Sookie St. James
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Quotes for
Sookie St. James (Character)
from "Gilmore Girls" (2000)

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"Gilmore Girls: I Solemnly Swear (#3.11)" (2003)
[Lorelai displays a cootie catcher]
Lorelai: Pick a color.
Sookie: Pink!
Lorelai: 'Cause you're a girl.
Sookie: Exactly.
Lorelai: P-i-n-k. Pick a number.
Sookie: Five.
Lorelai: You will marry Shaun Cassidy and cheat with David.
Sookie: Well, good for me.
Lorelai: My turn.

Sookie: Jackson's taken a lot of courses through the Learning Center, and he loves it. He took beekeeping -
Lorelai: Jackson keeps bees?
Sookie: No, it turned out he was allergic. One stung his lip and his whole head blew up to three times its normal size.
Michel Gerard: Please tell me you have pictures?

Sookie: What's that? It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Jackson and his atomic pea tendrils!

Sookie: Joe and I worked together one summer up in the Berkshires.
Joe Mastoni: Oh, God, we had a wild time that summer, didn't we?
Lorelai: You had a wild time, huh? Do tell.
Sookie: We'd all work fourteen hours straight, party 'til dawn, then pile in Joe's van and wake up in New Hampshire or Maine with just enough time to get back for the next shift.
Joe Mastoni: We had a real interesting crew. Sookie, me, Feldman, Mellon, Bung...
Lorelai: Bung?
Sookie: He was the grill man. He had been up there for a couple years already, but Joe and I were both in prep.
Lorelai: And I repeat; Bung?
Alex Lesman: Don't look at me. I'm still wondering if Mellon's a man or a woman.

Alex Lesman: We've got the business model planned out, there's a couple of prime locations we're interested in. The only thing left to do besides build the place is pick a name.
Lorelai: Oh, little tip, don't choose anything cute.
Sookie: Like Jitters.
Lorelai: Or Spill the Beans.
Sookie: Or Higher Ground.
Lorelai: Or The Mudhouse.
Alex Lesman: Actually, I kinda like that.
Lorelai: Oh, me too. We call dibs.
Alex Lesman: I thought you were opening an inn.
Lorelai: Well, we wanna keep our options open.


"Gilmore Girls: The Ins and Outs of Inns (#2.8)" (2001)
Sookie: Oh, I had a dream about Fran last night.
Lorelai: [gasps] What was it?
Sookie: Well we were all old and grey me, you, Rory, Jackson and Michel. I had those big glasses and you were hard of hearing and kept saying "Huh? Huh?"
Lorelai: Oh that's attractive.

Sookie: [discussing their upcoming business venture] And if we go down after two years...
Lorelai: It'll be the most exciting two years of our lives!

Lorelai: Oh my God!
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: It's the title search for the Racel property. And guess who owns it!
Sookie: Tell me it's not that bastard Donald Trump.


"Gilmore Girls: Those Are Strings, Pinocchio (#3.22)" (2003)
Rory: Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes and seconds and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is, because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who've been my mentors, so many people who've shaped my life, and my fellow students lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric, but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars, without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore.
Sookie St. James: Uh, oh ...
Lorelai Gilmore: Hang in there.
Rory: My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.
Sookie St. James: Not crying.
Lorelai Gilmore: Crying a little.
Sookie St. James: Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying. No blubbering.
Rory: Thank you, Mom: you are my guidepost for everything.
Sookie St. James: On the verge of blubbering here.
Jackson Belleville: Not doing too well myself.
Lorelai Gilmore: Not you, too.
Luke Danes: I'm blubbering. You're freaks!

Sookie St. James: Not crying, right?
Lorelai Gilmore: Not crying. Keeping our cool so we don't miss anything.
Sookie St. James: Tears get in your eyes.
Lorelai Gilmore: And you miss things.
Sookie St. James: So we're not crying.
Lorelai Gilmore: Not crying.
Sookie St. James: [to Jackson] Not crying.
Jackson Belleville: Not crying.
[to Luke]
Jackson Belleville: Not crying.
Luke Danes: What?
Lorelai Gilmore: No crying.
Luke Danes: I'm not crying.

