Quotes for
Hobson (Character)
from Arthur (1981)

Arthur (1981)

Hobson: Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.

Arthur: [while taking a bath] God, isn't life wonderful, Hobson?
Hobson: Yes, Arthur, it is. Do your armpits.
Arthur: A hot bath is wonderful... Girls are WONDERFUL!
Hobson: Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be. Get dressed.

Hobson: [to Ralph] If you and your undershirt will walk two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling.

[to Arthur, after Linda Marolla stole a necktie from a store]
Hobson: Yes, I see no reason for prolonging this conversation, unless you're planning to knock over a fruit stand later in the evening.
Hobson: [to Linda] Good luck in prison.

Arthur: [waiting at Arthur's father's office] I hate it here!
Hobson: Of course you hate it. People work here.

Executive: He gets all that money. Pays his family back by... by... by bein' a stinkin' drunk. It's enough ta make ya sick.
Hobson: I really wouldn't know, sir. I'm just a servant.
Executive: Yeah.
Hobson: On the other hand, go screw yourself.

Arthur: Hobson, do you know the worst part, the WORST part of being me?
Hobson: I should imagine your breath.

Hobson: Thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
Gloria: Hi.
Hobson: Yes... You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.

Arthur: What are you doing later tonight?
Linda: Oh, I have plans for tonight. What should I wear?
Hobson: Steal something casual.

Hobson: Poor drunks do not find love, Arthur. Poor drunks have very few teeth, they urinate outdoors, they freeze to death in summer. I can't bear to think of you that way.

Hobson: I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition. I have brought you orange juice, coffee, and aspirins. Or do you need to throw up?

Hobson: Here, read this magazine. There are many pictures.

Arthur: I just told Linda I was getting engaged.
Hobson: I don't know why; a little tart like that could save you a fortune in prostitutes.

Hobson: [wearing a cowboy hat Arthur gave him to cheer him up] If I begin to die, please take this off my head. This is not the way I wish to be remembered.

Hobson: Would you remove your helmet, please?
Arthur: Why?
Hobson: Please.
[Arthur hands him his helmet]
Hobson: Thank you. Now your goggles.
Arthur: Why?
Hobson: Please.
[Arthur hands him his goggles]
Hobson: Thank you.
[slaps him across the face repeatedly]
Hobson: You spoiled little bastard! You're a man who has everything, haven't you, but that's not enough. You feel unloved, Arthur, welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. And incidentally, I love you.

[in a department store, Arthur and Hobson see Linda putting a tie in her bag]
Arthur: Hobson, did you see that?
Hobson: [wearily] Yes.
Arthur: She stole that tie! It's the prefect crime; girls don't wear ties! Although some do; it's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime.
Hobson: Yes; if she murdered the ties it would be the perfect crime. Why are you so happy about all this?

Hobson: Arthur, you're a good son.

Arthur: Do you want anything?
Hobson: I want to be younger.
Arthur: Sorry, it's your job to be older.

Arthur: Hobson?
Hobson: Yes.
Arthur: Do you know what I'm going to do?
Hobson: No, I don't.
Arthur: I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.
Arthur: [rises] Do you want to run my bath for me?
Hobson: That's what I live for.
[Arthur exits]
Hobson: Perhaps you would like me to come in there and wash your dick for you, you little shit.

Arthur: Oh, stay with me, Hobson. You know I hate to be alone.
Hobson: Yes, bathing is a lonely business.
Arthur: Except for fish.
Hobson: I beg your pardon? Did you say "except for fish"?
Arthur: Yes... fish all bathe together. Although they do tend to eat one another. I often think... fish must get awfully tired of seafood. What are you thoughts, Hobson?
Hobson: Pardon me...
[rises, removes Arthur's top hat and smacks him upside the head]

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Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988)

[to Arthur]
Hobson: If projectile vomiting ever becomes an Olympic event, you would do your country proud.

Arthur: What can I do Hobson? I mean what would you do if you were me?
Hobson: The word "bathe" comes to mind.

Arthur: Yesterday I sold some blood at a hospital.
Hobson: Hospital? I should've thought a local distillery would have paid you much more.

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