Christopher Hayden
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Quotes for
Christopher Hayden (Character)
from "Gilmore Girls" (2000)

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"Gilmore Girls: Santa's Secret Stuff (#7.11)" (2007)
Rory: It smells so good in here with all our trees.
Lorelai: It's like a dozen car air fresheners.
Rory: Just imagine how good it's gonna be once all our trees are here.
Christopher: This is crazy!
Lorelai: Seven trees.
Christopher: Which was crazy.
Lorelai: What? Buck a tree.
Rory: Dad, we have to have at least one tree in the kitchen.
Georgia 'GG' Hayden: Yeah, dad.
Christopher: I'm in a forest of crazy.

Rory: I love our trees!
Georgia 'GG' Hayden: Me too!
Christopher: You don't think our trees are...
Lorelai: What?
Christopher: Maybe a little homely?
Lorelai: Homely?
Christopher: I'm just saying.
Rory: What!
Lorelai: What are you saying?
Christopher: That our trees are not classically good-looking. I mean if you were to look up "tree" in the dictionary, you would not find one of these fellows.
Lorelai: Why would you look up "tree" in the dictionary?
Rory: So we don't have classically good-looking trees.
Lorelai: [At Chris] You don't know what a tree is.
Rory: Come on look at that tree.
Christopher: I'm looking
Rory: That tree has character.
Lorelai: It does.
Rory: That tree has earned character by persevering through freezing winters and forest fires and floods.
Lorelai: This tree's a fighter.
Rory: Woodpeckers, I mean maniacal woodpeckers just pecking at its trunk.
Lorelai: Survivor.
Rory: Peck, peck, peck, day in and day out.
Lorelai: That tree's a champion.

"Gilmore Girls: Go, Bulldogs! (#7.6)" (2006)
Christopher Hayden: Thought our stomachs should start adjusting to French cuisine so I got us croisants and cafe au lait
Lorelai Gilmore: I thought cafe au lait was Spanish
Christopher Hayden: No it's French for coffee and milk, leit is milk
Lorelai Gilmore: Really? I thought it was cafe ole! Like 'coffee, alright!'

Christopher Hayden: Apparently the crème brûlée is to die for.
Rory Gilmore: Since when do you say 'to die for'?
Lorelai Gilmore: Since he got addicted to Project Runway.
Christopher Hayden: Make it work!

"Gilmore Girls: French Twist (#7.7)" (2006)
Christopher Hayden: I hope GG picks up the language and the customs, but none of the rudeness.
Lorelai Gilmore: Oh, no, GG's too sweet. She's got an impenetrable coat of sweetness around her. You shouldn't have called her GG, you should've called her M&Ms

Lorelai Gilmore: Oh, my god.
Christopher Hayden: What?
Lorelai Gilmore: We're in Paris!
Christopher Hayden: You were thinking it was Phoenix?

"Gilmore Girls: Wedding Bell Blues (#5.13)" (2005)
Christopher: It is none of your business what goes on with Rory.
Luke: It sure as hell is my business!
Lorelai: Guys...
Christopher: Rory is my daughter, okay? Mine!
Luke: Oh, really? Well, where the hell where you when she had the chicken pox and would only eat mashed potatoes for a week? Or when she graduated high school and started college, huh? Where the hell were you when I was moving her mattress into her dorm and out of her dorm and back into her dorm?
Christopher: Where I was is none of your concern, okay? Rory is my daughter, and Lorelai's daughter, and that's it.
Luke: Yeah, but I'm with Lorelai.

"Gilmore Girls: Partings (#6.22)" (2006)
Lorelai Gilmore: Oh my God. What are you doing?
Christopher Hayden: What do you mean what am I doing? I thought "restroom" was code for "follow me, and we'll talk about how to get you out of this".
Lorelai Gilmore: What the hell kind of spy school did you go to?

"Gilmore Girls: Unto the Breach (#7.21)" (2007)
Lorelai Gilmore: We're going to figure out this whole divorced parenting thing eventually.
Christopher Hayden: She might be 60.
Lorelai Gilmore: Well, 60-year-olds are notoriously needy. At least we'll be in sync by then.

"Gilmore Girls: Christopher Returns (#1.15)" (2001)
Lorelai: Mom, neither of these two have any musical talent.
Christopher Hayden: Hey, I play guitar.
Lorelai: You know the opening lick to "Smoke on the Water."
Christopher Hayden: And I've since mastered the opening lick to "Jumpin' Jack Flash."
Richard Gilmore: I'm a Chuck Berry man myself.
[Lorelai chokes on her martini]
Richard Gilmore: Something wrong?
Lorelai: I would never have guessed that that last sentence would ever come out of your mouth.
Richard Gilmore: And why not?
Lorelai: Chuck Berry?
Richard Gilmore: Yes, Chuck Berry. He was all the rage when I was in school.

"Gilmore Girls: You've Been Gilmored (#6.14)" (2006)
Christopher Hayden: Lor, it's me. You busy? Can you talk?
Lorelai: How come you have the "I've got the government's secret microchip in my briefcase, and they're on to me" voice?

"Gilmore Girls: 'S Wonderful, 'S Marvelous (#7.4)" (2006)
Lorelai: [in disbelief] We have to go. We have to pick up my mother. From jail.
Christopher: [laughs] Your mother's in jail?
Lorelai: Ohhhh, this night keeps getting better and better.

"Gilmore Girls: Farewell, My Pet (#7.14)" (2007)
[last lines]
Lorelai: Hi.
Christopher: Hey. How was the funeral?
Lorelai: Sad. It's not just Luke.
Christopher: Lor...
Lorelai: I mean, you were right. There are feelings there. Because, when that ended I just jumped.
Christopher: I pushed you.
Lorelai: I jumped. But if that's all there was, if that's all it was, we could fix it, you know, with time.
Christopher: But it's not.
Lorelai: You've always been this possibility for me. This wonderful possibility. But it's just not right. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Christopher: Yeah. I guess I should have known, huh? It took me twenty years to get you to say yes.
Lorelai: I need you to know that you're the man I want to want.
Christopher: I know.
Lorelai: You have no idea how badly I wish...
Christopher: I do. I do know. I do.