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: You like Men at Work? Willard
: Which man? Ren
: Men at Work. Willard
: Well where do they work? Ren
: No, they don't, they're a music group. Willard
: Well what do they call themselves? Ren
: Oh no! What about the Police? Willard
: What about 'em? Ren
: You ever heard them? Willard
: No, but I seen them. Ren
: Where, in concert? Willard
: No, behind you.
: You know what it is, you've got an attitude problem. Ren
: Oh I've got an attitude problem? Willard
: Yes and I'm not the first one that's noticed it. I mean we're not stuck in the goddamn middle ages here. I mean we've got TV. We've got Family Feud. We're not stuck in Leave It to Beaver land here. Ren
: Well I haven't noticed a wet T-shirt contest in town yet. Willard
: Yeah well I haven't either, but I'm waiting. Patiently. Ren
: I tell what I'd like to do - I'd like to fold a Playboy centerfold inside every one of Reverend Moore's hymnbooks!
: People think she's a hellraiser. Ren
: Is she? Willard
: I think she's been kissed a lot.
: You won't get any dancing here, it's illegal. Ren
: Jump back!
: Hey, I came with this girl. Fat Cowboy
: Well it doesn't look like you're leaving with her. Willard
: Hey, I guess you didn't hear me the first time. Rusty
: Willard, no fights, you don't even know this guy. Fat Cowboy
: Why don't you just flake off, huh?
: I'll tell you, there was this place called the Blue Heaven. It was great. Had to steal IDs to get in, but it was incredible. It was like a huge underground circus, you know. Hot pink neon climbin' up the walls. And astro music. And millions of girls, like from the university mostly. If we could get one to dance, just one, then that was it. We'd get out on the floor and we'd really start to smoke. We'd start cuttin' in, and these girls would stop. - And they'd look. Willard
: They'd look how? Ren
: You know, they'd start to warm up a little. Right? Pretty soon, they'd start buying us beers. Willard
: They're buying you guys beers? Ren
: Oh, yeah. Wait. There was this one. This was the best. Ginger. Listen. We started dancing, right? Slow dancing, like we're stuck to each other. Eventually it's obvious to me that she wants to do more than dance. Right? So we left the place. On the way to the car, she's already got her tongue in my ear. We get to the car. She says we can't go to her place 'cause of her roommate, right? But she says, ''Hey, that's no problem.'' She's got seats in the car that recline back. All the way back. - If you know what I'm saying. - All the way? Would I shit you? Right? She rips my shirt open. She's clawing my chest. She's biting my neck, and I'm trying to get over the stick shift... 'cause we're goin' like a freight train now. All of a sudden, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs... ''Oh, God! Oh, God! Don't stop! Make Ginger pop!'' Willard
: Oh, shit, really? Ren
[Willard looks confused
: But we did dance. We danced our asses off.
: Woody over here don't know a dance from a dipstick. Woody
: And you do? You do, huh? Which way is left? Willard, which way is your left?
[Willard looks perplexed
: He don't know his left foot from his right foot.
: [referring to Ariel
] You can stick a quarter in that girl's backpocket and tell whether or not it's heads or tails. You're trying to knock boots with her, aren't you? Ren MacCormack
: No, I'm not. Willard
: Yes, you are. He is.
: [referring to Ariel
] Daddy gonna take her out to the woodshed. Ren MacCormack
: What the hell does that mean? Willard
: That means she's in deep shit.
: [Dusting himself off after bus crash, in singsong voice
] "The wheels on the bus go BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!"
: [Jumping onto Ren's bus, which is on fire
] Hey, you know your bus is on fire? Ren MacCormack
: Yeah, no shit!
: Now, when you said you were gonna wear a cowboy hat, I didn't know how I'd feel about it. Willard
: And now that you've seen me in it, what's the verdict? Rusty
: I think you're sexier than socks on a rooster. Willard
: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Rusty
: I mean it, stud.