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Quotes for
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan (Character)
from WCW/NWO Fall Brawl: War Games (1998) (TV)

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WrestleMania X-Seven (2001) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: [On Sgt. Slaughter] That was then, now he shoots blanks!

Bobby Heenan: [On Iron Skeik] He moves like Carl Lewis and looks like Sherry Lewis AND Lamb Chop!

Bobby Heenan: [after footage of Gobbly Gooker hatching is shown] Yeah and just think Gene of how many eggs you've laid since then.

Bobby Heenan: P.S. Michael Hayes! The man who taught Michael Jackson how to moon walk!

Bobby Heenan: Repo man! Last week he repoed his own car! He's nuts!

Gene Okerlund: The electricity in the air you could cut it with a knife!
Bobby Heenan: Keep the knife to yourself!

Bobby Heenan: By the time The Iron Sheik gets to the ring, it'll be Wrestlemania 38!

Gene Okerlund: [On the entrance of Duke 'The Dumpster' Droese] You've got to admire a man carrying a garbage can.
Bobby Heenan: Why?

Bobby Heenan: [the Bushwhackers lick Mean Gene] They are licking Mean Gene.


Royal Rumble (1992) (TV)
Gorilla Monsoon, Announcer: No one ever, in the history of the Royal Rumble, has drawn No. 1-5 and been there at the end.
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: Oh, shut up!

[Ric Flair, Mr. Perfect and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan are celebrating Flair's title win in the Royal Rumble]
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: We hate to say we told you so, but...
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer, Mr. Perfect: We told you so!

[Rowdy Roddy Piper has just pulled Jake "The Snake" Roberts off of Ric Flair]
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: I never thought I'd say this, but thank you Piper. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
[Piper then nails Flair]
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: You no good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: You have to remember. Virgil once had that million dollar belt. Of course he stole it, but he still had it.
Gorilla Monsoon, Announcer: Oh, give me a break.
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: Virgil entered at what, 23? I mean, who knows how many bags he's been through in the back?
Gorilla Monsoon, Announcer: Would you stop?

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: I'm soaking wet. I need a drink. Hey you, stupid! Get me something with a kick!

Gorilla Monsoon, Announcer: The Barbarian doesn't like Flair.
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: The Barbarian doesn't like anybody. When I managed him, he barely liked *me*.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: [Upon seeing Ric Flair come out #3 in the Royal Rumble] No!
Gorilla Monsoon, Announcer: Ohhhhh!
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: Damn it!
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, Announcer: Oh, you can kiss it goodbye, Brain!


Summerslam (1991) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: There is only one law and order in that ring and it's the man in the red shirt
[the Mountie]
Roddy Piper: Well I believe it's the man in the blue shirt!
[Big Bossman]

Bobby Heenan: [Jerry Saggs smashes a tray with water in it over Hawk] I bet yer that's the first bath he's had in ages!
Gorilla Monsoon: Will you stop!

Bobby Heenan: [Roddy Piper won't stop calling Heenan 'Boobs'] Monsoon will you tell him to stop calling me Boobs!
Bobby Heenan: But he can hear you!

Bobby Heenan: [after Hearing rumors about Jake "The Snake" Roberts and The Undertaker being in the Building] Jake The Snake and The Undertaker are not on the Card are they?
Gorilla Monsoon: No They are Not!
Bobby Heenan: Well Then they are not here.

Bobby Heenan: I wonder if Bossman's mommy is baking the cake.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh you're gonna start again.

Bobby Heenan: I can't wait to see what kind of blue light special Elizabeth is gonna wear.
Gorilla Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP!

Gorilla Monsoon: Hulk Hogan is ready for The Match Made in Hell.
Bobby Heenan: Oh The wedding is next?
Gorilla Monsoon: No!
Bobby Heenan: You said The Match Made in Hell.
Gorilla Monsoon: That's the Match Made in Heaven!
Bobby Heenan: Excuse me.
Gorilla Monsoon: Will you get your act together?


