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Quotes for
Sheldon J. Plankton (Character)
from "SpongeBob SquarePants" (1999)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015)
[from trailer]
[SpongeBob is playing two keyboards of a tiny piano over and over again]
Plankton: Will you stop playing that tiny piano?
[SpongeBob stops playing and hides the tiny piano behind his back ]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry.

[from trailer]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, here comes the pain!
Burger-Beard: Hah!
[He opens a hatch and many cannons came out of the front hatch]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Ah!
Plankton: That ain't good.
[He fires a cannon ball at SpongeBob, but it goes in a bubble. He fires more cannon balls, then SpongeBob as the Invincibubble gets them in many bubbles]
Patrick Star: They're beautiful.
[He pops a bubble, then a cannon ball lands on his face]

[Patrick is hitting his rock home with the word "grandma" on the bottom with a hammer]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, what are you doing?
Patrick Star: Vandalizing stuff.
Plankton: Isn't that your house?

[from trailer]
[SpongeBob laughs while Plankton is taped on Mr. Krabs' desk]
Plankton: Oooooooooowwwwwww! Oh, make it stop, Krabs! Make it stop!

[in sneak peek]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Give me that!
Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob, join me and we'll be rich and powerful until I eventually betray you!
[They're struggling for the Secret Formula]
Plankton: Join me!
SpongeBob SquarePants: No! Never! I'm on Team Krabs for life!
Mr. Krabs: [He muster the metal shutters open to get in] PLANKTON!
[SpongeBob and Plankton continue to struggle for the Krabby Patty Secret Forumla until it magically disappeared]
SpongeBob SquarePants: What? Where'd it go?
Plankton: [in thoughts] Wait a minute, molecular deconstruction? I proved that to be a scientific impossibility seven times!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [in thoughts] Wait a minute, I think I forgot to empty Gary's litter box today.

[from sneak peek]
Mr. Krabs: Where's me formula, Plankton?
Plankton: I... I don't know. It just disappeared
Mr. Krabs: Why should I believe you, you lying liar?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Normally, I'd agree with you, Mr. Krabs, but this time, he's telling the truth! It just vanished!
Plankton: It's true!

[from TV spot]
[Patrick throws a giant jar of mayonnaise and lands in the middle of the ground as Plankton's battle tank gets stuck in the mayonnaise]
Plankton: Oh, shrimp.
[Plankton's battle tank explodes]

[from TV spot]
Patrick Star: What's the secret password?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Plankton: Uuuhhhh...
Patrick Star: Correct!

[from TV spot]
SpongeBob SquarePants: If you're from the future, what am I going to say next?
Plankton: Something moronic?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow.

Sandals: Hey, it's raining pickles. Now it's raining...
[Plankton's tank lands on him]
Sandals: ... tanks!
Plankton: You're welcome.

Plankton: [nervous]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Mr. Krabs, I'm telling you, he's innocent.
Plankton: What are you going to do Krabs? Pour hot oil on me, or put bamboo shoots under my nails?
Mr. Krabs: No, knock knock.
Plankton: Knock knock jokes? I could do this all day Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Knock knock.
Plankton: Oh boy, who's there?
Mr. Krabs: Jimmy.
Plankton: Jimmy who?
Mr. Krabs: Jimmy BACK MY FORMULER, PLANKTON!
Plankton: Well, that's stupid but how is that torture?
Mr. Krabs: Hee hee hee. You'll see.
[Mr. Krabs puts on headphones]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Jimmy, back my formula, hmm. Ooooooooh, I get it!
[SpongeBob starts laughing]
Plankton: [while he hears SpongeBob laughing, he screams]
Mr. Krabs: [still has headphones on and ignores everything]
Plankton: [SpongeBob continues to laugh and Plankton is screaming] Oh make it stop Krabs, make it stop!

SpongeBob SquarePants: I'll rock him while you read him a bedtime story.
Plankton: Uh once upon a time there was a big pink fat idiot who went to sleep. The End!
Patrick Star: Nice try.

