The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: How many analogies do you have left? Jack Menken
: How many does it take to make my point?
: Everyone's going to be writing about how honest you are and how straightforward. I just hope your honesty doesn't undercut your irreverence. Tom Dobbs
: Well I want to do a show about gay farmers and call it "Crop Circles", is that offensive? Jack Menken
: Not to me.
: You're a comedian who talks about politics. So when you talk about politics without the comedy, it's like wanting to have sex and forgetting to bring along the woman: you'll quickly discover something's missing. Look at it this way - who would you rather have dinner with, Richard Pryor in his prime, or UN President Kofi Annan? Tell me which dinner would be more entertaining, more interesting. Tom Dobbs
: If there's no candles, Pryor.
: Politicians today look like they're borrowed from the wax museum: they're already in their suits, waiting to be buried. You don't wanna be like them; you wanna be different.
: [in the hospital with Dobbs as the latter is winning the Presidential election
] This is the happiest night of my life, and I can't stay awake. Go figure.
: When you're in love with a beautiful woman, she can tell you that Gandhi ate hot dogs and you'll believe her.