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: If anything, it's a beautiful day. George
: It smells like cherry blossoms. Millie
: How do you know what cherry blossoms smell like? George
: I know what they smell like! Rocky
: Does anybody really know what a cherry blossom is? George
: Duh, it's a blossom on a cherry. Rocky
: I don't know. I thought it was a blossom all on it's own. What do you think, Marty? Marty
: I think I'm bored as fuck.
: Woo. Ah, ya... Nothing beats a good piss in the river. Except of course a good ole romping session of a stupid, ugly, dumb, pathetic piece of shit. Rocky
: Yeah, about that - I wanna call it off. Marty
: I'm not laughing. Rocky
: Dead serious. Marty
: You mean to tell me that you get me all juiced up over this, I steal my mother's car and come down here on a Saturday, when I could be at home, watching television? I'm out here on this river with a bunch of munchkins who are sober as hell and bringing me down... and now you tell me that we don't even get to do what we came here for?
: What are the paddles for? Marty
: We're going cow spanking. Jasper
: Cow spanking? What's that? Marty
: It's like cow tipping, only we spank. Jasper
: Really. Rocky
: Come on let's get this stuff and get out of here. Jasper
: While you boys are out cow spanking, Kile and I are gonna go pussy huntin'. Marty
: Good for you, Jasper. Kile
: [smacks Marty in the head
] Hey, don't get sassy with my boy. Jasper
: You ever been pussy hunting?
[Kile holds a balloon up to Marty's face and squeezes it, so it looks like two pulsating balls
: I didn't think so. You know how I knew? You got to have bait to catch one.
: You know, if we hurt him, we'd be just as bad as him. Rocky
: We need to hurt him without really hurting him.
: What are you going to do? Marty
: I'm gonna drive to Mexico. What do you think? Rocky
: I don't know what to think. Marty
: Well if you don't know what to think, then you probably shouldn't be making decisions.
: Everyone else wants to call it off. Marty
: Everyone else is a vagina!
: Hey, you guys ever hear when Rocky and I were kicking out here? We got some poison oak on our hands. Rocky
: This is a disgusting story. Marty
: Anyway, so we're out here and we got some poison oak on our hands. With all the beers we were drinkin' naturally we had to take a piss. Now I don't know if you're hip, Millie, but when a guy pisses he has to hold his pisser in his hands like so.
[Marty turns around to face Millie and uses both hands to hold a huge imaginary penis
: Thanks, Marty. Marty
: No, I'm not finished yet. Next morning when we woke up we both had totally chapped rashin' nuts!
: Okay, I think I got one. Tie him to a tree, pour some honey on his face, and leave him there all day and night. Sam
: Why? Rocky
: It's for the bugs, so they get on him and bite him. Sam
: No, we can't do that. Rocky
: Why not? Sam
: Well, what if a bear came along?
: You have to trust me on this one, Sam. I'm your big brother. Sam
: But I don't trust you.