Burger-Beard: All right here we go. Now SpongeBob loved his job as a fry cook more then anything. And that is saying a lot. Because he loved everything! He loved his pet snail Gary. He loved his best friend Patrick. He loved blowing bubbles and jellyfishing. He loved making Krabby Patties for the folks in Bikini Bottom just as much as they loved eating them. Why you may ask do they love this greasy meal sandwich so much? Why Did they eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner despite the doctor's warnings?
Doctor: He'll be gone in a week.
Woman fish: Oh Harold!
Burger-Beard: Ah it was a secret. No one was sure what was in those patties that made them so delicious. And frankly no one cared except for Plankton.
Plankton: Meh.
Burger-Beard: Plankton owned a restaurant right across the street from the Krusty Krab where no one ate cause the food was really bad!
Plankton: Now is that really necessary?
Burger-Beard: Plankton made it his life's work to steal the recipe.
Plankton: SpongeBob please! Let's talk about this.
Burger-Beard: But SpongeBob was always there to protect it. But today things would be different.

SpongeBob SquarePants: If we're gonna be on the same team...
Plankton: Maybe i don't wanna be on the te-am! You think of that?
SpongeBob SquarePants: But Plankton everything's best when your part of a team.

Plankton: Will you stop playing that tiny piano? Your gonna get us caught!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry.

Plankton: With that formula I can rule the world!


The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)
Plankton: His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll. Karen, do something.
Karen the Computer: [Karen is being surfboard across the the Krusty Krab] Weeeee!
Plankton: Karen?

Plankton: Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet... from A to Y!
Karen the Computer: A to Y?
Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
Karen the Computer: What about Z?
Plankton: Z?
Karen the Computer: Z... The letter after Y...
Plankton: [searching thorugh the file cabinet] W, X, Y... Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
Karen the Computer: Oh, boy.
Plankton: It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!

Plankton: I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank - !
[Spongebob accidentally steps on him]

Plankton: Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now.
Karen the Computer: Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. My sensors indicate that they're on their way to find the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints.
Plankton: Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator!

Plankton: Plan Z. I love ya!

Plankton: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby.

Squidward Tentacles: So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh Plankton?
Plankton: That's right, Squidward, and there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
Squidward Tentacles: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
Plankton: And what's that supposed to mean?
Squidward Tentacles: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby paws on the Krabby Patty formula. It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck and I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!
Plankton: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips.
[Plankton laughs and he presses a button on Karen]
Karen the Computer: Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh?

Sheldon J. Plankton: [as the brain controlled fish capture Squidward, Plankton shouts] Hahahaha! Who can stop me now? Hahaha! Who?

SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you on your way to the grand opening ceremony?
Plankton: No, I'm not on my way to the grand opening ceremony. I'm busy planning to rule the world!
[laughs evilly]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [cheerfully] Well, good luck with that!

Sheldon J. Plankton: [cracking a whip] No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn't going to build itself! Move faster!

Sheldon J. Plankton: Karen, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife!
Karen the Computer: I never agreed.

Plankton: [after placing a fake call to Mr. Krabs and hearing King Neptune scream over the phone] Plan Z. I love Plan Z!

Plankton: [Spongebob is running after stepping on Plankton] OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Eww, I think I stepped in something.
Plankton: Not in something, ON SOMEONE, you twit!

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Plankton: Oh, don't worry about me. My parade will be quite dry, under my... umbrella!
[pulls on a chain]
SpongeBob SquarePants, Mindy, Patrick Star: Umbrella?
[a Chum Bucket bucket helmet drops on Neptune]
Mindy: Daddy, no!
Plankton: Daddy, yes!
[pushes button on remote]
King Neptune: [Bucket activates] All hail Plankton.

