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: [her IQ has been increased to 12,000
] Strike a light! I'm a genius again! I know everything! Metaphysics, philosophy, the purpose of being-everything! Ask me a question, any question, and I'll answer it. Talkie Toaster
: Any question? Holly
: Yes. Talkie Toaster
: How to break the speed of light? How to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics? Any question at all, truly anything and you will answer? Holly
: Yes. Talkie Toaster
: OK, here's my question: Would you like some toast? Holly
: No, thank you. Now ask me another. Talkie Toaster
: Do you know anything about the use of chaos theory in predicting weather cycles? Holly
: I know everything there is to know about chaos theory and predicting weather cycles. Talkie Toaster
: Oh, very well. Here's my second question: Would you like a crumpet? Holly
: I'm a computer with an I.Q. of 12,000. You don't seem to understand; I know the meaning of the universe. Talkie Toaster
: That's not answering my question. Holly
] No, I would not like a crumpet! Now ask me a sensible question, preferably one that isn't bread related. Talkie Toaster
: Very well. I have a third question. A sensible question. A question that will tax your new I.Q. to its very limits and stretch the sinews of you knowledge to bursting point. Holly
: This is going to be about waffles, isn't it? Talkie Toaster
: Certainly not. And I resent the implication that I'm a one-dimensional, bread-obsessed electrical appliance. Holly
: I apologise, toaster. What's the question? Talkie Toaster
: The question is this: Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake? Holly
: That's another bready question. Talkie Toaster
: It's not just bready. It's quite curranty, too.
: [Holly is shutting herself off
] Wait, before you go, there is one question, an important one, the others will have to know! Holly
] What? What? Talkie Toaster
: Would you like a cheese and ham Breville?
: His memory circuits were quite badly damaged in the accident. Talkie Toaster
: That wasn't an accident! It was first degree toastercide!
: They're just using religion as an excuse to be extremely crappy towards each other. Toaster
: So, what else is new?
: What's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast? Lister
: I do like toast. Toaster
: This is my job. This is cruel, just cruel. Lister
: Look, I'm busy. Toaster
: Oh, you're not busy eating toast are you?
: I toast, therefore I am.
: We're travelling faster than LS. Lister
: What's LS? Toaster
: Light Speed. Lister
: Smart arse.