Deputy Trudy Wiegel
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Quotes for
Deputy Trudy Wiegel (Character)
from "Reno 911!" (2003)

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Reno 911!: Miami (2007)
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Your watch is stuck in my pubes.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Shut up, nigger.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I became a police officer because my doctor told me I needed to get out of the house more.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Can't you just give me a pity fuck?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I'm pooping!

Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Why was your hand on my dick?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I dreamt that I was driving in the Indie500!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: This hotel reminds me of a place you'd want to go to get a good ol' fashioned raping or a down-home murder!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, when you're here, you're an ambassador for Reno.
Terry: Heavy on the assador!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, we're in no mood for your hijinx. Are you getting on the bus or not?
Terry: I'm not getting on that bus. A: it smells like farts. B: I've got my own jet that I got for Flagday to take me back home. So you wanna ride in the fart-mobile or do you wanna ride with me?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I had to pee, so I did the pullover thing, but I think I dribbled.

Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Does anybody have any ideas?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What about... a phone... you can smell through...

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: God Terry, what are you covered in?
Terry: Oh that's... Apple Martini lube.

"Reno 911!: Raineesha X (#2.10)" (2004)
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Why are you wearing that thing on your head?
Deputy Raineesha Williams: This thing on my head is called a "Burka" and I am exercising my religious freedom, all right? I stand before you Raineesha X, all praise is due to Allah!
Deputy Travis Junior: [dives to the floor in fear]
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: It's from the Homeland-Security training.
Deputy Travis Junior: I'm sorry, I thought she was gonna ...
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: No, no, good instinct.
Deputy James Garcia: She don't have a bomb.
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: No, no, she didn't have a
[clicks tongue and pantomimes pressing detonator with thumb]

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thanks to the Nation of Islam... I'm free.
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Is this gonna be a problem doing your job now that you're... Nation of Muslim?
Deputy Raineesha Williams: Don't be aggressive with me, okay?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: I wasn't being aggressive.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: Don't hate me 'cause I've found the truth. And now that my eyes are open, ha, you can't have me, 'cause, see, I was had, I was took. I been hoodwinked, bamboozled. Y'all have run amok!
Deputy S. Jones: Hornswoggled.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thank you, brother.
Deputy S. Jones: Fandangled.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thank you.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Titty-boozled.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: No.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: Well, I support you, sister.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: I'm not your sister, cracker jack.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: Whatever.

"Reno 911!: Fireworks (#1.2)" (2003)
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: My job as an officer is to make sure you kids are safe, but, truth be told, I can't be everywhere at once. I don't care if you're wearing a short skirt, I don't care if you're wearing dungarees, I don't care if you smell bad, I don't care if you're fun to be around. But you can be rest assured that everyone of you, at some point is gonna be raped. It happens, hey, I'm not happy about it. But, there is some good news: Can you imagine going to your doctor and you say, "I've been raped", and he goes, "Oh my God that's horrible", and then he says, "but guess what", - pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; "You're pregnant, and you're having triplets". Oh my God! And then you go "Oh my God!", and I freak out and I call everybody. Umm... that hasn't happened to me - hasn't happened to me, *yet*.