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: It smells so good in here with all our trees. Lorelai
: It's like a dozen car air fresheners. Rory
: Just imagine how good it's gonna be once all our trees are here. Christopher
: This is crazy! Lorelai
: Seven trees. Christopher
: Which was crazy. Lorelai
: What? Buck a tree. Rory
: Dad, we have to have at least one tree in the kitchen. Georgia 'GG' Hayden
: Yeah, dad. Christopher
: I'm in a forest of crazy.
: I love our trees! Georgia 'GG' Hayden
: Me too! Christopher
: You don't think our trees are... Lorelai
: What? Christopher
: Maybe a little homely? Lorelai
: Homely? Christopher
: I'm just saying. Rory
: What! Lorelai
: What are you saying? Christopher
: That our trees are not classically good-looking. I mean if you were to look up "tree" in the dictionary, you would not find one of these fellows. Lorelai
: Why would you look up "tree" in the dictionary? Rory
: So we don't have classically good-looking trees. Lorelai
: [At Chris
] You don't know what a tree is. Rory
: Come on look at that tree. Christopher
: I'm looking Rory
: That tree has character. Lorelai
: It does. Rory
: That tree has earned character by persevering through freezing winters and forest fires and floods. Lorelai
: This tree's a fighter. Rory
: Woodpeckers, I mean maniacal woodpeckers just pecking at its trunk. Lorelai
: Survivor. Rory
: Peck, peck, peck, day in and day out. Lorelai
: That tree's a champion.
: Thought our stomachs should start adjusting to French cuisine so I got us croisants and cafe au lait Lorelai Gilmore
: I thought cafe au lait was Spanish Christopher Hayden
: No it's French for coffee and milk, leit is milk Lorelai Gilmore
: Really? I thought it was cafe ole! Like 'coffee, alright!'
: Apparently the crème brûlée is to die for. Rory Gilmore
: Since when do you say 'to die for'? Lorelai Gilmore
: Since he got addicted to Project Runway. Christopher Hayden
: Make it work!
: I hope GG picks up the language and the customs, but none of the rudeness. Lorelai Gilmore
: Oh, no, GG's too sweet. She's got an impenetrable coat of sweetness around her. You shouldn't have called her GG, you should've called her M&Ms
: Oh, my god. Christopher Hayden
: What? Lorelai Gilmore
: We're in Paris! Christopher Hayden
: You were thinking it was Phoenix?
: It is none of your business what goes on with Rory. Luke
: It sure as hell is my business! Lorelai
: Guys... Christopher
: Rory is my daughter, okay? Mine! Luke
: Oh, really? Well, where the hell where you when she had the chicken pox and would only eat mashed potatoes for a week? Or when she graduated high school and started college, huh? Where the hell were you when I was moving her mattress into her dorm and out of her dorm and back into her dorm? Christopher
: Where I was is none of your concern, okay? Rory is my daughter, and Lorelai's daughter, and that's it. Luke
: Yeah, but I'm with Lorelai.
: Oh my God. What are you doing? Christopher Hayden
: What do you mean what am I doing? I thought "restroom" was code for "follow me, and we'll talk about how to get you out of this". Lorelai Gilmore
: What the hell kind of spy school did you go to?
: We're going to figure out this whole divorced parenting thing eventually. Christopher Hayden
: She might be 60. Lorelai Gilmore
: Well, 60-year-olds are notoriously needy. At least we'll be in sync by then.
: Mom, neither of these two have any musical talent. Christopher Hayden
: Hey, I play guitar. Lorelai
: You know the opening lick to "Smoke on the Water." Christopher Hayden
: And I've since mastered the opening lick to "Jumpin' Jack Flash." Richard Gilmore
: I'm a Chuck Berry man myself.
[Lorelai chokes on her martini
] Richard Gilmore
: Something wrong? Lorelai
: I would never have guessed that that last sentence would ever come out of your mouth. Richard Gilmore
: And why not? Lorelai
: Chuck Berry? Richard Gilmore
: Yes, Chuck Berry. He was all the rage when I was in school.
: Lor, it's me. You busy? Can you talk? Lorelai
: How come you have the "I've got the government's secret microchip in my briefcase, and they're on to me" voice?
: [in disbelief
] We have to go. We have to pick up my mother. From jail. Christopher
] Your mother's in jail? Lorelai
: Ohhhh, this night keeps getting better and better.
: Hi. Christopher
: Hey. How was the funeral? Lorelai
: Sad. It's not just Luke. Christopher
: Lor... Lorelai
: I mean, you were right. There are feelings there. Because, when that ended I just jumped. Christopher
: I pushed you. Lorelai
: I jumped. But if that's all there was, if that's all it was, we could fix it, you know, with time. Christopher
: But it's not. Lorelai
: You've always been this possibility for me. This wonderful possibility. But it's just not right. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Christopher
: Yeah. I guess I should have known, huh? It took me twenty years to get you to say yes. Lorelai
: I need you to know that you're the man I want to want. Christopher
: I know. Lorelai
: You have no idea how badly I wish... Christopher
: I do. I do know. I do.