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Quotes for
Mitch Taylor (Character)
from Real Genius (1985)

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Real Genius (1985)
Chris Knight: Okay Mitch, I'm gonna make it up to you. Let's just pause, put that down. Let's just take a step back. No, I was wrong, I'm sorry, take a step forward. Now, take a step back. Step forward. Back. And then we're cha-cha-ing!
Mitch: Will you stop it? I'm serious!
Chris Knight: Okay, I'm serious too!

Chris Knight: [while Mitch is packing to leave] If you want to leave, go ahead. But, uh... you're going to miss the fun.
Mitch: What fun?
Chris Knight: Ick invented a new virus and we're going to release it in Kent's room.

Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do?
Chris Knight: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

[to Chris]
Mitch: You have to get even with Jerry Hathaway. "It's a moral imperative."

Chris Knight: You didn't touch anything, did you?
Mitch: No.
Chris Knight: Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for "toy."
Mitch: What is it?
Chris Knight: It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?
Mitch: No!
Chris Knight: I'm just kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Chris Knight: Kent puts his name on his license plate.
Mitch: My mom does the same thing to my underwear.
Chris Knight: Your mom puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

[In the men's room]
Jordan: Are you peeing?
Mitch: Uh, I can't start.
Jordan: Because I'm here?
Mitch: I think so.
Jordan: Weird. Well I have to go.
Mitch: Me too.

Dr. Meredith: A bit of advice...
Mitch: Oh, uh, thank you...
Dr. Meredith: Always... no, no... never... forget to check your references.
Mitch: Uh... ok... thank you. I'd better be going.
Dr. Meredith: [to his wife] I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you?

[Mitch Taylor speaking through the microphone so that Kent hears voices in his head]
Mitch: And from now on, stop playing with yourself.
Kent: It *is* God.

Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?

Professor Hathaway: Mitch, will you miss your friends?
Mitch: Well, no. I think I intimidate other kids.
Professor Hathaway: Good boy.

Mitch: Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?
Chris Knight: You've seen him too?
Mitch: Who is he?
Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.
Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet?
Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?
Mitch: To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.
Chris Knight: Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.
Mitch: Yeah...
Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?

Mitch: What are you doing?
Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

[last lines]
'Ick' Ikagami: Do you think it's getting weird around here?
Chris Knight: Absolutely.
Jordan: I didn't notice.
Mitch: I like it.

Mitch: This is coherent light.
Mitch's dad: Oh, so it talks.

[Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it]
Chris Knight: Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet?
Mitch: What is it?
Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.
[Mitch starts to induce vomiting]
Chris Knight: Relax, it's just yogurt.

[Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside]
Chris Knight: Hey Kent... That's your car.
Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.
Kent: You've gone too far this time, Knight.
Chris Knight: [whiny, scared voice] I had help!
[points to Mitch]
Kent: You, huh? Well you won't get away with this. Doctor Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You'll rue the day!
Chris Knight: "Rue the day?" Who talks like that?

'Ick' Ikagami: It worked!
Mitch: That's neat!
'Ick' Ikagami: Now if we can just keep it from exploding!
Kent: Explo-?
[rushes into his room]
Chris Knight: Hey Ick, you were just kidding about exploding, right?
[starts to notice no one else is there any longer]
Chris Knight: Ick? It's a joke, right?

Jordan: Are you going to take me home to meet your parents?
Mitch: No.
Jordan: Why? Are you ashamed of me?
Mitch: No, them.
Jordan: Oh.

Air Force SP at Gate: IDs?
Chris Knight: Hey, could you snap it up buddy, we just flew in, we're tired, we're hungry, we rented this stupid car...
Mitch: Are you out of your mind?
Chris Knight: Shh. We've got to intimidate these guys. Be cool. It's okay.
Air Force SP at Gate: You're not on the list.
Chris Knight: List. We're not on the list. Yeah, that's because we're classified.
Mitch: Yeah.
Air Force SP at Gate: [on checkpoint phone in background] Security. Yes, sir.
Air Force SP at Gate: Aren't you guys a little young to be technicians?
Chris Knight: Yeah, well, lasers are a young science... okay, there, fine, you made me say it. Now we're both in trouble!
Air Force SP at Gate: Look, I'll call the duty officer.
[guard turns]
Mitch: Uh.
Chris Knight: [calling guard back] Hey, uh, there, uh, airborne!
Chris Knight: Don't do that. Listen, if you make that call it's our job: we're four hours late. Give us a break, will ya' buddy? Someday you might be in the private sector too, right?
Mitch: Yeah.
Chris Knight: [as guard turns again] We're dead.
Mitch: Oh, no.
Chris Knight: [as guard surprisingly waves them through] All right!

Mitch: [as he helps a hallway sledder up from a crash] Are you okay?
Jordan: [Removing helmet and talking rapidly] No, not emotionally, no I'm not. I'm disappointed, not terribly, but still. It should have gone much further much faster. It's okay, though, I know what the problem is. It's obviously the drag coefficient. I'll just have to redesign the blades. I can do that no problem. I can do that here. But after they're designed I got to cut them and that takes tools and time. Do you know how long this stuff is supposed to last?
'Ick' Ikagami: Maybe another half an hour?
Jordan: Oh that's great, that's good, I can do that no problem. Okay, what's your name?
Mitch: Mitch.
Jordan: Oh, thank you for your help, Mitch. Okay I'll see you later.
Mitch: [as she's leaving] You're welcome!
Mitch: [to Ick as Jordan rushes back] Who was that?
'Ick' Ikagami: That? Oh, that was...
Jordan: I'm Jordan. I forgot to tell you my name, I'm Jordan. I heard there was going to be someone new this term. Are you it?
Mitch: Yeah.
Jordan: Do you have a bed?
Mitch: Yeah.
[a surprised look hits Mitch's face as his mind registers the question]
Jordan: [not missing a beat] Oh. I was going to make you one if you didn't have one, but you have one. Okay, bye.

Mitch: He lied to us.
Chris Knight: It's easy to lie to you, Mitch. You trust people. I'm a cynic.

Mitch: [holding his fake ID badge] What if these don't fool anybody?
Chris Knight: They shoot us.