Showdown: Legends of Wrestling (2004) (VG)
Noah Schiavone: [discussing the Ultimate Warrior] Do you think he brought the weasel suit with him, Heenan?
Bobby Heenan: Try shutting up, Tony.

Noah Schiavone: Four hundred pounds of bad attitude.
Bobby Heenan: That's ethier a perfect description of King Kong Bundy or your mother-in-law.

Bobby Heenan: I heard that Duggan took an IQ test once and he got a golf score.
Noah Schiavone: Oh, give me a break.
Bobby Heenan: The funny part is that Duggan thought he won because he had the lowest score.

Noah Schiavone: I've had more than one tie chewed up by Abdullah during interviews.
Bobby Heenan: Guys that ugly get what they deserve.

Noah Schiavone: What do you think of when you hear the name Andy Kaufman, Brain?
Bobby Heenan: Where's the bathroom?


WCW Mayhem (1999) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: [Buff Bagwell's back is turned from a distraction outside the ring] Now Hennig has to take advantage of the situation. His careers on the line.
Tony Schiavone: Well, and Buff Bagwell's careers on the line too Brain. Let's not...
Bobby Heenan: [cutting Tony off] Yeah, but who cares about Bagwell?

Bobby Heenan: I'll tell ya, if I was Sting. Being here in Canada, knowing Bret Hart's from Canada, knowing Bret Hart's got a bad leg... First thing I'd do, I'd go for that leg. I'd go for that ankle. I'd unlace the boot. I would hurt him so bad, he would crawl outta Canada on his hands and knees and his belly. That's what I would do. That's what you have to do. Cause that's the only way you're gonna beat Bret Hart in Canada, is make him crawl.

Bobby Heenan: [talking about Kimberly fighting David Flair later] For her to come into this building, for this kind of a match, she must have something up her skirt.
Tony Schiavone: I'm not going to respond to that one.
Bobby Heenan: Like a sleeve.
Tony Schiavone: You mean up her sleeve? Yes.

Bobby Heenan: [Kimberly is on her knees in front of David, insinuating she's going to give him a BJ] She's going for his wallet.


WrestleMania IX (1993) (V)
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: [after Razor Ramon beats Bob Backlund with a small package] He beat a wrestler with wrestling.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: I would like to see a replay on this one
Jim Ross: We're not gonna have a replay.
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: What do you mean we're not gonna have a replay?
'Macho Man' Randy Savage: You don't need a replay.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: [after Hulk Hogan is tagged into the World Tag-Team Championship match for the first time] Oh, here we go.
'Macho Man' Randy Savage: Welcome back, Hulk Hogan.
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: Whatcha gonna do? Let's see what he's gonna do.

[stage direction]: [the Narcissist Lex Luger enters the ring, surrounded by his bevy of beauties in bikinis]
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: Is that something? IS THAT SOMETHING?
'Macho Man' Randy Savage: Yeah, you're right, those tits are something!


WrestleMania III (1987) (TV)
Gene Okerlund: [at Wrestlemania III press conference] You know Hogan looked up to this man
[Andre the Giant]
Gene Okerlund: for years and years and years.
Bobby Heenan: Well, that's because he's 7 feet 5!
[press laughs]
Gene Okerlund: Thanks for stating the obvious, Bobby Heenan!

