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Quotes for
Michael Gold (Character)
from The Big Chill (1983)

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The Big Chill (1983)
Meg: I'm going to wash my hair and puke.
Michael: Puke first.

Michael: I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.
Sam Weber: Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.
Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

Karen: You'll never get this many people to come to my funeral.
Michael: Ohh, Karen, I'll come. And, you know... I'll bring a date.

[At Alex's wake]
Michael: Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come.

Michael: [Michael enters the kitchen, sees Sarah standing in front of the open refrigerator] You know, that's the problem with these things. You have to watch them every minute.
[Takes a small carton of milk from the refrigerator]
Michael: Oh, hey, did I miss Karen and Richard?
Sarah: No, just Richard; Karen's staying for the weekend.
Michael: But not Richard?
Sarah: Went back to be with the kids.
Michael: Oohhhh, interesting. What did Richard have to say about that?
Sarah: Michael, if you're going to sleep this late, you're going to miss a few minidramas.
Michael: I just hope you'll wake me for anything really ugly.

Michael: Everyone does everything just to get laid.
Karen: Who said that? Freud?
Michael: No, I did.

Karen: I know this is hard but it's all beautiful.
Sarah: Yeah we put on a great funeral here.
Michael: [sarcastically] Yeah, maybe I'll have mine here.
Sarah: We give first priority to people who kill themselves in one of our bathrooms.
[the three stop smiling]
Sarah: That was a terrible thing to say... I don't know why I said that.

Sam Weber: In Hollywood, I don't know who to trust. I don't know who likes me or why they even do like me.
Harold Cooper: Well you don't have that problem here.
[Sam smiles]
Harold Cooper: You know I don't like you.
Michael: Me neither.
Meg: Ditto.
[Gets up and leaves the room]
Harold Cooper: So relax.
Sam Weber: [Rolls over on the floor, on his back, and pulls off one of his boots] Assholes.

Michael: Eventually he was hospitalized for being such a nerd.

Michael: [explaining to his editor at People Magazine why he's delaying his interview with a 14-year-old blind baton twirler] That's why I'm calling, Jim. That way, I can have a story for you this week and for next week, and... Jim, Jim, give me a break. I'll fly to Dallas on Monday. She won't regain her eyesight over the weekend. I know, but I think I've got something good right here. I don't know, it's about everything: Um... suicide, despair, where did our hope go? Lost hope, that's it, lost hope. Yeah, well, you think everything is boring. I mean, you know, you wouldn't say that if it was the Lost Hope Diet.

Michael: [entering kitchen on the group's final morning together] Sooo how'd everyone sleep last night? DID anyone sleep last night?

Sam Weber: You alright?
Chloe: Yeah. I'm a little disappointed though, I wanted to ride up there. I always wanted to ride in a limo.
[Michael and Sam exchange a look]
Michael: I do half my work in limos.
Chloe: Are you a chauffeur?
Michael: No I'm a journalist.
[Sam starts to laugh]
Michael: I write for People Magazine.
[Looks at Sam]
Michael: I can't believe you're still mad about that thing.
Sam Weber: Michael this isn't the time. Let's just drop it.
Michael: I will if you will. You know at this day most of all we should remember we're friends.
Sam Weber: Alright, alright.
Chloe: And you're an actor?
Sam Weber: Mm-hm.
[Michael starts to laugh]

Michael: Harold, don't you have any other music , you know, from this century?
Harold: There is no other music, not in my house.
Michael: There's been a lot of terrific music in the last ten years.
Harold: Like what?

Michael: That's the great thing about the outdoors, it's one giant toilet.

Harold: [preparing to order shoes for everyone] Feet grow as you get older.
Michael: I wish everything did.

[last lines]
Michael: You see, Sarah, Harold, we took a secret vote. We're not leaving. We're never leaving.

Michael: Are we the first ones up?

Karen: How about you Michael? So tell us about the world of big time journalism.
Sam Weber: Yeah.
Michael: Well iwhere I work we only have one editorial rule. You can't write anything longer than it takes your average person to take an average crap.
[everyone laughs]
Michael: I'm getting tired of everything I write being read in the can.
Harold: You can read Dostoyevsky in the can.
Michael: Yes, but they can't finish it.

Michael: [Dialogue in video being watched by several characters] Nobody thinks they're a bad person. I'm not even claiming that people always think they're doing the right thing; they may know that they're doing something dishonest or insensitive or manipulative but they almost always think that there's a good reason for doing it. They almost always think it will turn out for the best in the end, even if it just turns out best for them, because by definition what's best for them is what's best. In addition, you instantly come up against the question of style. My style may be too direct, perhaps given my style I seem more nakedly opportunistic or jerky or... what was the other thing?
Sam Weber: Manipulative?
Michael: Whatever, really all that's happening is I'm trying to get what I want. Which is what everybody does, it's just that some of their styles are so warm or charming or sincere or otherwise phony that you don't realize they're just trying to get what they want. So you see, my transparent efforts are in a way much more honest and admirable.
Sam Weber: Why is it what you just said strikes me as a massive rationalization?
Michael: Don't knock rationalization; where would we be without it? I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.
Sam Weber: Oh come on, nothing's more important that sex.
Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?