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Quotes for
Albert Spica (Character)
from The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989)

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The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989)
Georgina: Yes! He's a man. He's Jewish and he's from Ethiopia!
Albert: What?
Georgina: His mother is a Roman Catholic, he's been imprisoned in South Africa, he's as black as the ace of spades and he probably drinks his own pee!

Albert: What you've got to realize is that the clever cook puts unlikely things together, like duck and orange, like pineapple and ham. It's called 'artistry'. You know, I am an artist the way I combine my business and my pleasure: Money's my business, eating's my pleasure and Georgie's my pleasure, too, though in a more private kind of way than stuffing the mouth and feeding the sewers, though the pleasures are related because the naughty bits and the dirty bits are so close together that it just goes to show how eating and sex are related. Georgie's naughty bits are nicely related, aren't they, Georgie?

Albert: Looks like catfood for constipated French rabbits!

Albert: What are you doing in there, Georgie? You playin' with yourself? That's not allowed. That's my property, you're not allowed to fiddle with it. Now come on, open the door, I'll show you how to wipe yourself.

Albert: I think those Ethiopians enjoy starving. Keeps them thin and graceful.

Albert: Circumsized mediocrity is screwing my wife!

Albert: Now I've given you a good dinner, you can have a nice drink.