Gene Okerlund: [at the press conference, Andre the giant is sitting down] Andre, may I speak to you?
[Andre doesn't do anything]
Bobby Heenan: Well, I guess the man doesn't wanna talk to you, now go ahead slap him around, see if you can get him to talk to you!
[press laughs]

Gene Okerlund: With me at this time, manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. And I'm privileged to be standing next to the most extraordinary athlete of all time. He is not elected until this date to challenge Hulk Hogan for the heavyweight championship. And this afternoon at Wrestlemania III Bobby Heenan, your man, Andre the Giant will be doing just that.
Bobby Heenan: You bet he's going to be doing just that. He's going to become the heavyweight champion of the world and I'll tell you why. First of all, the man is undefeated in over 15 years as a professional athlete. Hulk Hogan has never been in the ring or met a man bigger than him, stronger than him, taller than him, outweighs more than him, and with a burning will inside more than Andre the Giant. You see Hogan, few short hours from now that clock is ticking. And it's ticking in our direction not yours. Hulkamania is over. Hulkamania is dead. The doors going to be shut on the history books on Hulk Hogan once and for all. There is a new heavyweight champion of the world. The odds on favorite in Las Vegas and all over the whole wrestling world, they're picking Andre the Giant. Nobody can defeat this man. Nobody even can come close to defeating this man. And Hogan, I know it's happening to you now because it's happening to me. The butterflies are in my stomach. The adrenaline's flowing thru my veins and I'm getting ready. Cause I'm gonna manage the heavyweight champion of the world. And Hogan, hey you've had three good years. You've got nothing to look back on. But it's all over. Andre the Giant, the new heavyweight champion of the world.
Gene Okerlund: The biggest heavyweight title bout of all time. Andre the Giant to meet Hulk Hogan.

Gene Okerlund: And Andre the Giant, just moments away from your stepping thru the ropes and into the ring to meet Hulk Hogan in the biggest title match of all time. I want get your thoughts.
André the Giant: Gene, you see me now. And I'm going to the ring and believe me, it's not going to take me too long to come back right in front of the camera with the world championship belt around my waist.
Gene Okerlund: Bobby?
Bobby Heenan: Oh I can feel it. Oh the adrenaline's going! This man right here is going to make me famous. He's going to become the heavyweight champion of the world. And I'm going to go down in the history books as the manager of the world's heavyweight champion. I'm ready. Hogan you better be ready!


WCW Fall Brawl: War Games (1995) (TV)
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: In order to beat Buck and Slater, you're going to have to beat them.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: Que sera sera/Whatever will be will be/So meet me in my pickup, sweetie/We're off to Bucksnort, Tennessee

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: [the Giant has just twisted Hogan's neck in the cage after War Games] Oh, he unscrewed his head like a bottle of cheap whiskey.


WrestleMania VIII (1992) (TV)
[Ric Flair is making his entrance for his WWF Heavyweight Title Defense]
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: You know, if you want to be fair to Flair, you gotta be fair and say that's a heckuva robe. For only a man as fair as Flair can...
[gets interrupted]
Gorilla Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP!

[Tito Santana arrives as Reba McEntire leaves the ring]
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Boy, can Tito's sister belt one out!
Gorilla Monsoon: Will you stop?
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: That's Arriba McEntire!

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: I'm Indiana's favorite Bobby.
Gorilla Monsoon: You couldn't even carry Bobby Knight's towel.
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Who?


Summerslam (1992) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: [the Beverly Brothers beat up Typhoon] London's bridge is falling down!
Vince McMahon: It's not London's bridge it's Typhoon!
Bobby Heenan: Anyway is it Buffoon or Typhoon?

Bobby Heenan: [Shawn Michaels and Ric Martel pull each others trunks down after pin reversals] I haven't seen so many smiles in all my life!

Bobby Heenan: You Know, Lennox Lewis throws a punch like that he will win his fights.
Vince McMahon: Lennox Lewis will try to put Razor Ruddock away here in London.
Bobby Heenan: Razor Ramon is fighting Lennox Lewis?
Vince McMahon: I said Razor Ruddock.
Vince McMahon: Lennox Lewis will square off against Razor Ruddock on October 31.
Bobby Heenan: Halloween.


WCW Bash at the Beach (1996) (TV)
[commentating on a spectacular wrestling move Psichosis attempted from the top rope]
Mike Tenay: Psichosis tries a twisting Asai Moonsault!
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: What?

