The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: His ass was the grass and I was the lawnmower.
: Stop! Stop that man, Joe. Stop that man!
[Joe tackles the man
] Tutti Bomowski
: I saw that man on America's Most Wanted. Joe Brofmowski
: What did he do? Tutti Bomowski
: He killed his mother.
: [pointing the gun at her son
] Go ahead! Make your bed.
: [to the flight attendants
] It was so cute, when he was 6 years old he walked into the kitchen and said "Mommy! My peepee's stuck in my zipper!"
: Mom, I don't like eggs. Tutti Bomowski
: If you don't eat them now, they'll be waiting here for you at dinner.
: Why didn't you answer when I called? Tutti Bomowski
: That was you? You never called. Joe Brofmowski
: That was me, why didn't you pick up the phone? Tutti Bomowski
: Every year when I'm about to come out to visit, you call and say it's not a good time, so I decided not to answer the phone this time in case you called.
: Mom, what're you doing here? Tutti Bomowski
: I've got to change you. Joe Brofmowski
: [looks down and realizes he's wearing a diaper
] Mommy! I don't want to be changed. Tutti Bomowski
: [holding up diapers and baby powder
] I've got to change you.
: [singing softly and contentedly as she sloshes and scrubs Joe's prized .45 in the dishpan
] This is the way we wash our gun... wash our gun... wash our gun...