The Fool
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Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)
The Fool: My father! You who died in childbirth!

The Queen: Kiss me quick!
The Fool: Yes!... where is your quick?

The Queen: Ah, 'tis the chastity belt that the jealous King hath fastened upon me that no one but he shalst have the goods of the body.
The Fool: Yeah, it's a pretty bad break for all of us at the Palace.

[the Fool standing next to the Queen in her bedroom]
The King: [to the Queen] Come, give me a kiss.
The Fool: 'Course, Milord - stick out your tongue.

The Fool: Before you know it, the Renaissance will be here and we'll all be painting.

The Fool: With most grievous dispatch I shall open the latch to get at her snatch!

[the King has caught the Fool hiding in the Queen's dress]
The Fool: Hi Milord! You remember when you said if I was ever in town, I should look up your wife?

The Queen: Hark unto me! If my husband the King and my son the Doctor walketh near upon these paved paths and heareth what thou saist about copping a feel, thy life would not be worth a plugged nickel!
The Fool: But Madam, so beautiful do they lay there, one on either side!
The Queen: 'One on either side'?
The Fool: A matched set!
The Queen: That's the way they were made, Fool! Away with thee!
[She storms away knocking the Fool over]
The Fool: I fell on my bells!