Mermaid Man
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Quotes for
Mermaid Man (Character)
from "SpongeBob SquarePants" (1999)

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"SpongeBob SquarePants: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy/Pickles (#1.6)" (1999)
Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy UNITE!

SpongeBob SquarePants: You can't retire now, there's evil afoot.
Mermaid Man: [terrified] Evil! Evil! Where is it?

[a waterball is thrown at SpongeBob]
Mermaid Man: He's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge!

Mermaid Man: If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
Orderly: What is going on in here?
Mermaid Man: [Points at SpongeBob] You may kiss the bride!
[SpongeBob is kicked out of the retirement home and rolls back home]
Patrick Star: Did you reunite our heroes?
SpongeBob: No, but I'm married.

Mermaid Man: I did it! I feel five years younger. It's good to be back.
Barnacle Boy: We did it, you old coot.
Mermaid Man: Who are you?

Mermaid Man: I did it! I feel five years younger! Ooh, it's good to be back!
Barnacle Boy: [shakes hands with Mermaid Man] We did it, you old coot.
Mermaid Man: Who are you?


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Chocolate with Nuts/Mermaidman and Barnacleboy V (#3.12)" (2002)
[Mermaid Man is talking about his super hero costume]
Mermaid Man: Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?
[pulls on his costume's "underwear" and snaps it]
Squidward: I can think of three good reasons.

Mermaid Man: You fiends can't win. You're out-numbered.
Barnacle Boy: You senile bag of fish paste. There are three of us and only one of you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Make that two.
ManRay: The Quickster.
Squidward: three.
Barnacle Boy: Captain Magma.
Patrick: Four.
The Dirty Bubble: The Elastic Waistband.
Sandy: Five.
Barnacle Boy: M-M-M-Miss Appear.
Mermaid Man: And me makes 10. I think.

SpongeBob: How about we help you?
Mermaid Man: No, that's a terrible idea! I've got it! How about *you* help *me*?

Mermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world?
SpongeBob: I do!
Patrick: I do!
Sandy Cheeks: I do!
Squidward: I don't.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes you do, no world means no money, so either save the world, or you're fired!
[Squidward sighs]


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Hooky/Mermaidman and Barnacleboy II (#1.20)" (2000)
Mermaid Man: [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy crash through Spongebob's house] Mermaid Man!
Barnacle Boy: [groggily] and Bobbicle -
[falls flat on his face]

Mermaid Man: Barnacle Boy, don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the superhero of tomorrow... or the villain. Besides, I remember a certain young whippersnapper who wanted to be a superhero, too.
Barnacle Boy: You don't even remember breakfast, you old coot.

Mermaid Man: That guy over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. I know he doesn't look like much now, but he could go back to crime...
[snaps fingers]
Mermaid Man: ...just like that!
[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy chuckle; SpongeBob suddenly tackles the Atomic Flounder]
Atomic Flounder: Help, somebody there!
SpongeBob: You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder!
Mermaid Man: Stop kid! Stop! Let him go!
SpongeBob: But you said he could turn back to crime...
[snaps fingers]
SpongeBob: ...like that!
Atomic Flounder: What? Get offa me! If I weren't retired I'd... I'd... ROOAAAAARRR!
[Breathes radiation on Barnacle Boy's face, burning it]
Atomic Flounder: ...do that!

Mermaid Man: That guy over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. I know he doesn't look like much now, but he could go back to crime
[snaps fingers]
Mermaid Man: just like that
[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy chuckle; SpongeBob suddenly tackles the Atomic Flounder]
Atomic Flounder: Help, somebody there!
SpongeBob: You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder!
Mermaid Man: No, lad! Don't!
SpongeBob: But you said he could turn back to crime
[snaps fingers]
SpongeBob: like that.
Atomic Flounder: What? Get off me! If I weren't retired I'd... I'd... Roar!
[Breathes radiation on Barnacle Boy's face, burning it]
Atomic Flounder: ...do that.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy IV/Doing Time (#3.5)" (2002)
Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob will you just face facts? You've shrunken everyone in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh Squidward he'll be so disappointed.
Sandy Cheeks: Well you can't leave us small forever!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [on the verge of tears] But you don't understand!
Mrs. SquarePants: [Spongebob's parents appear in the jar] SpongeBob you need to admit your mistakes
SpongeBob SquarePants: Mom?
Mermaid Man: Your mother's right son, Mermaid Man will understand
Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man you old coot!
Mermaid Man: Oh yeah.