John Tucker
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Quotes for
John Tucker (Character)
from John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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John Tucker Must Die (2006)
John Tucker: It's always all about me. John! John! John!

John Tucker: So you're lab partners with Kate, right? We talk. What's her deal?
Scott: Yeah, I don't know. I don't think she's your type.
John Tucker: Girl is my type.
Scott: Alright, well then maybe you're not her type. She's into stuff like old school Elvis Costello, she listens to obscure podcasts, she reads Dave Eggers. You know, she's deep, man.
John Tucker: Dude, I'm deep. I'm dating the poetry club.

Basketball Coach: [sees John in the thong and Coach Williams holding John's ear] What the hell?
Coach Williams: I think this belongs to you, Coach. I found it in my bed.
John Tucker: Coach, make her let go.
Basketball Coach: [to Coach Williams] Let go.
[Coach Williams lets go of John's ear]
Basketball Coach: "Live and let live" is what I say, Tucker. Takes all kinds to build a freeway. But I am not equipped for this kind of weirdness THIS CLOSE TO THE PLAYOFFS!
[spectators laugh and jeer. John is embarrassed. The basketball coach goes back into his room. John turns around and sees Kate]
Kate: I guess it was four instead of three. Sorry.
[John goes back into his room, embarrassed]
Coach Williams: Show's over ladies. Back to your rooms.
[to more spectators]
Coach Williams: Show's over! Back to your rooms.

John Tucker: So did you like the flowers?
Kate: Sure, if you're into that kinda thing.
John Tucker: Well, cuz, you know, I didn't get a call...
Kate: I didn't have a pen.

Coach Williams: [screams at John in her bed wearing a red thong-John screams back and falls off the bed] You...
John Tucker: I'm sorry!
Coach Williams: ...little... MARCH!
[grabs John by the ear and leads him outside the hallway of the hotel. Coach Williams blows her whistle loudly. Many onlookers stare at John wearing that red thong]
Teammate #1: [sees John in that thong] John, what are you wearing?
Tommy: [sees John in that thong] Dude, those are for ladies.

Scott: I don't think she's your type...
John Tucker: Girl is my type!

John Tucker: You don't drink an '82 Bordeaux just because it's sitting on your shelf.

John Tucker: Did you write down my number yesterday? Because I didn't get a call last night..
Kate: Well I didn't have a pen..
[walks away]

John Tucker: Maybe I come on too strong, but... I don't know who else to be. I just have to put my whole heart into things.

John Tucker: It's like lettin' your best friend sleep in a silk hammock. They're breezy. They don't bind. And they give you just enough swing.