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Quotes for
Triple H (Character)
from "WWE Raw" (1993)

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"WWE Raw: Episode #19.41" (2011)
CM Punk: Can I wear your blazer?
Triple H: You could even wear my blazer.
CM Punk: I'm in!

Triple H: I showed up. Apparently, all of you showed up. You know, I stood in this ring a week ago, bewildered, saw something that I never thought I would ever see. Fifty-five, some superstars, a few camera guys, some techs, all of the referees, all of the announcers, and they all walked out.
[the audience boos]
Triple H: Never thought I'd see it, but they walked out of Monday Night Raw. Thing is, they didn't walk out on me. They walked out on all of you. And those... superstars now stand outside in the parking lot, holding some kind of "solidarity rally". Apparently, the WWE and Raw has "gotten too tough for them". "It's hard here," they-they "just can't do it anymore." So they're all standing outside, and from what I understand, they all have their gear. They all have their wrestling gear, but not one of them is gonna step in this building to perform for you.
[the audience boos again, louder]
Triple H: Unless... unless I step down.
[the audience boos a third time]
Triple H: If I am no longer running Monday Night Raw, then they will all come back. So what should I do? Should I... should I walk away?
[the audience chants "no"]
Triple H: Should I quit?
[the audience chants "no" again]
Triple H: I dunno. Maybe I should. Maybe I should just go, you know? But... here's the problem I have with it, you know? Because... I-I've just never been a quitter, you know? It's just not in me. I-I... I can't- I can't do it. I just-I just... I will not quit, you know? And-and I-I will not be intimidated! I will not be coerced! I will not be blackmailed! And I will not quit!
[the audience cheers]
Triple H: So what that means is all you guys in the parking lot, you can pucker up real nice and kiss me where my cheeks meet! Because this is they way it goes: I don't care if I gotta take off this suit, strip down to my tighty-whities, get a broomstick in this ring, I'll wrestle the broomstick for two hours! Hell, I've wrestled a lot of the guys in that parking lot, the brookstick'll give me a better match than most of 'em. Come hell or high water, I am giving you Monday Night Raw! I am giving you a show tonight!
[the audience cheers; after a moment, John Cena's music hits and Cena joins Triple H in the ring]
John Cena: There was a reason that I wasn't involved with the group's decision last week on Monday Night Raw. It's the same reason that I haven't addressed the press, or the tens of millions of people on social media who wanna know where I stand on this issue. Confidence or no confidence? And there's been a lot of people that said that that fifty-five person walkout in the parking lot would be a lot stronger if one more man was added to that list. And ever since, the second that Hell in a Cell ended and I was brutally attacked at the second I pulled up to this building this morning, each one of those fifty-five personnel from superstars to cameramen to audio guys has contacted me personally and asked me to join them.
[the audience jeers]
John Cena: You never even sent me so much as a text message asking me to stay. They want me out in that parking lot because they believe their boss is too focused on himself, doesn't see what's going on around him. They believe their boss is... egomaniacal, self-centered, and power hungry. Those are good points, those are good points. But a lot of those gentlemen and ladies sittin' out in that parking lot, you're their first boss. I've been here for a while, so I ran down a list of my bosses. I've worked for Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff.
[the audience jeers again]
John Cena: Those are two of the most humble guys on the planet! I've worked for... Vickie Guerrero.
[more audience jeers]
John Cena: I've worked for fifty-six celebrity general managers ranging from Shaquille O'Neal to Al Sharpton.
[more jeers]
John Cena: I've been told what to do by an anonymous computer who's the general manager of Raw. And I managed to even make it through the Mike Adamle era. *That* was an unsafe workplace. You know, you were there. So I'm not out here tonight to tell you that you're my best friend. I'm here to tell you that you're my boss. I'm staying.
[the audience cheers]