Rory: Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students,family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes, and seconds, and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who have been my mentors - so many people who have shaped my life and my fellow students' lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore.
Sookie: Uh oh.
Lorelai: Hang in there.
Rory: My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.


"Gilmore Girls: Keg! Max! (#3.19)" (2003)
Lorelai: No, Luke, thanks for doing this. It's exactly what the contractor said. We just wanted a guy with a good butt's opinion.
Sookie: Yeah, Tom has a terrible butt.
Luke: Please stop that.

Lorelai: So, what's going on with Luke here?
Sookie: I don't know, I've been keeping my distance because of what happened.
Lorelai: What happened?
Sookie: Well, he was lying on the floor pretty much like that, tinkering in the stuff back there and I got down and leaned in to see what he was doing, and after a while I realized that the whole time, my hand was on his butt.
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: It was an accident.
Lorelai: Its getting very Cinemax at night in here.
Sookie: It was embarrassing.
Lorelai: Uh huh, so... how was it?
Sookie: His butt?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Sookie: It's got a nice shape to it.
Luke: Will you two stop talking about my butt?
Lorelai: It's all positive.
Luke: And in bad taste.
Lorelai: We'll just talk about it after you leave.
Luke: Which is now, because I'm done.


"Gilmore Girls: The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles (#4.3)" (2003)
Sookie St. James: I don't want to be pregnant any more!
Lorelai Gilmore: What are you going to do; walk it off?

Sookie St. James: You know what happens when kids don't like you? They tie you to a chair, they brain you with a bat, they set fire to the house and blame it on the neighbours!
Lorelai Gilmore: Wow, now you can't have kids -or- live next door to them.
Sookie St. James: I don't know how to talk to them, I don't know how to feed them. I cover up their party cloths and I set their fingers on fire.
Lorelai Gilmore: Just this once!
Sookie St. James: I make them eat jalapeño-chipotle cream sauce. I'm Mommie Dearest!
Lorelai Gilmore: OK, back in the kitchen.
Sookie St. James: NO, I can't go back! I've got hummus in there! God knows what I'll do with it!


"Gilmore Girls: Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller (#5.1)" (2004)
Sookie St. James: Oh my God. You were kissing Luke!
Lorelai: Well, Sookie, I...
Sookie St. James: Oh! I am so glad! You two are perfect for each other. I have always thought that someday, if you just sort of turned around and opened your eyes, that you'd see it. And now you have, I'm just so damn happy!
Lorelai: Well, I'm...
Sookie St. James: You're not gonna die alone. I mean, somebody will *be* there! Somebody will know! Somebody will find the body, and call the police, and...
[deep breath]
Lorelai: Yeah, that *is* a relief.

Sookie St. James: Hey! It's a party. What's everybody doing up?
Lorelai: Aw, hey, good timing, Squiggy.
Sookie St. James: I was just going to check on my loaves and make sure they're rising properly. The air's a little more humid than I thought it was going to be, and if the loaves aren't rising properly, then - what are you doing?
[Luke and Lorelai pull Sookie closer to the sofa]
Lorelai: We need you to look at Kirk's butt.
Sookie St. James: Why?
Lorelai: Well, because he ran into some rose bushes, and he's got some thorns stuck in it, and I thought of you.
Sookie St. James: Me? Why me?
Lorelai: Well, because... you're a chef.
Sookie St. James: What?
Luke: And you have a kid.
Lorelai: Yes, that's better. You have a kid.
Luke: Neither of us has kids. Well, she does, but it's big and - and - and can look at her own butt.
Lorelai: I got this, thanks.