Patrick Star: SpongeBob, what happened?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton cheated.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Cheated?
[Now to Neptune]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Hold on there, baldy.
[Now to SpongeBob]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Because you cheated?
Sheldon J. Plankton: No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid.
[laughing]
Sheldon J. Plankton: A stupid kid!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I guess you're right, Plankton.
[looks down]
SpongeBob SquarePants: I am just a kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.
SpongeBob SquarePants: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.
Sheldon J. Plankton: That's right. Okay, Neptune...
SpongeBob SquarePants: And no amount of mermaid magic...
[Turns to Mindy]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... or managerial promotion...
[Turns to the frozen Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... or some other third thing... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton: That's great. Now, get back against the wall.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [over microphone] But that's okay!
Sheldon J. Plankton: What? What's going on?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Because I did what everyone said a kid COULDN'T do! I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown BACK!
Sheldon J. Plankton: All right, we get the point.
SpongeBob SquarePants: So, yeah, I'm a kid!
[the lights go down, dry ice smoke surrounds SpongeBob, and a spotlight falls on him]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And I'm also a goofball! And a wing nut! And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
Sheldon J. Plankton: [coughs from the smoke] What's going on here?
SpongeBob SquarePants: But most of all, I'm...
Sheldon J. Plankton: Okay, settle down. Take it easy!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm... I'M...
Sheldon J. Plankton: WHAT THE SCALLOP?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [bursts into song] I'M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!

Plankton: [as he's being arrested] Come on, can't you take a joke? Wasn't that funny? With the monuments and the buildings? Wasn't that hilarious? I will destroy all of you!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Culture Shock/F.U.N. (#1.10)" (1999)
SpongeBob SquarePants: [sings to cheer up and encourage Plankton] 'F' is for friends who do stuff together, 'U' is for you and me, 'N' is for anytime or anywhere at all...
Chorus: Down here in the deep blue sea!
Plankton: 'F' is for fire that burns down the whole town, 'U' is for Uranium bombs. 'N' is for no survivors when you...
SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton, those things aren't what F.U.N. is all about. Now do it like this. 'F' is for friends who...
Plankton: Never! It's completely idiotic.

SpongeBob: Play with me.
Plankton: You know how to induce thermo-nuclear fusion?

SpongeBob SquarePants: [to Plankton, who is in disguise in front of a magic shop] Have you seen a Krabby Patty? It's about this tall, and... Wow, a magic shop! Are you a magician? One time, I saw a magician, and he did this thing, and then... well, anyway, he said that if you believe in yourself, and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.
Plankton: Augh! I can't take it!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton! It's you!
Plankton: Yes, and after all these years, I thought I was the master of torture. But that! That just wasn't fair!

Plankton: That naive cube! How long must I suffer this?
Karen: You're not letting him get away, are you? Can't you see? This is the perfect opportunity for revenge.
Plankton: Elaborate.
Karen: Befriend the SpongeBob, then, when the timing is just right, take the Krabby Patty.
Plankton: Take the Krabby Patty.
Karen: Get moving, genius. Don't let him get away.

Plankton: All right, it's true! I tricked you to get to the Krabby Patty, but then you showed me friendship, and now I realize that's all I ever really wanted.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Really?
Plankton: No, not really. Being evil is too much fun!

Plankton: All knees will bow to Plankton! Hail Plankton! I win! I win!

SpongeBob: I think you're a winner.
Plankton: [sobbing] What did you say?
SpongeBob: I said I think you're a...
Chorus: Loser!

Plankton: That naive cube.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Jellyfishing/Plankton! (#1.3)" (1999)
Plankton: Hear me, Krabbs. When I discover the formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business. I went to college!

