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[Kneeling down to pray
: Oh God. God, that was so fuckin' bad.
: Do you wanna get shot a whole buncha times?
: What are ya'll lookin' at? Fuck all ya'll.
[to Bob and Mimi
: Fuck you, chipmunk face! And your fuckin' skipper wife!
: Them's some big ugly fuckin' teeth you got, Bob.
: Holy shit! Look who got beat with the ugly stick. Is that you Bob?
: Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing motherfucker!
: [holding a gun to her would-be rapist and killer
] This is a crucial question, Bob. Do you believe in the lord Jesus Christ and take him for your personal savior?
: Fuck all y'all.
: "My dick may not function, but I have not lost my smile!"
[from some TV closed-captions
: "My neck may not function, but I have not lost my smile!"
[from DVD subtitles
: I felt like I had been transformed into a human urinal.
[after getting slashed
: You didn't have to kill me! Vanessa
: I didn't kill you, you dirty little pervert, now give me your car keys before I cut your pecker off!
: Mister, I'm a person!
: What, you're gonna do sex to me when I'm dead?
: I am claustrophobic. Vanessa
: Well I get claustrophobic suckin' strange dick, now get in there!
: I already told you why I shot him you shit-skinned motherfucker.
: You had your turn to speak! I think its only fair to get my 2 cents in. But when a guy does that and hurts someone who never hurt them! which makes him a criminal first and a sick guy second. Its like being crooked takes second place. And Bob, you're crooked, you've proved that to me tonight.
: Well you don't have to worry about him anymore. I took care of him. Detective Garnet Wallace
: Mr. Wolverton is in critical condition, but he's not dead. Vanessa
] Oh, yeah right. I shot him so many times.
: I don't give a good goddamn!
[to Rhonda's sexual advances
: Alright, I'll make out with you. But no fucking 'cause I'm straight.
: Why are you doing this? Vanessa
: 'Cause I'm pissed off and the whole world owes me.
: You shoulda let me out of the car when I asked you to, Bob. You see what happens when ya got bad manners?
: You fucker! You killed my grandma! Bob Wolverton
: That's not all I did to grandma.
: I don't get how a person could go through their whole lives never being into girls. I just... I love girls. Vanessa
: You can keep 'em.
: He had this disease, called, um, Wisenheimers, I think. You know, where your brain cells run out into your pee.
: Why were you so convinced we wouldn't believe you ? Vanessa
: 'Cause I've been in the system, and once you've been in it once, ain't no one never gonna believe you again.
: So what you think it's OK do all sorts of bad stuff to me now? Bob Wolverton
: Well that's an open ended discussion Vanessa dealing with deep philosophical ramifications, something you can hardly grasp. In fact take it from me a professional Vanessa, you're an absolute fucking moron!
: Get out of the car, you little pecker snot!
: [Mesquita and her friends approach Vanessa
] Chola alert. Vanessa
: How many? Rhonda
: There's three but you only gotta worry about one.