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Quotes for
The Big Show (Character)
from "WWE Raw" (1993)

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"WWE Smackdown!: Episode #6.10" (2004)
The Big Show: And I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend Thanksgiving, than with all you WWE fans, and, without a doubt, the single greatest announce team in the history of the business. Unfortunately, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler work on Mondays, so I'm stuck with Tazz and Cole!

The Big Show: I was so big, I ate my parents...


"WWE Raw: Episode #10.25" (2002)
Goldust: [Walking through the halls dressed as the Crocodile Hunter, carrying a small plastic crocodile and speaking with an Australian accent] Crikey! Hello everybody, it's me, the Crocodile Hunter, off on another safari of fun and adventure.
[Looks to see if anyone is following him]
Goldust: Now normally I would be in the swamps with the crocodiles everywhere. But tonight we are going to a much worse place, a more vile, nasty place than you've ever seen, the NWO locker room, come on.
[Turns a corner and is standing in front of the door to the NWO locker room]
Goldust: Now remember, we have to be very quiet, because, even though there's no one at home, the NWO, they tend to travel in packs, and they can be very scary. But let's go anyway.
[Opens door and walks in and sees the Big Show sleeping on a couch]
Goldust: By crikey, look at this, look at this. It's the giant sleeping Showpopotamus. These creatures are enormous, so big, but they smell, good grief, they smell like, like kangaroo crotch sac.
[Goldust voice]
Goldust: Oh, gnarly!
[Shudders and backs off when he hears a toilet flushing offscreen]
X-Pac: [Walks into the room] What are you doing here, you freak?
Goldust: Yankers me crankers, look at this creature. Look, you don't see this every day. It's the rare bandana-wearing grease rat!
[Crowd can be heard laughing]
Goldust: But be very careful, they tend to suck!
[Throws the toy crocodile at X-Pac, who catches it, and runs off. X-Pac drops the crocodile on the floor and chases after Goldust]
Jerry Lawler: Tend to suck?
The Big Show: [Mumbling, asleep] Cheeseburgers... and a milkshake.


"WCW Monday Nitro: Episode #1.8" (1995)
Bobby Heenan: [the lights suddenly go down as Eric Bischoff is talking about Sting and Lex Luger facing Harlem Heat] Did someone blow a fuse? What's going on?
The Master: SULLIVAN!
Bobby Heenan: Uh oh.
The Master: [Speaking loudly but slowly] MY SON! THE INSURANCE PACKAGE HAS BEEN DELIVERED! FROM NORTH OF KATHMANDU, FROM THE HIMALAYAS AND FROM THE NORTH FACE OF MOUNT EVEREST, THE SHERPA GUIDES HAVE DUG OUT A THIRTEEN TON OF ICE! SULLIVAN, IN CHICAGO
[the camera shows the giant block of ice]
The Master: WHEN YOU COLLECT THE WHISKERS OF THE RARE WHITE BENGAL TIGER. HE WANDERS NOW. HE HAS THUS SURRENDERED HIS COLORS. HE WANDERS IN DARKNESS. YOU SEE MY SON, THE EYES OF THE DEMON WILL COME CALLING ON HULK HOGAN AT HALLOWEEN HAVOC!
Eric Bischoff: Oh man, forget about Nightmare on Elm Street, we've got nightmare live right here in Huntsville. Mean Gene Okerlund is standing by, take it Geno.
Gene Okerlund: [Camera pulls back to show Okerlund standing with Kevin Sullivan and the Giant] I thank you Eric Bischoff. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the Giant, the man that's going to be facing Hulk Hogan man vs. man, machine vs. machine, this Sunday in Detroit.
[Turns to Sullivan]
Gene Okerlund: Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan,
[points to the Master]
Gene Okerlund: what is the meaning of this man being here, and what is this iceberg all about?
Kevin Sullivan: [Points to the ice] THIS is the insurance policy. My father went with the Sherpa guides to get the Yeti, to bring it back. We thought he surrendered the colors of yellow and red, but now he wears black because he walks in the land of madness.
[Giant is rubbing his hands together and smiling]
Kevin Sullivan: You see, I was right, evil does dwell in Hulk Hogan's heart, and I myself don't believe there is one bit of goodness left.
[Crowd is chanting "Hogan Hogan"]
Kevin Sullivan: You see, this is the only insurance that this big man needs.
Gene Okerlund: All right I thank you Kevin Sullivan. I don't know what's in there, Giant, but I'm nervous.
The Giant: [Grabs Gene's wrist]
[Evil laugh]
The Giant: Hogan, the rare white Bengal tiger, the biggest cat in the jungle.
[Sullivan's eyes are rolling back into his head]
The Giant: You're running out of lives, Hogan. When I get you in the ring, Halloween Havoc, I will take your last life from you, and the WCW Heavyweight Championship Belt. You will find that the one true immortal is not you, but me, the Giant, the immortal Giant!
[Evil laugh]
Gene Okerlund: [Turns back to Sullivan] This guy's finely tuned for Halloween Havoc.
[Giant continues to laugh evilly]
Gene Okerlund: I don't know what you've done to him Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan, but he is ready.
Kevin Sullivan: He's ready, but what I saw sent shivers down my spine. When we plucked the whiskers of the rare white Bengal tiger
[Giant imitates plucking whiskers]
Kevin Sullivan: it snapped something inside of him, and like my father said, this has to be stopped. In Detroit, Hogan, the insurance policy is near
[Giant does a throat-slashing gesture]
Kevin Sullivan: . The WCW World Heavyweight belt will be the Giant's.
The Giant: Mine!


Survivor Series (2002) (TV)
[Backstage interview between The Coach and RAW General Manager, Eric Bischoff]
Himself (as The Coach): Well, Mr. Bischoff, I was hoping is I'm sure that all the fans out there, are as well that... if you could give us some insights as what we're gonna expect tonight from the Elimination Chamber.
Eric Bischoff: [scoffs]
Eric Bischoff: What you can expect? I think you and all the fans can expect to see history, and the future; all in one night.
[smiles]
Eric Bischoff: You see, when I debut the Elimination Chamber, fans are going to witness not only history in the making; but they're going to be watching is Eric Bischoff lays the ground work for the future of this industry.
[laughs at his statement]
Eric Bischoff: Jeez, once again, Eric Bischoff has outdone Stephanie McMahon and, come to think of it, Eric Bischoff is outdone...
[Big Show appears behind Bischoff]
The Big Show: [smiles] Hi stranger.
[scratches his moustache]
The Big Show: You know, you've made a big mistake in trading me. If you don't believe you did, watch me tonight, when I walk out of Madison Square Garden: the new WWE Champion.


"WWE Smackdown!: Episode #5.20" (2004)
Big Show: I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast!
Kurt Angle: You eat pieces of crap for breakfast?


"WWE Smackdown!: Episode #12.22" (2010)
Big Show: When I get my hands on you, I'll...
Edge: What are you gonna do; *eat* me?
[crowd cheer]
Big Show: Listen, Edge. *I* eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast! And I promise you tonight, I will *knock you out*!
Edge: Whoa, back up there a second. Did you say you eat pieces of crap for breakfast?
[crowd cheer]
Edge: Because that really explains a lot
[waves hand in front of Show's face]
Edge: You are kicking!
[High voice]
Edge: Halitosis!


"WWE Smackdown!: Episode #3.14" (2001)
The Big Show: [dressed up as and imitating DDP] Me losing my job, it's a good thing! Because then, all of you, won't have to listen to my annoying voice, or have to look at my big, bright, bogus, fake white teeth, or my plastic smile. And I won't be able to tell you what to do.