Plankton: You could say we're friends, right?
SpongeBob: Um, no.
Plankton: Acquaintences?
SpongeBob: No.
Plankton: Well, we're both invertebrates, right?
SpongeBob: I guess so.
Plankton: You see? Everything works out. I have something for you. I've been keeping it in my secret compartment.
[Reaches behind his back and pulls out a spatula]
Plankton: Ching! Sparkle sparkle!
SpongeBob: Wow! A golden spatula! It's even got my name on it.
Plankton: It's a gift. A gift from a friend. Friends give each other gifts. And tomorrow's my birhtday. And do you know what I like more than anything in the whole world?
SpongeBob: A booster seat?
Plankton: Booster seat? Hot dog!... I mean, no. What I want for my birthday from you, my friend is one of those tender... delicious... mouth-watering... Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob: [Gasp] You just want to be friends so you can get your hands on the Krabby Patty. And I bet it's not even your birhtday tomorrow.
Plankton: Gee, and I thought you were stupid.
SpongeBob: You'll never get a Krabby Patty from me. Even if we are friends. Never! Never! Never! Never!
Plankton: Oh, I'll get a Krabby Patty. And you're gonna hand-deliver it to me personally. You weak minded fool!
[Plays omninous music on his record player]
Plankton: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Plankton: Spongebob, we're friends right? Friends do things for eachother. And tomorrow's my birthday. Do you know what I want?
SpongeBob SquarePants: A booster seat?
Plankton: Hot-dog! A booster seat! YES! I mean no. I want... a tender... scrumptious... juicy... Krabby Patty.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [gasps] Plankton! I know what this is! You're just pretending to be my friend so you can get your hands on a Krabby Patty! And I bet tomorrow isn't even your birthday!
Plankton: Jeez. And I thought you were stupid.

[Plankton has SpongeBob in his power and is about to make him drop a Krabby Patty into his analyzer]
Plankton: This little piggy brought home a Krabby Patty, and this little piggy will help me drop it in. Any last words, SpongeBob SecretPants?
SpongeBob: I just have to say, I'm sorry I let Mr. Krabbs down. I let all of Bikini Bottom down. But most of all, I let you down, you delicate little Krabby Patty.
Plankton: Hmmm.
SpongeBob: I'll never forget your delicious, juicy, scrumptious, steamy goodness.
Plankton: Steamy!
SpongeBob: Made with 100% all-natural secret ingredients, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onions, all nestled together between two seaweed seed buns.
Plankton: Yes. Yes! *Yes!* Come to papa!
[He jumps at the patty, but bounces off and falls into the analyzer]
Plankton: Oh, boy.
[zap!]
Karen: Plankton: 1% evil, 99% hot gas.
Plankton: [Appears on the computer monitor] Well, this stinks.

Plankton: SpongeBob, that's my Krabby Patty! Give it back, you porous freak! I command you! My patty! Nooo! I'll settle for some fries.

Plankton: Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player.
Squidward: Mediocre?
Plankton: You pretentious, insignificant artist. Your sniveling creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste.

Plankton: Brace yourself, SpongeBob. This is my lab...
[Spongebob walks into room and picture of golden labrador in background of room barking, he then walks into next room]
Plankton: And this is my labratory!

Plankton: Well, this stinks.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Dying for Pie/Imitation Krabs (#2.4)" (2000)
Plankton: I'll never get the formula with Krabs popping in and out like that. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day.
[holds up a penny]
Plankton: It looks like an ordinary penny, because it *is* an ordinary penny! That fool Krabs is too greedy to resist you, my little pretty.

[in a robotic Mr. Krabs]
Computer: Coin-operated self-destruct sequence activated. Five seconds till detonation.
Plankton: Coin-operated Self-destruct, not one of my better ideas.

Plankton: You can't do that to me! I went to college!

Mr. Krabs: Plankton!
Plankton: Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Plankton!
Plankton: Krabs!
SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob!

SpongeBob SquarePants: I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.
Mr. Krabs: Okay then.
SpongeBob SquarePants: First question: what time does the Krusty Krab open?
Plankton: 9:30 AM.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Right! That's one strike, Mr. Fake.
Mr. Krabs: But...
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh-uh! I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any "buts", they're gonna be from me. OK, question number two: How much does a Krabby Patty cost?
Mr. Krabs: $2.99!
SpongeBob SquarePants: ...on Wednesday.
Plankton: 99 cents.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Right again! You're starting to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now, only the really real Mr. Krabs could answer this: if we're discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
Mr. Krabs: That's an easy one! Let's see, if it's January, with vanilla pudding, we... uh, pass?

Mr. Krabs: Well, if I were a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together, not some rusted-up, steam-driven pile of junk.
Plankton: Who are you calling steam driven?