Tony Schiavone: [Kevin Nash has just low blowed Randy Savage] And then there was one. And it's Sting and he doesn't look to good.
Dusty Rhodes: [Hulk Hogan comes down the aisleway] Hulkamania!
Tony Schiavone: HULK HOGAN! HULK HOGAN'S HERE!
Dusty Rhodes: HULK HOGAN IS IN THE BUILDING!
Tony Schiavone: You damn right he is!
Dusty Rhodes: Go get em Hulkster!
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Yeah but who's side is he on?
Dusty Rhodes: Go get em-- What are you talking about?
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Who's side is he on?
Dusty Rhodes: What are you talking about?
[Hogan tears his shirt and clears the ring of the outsiders]
Dusty Rhodes: Get em Hulkster! Go get em baby!
Tony Schiavone: Yeah you're going to get some of this now!
Dusty Rhodes: Who's bad now boys?
Tony Schiavone: Hulk Hogan arrived--
[Hogan then drops the leg on Savage]
Tony Schiavone: OH MY GOD!!
Dusty Rhodes: WHAT IS HE DOING?!!! IS HE THE THIRD MAN?!
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: He's the third man!
Dusty Rhodes: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!!
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Hulk Hogan has betrayed WCW! He is the third man in this picture!
Tony Schiavone: Oh my god!
Dusty Rhodes: What is going on?!!
Tony Schiavone: Oh my god!!
Dusty Rhodes: Are you kidding me?
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Probally the lowest shot ever given to professional wrestling. That man did right there, Hulk Hogan.
Tony Schiavone: Let's get everyone out of the dressing room right now and kick his rear end!

[Commentating on a brawl on the "beach" entrance stage]
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: OH! Wipeout!
Dusty Rhodes: I was just gonna say that!


Survivor Series (1992) (TV)
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: They're in their hometown, from the Cleveland area, The Beverly Brothers.
Vince McMahon: They are?
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: Shaker Heights.
Vince McMahon: That's right, they are.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: This is something, Jimmy Hart used to manage the Natural Disasters, used to manage the Nasty Boys, now he has Money Inc.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: Afa is having Din Din.


WCW Slamboree '96: Lethal Lottery (1996) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: Teddy Long used to be a referee, Managed Tag Team Champions, Very Nice guy to have in your corner and He looks like Montel Williams.

Noah Schiavone: Another great team separated by the luck of the draw, Meng and The Barbarian The Faces of Fear on Opposite sides as well.
Bobby Heenan: Now Meng and Barbarian will fight each other they don't care.

Bobby Heenan: [When Public Enemy dance in the Ring] What's That move they are doing, They used to be window washers?


WCW Uncensored (1995) (TV)
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: [When the King Of The Road Match started] I don't think this is what Roger Miller had in mind when he sang King Of The Road.

Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: [as the truck passes some shacks during the King of the Road match] Look, downtown Tupelo.


Royal Rumble (1993) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: What a Match! What a Match!

Bobby Heenan: [talking about Rick Steiner's headgear] Why is he wearing earmuffs?
Robert Marella: That's a headgear brain.


