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Quotes for
Dusty (Character)
from A Prairie Home Companion (2006)

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A Prairie Home Companion (2006)
[from trailer]
Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.

Al, Stage Manager: About that obscene song you sang last week...
Dusty: "I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs?"

Dusty: [singing] I used to work in Chicago, at a convenience store. / I used to work in Chicago. I did but I don't anymore. / A lady walked in with some porcelain skin and I asked her what she came in for. / "Liquor," she said, and lick her I did, and I don't work there anymore.

Dusty: Hey, uh... hey, Lefty. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
Lefty: What'd he say?
Dusty: It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

Dusty, Lefty: [singing] Bad jokes, Lord, I love 'em. / Bad jokes, can't get enough of em. / O-o-o-whee, / Bad jokes for me.

Dusty: [singing] When God created woman / He gave her not two breasts but three. / When the middle one got in the way, / God performed surgery. / Woman stood before God / With the middle breast in hand / Said,"What do we do with the useless boob?" / And God created man.

Dusty: Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?
Lefty: No. Who do they think did it?
Dusty: Well, they don't know, but they're on the look out for hardened criminals.

Lefty: Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary?
Dusty: No, I didn't.
Lefty: Yeah, it runs in your genes.

Lefty: What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
Dusty: I don't know, Lefty. What do you get?
Lefty: A religious movement.