Mr. Krabs: [spots Spongebob about to give Plankton the formula] How could you do it Spongebob? Giving me secret formula to this impostor?
Plankton: Don't listen to him Spongebob. Remember: Ravioli, ravioli give me the formuoli
Mr. Krabs: Spongebob no, don't listen to him, I'm the real Mr. Krabs!
Plankton: Don't listen to him, he's obviously a robot.
[smoke comes out of the suit's exhaust pipe]
Mr. Krabs: Well if I were a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together, not some rusted out, steam driven piece of junk!
Plankton: Who are you calling steam driven?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Quiet!
[holds up a hose while breathing heavily and his eyes are bloodshot]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Until I know who the real Mr.Krabs is, nobody moves
[reveals the hose is attatched to a machine dispensing tarter sauce]
SpongeBob SquarePants: nobody gets hurt.

Plankton: [asking for the secret formula while disguised as Mr. Krabs] Formula time?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Almost
Narrator: Six and a half hours later.
[Plankton uses the robot suit to launch himself out of a cannon]
Plankton: [Spongebob gives him some spaghetti which he dumps into the robot suit] Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good, belch.
Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants: [singing] Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath, ravioli, ravioli, Great Barrier Reef!
Plankton: Okay let's hear that formula!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry Mr. Krabs no can do.
[Plankton's robot suit's eyes catch on fire]
Plankton: [in a very robotic voice] Whaaaaat?
[cut to Plankton inside the suit]
Plankton: But we did everything you said!, I followed all the rules!, I even ate 105 black licorice jelly beans through a straw!, Now why won't you tell me the formula?
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's your rule, never speak the formula, you told me to keep it in...
[holds up a little bottle with a scroll in it]
SpongeBob SquarePants: this bottle.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Texas/Walking Small (#1.18)" (2000)
Plankton: Surrender that ice-cream cone, or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery!

SpongeBob SquarePants: You used me... for land development! That wasn't nice.
Plankton: Haven't you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world. Ha ha ha ha!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well... what about aggressively nice people?

Plankton: You see how wonderful life is... when you're maniacal?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I thought it was called assertive.
Plankton: Whatever.

Plankton: SpongeBob, don't let that guy sit on you. Assertiveness lesson number one: tell that guy to get off.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Excuse me. You're sitting on my body, which is also my face.
Plankton: No, no! Be assertive!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [sticks his finger on the guy's pocket] Beep-beep.
Plankton: Not insertive!

Plankton: I can't take so much kindness in one sitting. Need... hatred!

Plankton: SpongeBob, you missed your chance. You've got to be aggressive to get the things you want. You're too soft.
SpongeBob SquarePants: But I'm a spon...
Plankton: Don't say it!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Jellyfish Hunter/The Fry Cook Games (#2.19)" (2001)
Plankton: Just look at him. Square. The shape of evil.

Mr. Krabs: What's that smell in the air? I smell Plankton!
Plankton: [Puts on fake nose] Oh, yeah? Well, I smell... Phew, he's right.

Mr. Krabs: Win this for the Krusty Krab.
SpongeBob: [running] For the Krusty Krab!
Plankton: Win this one because I told you to.
Patrick: [running] Because you told me to!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are at a wrestling match on top of a giant hamburger, preparing for a fight]
News Reporter: It's not over yet! With the score tied, we go to our final event! Bun wrestling. Who will take home the gold? Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab?
Mr. Krabs: [to SpongeBob, referring to Patrick] Don't forget, he called you yellow.
[Spongebob picks up a metal chain and bites off and chews up the middle of it. He bares his teeth, revealing the metal chain to now be attached to them like braces]
News Reporter: Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket?
Plankton: [to Patrick, referring to SpongeBob] Don't forget, he called you pink!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Fear of a Krabby Patty/Shell of a Man (#4.1)" (2005)
[Plankton is posing as a psychiatrist]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Do you think there's still hope for me?
Sheldon J. Plankton: Hope? Hope? When I get my hands on that formula, there won't be any hope for any of ya!
[Sinister laugh]
Sheldon J. Plankton: I mean, you'll be cured in no time.