"Gilmore Girls: A-Tisket, A-Tasket (#2.13)" (2002)
Sookie St. James: I didn't want to ruin anything. We're doing so well. We have so much fun. It's all working.
Jackson Belleville: Why would living together mess all that up?
Sookie St. James: I don't know. We'd see each other every day...
Jackson Belleville: We see each other every day now.
Sookie St. James: - and you'd find out all my annoying little quirks...
Jackson Belleville: Hey, I've got annoying quirks too, you know.
Sookie St. James: I know!
Jackson Belleville: What's that supposed to mean?

Jackson: I think we should get married.
Sookie: What?
Jackson: I think we should get married.
Sookie: But uh...
Jackson: Soon.
Sookie: Are you pregnant?


"Gilmore Girls: Friday Night's Alright for Fighting (#6.13)" (2006)
Sookie St. James: Oh my God.
Lorelai Gilmore: What?
Sookie St. James: I wonder if Jackson has a love child.
Lorelai Gilmore: What?
Sookie St. James: I saw this kid wandering around town the other day. He looked exactly like Jackson and his voice was exactly like Jackson's, plus he was holding a banana, so I think he likes fruit.


"Gilmore Girls: Rory's Dance (#1.9)" (2000)
Rory Gilmore: Hey Sookie, look.
Sookie St. James: [gasps] Oh, my goodness. You're a movie star! I'm serious. At some point tonight, walk down a flight of stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases.


"Gilmore Girls: Driving Miss Gilmore (#6.21)" (2006)
[last lines]
Lorelai Gilmore: What's that smell?
Sookie St. James: 68 pounds of marijuana.


"Gilmore Girls: Fight Face (#6.2)" (2005)
Lorelai: [while looking at the Twykham house] *sighs* It's big.
Sookie St. James: That's what she said.
Lorelai: Good one.
Sookie St. James: Hey! I'm still twelve!
Lorelai: I meant the house. It's very big.
Lorelai: [Later] Whoa.
Sookie St. James: What?
Lorelai: Is it me or...?
Sookie St. James: Nope. I think it just got bigger.
Lorelai: That's what she said.
Sookie St. James: Good grief.
Lorelai: What? You can be twelve, but I can't be twelve?
Sookie St. James: No, you can be twelve.
Lorelai: Thank you.


"Gilmore Girls: A Vineyard Valentine (#6.15)" (2006)
Sookie St. James: [Freaking out about her Valentine's Day menu at the inn] You're not listening!
Lorelai Gilmore: I am too.
Sookie St. James: Then what am I saying?
Lorelai Gilmore: No idea.
Sookie St. James: How long have we been married?
Lorelai Gilmore: Nine years?


"Gilmore Girls: Always a Godmother, Never a God (#6.4)" (2005)
Lorelai Gilmore: He's snarky.
Sookie St. James: And sarcastic.
Lorelai Gilmore: He's snarcastic!


"Gilmore Girls: A Messenger, Nothing More (#5.2)" (2004)
Emily Gilmore: We had such a trip. Rory will fill you in. Spare her the more salacious aspects.
Lorelai Gilmore: Salacious aspects?
Emily Gilmore: Those European men - young, old, in between - they saw us coming.
Sookie St. James: They saw you coming where?
Emily Gilmore: We were like magnets. Such high libidos.
Lorelai Gilmore: You weren't wearing your "hot and wealthy" sandwich board, were you, Mom?


"Gilmore Girls: Twenty-One Is the Loneliest Number (#6.7)" (2005)
Sookie St. James: I can't believe Rory's turning 21. It seems like just yesterday she was crying because you told her Charlotte Bronte couldn't come to her sleepover because she's dead.


"Gilmore Girls: The Prodigal Daughter Returns (#6.9)" (2005)
Jackson: [asking why Luke and Lorelai are fighting] Was it because I brought up my meat rub?
Sookie: Yes, it was.