John Cena: And I'm staying because I love Raw! I don't care who's in charge! I am *staying* because I love the unsafe workplace. It is the chaos that makes us all tune in every week.
[the audience cheers]
John Cena: I am staying because the word "loyalty" on my sleeve is not a word, it is a principle. And my loyalty does not lie out in a parking lot, it does not lie behind a suit and tie, it lies in your living room, it lies with each and every one of you right here. Whether you love me or hate me, hell or high water, John Cena stays on Monday Night Raw!
[the audience cheers, and Cena and Triple H shake hands. Sheamus' music then hits]
Sheamus: What's the crack, Hunter? You know, less than two years ago, when you're giving a heartfelt speech about your best friend on the stage, I came and attacked you from behind and hit you in the skull with a lead pipe. See, the thing is, I was trying to make a name for myself by taking you out. And if anyone had any right to complain or take legal action, it'd be you. But you didn't do that, fella, did ya? Instead, you recovered, came back like a man, and I'm not ashamed to say, gave me the biggest asskicking of my entire life.
[the audience cheers]
Sheamus: Now, as you and me know, today that result would be very different. But the one thing is, fella, I'm not ashamed to say I have a lot of respect for you, for doin' that.
[the audience cheers again]
Sheamus: And the last couple of months, I've tried to adhere to the same set of principles that you showed. That's why tonight, I'm not gonna be backstage in some parking lot shenanigans. You see, I didn't travel thousands of miles, leave my family, my friends, everything behind me to come back and sit out there with all those losers. I came here to be part Monday Night Raw!
[the audience cheers; Sheamus and Triple H shake hands, and "Cult of Personality" hits]
CM Punk: I can't help but feel a little bit respon-, well, hell, who am I kidding? I feel like I started this whole thing. This is all my fault. I've been at the epicenter of anything controversial ever since you took over. Actually, since before that. I'm sure you remember, John boy.
John Cena: I was there.
CM Punk: You were there. I'm the guy that made walking out look cool. The-the thing about it is I think everybody in the parking lot having a picnic right now completely misunderstood what I was trying to do. See, I didn't break my contract, I didn't break my word. My contract expired, as I was trying to prove a point to an entire company, not just one man. If anybody has any reason to walk out of the WWE, well, you can probably put me at the top of that list. I mean, my microphone constantly cuts out. Your friend, Kevin Nash, runs through - well, slowly, briskly - runs through the crowd and jumps me and screws me, not once but twice. Somebody here doesn't want me to be the WWE Champion.
[the audience jeers]
CM Punk: The thing about it is this entire industry is based on men solving their problems in between these ropes. This is the company that gives you Hell in the Cell, this is the company that gives you the Elimination Chamber. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but unsafe working environment? I thrive on that! Hell, this is professional wrestling, this ain't ballet! If you believe in something, you stand and you fight. And if you fight on the front line, you don't have a hippie's sit-in and grill tofu dogs in the parking lot like a bunch of hippies. When I had a problem with you and your authority, I dealt with you personally. And you, you big Boy Scout, when I had a problem with you, being the poster boy for this company, I dealt with you personally. Sheam-o, I'm sure sooner or later you're gonna step on my toes. I'll deal with you personally. Now, I know you three smiley good guys look across the ring from me and I'm the last guy you expect to see here. And-and I know I'm the last guy you expect to see in the foxhole with you. But you know what? Here I am.
[the audience cheers]
CM Punk: So... so, I got a question. What do we do now?
Triple H: What do we do now? That's the big question, huh? What do we do now? I say we do what we do on Monday Night Raw. We shut up and fight!
[the audience cheers]
Triple H: How about this, as long as you guys are in agreement, Sheamus you've got yourself a match, fella. Tonight, right here, right now, you will go one on one with one John Cena.
[the audience cheers again]
Triple H: And, since I'm the only guy kinda wearing stripes out here, I'll referee. And, foxhole buddy, I got a whole table over there lined up with headphones and pipe bombs, just waiting for you with your name on it. And, if you want, you can go over there and say anything you feel like.
CM Punk: Wait, you want me to do commentary?
Triple H: I want you to do commentary.