Sheldon J. Plankton: I'm going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your little head.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm ready!
Sheldon J. Plankton: Work.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Work.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Spatula.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Bun.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Bun.
Sheldon J. Plankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, I get it.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Potato.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Potahto.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Tomahto.

Sheldon J. Plankton: I want you to close your eyes. Tighter. Tighter.
[SpongeBob's eyelids rip apart]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Too tight! Now, what do you see?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I see... giant Krabby Patties!
Sheldon J. Plankton: Good! Now, what are they made of?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hatred!
Sheldon J. Plankton: No, ingredients! What are the stinking ingredients?
SpongeBob SquarePants: They're coming for me! No! No! No! Stay back!
Sheldon J. Plankton: Wait, where did you get that piano?
[SpongeBob hits Plankton with piano]


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Sleepy Time/Suds (#1.15)" (2000)
SpongeBob Squarepants: [after waking up from a bad dream] Ah!
[sees everyone hovering over his bed, all looking quite irritable with him]
SpongeBob Squarepants: Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
Squidward: No, we are not having a slumber party!
Sandy Cheeks: Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams!
[everyone grumbles in agreement]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Take a hike!
Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary: Meow!
Patrick: Does anybody have a quarter?
[everyone stares at Patrick]

Sheldon J. Plankton: I see you... ZAP!
[shoots a laser from his eye]

Sheldon J. Plankton: [dreaming he is a giant, destroying Bikini Bottom] Oh, look, it's the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty.
[steps on it]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Crush!
[takes the sign and walks off, licking it]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Lick, lick...


"SpongeBob SquarePants: The Algae's Always Greener/SpongeGuard on Duty (#3.1)" (2002)
Plankton: Goodbye, everyone. I'll remember you all in therapy.

Plankton: I don't understand, is there a gas leak in here?

Plankton: Holographic meatloaf... my favorite!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: New Digs/Krabs á la Mode (#5.5)" (2007)
Plankton: I don't get it! I turn the Krusty Krab into an ice cube, and he turns it into an ice rink! He's making more money than ever!
Karen: That's because, unlike you, he's a good businessman.
Plankton: Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings.
Karen: I can't understand why you just don't steal a Krabby Patty in all the confusion?
Plankton: I'll be right back.
Karen: I don't know why I encourage him.

Plankton: It's just business. Well, maybe it is a little personal. I'm touching your thermostat! I'm touching your thermostat!

Mr. Krabs: You lose again, Plankton.
Plankton: I'm not giving up yet, Krabs. I've still got my secret weapon. The thermostat!
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] The thermostat!
Plankton: That's right, Krabs. It was I who froze the Krusty Krab.
[removes the sticker reading 62 from the thermostat display, revealing it to really be -15 degrees]
Plankton: See?
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've gone too far, Plankton! You can pound me employees, try to destroy me restaurant, but nobody messes with me thermostat!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Missing Identity/Plankton's Army (#3.18)" (2004)
Plankton: Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropiate the formulary for affordable comestibles! Who will join me?

Plankton: Alone, we are powerless, but together, the Plankton family can be a real pain in the fanny. Maybe Krabbs can handle one Plankton, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand!

Plankton: Attention, Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: The Secret Box/Band Geeks (#2.15)" (2001)
Squidward: But I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?
Plankton: CORRECT!
Squidward: So if we play loud, people might think we're good! Everybody ready?
[band gets ready]
Squidward: And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four.
[band plays loudly, glass breaks]
Squidward: [baton breaks] Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no-one can hear us.

[Squidward is trying to start a marching band]
Squidward: OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?
Plankton: Do instruments of torture count?
Squidward: No.
Patrick: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Squidward: No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.
[Patrick raises his hand again]
Squidward: Horseradish is not an instrument either.
[Patrick lowers his hand]


SpongeBob SquarePants: Employee of the Month (2002) (VG)
Plankton: Great, now I can't see anything.

