Detective Shane Vendrell
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Quotes for
Detective Shane Vendrell (Character)
from "The Shield" (2002)

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"The Shield: Enemy of Good (#5.2)" (2006)
Detective Vic Mackey: Ah... you must be Doomsday.
Doomsday: Who are you?
Detective Vic Mackey: I'm Armageddon. Say hello to the hounds of hell.
Detective Shane Vendrell: Ruff.

Detective Shane Vendrell: So we close a triple murder before breakfast, start a race war before dinner. That's a pretty good day.

Detective Vic Mackey: Still no Lem?
Detective Shane Vendrell: Left a second message. He's probably knee-deep in a booty call.
Ronnie Gardocki: Hope he's gettin' the cop discount.
Detective Shane Vendrell: Yeah, I hear yours charges by the minute.
Ronnie Gardocki: Hey, I get mine for free.
Detective Vic Mackey: Must be seeing a charity worker.


"The Shield: Postpartum (#5.11)" (2006)
Shane Vendrell: [after killing Lem with a grenade] I'm sorry... I'm sorry, buddy... I'm so sorry, buddy... Lem! Lem, *I'm sorry*! But I *had* to, right? But you know I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, man... buddy... oh God...

Claudette Wyms: Track down whatever you can find. Run everything by me. And Vic, that renegade shit's not gonna fly on my watch, but you already knew that.
Shane Vendrell: It looks like a new Sheriff just limped into town.


"The Shield: Rap Payback (#5.6)" (2006)
Shane Vendrell: Better check your color, honky.
Kasper: Man, I get more black ass than a bus bench in Compton.

Shane Vendrell: Payback's a bitch.
Vic Mackey: Yeah, and karma's a whore.


"The Shield: Co-Pilot (#2.9)" (2003)
Shane Vendrell: You'd think driving an Escort would disqualify you from being carjacked.


"The Shield: Tapa Boca (#5.4)" (2006)
Ronnie Gardocki: You tell Leon he's in the clear?
Shane Vendrell: Yeah, freak tried to hug me.
Vic Mackey: But you insisted on the blowjob.


"The Shield: Doghouse (#4.4)" (2005)
Shane Vendrell: [after beating up Halpern] You know what? Tell Antwon there's a new scoop law.
[Pointing to Halpern]
Shane Vendrell: Come pick up his dog shit.


"The Shield: A Thousand Deaths (#4.11)" (2005)
Man: [to Shane, who is taking a practice lie-detector test to train him for the real one] Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife?
Shane Vendrell: No.
[Needle jumps wildly, indicating a lie. Vic looks him in the eyes]
Shane Vendrell: Eatin' ain't cheatin'.


"The Shield: Bitches Brew (#7.7)" (2008)
Detective Shane Vendrell: What is it with you and whores?
Detective Vic Mackey: Just tryin' to keep 'em from tempting you.


"The Shield: What Power Is... (#3.10)" (2004)
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: How come every piece of ass you hit is more trouble than the last?
Shane Vendrell: Hey I'm marryin' this girl.
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: Well I'm not. Alright! So unless she's got a pussy that cures cancer...
[Shane cuts him off]


"The Shield: Jailbait (#5.3)" (2006)
Shane Vendrell: I wouldn't expect any clemency with the Terminator as Governor.


"The Shield: Extraction (#5.1)" (2006)
Shane Vendrell: I like my women tiny.
Tina Hanlon: So your dick fits better?


"The Shield: Back in the Hole (#4.10)" (2005)
Shane Vendrell: Here you got it all, don't ya'? You got money. You got power. RESPECT!
Antwon Mitchell: The hillbilly's been listenin' to my speeches.
Shane Vendrell: It's too bad about your son, though. Tell you what, if my boy turned out to be a fag, I don't know what I would do.
[pauses]
Shane Vendrell: They say you're born that way. You doin' his mother out the ass when you knocked her up?
Antwon Mitchell: One time, doin' time, for a long time.
Shane Vendrell: That poor little kid. He's gonna be found face down, in the shower, with a back full of shiv and an ass full of cum. Word hits the street, what's that gonna make you look like, huh? I mean, your people don't cop with the homo vibe.
Antwon Mitchell: My people... ain't your worry.
Shane Vendrell: Yeah? But you know with all that money, all that power, at the end of the day, you're still just a nigger! With a faggot nigger son! And where's the respect in that? HUH? Where's the respect in that?
Antwon Mitchell: [Sits down and puts the cuffs back on] Now... what were you sayin' about my nigger faggot son?