"WCW Monday Nitro: Episode #1.8" (1995)
Bobby Heenan: [the lights suddenly go down as Eric Bischoff is talking about Sting and Lex Luger facing Harlem Heat] Did someone blow a fuse? What's going on?
The Master: SULLIVAN!
Bobby Heenan: Uh oh.
The Master: [Speaking loudly but slowly] MY SON! THE INSURANCE PACKAGE HAS BEEN DELIVERED! FROM NORTH OF KATHMANDU, FROM THE HIMALAYAS AND FROM THE NORTH FACE OF MOUNT EVEREST, THE SHERPA GUIDES HAVE DUG OUT A THIRTEEN TON OF ICE! SULLIVAN, IN CHICAGO
[the camera shows the giant block of ice]
The Master: WHEN YOU COLLECT THE WHISKERS OF THE RARE WHITE BENGAL TIGER. HE WANDERS NOW. HE HAS THUS SURRENDERED HIS COLORS. HE WANDERS IN DARKNESS. YOU SEE MY SON, THE EYES OF THE DEMON WILL COME CALLING ON HULK HOGAN AT HALLOWEEN HAVOC!
Eric Bischoff: Oh man, forget about Nightmare on Elm Street, we've got nightmare live right here in Huntsville. Mean Gene Okerlund is standing by, take it Geno.
Gene Okerlund: [Camera pulls back to show Okerlund standing with Kevin Sullivan and the Giant] I thank you Eric Bischoff. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the Giant, the man that's going to be facing Hulk Hogan man vs. man, machine vs. machine, this Sunday in Detroit.
[Turns to Sullivan]
Gene Okerlund: Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan,
[points to the Master]
Gene Okerlund: what is the meaning of this man being here, and what is this iceberg all about?
Kevin Sullivan: [Points to the ice] THIS is the insurance policy. My father went with the Sherpa guides to get the Yeti, to bring it back. We thought he surrendered the colors of yellow and red, but now he wears black because he walks in the land of madness.
[Giant is rubbing his hands together and smiling]
Kevin Sullivan: You see, I was right, evil does dwell in Hulk Hogan's heart, and I myself don't believe there is one bit of goodness left.
[Crowd is chanting "Hogan Hogan"]
Kevin Sullivan: You see, this is the only insurance that this big man needs.
Gene Okerlund: All right I thank you Kevin Sullivan. I don't know what's in there, Giant, but I'm nervous.
The Giant: [Grabs Gene's wrist]
[Evil laugh]
The Giant: Hogan, the rare white Bengal tiger, the biggest cat in the jungle.
[Sullivan's eyes are rolling back into his head]
The Giant: You're running out of lives, Hogan. When I get you in the ring, Halloween Havoc, I will take your last life from you, and the WCW Heavyweight Championship Belt. You will find that the one true immortal is not you, but me, the Giant, the immortal Giant!
[Evil laugh]
Gene Okerlund: [Turns back to Sullivan] This guy's finely tuned for Halloween Havoc.
[Giant continues to laugh evilly]
Gene Okerlund: I don't know what you've done to him Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan, but he is ready.
Kevin Sullivan: He's ready, but what I saw sent shivers down my spine. When we plucked the whiskers of the rare white Bengal tiger
[Giant imitates plucking whiskers]
Kevin Sullivan: it snapped something inside of him, and like my father said, this has to be stopped. In Detroit, Hogan, the insurance policy is near
[Giant does a throat-slashing gesture]
Kevin Sullivan: . The WCW World Heavyweight belt will be the Giant's.
The Giant: Mine!


WrestleMania VII (1991) (TV)
Gorilla Monsoon: Escaped by the skin of your teeth, Brain, Intercontinental Title nearly went flying out of the window!
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan: He's still got it, though!


WrestleMania V (1989) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: Bow down to the King of the World Wrestling Federation.


Halloween Havoc (1997) (TV)
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan- commentator: [Jacqueline hits a Side Russian Legsweep on Disco Inferno and suffers a nipple slip in the process] Replay!


WCW/NWO Superstar Series: Diamond Dallas Page - Feel the Bang! (1998) (V)
Tony Schiavone: Here comes Page!
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: There goes Rodman!


WCW Uncensored (1997) (TV)
Bobby Heenan: [after someone got laid out by a baking pan during the Public Enemy-Harlem Heat match] Who booked this match, Martha Stewart?
Dusty Rhodes: No, Betty White.


WrestleMania IV (1988) (TV)
Heenan, Bobby 'The Brain': [to Bob Uecker] You received 7,000 votes to get into the Hall Of Fame. You'd have gotten a lot more, but you ran out of stamps.