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: [Michel is ignoring the phone
] Michel, the phone. Michel
: Mmm-hmm. It rings. Lorelai
: Can you answer it? Michel
: No, people are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to anymore of them. Lorelai
: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency. Michel
: [He pickes up the phone
] Independence Inn, Michel speaking.
: No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.
: She's back! She's coming back! Lorelai
: Why? Michel Gerard
: I don't know why. Maybe she left her phone. Or spell book.
: Are those people waiting for a bellman? Michel Gerard
: No, they're waiting for a unicorn to sing to a rainbow. Yes, a bellman. But there's only one because we had to lay off the others. And a maid called in sick, so not only am I dealing with answering phones and checking people in and out, but I'm going to have to do turn down service and carry people's bags to their rooms and... Lorelai
: You're going to a bad place. Now just take a breath and go to a good place. Michel Gerard
: Plus, I had to run home and play with my Chow puppies because the Chow book said they need love and stimulation or else they'll murder you later on. And Pau-Pau had fallen in her water bowl and was soaking wet so I had to blow dry her and... Lorelai
: Okay, the nice place!
: Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.
: I'm sorry, if you're talking to me you'll have to do it in woofs. Emily Gilmore
: You've been working with my daughter way too long. Michel Gerard
: Don't I know it.
: [explained to Lorelai that he once got attacked by swans
] No one forgets that. Lorelai
: Oh, no, not being attacked by a band of swans. Was it an all-boy band? Kind of a scary, feather, 'NSync fiasco? Michel
: This is not funny. Lorelai
: No, I'm sorry. It's not funny at all
[swan shrieks/Michel freaks
] Oh, my God. Now, come on. You have to admit that's a little funny.
: I can't believe you did this. Michel Gerard
: Oh, you can too.
[Michel enters the room and sees Rory back at the inn
] Michel Gerard
] Rory! Rory Gilmore
: Oh, hi, wow, Michel! Michel Gerard
] Eh... hi. Lorelai Gilmore
: Boy, that was weird. Michel Gerard
: She just surprised me, that's all... It's kind of okay that you are here.
: [Suki's doctor put her on bed rest for her pregnancy
] Well, we need Suki here. Lorelai
: Well, Suki's not gonna be here so let's go to plan B. Michel
: Ok, plan B, that involves Suki's clone also named Suki. Lorelai
: Well, um, who here makes the sauces? Michel
: Suki. Lorelai
: Who here, Michel? Michel
: Suki trusts no one else with the sauces, she makes the sauces. Lorelai
: Well, what does Mark make? Michel
: Salads. Lorelai
: Ok, and Donnie does desserts, what do our other guys do? Michel
: Well, that man does the cleaning, that man over there dresses the plates, that man uses tongs and... I have no idea what that man in the corner does but I will check his trunk before he leaves. Lorelai
: So without Suki here we have salads and desserts? Michel
: Pretty much. Lorelai
: We can't run a restaurant serving just salads and desserts. Michel
: I will not go to it, no. Lorelai
: Wait, ok, here we have ducks, who here does the ducks? Michel
: No body touches the ducks. Lorelai
: Well, um, starting now someone has to touch the duck. Michel
: I do not know what to tell you except it will not be me. Lorelai
: This is bad Michel. Michel
: I'm getting that, yes. Lorelai
: Well, we'll just figure something out, right? Michel
: Absolutely, ain't no mountain high enough. Lorelai
: Just formulate a plan, nail down a strategy. Any ideas? Michel
: We could order a pizza, some chinese food or one of those hogi's that you cut into a million pieces...
[Lorelai just booked the Dragonfly Inn's first reservation
] Michel Gerard
: But you wrote it down on a gum wrapper. Lorelai
: So? Michel Gerard
: It's embarrassing. This is an historical document. Sookie St. James
: Who cares what she wrote it down on? Michel Gerard
: Big Red wrapper. Sookie St. James
: Juicy Fruit would have been better? Michel Gerard
: Well, I'm going to go out and get a value pack for when things really start getting busy around here.
: You know what heppens when you assume, don't you? Lorelai Gilmore
: No. Michel Gerard
: Well, it is something about a donkey, it is a stupid American phrase!
: Jackson's taken a lot of courses through the Learning Center, and he loves it. He took beekeeping - Lorelai
: Jackson keeps bees? Sookie
: No, it turned out he was allergic. One stung his lip and his whole head blew up to three times its normal size. Michel Gerard
: Please tell me you have pictures?
: I'm staying out of the way. In situations like this, 'do not get in the way' is so valuable. Sookie
: Well, get in the way. Entertain the kids. Michel
: Like I'm Sponge Boy Big Pants or something? I do not entertain children.
: We cannot have this mouse running around the inn, customers will freak! Michel
: Tell them it's a baby, people love babies, they'll talk to it in funny voices. Lorelai
: Did you call an exterminator? Michel
: Why,no, what a wonderful idea! I was actually going to fasten a large wedge of cheese to my head and lay on the ground until Mickey gets hungry and decides to crawl out and snack on my face!
: Whatever. Sookie St. James
: Michel, people stopped saying "whatever" like two years ago. Michel Gerard
: Whatever. I'm Audi 5000.
: Hey, everything okay, Michel? Michel
: Yes, everything is fine. Lots of sunshine. I'll be right with you.
[On the phone
: I insist you do something about this before I go out and find a stick and make it pointy and come and find your cubicle and poke you very hard!