking.
Joe: Yeah?
Simon: Last year we were in the squirt league, and this year we're in the pewee.
Joe: So?
Simon: So what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking.

Simon: I'm a miracle you know.
Joe: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Simon: She's so sexy that sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: Well, what if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I'd have you committed.

Simon: Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.
Joe: What if I said the same thing about your mother?
Simon: I'd have you committed.

Joe: I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.

Joe: My balls just turned to prunes!
Simon: My balls just turned to raisins!

Joe: Jesus, Simon, you look like shit.

Joe: Hey, your son is not a screw up, he's a hero.
Mr. Birch: What?
Joe: I said he's a hero. And you don't deserve him. I want you to know that.