"Gilmore Girls: We've Got Magic to Do (#6.5)" (2005)
Jackson Belleville: So did anyone see that new show on TV last night?
Lorelai Gilmore: The one where they were solving crimes by cutting bodies open and poking their organs?
Jackson Belleville: No.
Sookie St. James: The one where they're solving crimes from thirty years ago by going to graveyards and cutting open bodies and poking their organs?
Jackson Belleville: No.
Lorelai Gilmore: Oh, the one where people are missing, and then they find their bodies and cut them open and poke their organs and that's how they solve crimes?
Jackson Belleville: No.
Lorelai Gilmore: What else is on?


"Gilmore Girls: The Incredible Sinking Lorelais (#4.14)" (2004)
[Lorelai just booked the Dragonfly Inn's first reservation]
Michel Gerard: But you wrote it down on a gum wrapper.
Lorelai: So?
Michel Gerard: It's embarrassing. This is an historical document.
Sookie St. James: Who cares what she wrote it down on?
Michel Gerard: Big Red wrapper.
Sookie St. James: Juicy Fruit would have been better?
Michel Gerard: Well, I'm going to go out and get a value pack for when things really start getting busy around here.


"Gilmore Girls: A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (#3.9)" (2002)
Lorelai: What's that?
Sookie St. James: That is a vat of boiling oil.
Lorelai: Really? Where's Quasimodo?
Sookie St. James: This is not a joking matter.
Rory: What is the oil for?
Lorelai: For pouring on Visigoths.
Sookie St. James: Lorelai.
Lorelai: When else am I gonna get to use my Visigoth material?


"Gilmore Girls: An Affair to Remember (#4.6)" (2003)
[Rory walks into her bedroom and discovers Lorelai and Sookie are using it to store several hundred tarts for a catering event.]
Rory Gilmore: You quiched my room!
Sookie St. James: They're not quiche. They're broccoli tarts.
Rory Gilmore: Then you tarted up my room.


"Gilmore Girls: Say Something (#5.14)" (2005)
Michel: I'm staying out of the way. In situations like this, 'do not get in the way' is so valuable.
Sookie: Well, get in the way. Entertain the kids.
Michel: Like I'm Sponge Boy Big Pants or something? I do not entertain children.


"Gilmore Girls: Super Cool Party People (#6.20)" (2006)
Sookie St. James: Super cool party people bid ya super cool adieu!
Sookie St. James: [Lorelai gives Sookie a weird look] ... That's how you were saying goodbye to people at the wedding.
Lorelai Gilmore: Super.


"Gilmore Girls: The Festival of Living Art (#4.7)" (2003)
Jackson Belleville: It's a great tradition.
Sookie St. James: And hospitals are so cold, you know, so full of infections.
Jackson Belleville: ...and dead people.
Sookie St. James: And sometimes the dead people have infections.
Jackson Belleville: ...and if they're not dead yet... they die!
Lorelai Gilmore: All true...


"Gilmore Girls: Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy (#2.5)" (2001)
Lorelai: Sookie, Jackson, I want you to meet Luke's nephew. This is Jess.
Sookie: Do you eat cheese?
Jess: What?


"Gilmore Girls: Emily in Wonderland (#1.19)" (2001)
Lorelai Gilmore: Rune is in the lobby.
Sookie St. James: Lorelai! Hello! I made some coffee!
Lorelai Gilmore: Rune is in the lobby.
Sookie St. James: I also made those little orange-glazed muffins you like, with warm cinnamon butter.
Lorelai Gilmore: Sookie! Rune is in the lobby. Why?
Sookie St. James: Your muffin's getting cold.
Lorelai Gilmore: My muffin's fine. My muffin wants to know what the fruitcake is doing in the lobby.


"Gilmore Girls: Hay Bale Maze (#7.18)" (2007)
Michel Gerard: Whatever.
Sookie St. James: Michel, people stopped saying "whatever" like two years ago.
Michel Gerard: Whatever. I'm Audi 5000.