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: You've made your big gay bed and now you must slumber gaily in it!
[Peter is standing with a tub of hair gel and a weird hairdo
] Oscar Novak
: What the hell happened to your head? Peter Steinberg
: I've been here for nine hours. I got bored. Oscar Novak
: You're a very strange man. Now, will you get out of my apartment? Peter Steinberg
: What happened? Oscy... Oscy... it's six in the morning. Oscar Novak
: It was awful, okay? As soon as we left the gallery, our cab caught on fire. THEN, she elbowed me in the face. THEN, we both threw up. THEN, she slammed a car handle into my balls, okay? The entire night was a total disaster. Peter Steinberg
: You're in love with her. Oscar Novak
: Pretty much.
: [Peter is stood with a tub of hair gel and a weird hairdo
] What the hell happened to your hair? Peter Steinberg
: You were gone for nine hours. I got bored. What happened? Oscar Novak
: It was a disaster. First our cab exploded, then I got hit in the face, then we both threw up, *then* she rammed a car handle into my balls. The whole night was a disaster. Peter Steinberg
: You fell in love with her. Oscar Novak
: Pretty much.
: Do you have any idea what toilet paper feels like in Egypt?
: Oskie, I'm a professional. I went to graduate school. I did all-nighters my senior year. I did a semester in Egypt. Do you have any idea what toilet paper feels like in Egypt? I delivered cinnamon rolls on a truck with bad suspension for three years! Do you know what that does to your kidneys? My poor kidneys! My freaking kidneys! My poor freaking kidneys! My freaking, scarred, bruised kidneys!
: Don't make me make you my prison bitch.
: I'm never going to have sex again! Peter Steinberg
: Oh, of course you will. Just maybe not with a woman.
: You do know there are other fish in the sea? Oscar Novak
: But what if you found *the* fish?