C.M. Punk: You want me to do commentary?
Triple H: I want you to do commentary!
C.M. Punk: Can I wear your blazer?
Triple H: You can even wear my blazer!
C.M. Punk: I'm in!

WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2009 (2008) (VG)
Triple H: There is one measuring stick in this business - me, Triple H. I've had more gold around my waist than almost anyone on the planet. I've led two of the most famous factions in history. I've been down the Road to WrestleMania countless times, but this time you've got control. It's time to play the game!

Triple H: The best is back! D-Generation X!
Shawn Michaels: We're the best? Better than the Four Horsemen?
Triple H: Better.
Shawn Michaels: Better than the Nation of Domination?
Triple H: Believe it, brother!
Shawn Michaels: How about Extreme Expose?
Triple H: You got me there. Kelly Kelly is a better dancer than you are, Shawn.

Maria: I'm here with The Game, Triple H. Triple H, you have an important match tonight against Edge and Mr. Kennedy. Do you feel confident?
Triple H: Maria, do you know who I am?
Maria: [joyfully] You're Triple H!
Triple H: Do you know what I do?
Maria: Um... you wrestle?
[Triple H shakes his head and takes the microphone off Maria]

"WWE Raw: Episode #8.2" (2000)
The Rock: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa - the Rock says we're not done. You see, as sure as the Rock is standing in this ring, and as sure as you two roody poos are standing on the stage, the Rock says that if your candyasses make it through the entire night, there's one more match. It's gonna be the entire DX facing the Acolytes.
Triple H: Oh yeah, that's great - all four of us against the Acolytes - no sweat, you're on.!
The Rock: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa... the Rock is not done. You see, the Acolytes won't be alone - they're gonna have a tag team with them, and that tag team is gonna be the Rock and Sock Connection. If ya smellllllll... what the Rock is cookin'!

WWE '12 (2011) (VG)
Triple H: God I wished we wasn't PG right now.

"WWE Raw: Episode #8.6" (2000)
Triple H: What I propose, Cactus Jack, is that one more time, you and me. At No Way Out, one more time. But this is it! Your last shot at me, your last shot at the WWF title. And Cactus, you can have any type of match you want. Just... there will be no two-by-fours wrapped in razor sharp barbed wire. There will be no sharp, metallic objects. There will be no thumbtacks. There will not be any of your sadistic toys. We will have a match, plain and simple.
Cactus Jack: Let me get this straight: you want me in a match, but it cannot involve two-by-fours wrapped in barbed wire. You want me in a match, but it cannot involve thumbtacks. You want me in a match, but it cannot involve sharp, metallic objects.
Triple H: Congratulations, your brain does still work.
Cactus Jack: Well, let me ask you this: you throw all those toys out of the picture, and I can have any other match I damn well desire?
Triple H: Yes.
Cactus Jack: Doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun, Triple H, but I'll tell you what: no barbed wire, no thumbtacks, no metallic objects... you leave me with only one choice.
Cactus Jack: Hell in the Cell!
[the audience pops]

"WWE Raw: Episode #13.13" (2005)
Triple H: [to Eric Bischoff about Batista] If he so much as blinks at me, I will get on him as fast as possible!

"WWE Raw: You Can't Always Goat What You Want (#22.9)" (2014)
Triple H: [to Daniel Bryan after he and Stephanie interfered in his match with Batista and eventually Batista gave him a "Batista Bomb"; standing right over him in the ring] It's about time we put an end to your little fantasy crap!
[Promptly gets kicked in the side of the head by Daniel]

"WWE Raw: Episode #14.9" (2006)
Triple H: [to John Cena on Raw, March 2006] This ain't the movies John, this is real life and in real life you can't beat the bad guy!