[repeated line]
Plankton: Uh... wait! Don't you wanna see my diploma?


SpongeBob SquarePants: Lights, Camera, Pants! (2005) (VG)
Plankton: [laughs evilly] The fools have arrested Mermaidman & Barnicle Boy for my crimes. My Crimes! Leaving me to steal every building in Bikini Bottom! All that power is going through my head. Ouch, my head; Er, I mean...
[resumes evil laughter]

Plankton: You mean of you, MermaidMan.


The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie (2004) (VG)
SpongeBob: Plankton there's no where left to run
Plankton: You're too late, Spongebob. King Neptune is already at the Krusty Krab 2 getting ready to fry Mr Krabs and there's nothing you can do about it He He
SpongeBob: We'll just see about that.
Plankton: I love to stay and chat but I have a show to catch
[flies away]
Plankton: Plan Z! I love ya!
SpongeBob: YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS PLANKTON!

Plankton: Nothing can stop me now! Hey, SpongeFool, why don't you just give up? There's no one left to help you! No one left at all!
[laughs]
Plankton: Stupid kid.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Welcome to the Chum Bucket/Frankendoodle (#2.14)" (2002)
Plankton: What is he doing? Those tears? And the show tunes? Why isn't he making the patties? Forget it! I'm going with Plan B. I'm putting his brain on the robot chef.
Computer: You know that never works. The answer is simple. To get to the SpongeBob, you must show him compassion and understanding. Then he'll give you what you want.
Plankton: Will you be quiet? I'm thinking. I've got it! To get to the SpongeBob, I'll show him compassion and understanding. Then he'll give me what I want.

Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid you don't work here anymore.
Squidward: Please tell me this isn't a joke.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Go ahead! Tell him! Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke!
Plankton: As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. You work for me now!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy/The Inside Job (#7.3)" (2009)
[Plankton is sitting around, watching a hamster run in an exercise wheel on Karen's screen]
Plankton: Eh, that's the life.
[suddenly, the screen changes to Karen herself]
Karen: Plankton!
Plankton: Hey, I was watching that!
Karen: And I'm tired of watching you sit around all day. Admit it, the Chum Bucket is a total failure.
Plankton: It is not! Business is just slow.

Plankton: I HATE MY LIFE!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: The Lost Mattress/Krabs vs. Plankton (#4.2)" (2005)
Plankton: Your last chance, Krabs. I can still drop the suit if you give me the formula.
Mr. Krabs: [Points at Plankton] Never!
Plankton: Ow, my wittle arm!
[Crowd gasps]
Mr. Krabs: No! I didn't even touch him!
Plankton: Ow, my other arm!

Plankton: But the worst part is, that my dreams of running a marathon like I promised my dear old Grammy have been dashed. I'm sorry, Gram-Gram! I'm sorry!
[Jury starts sobbing]
Plankton: Thank you for your kind attention.
[to himself]
Plankton: ... suckers.
Judge: Does the defendant have an opening statement?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yes, Your Honor. Poor Gram-Gram!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: 20,000 Patties Under the Sea/The Battle of Bikini Bottom (#5.17)" (2007)
Plankton: [yells] Lady, someone should put you in a box to drift in the river!
Elderly lady: [pauses, sadly] ... you're right.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick SmartPants/SquidBob TentaclePants (#4.8)" (2005)
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you feeling better now, Patrick? What are you doing?
Patrick: Oh, just observing this interesting sub-species.
Plankton: [Under microscope] I'll show you a sub-species!


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Friend or Foe (#5.1)" (2007)
SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs, Plankton: Karen?


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Enemy In-Law/Mermaidman and Barnacleboy VI: The Motion Picture (#4.7)" (2005)
Fish: You kidnapped us just to eat your fast food?
Plankton: Hey, it's a standard marketing ploy.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Snowball Effect/One Krabs Trash (#3.6)" (2002)
Plankton: What's this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy to rule the world!
[Snowflakes pile up on top of him]
Plankton: Stop! I wish to rule you!